My relationship with my fiancé had broken down. She bought me out of the apartment, and I found myself living back at home with mum. Just what every 28 year old guy wants - not! Don't get me wrong, mum was great. She spoiled me, took care of me and supplied plenty of sympathy on recent events.
Mum had lived on her own since the divorce, and had managed to keep the family home which was quite a property. Ironic really, as that was the business she was in - and had been responsible for buying the house in the first place. Her office was only a mile away, in a local shopping mall. So getting to/from work was quick and easy. Mum was now the owner of the business since buying it from the divorce proceedings a few years ago. She called me a few times a day to check how I was and if I needed anything. Her mobile phone was never away from her side. She had it with her like most women carry a purse. Despite being 48 years old, she was very 'gadget savvy' and could fluently use all the functions on her phone, as well as being computer literate.
She had aged well - still attractive features, great figure and wonderful legs. I had often harboured some un-motherly thoughts about her, but being back home had ignited them even further. Especially as I was now celibate. I had frequently thought of ways to progress a seduction with her, but cowardice and in-opportunity had played a major part on it remaining a dream.
A couple of weeks ago, mum decided to sell her car. It was an old Mercedes 280, which was also a proceed of the divorce. The car was fine, but she just fancied a change - a friend of hers had just got a new Merc with built in SatNav, and she loved it. She put an advert in a local car magazine, along with her mobile number. This gave me an idea. Yes, I know it was crazy, but at worst, it would only cost me £50, at best... well.
I bought one of those cheap 'pay as you go' mobile phones.
I was going to anonymously text mum and see if I could have some fun. I sat down with my new phone, just fresh out of the wrapper, new SIM card inserted, and placed it on the charger. What would be my first text to her...
"R U single?"
I waited for a reply - what had I done? Texting mum in this way was crazy, if she found out, I was in real trouble... Maybe she wouldn't text back thinking it was one of those 'junk' texts that are really common now.
"Who is this?"
She answered, not exactly an insightful response, but on further consideration of the original question, I couldn't really expect anything else.
I thought carefully of my reply - I needed to prize out more than a one word answer.
"an admirer - of both you, and your car. I've always appreciated mature stock"
Right, this was it, I'd either totally offended her into ignoring me, or intrigued her. I waited 5 minutes - nothing. I'd blown it. As I contemplated my next move, if any...
"The car has been round the block a few times, but is in excellent condition, just like her owner! Whats ur name?"
Shit, I really hadn't thought this through. I had no idea of what name to use. In a panic, I was just going to use mine, but changed it from Robert to Bob - no one ever called me Bob, not even mum. I sent:
"Bob... - whats ur name?"
Again, I waited - this had already lasted longer than I had any right to imagine.
"some admirer you are, don't u already know my name?"
"I've seen you around the mall car park - I think ur very sexy, but I don't know ur name"
My pulse was racing, I had just told mum I found her sexy. God, if she finds out it's me she'll tear me apart. I wondered what was going through her mind. I imagined her sitting at her desk in work, phone in her hand - punching in her texts.
"R u interested in buying car, or just chatting me up!"
Dam, this was going OK till she asked this. My next answer could potentially end our seduction.
"How would you feel if I was chatting you up?"
An open question, designed to leave it difficult for just a yes or no answer. As I sat at my PC in my study, I will admit to getting really turned on by texting mum. Her responses showed her to be a flirt, something I hoped she still was, but I'd never really witnessed.
"Bob, I'm busy right now - have a deadline to meet... must go"
Well, that was it, I'd blown it. The opportunity just slipped through my fingers and seducing mum just remained a childish fantasy.
Mum cam home just after 7pm as normal. She was wearing her dark navy business suit. A tailored jacket, two buttons, top button just below her puffy breasts. Her white silky blouse allowing the outline shape of her lace bra to be seen. Her breasts fuller with age, bigger than the 36C I use to dream about as a teenager. The skirt was just above her knee, which meant that as she sat down, it would ride up gently on her leg, exposing her thigh. She always wore heels, and today they were patent black court shoes, a 3" heel with a silver metal tip. I loved the way her heels shaped her ankles and accentuated her both calves. She also wore barely black stockings and from regular searches of her laundry basket, I knew she had both 'hold ups' and the type that needed a suspender belt to keep them on.
Her auburn hair fell down to her shoulders and flicked out. Her make up was subtle, but perfectly applied. Light red lipstick, glossy without a smear. Just a hint of mascara to accentuate her luscious green eyes, and a sprinkling of Guerlain fragrance, enough to be intoxicating without being overpowering.
As she sat down at the kitchen table, I saw the tell tale sign of suspender clips making a little bump through her skirt. I wonder if women knew this was a side effect of these types of stockings, or was it just horny men that noticed such things! She glanced at me and broke out in a wide smile - you couldn't help but to smile back.
We ate dinner with the usual chat about each others day, the TV gently murmuring in the background.
"Any interest in the car yet?" I asked
"Not yet, but its only been in a few days, and I noticed another one at nearly £400 cheaper - may have to drop the price but its in for 3 weeks, give it time" she said
So, no mention of Bob then I thought. I wondered if she even remembered her earlier text conversation.
Later that night, as I lay in bed, I had an idea. I picked up my phone, hit the message menu and sent a text.
"R u still busy?"
As I hit the 'send' button, I could hear instantly the BEEP of mum's phone in the next bedroom.
As a precaution, I turned my phone on silent. I held it in my hand, and shortly, I felt it vibrating to alert me of a text. I read it over & over again...
"sorry Bob, one of those days - r u still chatting me up?"
I wanted to say of course I was...
"Would you mind if I did, and u never did tell me ur name?"
Again, I heard her phone beep
"Its Yvonne, tell me about ur self, r u single?"
ME: Yes, single, I'm a construction project manager, hate football, & enjoy car sports
MUM: mmm... ur job must keep you fit. I bet you have rippling muscles.
This was great, mum was now flirting with 'bob'.
ME: I might have! U look gr8 Yvonne - do you work out?
MUM: No, I'm a natural looker LOL. How long have you been 'admiring' me?
ME: I noticed the merc 6 months ago when mall being extended, saw you one day getting into it. Have been 2 shy to say 'Hi'. Saw ur car in AutoCar
MUM: well, u don't seem to b shy now!
ME: How long u been single?