Chapter 3

1^st January 1871

It has taken me some days to get used to my new domestic arrangements. Of course, it was a conspiracy. Cat was at the bottom of it, if that isn't too awful a pun. It appears that Baljit was convinced that I thought her ugly and would never choose her as my consort. Of course, this was far from the truth but there was no reasoning with the girl. The upshot of the matter was that Cat suggested that Baljit insinuate herself into the Grand Deflowering - after all, she reasoned, there was a vacancy and Baljit was certainly ready. My own feelings in the matter were entirely disregarded. I console myself with the thought that many young maids her age are married and have children at their breasts. Baljit has proved her devotion to me on numerous occasions and she and Cat are really my only true friends in this place.

Both now sleep with me each night but Baljit refuses all Cat's advances to play those female games of which Cat is so fond. Apparently, Baljit is repelled by the idea of lovemaking with another woman. Of course, she did not have the years of the boredom in the old Nizzam's seraglio to warm to her to the idea. Thus Cat has to resign herself to sharing me with Baljit but displays not the slightest hint of jealousy. It is, all things considered, an harmonious arrangement and one that suits me very well. Baljit brings a freshness and naivety that balances nicely with Cat's somewhat worldly-wise approach to matters of the flesh. It is the contrast of the virgin and the whore, although, to be fair, Cat is no common trollop. She rejoices in her body - and anyone else's that she can get her lascivious hands on. Baljit, on the other hand, is still quite shy and sometimes squirms with embarrassment when I spend time studying her delicious yoni.

It truly is a thing of great wonder and beauty and I sympathise with poor Cat that this prodigy should be denied her. It resembles nothing so much as an exotic flower: a dark orchid, perhaps. Cat removed the covering of downy fleece so that I should take Baljit for just another of the new recruits and the effect is quite stunning. I have instructed Baljit to keep it naked, the better to view this marvel. The outer lips are soft and silky to the touch with that wonderful plumpness that I find irresistible. The little jewel is hidden by a long hood and is quite large when teased forth from hiding. The inner petals are simply sublime; smooth and symmetrical, and open at the slightest touch of my finger or tongue. I have taken to positioning Baljit over my face so that I may lap her while Cat rides upon my lingam. Baljit's heady fragrance and delighted little sighs are a powerful aphrodisiac and I fear that I spend almost at once when thus engaged. However, such is the power of her yoni over me that it takes me no time at all to regain my manly stature and continue to a second and even a third climax. Cat swears that my lingam grows by an extra inch or so whenever we disport ourselves thus.

Later that same month

Bad news has reached me from the northern borders. A particularly troublesome rogue by the name of Shohib Khan has captured my tame German engineers and is demanding an extortionate ransom. If he contented himself with the already generous sum on the ghooley chits, there would be no problem. However, the man is either mad or insatiably greedy and I cannot countenance his demands. Trouble has been fomenting in that area for some time now. Rumour has it that Shohib Khan has relations across the frontier in Afghanistan and, probably encouraged by successes there against the British, he has decided to stir things up here. There is nothing for it but to mount a punitive expedition, although I am not filled with an abiding sense of deep joy by the prospect. Warfare in the hill country is a chancy business. Each pass and defile offers a splendid opportunity for ambuscade and the wild tribesmen who inhabit that area are past masters at taking every advantage that is to be had from the awful terrain.

I summoned a council of war today and we discussed how best we might set about the task ahead. Cavalry is both a blessing and a curse in such fighting. One needs the mobility, of course, but in some places, only a mountain goat or a hairy-arsed Pathan can go. This inevitably means a pursuit on foot and this leaves the horse-holders vulnerable to attack unless one leaves a heavy screen to protect them. Of course, this, in turn, reduces the numbers available for the pursuit. It's a ticklish problem. We have resolved to go bull-headed straight for the valley where Shohib's people have their main villages. We thus hope to make them come to us rather than chase them through the high country. The obvious weakness of this strategy is that we shall probably have to fight our way through a succession of guarded passes unless we can find a way that they don't expect us to use. If only I had those bloody Germans' maps! Still, it can't be helped.

Fortunately, my second-in-command, Ramnesh Lal, has some experience of this sort of fighting and believes he knows a way around the main route. We have resolved, therefore to take something of a gamble and send the main body of the army to demonstrate in the passes while Ramnesh and I take three hundred of the best lancers through the back way. It's a huge risk, of course, but it seems better than waiting to be picked off piecemeal. The main army will bombard each pass with artillery before entering. The one good thing is that the rocky ground increases the effectiveness of the shells- stone splinters will kill and maim as effectively as shrapnel. I have ordered Baljit to stay at home and, for once, she has accepted my orders without arguing. All being well, the main body will march in two days and I shall follow with the Lancers a day or so later. We need to be sure that Shohib knows the army is coming. The Lancers will march by night and lie up during the day. In this way, we hope to distract our wily friend from out true intentions.

March 1871

We returned to the city yesterday, if not quite in triumph, at least victorious. My German friends are safe and well, if somewhat thinner than of yore. The campaign was bloody and the fighting as vicious as I have known in my time as a soldier. The main army turned the trick of attracting all the attention initially and they ably did their part with few casualties while giving Shohib's men something of a bloody nose. Unfortunately, our plan did not survive contact with the enemy. We must have been spotted at some point for, as we, made our way into the valley, we were ambushed by at least an equal number of tribesmen. What followed was highly unsatisfactory. There was nothing for it but that we must withdraw to the high ground. Thank the Lord I had taken the precaution of bringing along a half-battery of galloper guns for these three pieces surely saved our bacon. They were able to deploy on a slight reverse slope, out of range of the jezreels. From there, they kept up a steady fire to good effect and we were able to advance on foot under cover of the bombardment and take the tribesmen in the flank.

The battle lasted all afternoon and was brought to a conclusion only by the onset of darkness. Some very nasty skirmishing continued throughout the night with knife and sabre. The tribesmen had the distinct advantage in that they knew those hills like the backs of their hands. My boys stuck to their duty, though, and although we suffered about a dozen casualties during the hours of darkness, we gave at least as good as we got. Then Shohib made a big mistake. He abandoned his defence of the main passes to rush back to protect the villages in the valley. By a stroke of good fortune, we were able to contact the main body by heliograph and had them force the pass straight away with the remaining cavalry and guns, the infantry following as best they could. We were hard-pressed for a few hours before the reinforcements could come up but, by then, we had established a position in some rocks on the southern shoulder of the valley.

Our Enfields out-ranged the old jezreels and were able to do some fearful execution before the beggars tried to rush us. About a thousand of them broke cover and hurled themselves towards our position. Had they but tried this even so much as a quarter hour earlier, I should not be writing this entry now but would probably be screaming my lungs out as they cut off my stones. However, poor old Shohib was not quite as enterprising as he needed to be and the whole pack of them were caught in open country by the arriving cavalry of the main army. We mounted up forthwith and joined in the mayhem. We rode them down, stabbing with lance and sabre and no quarter given. It was a massacre. Some got away by running up into the rocks and we shelled them to blazes. The infantry mopped up when, eventually, they arrived. We rounded up about six hundred survivors, including the head villain himself, and marched them into the largest village. There, I held a Durbar and read the riot act.

The Germans were being held further up the valley in some caves and I had them sent for. I was even magnanimous enough to allow them to bring in the wounded. It was pretty sullen bunch that assembled, I can tell you. I decided not to depose Shohib - better the Devil you know - and even allowed him half a lakh of rupees for keeping the Germans alive, much to his surprise. My message was clear. I can be a good friend but will be an implacable foe. He swore his loyalty, but he's about as trustworthy as a king cobra with a severe dose of piles so I took a couple of his sons as hostages against his good behaviour. The whole affair would have been a total triumph had not poor Ramnesh Lal been one of our fatal casualties. The old boy fought like a lion but took a ball in the throat during the last fighting. I don't know how I shall ever replace him.

The Germans left this morning, refusing any further blandishments on my part to continue with their survey. They were able to complete a reasonable amount and I now possess serviceable maps on about one third of the interior. Sadly, they took their remaining stock of beer with them. I declared a day of celebration for the Kingdom and threw a banquet for the men. We set up trestle tables on the main parade square and the whole palace was filled with the spicy smell of the various dishes. Many of my Hindoo soldiers eat no meat but there were curries of brinjhal, okra, yam and a host of other vegetables as well as lamb for the Musselmen. I had the girls from the harem serve the meal, suitably attired in diaphanous robes that revealed nothing but suggested everything. Not many of the men drink alcohol but, nonetheless, they were all in high spirits and greatly appreciated the festivities. We hired some nauch girls to dance for them and I suspect that few of those maidens went to their beds alone.

I held my own celebration, too. Cat and Baljit were overjoyed to see me alive, having convinced themselves that my ghoolies would be decorating some tribesman's saddletree. As soon as Cat had heard the army were returning, she had made her preparations and I had scarcely walked into my quarters before she was dragging me into the bedroom. There, she and Baljit stripped me of my travel-stained uniform and inspected me for signs of damage. Then we repaired to the bathhouse where Cat had had the bearers draw a huge hot tub. My syce arrived and shaved me as I soaked and, as soon as he had departed, the girls stripped off their pyjamas and joined me in the bath. I had missed them both greatly and my lingam was rampant in an instant. Baljit knelt and leaned forward, trapping the unruly member between the exquisite softness of her breasts and, moving her back sinuously, imparted to that region a wonderful sensation that soon had me trembling like an autumn leaf. Cat bent her head and proceeded to suck in turn on Baljit's nipples and the head of my lingam. She teased me, lavishing far more time and attention on Baljit and sparing me only a fleeting second or two of intense pleasure. I noticed, with no little surprise, that Baljit did not object to her ministrations but seemed rather to revel in the feelings that Cat was so ably giving her.

Finally, sensing that I could stand it no longer, Baljit dipped her head and took me in her mouth and I shot my seed like a fountain, sending gout after gout of the pearly fluid into her mouth. So much had been pent up while I was away with the army that she could not accommodate its volume and it ran from her lips to be gobbled greedily by Cat. They kissed each other deeply, allowing my seed to slip between them until both their faces were covered in it. I lay back in the bath and sighed with pleasure. The heat of the water relaxed me utterly and I was on the point of drifting off to sleep when a commotion broke out in the adjoining room and I could hear raised voices and angry shouting. I roused myself and leapt from the bath, not even pausing to put on a robe. Baljit looked scared and Cat was watching warily as I flung wide the bathhouse door to be confronted by a mob of agitated concubines who all seemed to be haranguing the two soldiers stationed there. Of course, I instantly demanded to know the meaning of this unseemly riot. Peace was restored with some difficulty and. piece by piece, came to understand the nature of the uproar.

It soon became clear that about a dozen or so of my harem had heard contradictory rumours both of my death and my safe return and had come, en masse, to satisfy themselves as to the true position. When confronted with the living proof of their lord's survival, albeit naked as a jaybird and dripping wet, they rushed forward and began to press around me, some touching me with almost holy reverence while others, with clearly more earthly motives, handled me most lewdly. Nothing would satisfy them but that we all repaired to my chamber where I might render them a full account of my doings. Thus, naked as I still was, I was borne away by this chattering coterie leaving Cat and Baljit to follow in my wake. Once we gained the sanctuary of my quarters, a semblance of order was restored but the bolder spirits among them soon made it plain that they sought action rather than words from me and very soon I was engulfed in pulchritude. There was little I could do, or might I add, choose to, other than to allow them their way.

They scattered cushions on the floor and gently persuaded me to recline thereon. Hard little nipples were offered to my eager lips while fingers and tongues caressed my lingam. Someone was my licking at my fundament and in no time, I was hard as steel. I lay back and let it happen, only pausing to settle a deliciously dripping yoni on my erect member before reaching for two more to penetrate with my fingers and allowing a third to press against my face. They went at it with a will. The bodies thus engaged swapped places every few moments. All the while, one girl was sweeping my body with her hair and another licked at my stones. My earlobes were being nibbled by two more girls and another two, or perhaps it was three, sucked upon my toes, overloading my senses and increasing the rising tide of lust within me. Any hope of conscious thought or control fled in the face of this onslaught and I rutted like an animal. I rose to my knees and grabbing the nearest available, flipped her on to her front and pounded at her in the dog fashion, howling like a hound as I did so.