This story parallels my story Too Far from Carol's perspective and continues her experience following the events depicted in that story. It was sent to me for submission by Topazz who I think did a nice job. -- RPSuch
I suggest you read Too Far by rpsuch although I believe this story will stand on its own merits. This is not a 'stroke' story and you should spend your time elsewhere if that is what you are looking for. This is the story of a woman in a marital relationship. Although she is a highly intelligent woman, she makes many poor decisions which destroy both her own happiness and her marital relationship through the inadequacies of her own character. - Topazz
I'm Carol Newsome née Crawford. To give you some of my background, I'll take you back to my high school days. I was always very competitive and always the top one or two scholastically throughout. Sports were another thing. I played some individual sports such as tennis and, while I was adequate, I did not always win. Since I was so competitive, I found that I could cheat and play head games with my opponents. Many were more athletically gifted than myself but I found myself winning under such conditions. You might say that was my introduction to manipulating my peers although I had been able to do that to my parents to get my way throughout my childhood. My parents were upper middle-class and I had two brothers. I learned early in life how to divide and conquer to get anything I wanted from all of them.
After high school, not wanting the stress of trying to gain a university degree, I attended college taking courses to become a paralegal. I was in residence and roomed with Nicole who became my best friend. Nicole was taking courses in Marketing and was also quite intelligent. As a pair, we had little problems in drawing male attention on campus since we were both attractive with great figures. We seldom spent weekends alone without male companionship. We had both had some semi-permanent relationships by the time we were in our final year.
I accepted most of the feminist dogma at this time. Scholastically, I had outstripped all of my male peers during my years in school. I believed in the mantra that if you wanted a job done well, find a woman to do it. This also carried over into my personal life in that I wanted full control of any heterosexual relationship. I recognized that I could not be overly blatant in this regard while trying to attract a mate. I confess that I had 5 sexual relationships spanning the years of high school and college. I did not consider myself to be promiscuous, since in each case, I was exploring the possibility that one of these partners could be my permanent life-mate and I had no bisexual tendencies. I had finally determined that my current man-friend had exhausted his potential and I was going to ditch him on the night that the two of us went to a campus party. That was the night I met Simon.
Simon was with a girl who was an acquaintance of mine from school. It appeared that they were not getting along too well. Somehow, Simon and I began talking while (surprisingly) our dates seemed to hit it off with each other and wandered off to another room leaving us alone. Both Simon and I later found out that our respective partners had also been contemplating breaking off with each of us -- my ex was fed up with my manipulative ways since I had always called all the shots in my relationships. Simon's partner was unhappy with his total morality and honesty. She wanted more of a swinging and partying lifestyle. She was also into recreational drugs which Simon objected to.
Simon and I were quite attracted to each other -- there were sparks flying between us on that first evening. Simon was extremely bright and very interesting to talk to He asked me for a date for the following week and I immediately accepted. We later did the decent thing -- left the party with our dates. I gave my date the "Dear John" news in the car as he drove me home. He was not upset with my words and we promised and did remain close friends.
Simon and I became inseparable as a couple. I must admit that I pursued him until I caught him. He appeared to appreciate all the attention I lavished on him. I had always been a flashy (versus trashy) dresser and I outdid myself whenever I was meeting him. Even after we married, I carried on with this type of attire, my ego being reassured by how I was able to attract the attention of other men.
I suppressed, to a major extent, my competitive feminist ways during our courtship. I loved the fact that Simon was a man completely at peace with himself. He was very mature and lived by a strict moral code in keeping with that maturity. While not overly handsome, he was very attractive and a good dresser -- his clothes were cut to show off an extremely well toned physique. He kept fit by working out 2 - 3 times a week and his weight never varied by more than a couple of pounds in all the time that I was with him. I had never met a man whose word was his bond and knew that he would always tell me the truth. When we both realized that we were on the road to matrimony, we had sex together. Only it wasn't just sex -- he was an extremely accomplished lover and teased me and pleased me and satisfied me better than any of my former lovers. If the East German judge had been awarding marks, he would have received a seven on the scale of 0 to 6. I fell completely in love with him. We wed just over a year after our meeting at the party.
At the time of our wedding, I was 24 while Simon was 29. I had started working for a firm of 30 lawyers while Simon was employed by a medium sized software company that he had joined after receiving his university degree in computer engineering. We were both extremely well paid. We bought a house and settled into the typical DINK (double income no kids) life style although we had both agreed that we did want children at a future date. Simon was the most easy-going individual that I had ever met. In the first years, we were able to travel to many places in Europe and even took a trip to the Orient. We were theatergoers and attended many other cultural events in our city. Of course, I did the research and made the reservations for all our outings since Simon was so easy to please. Quite often, I attended sporting events with him since he was a rabid fan and, by being supportive of his interests, I gained a great deal of pleasure in just sharing these outings with my husband.
Simon handled our joint finances. Our paychecks were deposited directly into each of our personal savings accounts by our companies. Afterwards, we would transfer money from our individual accounts less each of our living allowances into a joint account. Over those first years, as we each received pay increases, we would transfer these additional monies into this joint account. Simon would use this account for investment or to pay for large purchases for us. Through my performance in the office I received a promotion and a 25% raise. I told Simon that the increase was only 10% and left the other 15% to accumulate in my personal account as 'mad' money. I really don't know why I did this but, thinking back, I now recognize that I was prepared to use money to help me manipulate our marriage.
As I said, Simon was totally easy going and acceded to most of my requests. I thought that I was the person in control of our marriage but Simon would fight tooth and nail if he felt that I was going too far in my demands. There were several cases in point. The first one was the purchase of our house. I wanted to live in a new subdivision while Simon wanted to live in a more stately, built-up area of the city. He reasoned with me about his choice telling me that the grounds were already landscaped and the house did not need any additional work to make it into our home. He also considered that, as a long term investment, the older house would appreciate at a greater rate because of its location. There would be less sweat equity involved and we would have more time to pursue our other interests together His logic finally convinced me, not without some histrionics on my part, and we purchased and moved into his choice of houses. I must say that he was right and I never regretted giving in to him in this regard. This was probably the only major purchase that we made where I let myself be swayed
.... There is more of this story ...