Chapter 4: The Coast Guard

It was almost eight by the time the cutter appeared on the horizon. She hove to several hundred yards from the Bottoms Up and the floating debris. By that time, the skipper had told everyone what to expect in the way of an investigation and had requested that the Jensons and Phoebe should get dressed, although he wanted the Meredith family to stay as they were, so that the Coast Guard could see their exact condition as they were rescued. He had made a special private comment to Malcolm that both ladies should put on slacks and be wearing brassieres. Their usual attire was a bikini, or maybe a bikini bottom and blouse or tank top. Neither wore much more, nor often wore much less.

His comment that it was too bad they didn’t have any identification was quickly rebutted by Maggie. “But we do! Jason thought of that one.” Lifting her T-shirt to just under her large breasts, she exposed a Ziploc baggie taped to her waist with white first aid tape. Inside was a wallet and passport. Following her lead, her mother and children lifted their shirts as well, showing that they, too, had wallets and passports taped inside plastic bags on their stomachs. Both Malcolm and the captain noticed the flat oval shapes of birth control pills in Mary’s and her mother’s. They peeled them off and set them on the table.

Jim looked approvingly at Jason. “You’re all right, kid! I like the way you think. That makeshift life jacket and this - you’ve got a good head in an emergency. You can sail with me any time.”

Jason gaped in wonder. He was very impressed with the large and burly sea captain. “Really?”

Malcolm, continued. “He’s right, Jason. When I was in med school, we learned that one of the biggest killers is panic. You didn’t panic. You may just have saved these ladies; for sure, you made it a whole lot easier to get rescued.”

“Seriously, son, I can teach any idiot how to steer and read a compass. What I can’t teach is how to keep your head out of your ass when the shit hits the fan. You did good, boy,” finished Jim.

Both Babs and Maggie looked at the boy with newfound respect, although his sister thought this was a whole lot of bullshit. For their parts, Caroline and Phoebe began looking at Jason as something more than a kid, but as a rather intriguing young man, and began to wonder about what was under his swimsuit. What was under his T-shirt had looked interesting.

Robby had stayed in his clothes after the rescue, so he handled the approach to the cutter as the rest prepared to go on board. Malcolm noted that Jim had changed out of his usual shorts and flowery shirt into khaki pants and shirt, had traded his sneakers for a pair of brown leather dress shoes, and was wearing socks. After the captain had donned his cap, he was startled with the realization that Jim had put on his old uniform, albeit without medals or insignia, and that the cap he always wore was a Coast Guard Master Chief’s uniform cap. Both Malcolm and Jim set out the foam rubber bumpers as they approached the gangway that appeared from a hatch in the cutter’s port side.

As they approached the cutter, the skipper turned to Phoebe and Robby. Malcolm was near and overheard. “Listen, you two, I know you’ve both a got a pretty good sense of humor and like to joke around a lot, but can it for a bit, okay? On board that boat is the closest thing to God you’ll find on this good Earth, the Captain of an American warship. So, don’t screw around, got it? He’s going to want to hear a lot of ‘yes sirs, no sirs, pleases, and thank yous’.” Malcolm came up and commented that this seemed good advice for everybody, as they prepared to go aboard the cutter.

The ensign at the top of the gangway smirked as he saw the yacht maneuver closer. Bottoms Up - Jeez, didn’t these guys ever have an original idea? The boat’s name had been painted large on her fantail, just below a large painting of a voluptuous nude woman reclining prone, her derriere lifted high. Then, as he caught sight of the five beautiful and busty women on board, he began to wonder which, if any, had posed for the painting. He was startled out of his reverie by the appearance of a Master Chief climbing the gangway, stopping at the top to salute him and the colors.

“Permission to come aboard?” asked the Chief.

“Huh? Oh, sure,” said the distracted ensign stepping out of the way as Jim rolled his eyes heavenward. “If you’ll all follow me, the captain will see you in the wardroom.” He led the way into the bowels of the ship. “Watch the hatches and the knee-knockers,” he called out. They went up several decks and finally came to an open door, whereupon the ensign said, “Please wait for Commander Potter to invite you in.” Then he knocked on the door and said, “Skipper, they’re here.”

Seated at the head of a table was a medium-sized middle-aged man, looking at some papers in front of him and signing them. The ensign was astounded when Captain Jimmy stepped inside uninvited, and then was flabbergasted when he said, “Ensign Potter, you’ve grown up!”

The captain’s head snapped up and an angry retort began to form, until he saw the face smiling at him. “Well, I’ll be damned! Petty Officer Third Class Sorenson, you’ve grown old!”

“In a pig’s eye!” Jim stepped forward and thrust out his hand, which Commander Potter enthusiastically shook.

Potter looked over at the ensign. “Stop staring, Mister Usyek. Master Chief Sorenson taught me which was the bow, and which was the stern a few years ago, something like what Master Chief Wong is failing to do with you. Bring everyone in, and then send for Lieutenant Kuzak.”

“Yes sir!” said the scurrying ensign, who disappeared as soon as the other eight people had entered the wardroom. Once seated, a mess mate served coffee, by which time a lieutenant showed up with a tape recorder and several notepads. He was served coffee as well, during which time Potter and Jim caught up on old times.

At a nod from Lieutenant Kuzak, who flipped on the tape recorder, Captain Potter became serious. “This hearing will now proceed. Lieutenant Kuzak is from the Judge Advocate General’s office, and he will question all involved as to the events surrounding the sinking of the ship...” He consulted some notes, and continued, “ ... unnamed vessel, and the rescue of her passengers by the crew and passengers of the ship...” Consulting his notes again, he finished, “... Bottoms Up.”

“Excuse me,” interrupted Jason, much to the captain’s surprise. “Do we need lawyers?”

Lieutenant Kuzak answered for his captain. “This is a preliminary investigation. As such, no charges have been preferred and counsel for the defense is not required, inasmuch as there is no defense. I’m simply going to ask you what happened and what you did. I should point out that a transcript of this proceeding will be made available to any other investigating agency. If, however, you decide that you do wish a lawyer present, we will hold this investigation in abeyance until counsel can be obtained. That would probably mean that you must be confined until said counsel is available, probably several days. In other words, young man, answer my questions now, or you can visit the brig until you answer them later. Satisfied?”

Jason was cowed by the idea of going to the brig, and quickly explained, “Hey, it sounded like we were being charged with something! We didn’t do anything!”

“Okay, fine, now you know. Now, does anybody here have any identification? Passports, driver’s licenses, that sort of thing?”

This time it was Kuzak who was surprised when everybody at the table pulled out identification. The rescuers all pulled out their passports, while the rescued handed over the plastic bags holding their identification. A yeoman was summoned to make copies, and Kuzak began the questioning.