It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, we had just taken a stroll through Central Park, and were now headed to our favorite Cafe. But today, my Uptown Girl had a most peculiar, and devious look in her eyes.
I leaned over from my latte and told her that her eyes seemed to be thinking about something.
She replied. "Yes, you are right as usual. I'm trying to remember if there is a hardware store somewhere around here."
I said. "There's a hardware store about 15 blocks away."
She gasped. "15 blocks. Are you sure there is nothing closer?"
I laughed and said. "As the Uptown rents keep climbing, the hardware stores just keep getting further and further away."
She said. "15 blocks, after that I will reward myself with something high in calories."
We finished our latte and headed to the hardware store.
I asked her. "What do want to buy?"
She replied. "I need a clothes line and a very sharp pair of scissors."
When we arrived at the hardware store, she found the clothes line and scissors, and I went to hand her a pulley with that.
She asked. Oh, why would I need a pulley?"
I put the pulley back and thought to myself. "How strange that someone would buy a clothes line without a pulley, but she's from Uptown and maybe they don't use pulleys."
Something didn't quite fit, she had a very good dryer, so I just couldn't figure why she would need a clothes line, but I was starting to tire from the walk and the partying the night before.
I just felt like taking a little knap. We got back to her apartment and we had a few glasses of wine while listening to some soothing tapes. I felt very tranquil and started to close my eyes.
She said. "You look tired. Come and lay down on the bed."
I asked. "Do you mind."
She said. No, no problem, I'm tired to, and I will join you in a while, I just have something to do first."
I noticed she had the windows wide open again, so, I took everything off but my shorts and pulled the covers over me.
I fell into a deep sound sleep and didn't awaken again, until I felt the cold night air blowing on my chest.
I thought. She must have knocked the covers off me, as she had done so many times before."
I went to reach for the covers, but my hands could not move.
I opened my eyes, and found that my arms and legs were tied to her bed posts. I looked over and noticed her sound asleep beside me. I called her name and she started to wake.
She asked. Why are you waking me?"
I replied. "I want to know why I'm all tied up."
She laughed and said. "Oh that."
I said. "Yes, oh that."
She replied. "You weren't suppose to wake up yet."
I told her. "I woke up because I was freezing from all that cold air coming through the open window."
She threw the cover over me, and said. "Go back to sleep."
I went back to sleep and I didn't wake up again until I heard the sound of an electric razor.
I opened my eyes and saw her standing over me with the electric razor.
I asked. Why am I tied up? And what are you doing with that electric razor?"
She laughed, and said. "This is all part of the surprise I've been planning for you."
I laughed and said. "You mean, you really didn't by that rope for a clothes line."
She laughed, and said. "Oh, you're so perceptive."
Then she smiled and said. "You are always pleasuring me, I just wanted you to have 100% pleasure for a change, and I know if you're not tied up, you wont let me go all the way through with my plans."
I laughed, and said. "Plans. What do you mean plans?"
She laughed and said. "I've been thinking about this all week. I wanted to do something special for you for Valentines Day, then I thought, I would do something that you would never do for yourself."
I said. "So you tied me up with the clothes line. Thats my Valentines Day surprise."
She laughed and said. "You have no idea what sort of surprises I have in store for you."
Then she came toward me with the electric razor.
I said. "Let me guess. You want to give me a haircut for a surprise."
She said. "A haircut yes. But not the kind of haircut that you would ever want."
Then she pointed the electric razor at my chest.
I asked. "Why are you pointing the electric razor at my chest?"
She said. "I'm going to do something I know you would never do."
I asked. "What's that?"
She said. "I'm going to shave your chest."
I said. "Oh no your not," confident that I could get free of the closeline. But I was tied more tighly than I had imagined. I couldn't even budge.
I asked. "How did you know how to tie a rope so good?"
She smiled and said. "I once was a girl scout."
Then I said. "Well, will you be a nice girl scout and kindly untie me now?"
She laughed and said. "No way," and then pointed the electric razor at my chest.
I said. "Honey, wait, just wait, let me explain this to you. Only weight lifters shave their chests."
But as I talked I felt the electric razor on my stomach. I pulled at the rope to get free, but it was futile.
I said. "Please? Dont," as the electric razor was now running by my naval.
Then I said. "At least don't shave any further than my stomach."
She just laughed and said. "See, this is why I had to tie you up."