"It's the ideal woman."

"I'll tell Gloria Steinem on you."

"She won't care."

"I'll tell Andrea."

"Tattletale! If you tell my sister, I'll stop rubbing your feet."

"I knew male chauvinists were stupid. I'm not going to tell her until after you've rubbed my feet. Anyway, once upon a time you would have noticed that more than my feet were bare."

"I do notice. But people don't say: 'bare-torsoed and pregnant.' Can't think why. You do have cute feet..."

"Swollen with a gallon of water."

"Not noticeable from here, but I'll rub your ankles in a second. But they aren't your best feature."

"Mmmm. Maybe I won't tell your sister after all. Husbands do have their uses. Of course, it's all your fault anyway."

"Axiomatically."

"My feet wouldn't be so tired if I hadn't let you talk me into this."

"Using euphemisms in front of the baby are we? 'Pardon us son, your mother and I have to have a little talk.'"

"I think that he notices. I really think that he notices. Oh!"

"Let me. Are you sure that you wouldn't consider 'Pele.' It fits."

"I think you have been encouraging him."

"Right. I take him off to these secret conversations while you aren't around. Anyway, he's settled down. I'll take my way back to your ankle..."

"You could go directly, you know."

"No I couldn't. The scenic route is so attractive that I couldn't resist. Now, here, for example,..."

"No way, Jose. I want my foot rub first."

"All right ... I do enjoy them, it's just that there are other activities..."

"And if a foot rub would wear you out, I'd take the other instead. At least, some nights. Mmmm, hmmm; you do that well."

"You used to say that I did the other well, as well. But you do have a point."

"So do you."

"Hey! No fair. If you tease the animal, I'm not going to try to keep him under control."

"As if you ever did. That does feel good, but you are going to hate me."

"Go right ahead. How you can complain of retaining water, I'll never know."

"Mystery of the universe. Wait for me."

"I suppose the foot rub has to start all over."

"No. But a minute's back rub would be nice."

"There, now is milady totally satisfied?"

"No."

"What is it now? I would like to get to the main event sometime tonight.

"That's just it. Now I want a kiss."

"Can't be done; they come in packages of six. Roll over."

"Easier said than done. Cheaper by the dozen?"

"Definitely! Mmmm. That's one. Mmmmum. That's two. Mmmum. That's three. Mmmm. That's two."

"Lost count?"

"Don't think so. Where do you think I kissed on kiss two?"

"My right breast."

"And that's what I said. Mmrrrm. The more of you to kiss ... Ouch. That was my nose, dammit."

"You kept encouraging him when it was only me!"

"Well, I'll just have to duck under his punches. Let's see, hmmm..."

"Ohhh. That is better than a foot rub."

"One reason that you get foot rubs, you know, is that it affords me a perfect view of the most beautiful sight in the world. I love your lovely cunt. Mmmm."

"How you could when I'm in this shape ... Yes, dear. Yes, Gil. Yes? Ohhh! ... Yesss!"

"Side?"

"Please..."

"If you don't believe that your cunt is lovely, you're never going to believe me about the back of your neck. But it is. Mmmm. That's four. Mmm, five. Mmm."

"Could you stop counting and come in me now?"

"Okay. Help me. Ease back. There. I love you."

"I love you, too. Love what you do to me. Love how you feel in me ... Oh, Gil!"

"Easy, sweet. Easy. Let me. Oh, darling. Oh Christ! Fuck! Fuck! Ungh! Ugh! Uh! Uh.

"You?"

"Yes, Gil. I'm fine. But feel."

"Sorry kid. Must have been a rough ride, but you'll understand some day."

"Do you think that I squeezed him too hard? The doctor said I wouldn't, but I can't see how."

"Nah. Remember the diagram. You were squeezing me not him. Probably didn't like the hot shower. Which reminds me ... Is the washcloth too rough?"

"No. You are very gentle. Did you get it all?"

"Seems I never do. He's still thumping. Should I get the light."

"One of us should."

"It's in the other room, after all. I'll get it if you promise not to tell Andrea."

"Deal."

"Is it too hot for a hug?"

"Really it is, but I'd like one anyway."

"The perfect woman. You can have my hand. How far did I get with my kisses?"

"I think it was eleven. Mmmm. Good night, Daddy."

"Good night, Mommy. Together now:"

"Good night, Son."