Trash Bash

by Cadis Fly

Tags: Science Fiction, Humor,

Desc: : Don't you just hate it when someone is throwing garbage on your land and you can't catch them or stop them.

Damn it! I wish whoever is throwing their garbage on my roof would stop it! What gives them the right to do whatever they want? This is my home, my castle, my love nest, my family's abode... not someone's trash heap!

Here I was in the middle of intense love making, just about ready to give my mate all my seed and I heard a loud crash over my head. Boy, when you're suddenly startled like that, everything shrinks pretty damn fast. I was pissed. This was not the first time something had landed onto my roof. This was not the first time something has interrupted our mating dance. Damn it, if I ever find out who the litter bug is, I'll kick ass.

This all started more than 18 years ago. My father was outside, on the surface, looking for minerals when this light fell from the sky. He was just bending over to look at a rock and this thing whizzed over his head and fell in front of him. He was lucky it never hit him or he would have been flattened. He had always told everyone about the times he had seen strange lights in the sky. This was the first time one of these lights had landed. My father picked up the "light" with his special tongs and discovered that it was very hot and full of minerals and metals. He also noticed that it had cooled down and it was just a lump now. He decided that he had finally struck it rich. The lump was recycled into a myriad of minerals and metals. Our family was rich, really rich. No one laughed at my father's stories anymore.

You are not going to believe what happened about seven days later. My father was almost hit again. He couldn't believe his luck. Our family was now, not really rich, but stinking rich. My father spent some of our wealth to buy up all the land around our house for 500 kilometers and laid claim to all the mineral and metal rights. Everyone was now watching the skies for more of the precious lights. If everything happened as it had the last two times, we would have more lumps on our property soon.

Oh well, the best laid plans don't always pan out. Nothing else fell from the sky that year. My parents decided to retire in the north country. The north had a more temperate climate and much more water. They would be able to spend their last days in luxury.

I was the oldest, so our family home and land were transferred to me. It was now my responsibility to find a mate and produce the next generation of our family. Being a rich Batchelor helped. Fathers from all over the world were knocking at my door. Of course all the fathers thought they had the most beautiful, fertile, and demure daughters for me to wed. I felt like a piece of meat.

To make the story short, I decided on accepting the daughter of the next land owner. I had known her as long as we had lived here. We had grown up together and were friends. When we both hit puberty, we were the first for each other. The decision to take her as my mate just seemed a natural progression in our relationship.

About three months into the second year of my ownership, we heard a large crash on our roof. I ran outside to see what had happened and found another lump. Damn, this one landed on our heads. Okay, we were more the rich now, but enough is enough. This lump could have killed us. We were lucky that our roof was 10 meters thick or this lump would have done serious damage. Oh, did I mention, we live underground? The surface of our world is too inhospitable for anyone to live on, so we don't. Four days later, another lump landed in our north quadrant. Did they always come in pairs? Our scientists could not explain nor determine why the lights were falling from the sky.

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Story tagged with:
Science Fiction / Humor /