Three days, two days... Yipeeeeee it's Friday time to grab the case and head for the airport for the last time this year. Finally, the Christmas holidays had arrived and Bob would soon be back in England relaxing with his family. It had been another hard year for him, travelling back and forth to Belgium every week to work in that strange country, constantly living out of a suitcase he was tiring of this gypsy lifestyle but next year he would sort it all out and things would be better. Christmas Day quickly arrived and as his young son dragged him downstairs and he saw the look of surprise and joy on his face as he ripped open his presents he knew that it had all been worth it.
Later that morning he loaded the family into his Jag and they sped off to eat Christmas Dinner with the rest of their family. There was great excitement in the house as everyone greeted each other and exchanged gifts, then it was time to sit down and eat. They had a fine feast of turkey and all the trimmings with plenty of good wine and the children were all pulling Christmas crackers, telling jokes and making all the adults wear the silly paper hats. By three o'clock the meal was over and everyone sat around the TV to listen to the Queen's Speech. Bob made himself comfy in a big arm chair, he had drank plenty of red wine and was feeling a little sleepy after the big meal. As the Queen wished her subjects Merry Christmas Bob's eyelids began to droop and soon he was dozing into another world where he had been invited to a very different kind of Christmas Dinner Party...
The invitation card said STRICTLY ADULTS ONLY and dress was formal. Bob, wearing his DJ and bow-tie, looked very dapper. The guests were shown into a large dining hall with a long table beautifully decorated in traditional Christmas style and a big log fire burned cosily at one side. Places were set for ten and the hostess had seated everyone in a male/female/male/female sequence. Everyone was served with champagne to start the evening with a fizz. Bob glanced around, all the women looked beautiful in their revealing evening gowns. Husbands and wives were well separated at the dinner table and Bob found himself sat between an exotic brunette in a tight black dress with a split up to the thigh and a buxom blonde also in a sexy black dress with a tight bodice that pushed her ample busoms up so high that her nipples were almost protruding. For once in his life he didn't know quite where to put his hands, if he put them under the table he knew he would be tempted to reach over and rest his hand on the stocking-clad thigh provocatively revealed by the brunette... Yet if he rested his hands on the table he knew he would want to grab the ample boobs of the blonde as she rubbed up against his jacket to whisper into his ear, mmmm he wanted to see those nipples pop out of the dress.
His dilemma was solved as the first course was served. The food was magnificent and the wine flowed freely with each course. Then the Christmas pudding was carried in and the lights were turned off and the candelabras lit on the table and everyone cheered as the pudding was set alight. As the candles flickered and cast twitchy shadows on the walls the meal came to an end, brandy and cigars were served to the men and sherry and truffles to the women.
Then the highlight of the evening came as a butler walked in carrying a large silver tray with ten large Christmas Crackers piled on it. The hostess walked over and placed a cracker in front of each guest. The crackers were to be opened one by one and each one contained a handwritten note (replacing the usual silly jokes) instructing the recipient what to do with the contents of their cracker and instead of paper hats there were multi-coloured condoms to be used liberally at the end of the evening.