Copyright © 08-20-2002 by E. J. Sheeran. All rights reserved. This work, in part, or whole, is not to be distributed, reproduced, transmitted or posted, in any manner, without the express written permission of the author.
The following scenes and conversations take place aboard an alien spacecraft, hovering in one of our Southern states over a small university, The Florida Universal Center for Knowledge, (FUCK U). It is early Friday evening and the spacecraft has rendered itself invisible by applying a visual-scrambling technique to bend light waves that is unknown on earth. With the use of special electronics, members of the spacecraft's crew are able to observe the people in the dorm buildings below. Although the conversations are in alienese, they have been loosely translated into English for the readers benefit. Alien No. 1 is the leader or Captain of the spaceship and is the eldest and most knowledgeable member aboard. Alien No. 2 and the rest of the crew are fairly naive and a little younger than the captain.
Alien No 2. "What in the world are they doing, my Captain? Are they cleaning each other like the animal you called a cat we saw yesterday? Why does that one unit have a great piece of flesh sticking out from between his legs? It must be very dirty. Look at how the other unit is licking it clean."
Alien NO 1. "I'm not quite sure but I think that the one with the great protrusion is the male of the species."
Alien No 2. "I think that the smaller unit with the long hair is hurting the one you call the male. It has the entire piece of meat in its mouth and the male is moaning and groaning as if it is going to die. Oh look, now there is long white stringy stuff squirting out of the piece of flesh. The other unit is smearing it all over its body as if it were some sort of a lotion. That looks like a gooey mess to me. Well, whatever happened it looks like it's over. I think the male unit is going to sleep; at least, it is laying down on the bed."
Alien No 1. "I don't think it's over. The longhaired unit is crawling up on the bed and look; now it is sitting on the big unit's face. Look at that, now the male unit is cleaning the other one with its tongue. Something has happened to its piece of flesh. It had shrunk away to almost nothing but now it is growing big again. I think the longhaired unit is like us, a female. See the slit between her legs that the other one is licking? The tongue cleansing must feel pretty good to her the way she is wiggling around."
Alien No 2. "Well, it's over now for sure. The female is getting off the big ones face. OH MY GOODNESS! What happened? She sat on the piece of meat and it disappeared all the way up inside her. It must not have hurt her too bad, she is smiling, her eyes are closed and she has a dreamy look on her face, rocking back and forth like that."
Alien No 1. "Now I remember! They are mating. I read about it in one of our obscure history books. Many eons ago, when there were both males and females on our planet, they mated just like those two are doing to produce offspring. There is a rumor that these units are descended from us. Many thousands of years ago, one of our ships left some of our people here on this planet. Then, the scientists on our planet discovered how to clone people and slowly our obstinate males were deemed redundant and unnecessary and were allowed to die out. That is why there are only females on our world now."
Alien No 2. "Well, it certainly makes sense to reproduce by cloning and not the way they are doing it. I wouldn't want that big thing inside me. I don't think I could stretch that far and it looks like it would hurt. What would happen if you had to pee while it was in you? Besides, it looks messy. Look at the slimy stuff all over both of them."
Alien No 1. "The book said that it was quite enjoyable and that if the males hadn't been so dreadful we would have kept them around just for that purpose and besides that, they were said to be handy for heavy work and killing things. See; look at her, she likes it very much. Look at the way she is bouncing up and down on the male. I know I like it when I touch my breasts the same as it is doing to her. For some strange reason I am getting a funny, warm feeling in my lower body."
Alien No 2. "Look over there in that other room! There is another male. It is hurting it's piece of meat. I think it is trying to strangle it or jerk it out by the roots. I never saw anyone's hand move that fast. Now, that's better, it slowed down but look how bad it is hurt. Its eyes are closed and it is moaning. OH! There is that white goop again, but it is just letting it go to waste. I have an idea. Let's bring one of the males aboard and give it a good inspection. I would like some of that cream if it is good for your skin."
Alien No 1. "I don't think we should do that. Our instructions were to watch and learn all we can about them without having any unnecessary contact."
Alien No 2. "Nonsense, we could bring one on the ship, cloud its mind, test it, put it back and nobody would never know it was here. Besides, I want to look at its protuberance up close. It looks like it would be a handy thing to hold onto and I would like to try to sit on it."
Alien No 1. "OK, but which one. I don't like that one, the one with the hair on its face. I would prefer one with breasts but none of them have both breasts and a projection. I don't want one covered with cloth either. There is a nice one over there, the one that is standing in that little cell under the running water."
Alien No 2. "That is alright but its skin flap is not as big as the others and it is just hanging down, not sticking out like the one with the female. It looks too flabby to sit on. Look! She is cleaning that other one again."
Alien No 1. "Alright, set the capture device to bring the wet one aboard and I will find the computer language translation program so we can talk to and understand it."
Fifteen Minutes Later
Alien No 1. "Well, I see you captured it. Make sure it is strapped tight to that dissection table; I wouldn't want it to get loose. It looks like it is very strong. Has it said anything yet?"
Alien No 2. "Yes, when I woke it up, it started yelling something but our computer doesn't understand a lot of it. It kept calling me a mother something or other and wanted to know who in the hell we were. It also wanted to know why we were not wearing clothes and why we didn't have any hair except on our head. Just before I put it asleep again, it calmed down a little and asked me if I was a woman. It said I was pretty and the table was cold."
Alien No 1. "Wake it up again and let me speak to it. By the way, I think it is called a he."
Alien No 2. "Hello again, male unit. This is my captain. She wants to talk to you. Are you all right?"
Male unit. "What the fuck is going on! Who are you motherfuckers? Let me up? Why do you have me strapped down here? I'm going to kick somebody's ass. Where are we and what do you want with me? Why are you all naked? Are you some sort of perverts? Cover me up! Tell her to quit fondling my cock!"
Alien No 1. "Easy now. We will not hurt you and I will answer all of your questions in due course. In the meantime, we need to know a little about you. Are you male, a man? How are you called?"
Male unit. "How am I called? Oh, you mean my name? I am Richard but most people call me Dick."
Alien No 1. "You are a Dick?"
Male unit. "No, no, I am a man and my name is Dick. A Dick is... never mind. You are a woman aren't you? What is your name?"
Alien No 1. "Yes, I am a woman and my name is Rennis. This other woman unit is named Protus. I am Captain Rennis and she is First Mate Protus."
Alien No 2. "I am happy to meet you Dick. What is this great piece of flesh between your legs? It is very nice and soft and pleasing to my hand. I notice that it has swollen a little. What is it called?"
Male unit. "It is my dick -- ah -- cock. Haven't you ever seen a man before? Where in the hell did you come from?"
Alien No 1. "We are from Garrnd, a planet in a far away galaxy. There are no male units on our planet."
Male unit. "Well, what do you want with me and why is she fondling my cock like that? She is going to make me get a hard on."
Alien No 2. "Look Captain, I think something is happening to it! It is just as big as the other one we saw earlier. Feel how firm it is. I think I could sit on it now."
.... There is more of this story ...