My roommate Tom and I are doing postgraduate work in biochemistry for a notable Professor. The work is interesting but time consuming, we both hope to get our doctorate and a good job in some pharmaceuticals lab. We like girls though and would like sex now and again, but we can't seem find the time to establish a relationship with anyone. We were talking about this one night, in our room, when I said.
"Look Tom, we're both experts in biochemistry, surely we can discover a aphrodisiac or something that we could use on the local female population, you know, for sex without going though some time consuming courtship ritual."
"You would thinks so, but I wouldn't know where to start, not my area of expertise," replied Tom.
"Nor mine I'm afraid," I said, "but what we could do is see if any students in the past has done any research on the subject."
"Great idea," said Tom enthusiastically, "I'm better at this sort of thing than you, I'll pop into the library tomorrow."
Tom kept me up to date after every session he had wading through years of dusty theses, but it took some weeks before he came up with something.
"Look John," he said excitedly, "I found this paper, done in the sixties, nothing to do with aphrodisiac or anything related, but this guy was studying Bat Eared Moth's life cycle, and he was trying to isolate the pheromones the males produced to attract the female moth when his work was suddenly stopped."
"Why? What happened?" I asked.
"Well it seemed that two women assistance he was using came over all peculiar," Tom said with a smile.
"Tell me more," I said, "this sounds interesting."
"Well the paper doesn't say the two girls were sexually excited or anything, but get this, and I quote. 'The research was cancelled on the orders of the Dean, due to some unnatural side effects observed in the female staff.' "With this being the sixties and all, the only things I can think of to make the Dean cancel, would be sex," Tom added.
"Ok, you've convinced me Tom," I said, "but can we repeat that research?"
"Sure easy, it just basic chemistry," replied Tom.
"Good, lets get cracking just as soon as we can find a free minute," I said with a big smile.
It was fairly easy, all the kit and chemicals were readily available from the university stock, it just took time to set up. It resulted in a clear liquid that had no affect on our female lab assistant. We used as a delivery method a glass of red wine, that we had added the clear liquid to, after making sure that that our concoction was non-toxic of course. So it's was back to the drawing board, in this case the original paper to see what we had missed.
"Perhaps these girls were affected during the distillation process and not by the end product, Tom suggested, "it could be a by-product that was being released."
"Could be Tom," I said, "but how do we find out."
"That's easy," said Tom, "we test at each stage of the process and see what being made."
"This looks interesting," Tom said a few days later, "we have a complex organic molecule being generated here, this could be it," he sounded excited.
Two more weeks and we had it, a very unstable gas that breaks down quickly in water, or in the water vapour in the atmosphere. It could be stored in alcohol with the molecule being held in suspension by a hydrogen bond. This bond was easily broken by a rise in temperature to about 18 degrees C, and then the gas would be released into the atmosphere. Total time to complete breakdown in air was about 15 seconds.
Now for a new trial, this proved again disappointing, the gas did work, but only in a limited way. Our test subject, again the same lab assistant, a pretty under graduate who would come in now and again to clear up our mess. We exposed her to our gas, now called 'Bat Dropping' after the original research, using the same delivery method as we had before; she did became mildly affected, but she quickly excused herself to go and meet with her boyfriend; so not a complete failure. What we need now was a new molecule, similar to this one, but would make her so excited that she didn't care whom she did it with.
I made the breakthrough some weeks later, it was indeed a similar molecule but handed differently, that means it had a left handed shape and not right. Plus it had an extra hydrogen bond. This meant it was even more unstable with water, about 50% or so, but still ok with alcohol; so no sex in the rain.
We named this one 'Bats Breath' and it worked a treat. Our poor under graduate student got roped in again. This time we had a great couple of hours with her. I took a bottle of red wine out of the lab fridge.
"Would you like to join us again in a glass?" I asked Helen as I poured out three glasses. She was getting used to drinking wine with us now.
"Oh yes thank you, I must be getting a taste for it," she said, "the other night it made me all mellow," she added with a laugh.
.... There is more of this story ...