I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. -- Groucho Marx
Mike was watering his front lawn on a warm lazy Saturday morning when a U-Haul truck pulled up two doors down the street. A young couple got out and started moving boxes into the house. He watched for a few minute thinking to himself, I'm as lazy as any guy on a warm lazy Saturday. I should mind my own business. But the spirit of neighborliness overcame his lethargy and he decided to volunteer. He wandered down the street as the girl was walking back to the truck. She was a pixie, short hair, small everywhere with a cute face.
"Hi. I'm Mike. I live there," pointing down the street to his house. "Thought I'd volunteer to give you a hand."
"No really. I think we can do it," she answered.
"Be easier with three," he said.
She thought for a second and then answered, "Ok. My name's Susie McDougall."
"Nice to meet you Susie," as Mike grabbed a box and headed up the walk thinking that name sounded vaguely familiar but unable to place it. Susie grabbed a box and followed.
The neighborhood was an older one just south of the downtown area with most of the houses built in the thirties. They were small, usually owner built places which made sense having been built during the depression. Mike's was a typical of the neighborhood, a small two-bedroom place. As he entered their house he looked around while setting the box down in the middle of the front room. The house was also cozy but enough for a young couple.
The guy emerged right then and Susie said, "Mike, this is Leah," who extended her hand. They shook hands while Mike looked closely trying to seem like he wasn't looking staring. He realized that she might indeed be female but she sure looked like a man. No facial hair was the only tip off. She wore her hair in a mannish cut, a loose flannel shirt and jeans and boots. Diesel, Mike thought.
"Welcome to the neighborhood. I think you'll like it here," he said. He looked around the place. It was a single bedroom craftsman-style house, maybe eight hundred square feet. And these two girls were going to be living here. Just one bedroom and one bed, he thought. His gaydar turned on full power. They had to be a lipstick and diesel carpet munchers. Too bad because Susie was one hot looking lady.
He helped them unload the rest of the truck. After they had finished unloading, Leah offered Mike a beer. The three of them sat and talked while Leah and Mike chugged their beers. Leah and Susie had moved out to California for the more congenial atmosphere to their lifestyle. Susie was some kind of writer but they got vague when Mike asked about it. Mike finished his beer and headed home as they thanked him for helping.
The evening he was still pondering these new neighbors as he was perusing the ASSM newsgroup. He pulled up a story by Susie McDougall, a nice Female Female romance story. The penny dropped. That would explain the reticence to discuss her writing.
He didn't see them for a few days. On Friday, Susie was out front and Mike stopped to say hello. She looked frazzled from the move and getting situated in a new job and whatever else was going on so he invited them over for dinner. Susie demurred but allowed herself to be coaxed into coming over at seven with Leah. Mike went home, printed out one of Susie's stories and put it on the front table with the title and author bolded and prominently displayed.
When they showed up he watched surreptitiously as they walked past the table. Susie's eyes wandered down to the table, locked onto the title and then glanced guiltily up. Bingo. Mike smiled and nodded as she blushed.
Over dinner and wine followed by after dinner port the three of them got a little loose. Finally Susie broached the subject of the story. "I saw a story on the front table."
He smiled and said, "Yeah. And I saw you blush when you recognized the title. A guilty blush I would say."
She started to say something and then stopped. "How did you know?"
Mike admitted, "I thought I recognized your name and when I put two and two together and thought maybe, just maybe you were the real Susie McDougall." She nodded. "I like your stories even though I'm really hetero."
She asked, "Thank you. It's not often I get feedback from a reader who is flesh and blood. I just wish more readers would write back." She paused and then looked at Mike quizzically, "What do you mean, really hetero?"
He took another sip of his port and in his best pedantic and slightly tipsy voice said, "Everyone is bi. It's just a continuum. Some people are way to the Homo side and some are way to the Hetero side, but everyone is bi to some degree. Leah's real diesel but still bi."
Leah sat up straight and jumped in, "No way."
Susie giggled and said, "Yes you are, you'd like a big dick just like you like our toy." It was quickly becoming apparent that Susie was juiced. Mike nearly spit his port all over his shirt. He started to laugh until he realized that Leah was getting mad. She saw the port dribbling over his chin and the anger evaporated as she started to laugh as well.
Laughing she countered, "But it's rubber." She finished, "Doesn't count."
Mike laughed as he rubbed the port off his chin and said, "Does too."
Leah folded her arms and said, "Prove it that I'm bi."
He responded, "Prove it that you're not bi."
"No way," she said. "You're just a sick pervert," with a half-tipsy lilt to her voice.
"Guilty," he answered.
At this point, Susie decided to throw gasoline on the smoldering coals, "Then you two ought to get along just fine," to Leah as her eyes got wide. Mike tried to stifle the laughs but that only made it worse. Susie joined in and Leah started to laugh as well.
Mike said, "It's a good thing we're all drunk so we won't remember this tomorrow."
Leah stopped laughing and said, "Nope. I'm going to remember and prove you wrong." The conversation went on to other topics before they decided that morning was coming early these days.
A couple weeks later Mike had them over for dinner again. As he offered wine Leah said, "No wine for Susie."
Susie loudly harrumphed and said, "I'll take that wine thank you very much." Looking at Leah she said, "Maybe I'm going to embarrass you again."
Discretion being a virtue Mike tried to change the subject, "Let's have dinner."
Dinner was lively but tame compared to the prior week and he was feeling relaxed as they retired to the living room. Mike poured the ladies some port. He looked at Leah as he poured for Susie but Leah actually didn't seem to mind. Susie was again feeling no pain when she said, "How come men are so concerned with big dicks? How big are you?"
Mike blushed and Leah laughed. "You started this last time. It's your turn on the hot seat. Anyway, don't blush. It doesn't matter to us."
Caught off guard and under the influence of the wine and port he blustered, "Bullshit. If you like a dildo, you'd love a real live cock."
Leah stammered, "No way!"
"Yeah, way," he said. "It would feel more natural and warm instead of cold. You could use a guy just the same way you use a sex toy."
"Why not? What difference if your sex toy happens to be attached to a guy? You could still be doing each other just using a real one is all."
Leah grimaced like she was tasting vinegar but Susie looked thoughtful. "Let's just say the thought makes me ill," says Leah. That killed the topic for the evening. They decided to take on the politicians instead of sex for the evening. Lively certainly, but not as much fun.
As Mike lay in bed after they had gone home he kept seeing the thoughtful look on Susie's face. What did it mean? His dreams that night were restless and quite strange.
Mike saw Leah and Susie on and off over the next couple weeks. They'd smile and wave or shout hello so he figured they were still on speaking terms with him. One Friday evening as he pulled into the driveway Susie, who was standing out front watering their lawn, motioned him to come down.
"Hi," she responded. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"
"Nothing important," he answered.
"We owe you a dinner," she said.
"No," he shook his head. "You don't owe me..."
Nodding vigorously she cut him off, "Yes, we do. No arguing. Dinner tomorrow at seven."
He nodded and said, "Yes Ma'am. Dinner at seven. What can I bring?"
"Nothing. Just be here at seven."
Mike showed up at seven with a bottle of Merlot.
"I told you nothing," Susie said as he handed her the bottle.
"Ok, it's nothing."
She gave him a look but took the wine and answered, "Thank you. You are thoughtful."
He shrugged and followed her into the kitchen. Leah was finishing up dinner. After exchanging hellos Mike volunteered to help get dinner on the table.
Susie lit candles and turned down the lights. Fresh flowers were in the center of the table. The candlelight cast a soft romantic glow over the room. He was surprised at the intimacy of the dinner. Susie and Leah shared looks and Susie's eyes invited him into the soft intimacy of the conversation. Their voices were low, almost throaty. Unsure, but drawn irresistibly on, he watched as Susie and Leah exchanged whole conversations with a single glance. He didn't know what was being communicated but he could see it happening. Susie looked his way, smiled then dropped her eyes and blushed.
"Ok, let me in on the secret," he said.
.... There is more of this story ...