Life is full of choices. Decisions are made every day. Some are good, well thought through, smart decisions and then There are times we make hasty, wrong decisions. Oh, at the time it may have seemed wise but in the end, it's easy to look back and see what poor judgment was used. If more thought were put into it, the decision made would have been different.
Somehow we must adjust to the choices we make in life. Good or bad, right or wrong; we choose our own path. Or perhaps, we allow ourselves to be influenced by others. However influenced, the final choice is our responsibility. We have to live with the path we've chosen, that's what life is all about, finding our way. Stumbling around in the dark trying to make out the shadows lurking around every corner before they grab hold of us. It's not always easy. Things can happen out of our control. Of course, you could always give up control; to no longer be responsible, allowing someone else to make the decisions for you. Would that be considered the easy way out? Who would willingly give up control?
I met Calvin my freshman year of college, the end of the winter quarter. My college roommate, Sandy and some of her friends invited me to tag along with them to a near by pub. Normally, I enjoy my Saturday nights having the dorm all to myself. Something I never had the opportunity to do at home, coming from a large family full of noisy sisters and brothers. I enjoy curling up reading a romantic novel. I especially love reading novels that took me far away from life's normal reality, a story where I could become kidnapped or pretended be the stranded female in need of saving and the center of attention. The opportunity to meet a prince, the man of my dreams, knight in shining armor, since I feared I'd never meet any in real life. I was a little comprehensive to go at first since I just purchased a book that I wanted to dive right into but finally agreed to go out with them. Sandy was right; it had been too long since our last girl's night out. I needed to be more social and stop being a bookworm.
We found an empty table on the other side of the dance floor, which was extremely crowded. We sat down and a waiter came over to take our orders. I was planning on just ordering a soft drink but Sandy winked at me and ordered two Blue Lagoons, knowing I'd love to lick the sweet blue sugar from the glass rim.
The music changed to a faster beat, giggling the girls rushed to the dance floor. Sandy held out her hand for me to go dance with them, but I shook my head and remained seated. I wasn't much of a dancer, especially in a public place. I was shy, lack of confidence and was a much better listener and people watcher.
I looked around the pub as I sipped my drink, wondering how much blue dye from the sugar stained my lips and teeth. I suddenly found myself meeting eyes with a guy in the back corner of the room. I stared for a few seconds then immediately turn away from him, embarrassed. His image was instantly burnt into my memory, as if I'd seen him millions of times before. As I closed my eyes, I could still see him and the darkness in his eyes. The attraction was so strong between us in just one glance; I didn't even realize I was holding my breath. I gasped for air and felt a cold shiver run through my body.
He was dressed all in black, with coal black hair and the darkest eyes I had ever seen. He scared me, and yet, he fascinated me. I couldn't overcome the temptation to glance at him again. I slowly turned my head his direction again but his chair was now empty.
Fearfully, I glanced around the room to locate him but he was nowhere to be found. My heart sank with disappointment and I sipped on my drink until it was gone, setting the empty glass on the table.
The waiter approached, I thought to retrieve the empty glass and see if I wanted another drink, but instead he slipped me a note with a smile. Waiting till the waiter was out of my sight, I opened the paper up and read it. Meet me on the patio, signed... Calvin.
I walked over to Sandy on the dance floor with the other girls.
"Where is the patio?" I asked her.
"It's through the next room in the back of the building. But Tonya, it is only open in the warm weather," she tried to finish her words, as I was walking away. I made my way through the crowd. Pushed on the glass door, it opened. As the cool night wind blew, I wrapped my coat tighter around me.
I stepped out onto the cement pad and noticed a path had been shoveled clear of the snow. I followed the path around the corner of the building and in front of me was a table with a vase of roses and several burning candles. I smiled and bent down to smell the roses. Upon straighten back up, I felt a hand on my shoulder turning me around, then a hand covered my mouth quickly. I didn't even have time to gasp. One hand was on my neck holding me firm and almost on tiptoe toes. My eyes grew wide with fear. I froze, as I once again looked deeply into the strangers' dark eyes. I wasn't afraid he would hurt me, was I? No, I assured myself I wasn't. I was afraid of how I sensed he could read my thought and learn my innermost secrets. Secrets I never thought I would ever reveal to another living person.
His eyes seemed to burn holes through me, heating me up from the cold outside elements. I found myself getting so turned on; my breasts pointed out through my shirt and unfastened coat. Just as I had these thoughts, he glanced down at them; first one breast and then the next, and back to meet my eyes once more. How my body longed for him to caress my breast. They ached to be touched and fondled by him.
When he was sure he had my full attention, he began to speak to me, almost in a whisper. "Your eyes, your body has already spoken to me. They urge me to do things you've only dreamed about. Your secret desires and your fantasies can become... reality. All you have to do is surrender them to me. Do you think you can trust me?" he asked.
Slowly I shook my head, yes unable to answer verbally with his hand still clasped over my mouth. My heart trusted him the moment our eyes met inside the pub. My body surrendered to him instantly, it was my brain fighting it.
"Listen very carefully to me. I want you to be my pet. To be pampered, loved and taken care of in more ways than you can imagine. Your every need would be provided for. You would not be hurt, but you must obey and surrender your will to me, to learn to trust and depend on me completely. It would not happen overnight, it requires a long journey, but in the end, you will be pleased with your accomplishments. I know this is something you want. Do not deny it. It excites you to turn over control," he smiled.
"First, I need to know it is your choice, your decision to make. If you chose to turn and leave, you are free to go." As he released his grasp on me, I felt my head spinning. I blamed it on the drink. I slowly shook my head up and down with my eyes never leaving his.
"Yes," I whispered softly.
Did I just answer him? Was that my voice saying yes? This guy was a stranger, I didn't even know him, my inner voice was screaming stop but I answered with my heart, not my head. My mind kept objecting, but my body was screaming, YES! Take me and do whatever you want with me. I'm yours totally.
He put his hands on both sides of my face. Holding my cheeks tightly, he kissed me deeply. I closed my eyes and felt in a dreamy state. I felt like melted butter in his hands. My knees were weak and I worried I might fall down if he removed his hands to quickly. I didn't fall however when he reached over and put the candles out. He handed me the roses from the vase.
"Go back inside now and tell your girlfriends, you ran into an old friend. He will bring you back, after your visit.
I obeyed him; my feet moving as instructed as if in a trance. I found Sandy still on the dance floor and repeated the words Calvin spoke to me mindlessly. She kissed me good-bye on the cheek and I smiled without showing my confusion, the battle going on inside me between mind and body.
Outside, Calvin stood waiting for me. We walked silently to his car. He opened the car door and after a heavy breath, I got in. He drove a short distance from the pub, we could have walked in warmer weather it was so close. I felt a little safer, knowing if something happened, I could always run back to Sandy!
It was a small apartment, nothing fancy but it was tidy and he lived alone. I don't know what I expected, a castle maybe? He took my coat and offered me a drink. I declined the drink, wanting to keep my wits about me. He fixed himself one and then walked into the living room where I was standing. He did not ask me to sit down so I remained standing, looking around.
He sat down in the leather chair in the corner.
"Strip dance for me," he said calmly.
"What?" I replied, thrown off guard, not sure I heard him correctly.
"You heard me, I didn't stutter." He knew I didn't dance with my friends at the pub. He was testing me and I flunked with flying colors.
"Just strip for me. I want to see your body naked."
I nervously bit my lip debating what to do. This certainly wasn't what I expected to hear from him. He got up from the chair and stood in front of me.
"Come now. At your age you have been naked in front of a man before?" he asked.
I shook my head up and down, unable to speak.
"Well then, what's the problem?"
.... There is more of this story ...