Life is full of choices. Decisions are made every day. Some are good, well thought through, smart decisions and then There are times we make hasty, wrong decisions. Oh, at the time it may have seemed wise but in the end, it's easy to look back and see what poor judgment was used. If more thought were put into it, the decision made would have been different.
Somehow we must adjust to the choices we make in life. Good or bad, right or wrong; we choose our own path. Or perhaps, we allow ourselves to be influenced by others. However influenced, the final choice is our responsibility. We have to live with the path we've chosen, that's what life is all about, finding our way. Stumbling around in the dark trying to make out the shadows lurking around every corner before they grab hold of us. It's not always easy. Things can happen out of our control. Of course, you could always give up control; to no longer be responsible, allowing someone else to make the decisions for you. Would that be considered the easy way out? Who would willingly give up control?
I met Calvin my freshman year of college, the end of the winter quarter. My college roommate, Sandy and some of her friends invited me to tag along with them to a near by pub. Normally, I enjoy my Saturday nights having the dorm all to myself. Something I never had the opportunity to do at home, coming from a large family full of noisy sisters and brothers. I enjoy curling up reading a romantic novel. I especially love reading novels that took me far away from life's normal reality, a story where I could become kidnapped or pretended be the stranded female in need of saving and the center of attention. The opportunity to meet a prince, the man of my dreams, knight in shining armor, since I feared I'd never meet any in real life. I was a little comprehensive to go at first since I just purchased a book that I wanted to dive right into but finally agreed to go out with them. Sandy was right; it had been too long since our last girl's night out. I needed to be more social and stop being a bookworm.
We found an empty table on the other side of the dance floor, which was extremely crowded. We sat down and a waiter came over to take our orders. I was planning on just ordering a soft drink but Sandy winked at me and ordered two Blue Lagoons, knowing I'd love to lick the sweet blue sugar from the glass rim.
The music changed to a faster beat, giggling the girls rushed to the dance floor. Sandy held out her hand for me to go dance with them, but I shook my head and remained seated. I wasn't much of a dancer, especially in a public place. I was shy, lack of confidence and was a much better listener and people watcher.
I looked around the pub as I sipped my drink, wondering how much blue dye from the sugar stained my lips and teeth. I suddenly found myself meeting eyes with a guy in the back corner of the room. I stared for a few seconds then immediately turn away from him, embarrassed. His image was instantly burnt into my memory, as if I'd seen him millions of times before. As I closed my eyes, I could still see him and the darkness in his eyes. The attraction was so strong between us in just one glance; I didn't even realize I was holding my breath. I gasped for air and felt a cold shiver run through my body.
He was dressed all in black, with coal black hair and the darkest eyes I had ever seen. He scared me, and yet, he fascinated me. I couldn't overcome the temptation to glance at him again. I slowly turned my head his direction again but his chair was now empty.
Fearfully, I glanced around the room to locate him but he was nowhere to be found. My heart sank with disappointment and I sipped on my drink until it was gone, setting the empty glass on the table.
The waiter approached, I thought to retrieve the empty glass and see if I wanted another drink, but instead he slipped me a note with a smile. Waiting till the waiter was out of my sight, I opened the paper up and read it. Meet me on the patio, signed... Calvin.
I walked over to Sandy on the dance floor with the other girls.
"Where is the patio?" I asked her.
"It's through the next room in the back of the building. But Tonya, it is only open in the warm weather," she tried to finish her words, as I was walking away. I made my way through the crowd. Pushed on the glass door, it opened. As the cool night wind blew, I wrapped my coat tighter around me.
I stepped out onto the cement pad and noticed a path had been shoveled clear of the snow. I followed the path around the corner of the building and in front of me was a table with a vase of roses and several burning candles. I smiled and bent down to smell the roses. Upon straighten back up, I felt a hand on my shoulder turning me around, then a hand covered my mouth quickly. I didn't even have time to gasp. One hand was on my neck holding me firm and almost on tiptoe toes. My eyes grew wide with fear. I froze, as I once again looked deeply into the strangers' dark eyes. I wasn't afraid he would hurt me, was I? No, I assured myself I wasn't. I was afraid of how I sensed he could read my thought and learn my innermost secrets. Secrets I never thought I would ever reveal to another living person.
His eyes seemed to burn holes through me, heating me up from the cold outside elements. I found myself getting so turned on; my breasts pointed out through my shirt and unfastened coat. Just as I had these thoughts, he glanced down at them; first one breast and then the next, and back to meet my eyes once more. How my body longed for him to caress my breast. They ached to be touched and fondled by him.
When he was sure he had my full attention, he began to speak to me, almost in a whisper. "Your eyes, your body has already spoken to me. They urge me to do things you've only dreamed about. Your secret desires and your fantasies can become... reality. All you have to do is surrender them to me. Do you think you can trust me?" he asked.
Slowly I shook my head, yes unable to answer verbally with his hand still clasped over my mouth. My heart trusted him the moment our eyes met inside the pub. My body surrendered to him instantly, it was my brain fighting it.
"Listen very carefully to me. I want you to be my pet. To be pampered, loved and taken care of in more ways than you can imagine. Your every need would be provided for. You would not be hurt, but you must obey and surrender your will to me, to learn to trust and depend on me completely. It would not happen overnight, it requires a long journey, but in the end, you will be pleased with your accomplishments. I know this is something you want. Do not deny it. It excites you to turn over control," he smiled.
"First, I need to know it is your choice, your decision to make. If you chose to turn and leave, you are free to go." As he released his grasp on me, I felt my head spinning. I blamed it on the drink. I slowly shook my head up and down with my eyes never leaving his.
"Yes," I whispered softly.
Did I just answer him? Was that my voice saying yes? This guy was a stranger, I didn't even know him, my inner voice was screaming stop but I answered with my heart, not my head. My mind kept objecting, but my body was screaming, YES! Take me and do whatever you want with me. I'm yours totally.
He put his hands on both sides of my face. Holding my cheeks tightly, he kissed me deeply. I closed my eyes and felt in a dreamy state. I felt like melted butter in his hands. My knees were weak and I worried I might fall down if he removed his hands to quickly. I didn't fall however when he reached over and put the candles out. He handed me the roses from the vase.
"Go back inside now and tell your girlfriends, you ran into an old friend. He will bring you back, after your visit.
I obeyed him; my feet moving as instructed as if in a trance. I found Sandy still on the dance floor and repeated the words Calvin spoke to me mindlessly. She kissed me good-bye on the cheek and I smiled without showing my confusion, the battle going on inside me between mind and body.
Outside, Calvin stood waiting for me. We walked silently to his car. He opened the car door and after a heavy breath, I got in. He drove a short distance from the pub, we could have walked in warmer weather it was so close. I felt a little safer, knowing if something happened, I could always run back to Sandy!
It was a small apartment, nothing fancy but it was tidy and he lived alone. I don't know what I expected, a castle maybe? He took my coat and offered me a drink. I declined the drink, wanting to keep my wits about me. He fixed himself one and then walked into the living room where I was standing. He did not ask me to sit down so I remained standing, looking around.
He sat down in the leather chair in the corner.
"Strip dance for me," he said calmly.
"What?" I replied, thrown off guard, not sure I heard him correctly.
"You heard me, I didn't stutter." He knew I didn't dance with my friends at the pub. He was testing me and I flunked with flying colors.
"Just strip for me. I want to see your body naked."
I nervously bit my lip debating what to do. This certainly wasn't what I expected to hear from him. He got up from the chair and stood in front of me.
"Come now. At your age you have been naked in front of a man before?" he asked.
I shook my head up and down, unable to speak.
"Well then, what's the problem?"
Where to begin, my brain thought silently while I stood looking down at the floor? I hardly knew the guy we had just met. He walked over to the stereo and turned on some slow soothing music but I still remained standing. He walked back over to me and placing his hands gently on my shoulders began to sway me side to side. We danced in the living room together slowly, with him kissing me and grabbing my ass with his hands from time to time, like small pinches. I began to relax and move more with the beat of the music. He stroked my hair and traced the outline of my lips with his thumb between kisses. He made me feel sexy and how I ate up the attention.
I was in a dreamy state again when he asked his second question.
"Have you made love to a man before, Tonya?
I wanted to answer, YES, I have only twice, with each time being disappointed and left dissatisfied. The first time was at a party, and the first time I was drunk. Perhaps the reason I limit myself now days. What a mistake that night turned out to be. The first time they say you will always remember it as being so special, I only wish I could forget it.
The second time was with a good friend whom I'd known for many years. It destroyed our friendship forever. Experienced yes, successful... NO! How could a man live up to the imaginary prince I created in my mind, not to mention the romantic novels? How could I not be disappointed? The real world was such a big disappointment, but isn't that what fantasies are? False ideas and dreams way out in left field somewhere? Secret desires and thoughts for ones own pleasure and entertainment? Calvin stopped dancing and looked into my eyes, bring me back to face reality again and to answer his question.
"Let's sit for a spell and get better aquatinted," he suggested. Calvin went back to the leather chair in the corner and I headed toward the sofa, the only seat left but he stopped me.
"Come sit here, on the carpet at my feet," he pointed. I obeyed and sank down onto the carpeted floor; it was softer than I expected. He positioned me with my back toward him, which I thought was a strange for us to talk to each other. I wanted to look at him, to look into his eyes some more. They seemed so magical and hypnotized me. They seemed to know how to comfort me and keep me from feeling afraid.
To my surprise, he took a hairbrush out of the drawer of the end table and began brushing my hair. I love to have my hair brushed. Sandy would always brush it to cheer me up when I was feeling down or home sick. It felt so good and relaxed me.
He asked me about my childhood, growing up and about college. About my roommates, friends and favorite things I liked to do. I wanted to learn something about him, but he ignored my questions and changed the subject when I tried to ask him a question. Finally I gave up trying.
After about an hour, which seemed to fly by, he quickly reached down and hoisted me up from the floor and laid me across him lap. I was shocked by his swiftness, completely surprised. He took the hairbrush and began spanking me. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to cause me to yell out loud. I hadn't been spanked since my father spanked me as a young child.
"This is for not obeying me when I told you to strip dance for me earlier this evening. It would not have hurt you to dance as much as this paddling will hurt. Your disobedience will not be tolerated, I thought you already understood that." His tone was not harsh but firm and by his wrist movements, I knew he had done this before many times. Each smack was a little harder than the last. I didn't keep count but toward the end of the punishment, I was begging, pleading and wiggling all over his lap. To my surprise, my panties were getting pretty wet. He was exciting me.
As quickly as it started, it stopped. With one push, I was off of his lap and fell back roughly onto the carpeted floor below. When I realized where I was, Calvin had followed right behind me. He rolled me over and straddled my waist with one of his legs on either side of me. He had unfastened his pants and took out his hard cock. He grabbed both my hands and placed them around the base. When he let my hands go, I immediately removed them. I didn't mean it to be offensive or anything; it just was a natural instinct for me to withdrawal. I was feeling such a mixture of emotions. I wanted to make soft passionate love to Calvin, not give oral sex our first time together.
Calvin decided for me and his decision was to take me roughly. He pulled down my pants and panties and rammed his cock inside of me, in one hard thrust. I tried to push him off of me but he held my wrist together above my head with one of his hands. His other hand traveled and caressed my body. He lifted my shirt up and rubbed my breast. It felt good, even through my bra. Even though I had the feelings of being raped at first, I began to feel pleasure. I began to relax and enjoyed his touch. I lifted my legs and crossed then behind his back and moved to match his rhythm. Calvin released my hands, and gave me several sweet passionate kisses. He looked into my eyes and rubbed my lips and cheek with his thumb. I closed my eyes... and I came, moaning loudly, grinding my hips against his. Calvin was just moments after me. It was mystical, just as I dreamed sex could be. It was better than any novel I had ever read. Had found my prince finally?
Calvin and I spent as many weeknights together as I could between classes and studying. At first weekends was enough for us but after a few months, Calvin got a little more demanding wanting more of my free time. We spend all of our time being alone in his apartment enjoying carry out meals and lots of fun dessert. Calvin taught me how wonderful oral sex can be, giving me my first orgasm with his talented tongue. I spent less time with Sandy and my other friends, and soon they really weren't part of my life any more. I was happy spending all my free time with Calvin. My life was changing.
"Stand up and let me have a look at you. How bout we go shopping today? I'd like to take you shopping," he said.
"Sure," I smiled, "I'd like that too.
"Do you trust me, Tonya?"
"Yes," I answered frowning, unsure of his point.
"You are my doll to dress up and play with, to spoil and take care of, right?" he asked.
"Yea," I answered, growing even more confused. What did he have in mind? I wondered.
The mall was farther away that I had imagined. It wasn't the normal one I've been to a few times with Sandy. Since I didn't have a car, I use to tag along in hers. Calvin opened the mall door and I walked in. The first place he headed toward was a hair care beauty center. He walked up to the receptionist.
"Tonya Slater, 2:45 appointment." He spoke casually.
"You made me an appointment to cut my hair!" I stammered in unbelief.
"Your hair needs to be cut, I don't like it hanging down so lifeless. It's too long and beside you have split ends that need to be removed." He said with a matter of a fact attitude and turned his back to the receptionist and lightly pinched my chin, tilting my head upward.
"Do your have a complaint about that?" he asked staring into my eyes. The tone in his voice was firm and demanded a reply.
"No, I just was taken by surprise, you should have told me first. I haven't cut my hair for years and I like it long." I replied.
"Explain why you think I should have asked or even told you first," he mocked.
My cheeks had reddened by now and I found it useless to argue with him, so I remained quiet. I had agreed to let him spoil and pamper me and here I am questioning him. So I thought that is why he asked if I trusted him before we left his apartment today. Realizing I had nothing else to say in my defense, Calvin pointed to an empty seat in the waiting area, turned his back to me; he spoke with the receptionist again.
I walked over and sat down in an empty chair to wait. A few minutes later, Calvin picked up a magazine from the table and sat clear on the opposite side of the waiting area, without giving me so much as a glance. I felt strange for the first time, being in public was so different than our little games of obedience at his house.