Hello, my name is Jessica and would consider myself to be a successful woman. I am vice-president of an accounting firm, have my very own house, and just bought a new jaguar. All in all, I'd say I was doing all right for myself. However, the one thing that I am lacking is a man. I am a very independent woman and a slight feminist, but most women have that need to be held by a loving husband.

However, my lack of a man is not because I'm not good looking. At 28 I'm no model, but I still have all my charms, from curvy hips, to long legs, to my C cup breasts, and what all my friends tell me is an attractive face. And its not to say that I haven't tried, but most of the men I've dated either had one problem or the other, and I never quite found the one I really wanted to marry.

It was late on Friday when Sally, a fellow vice president and my very good friend walked through the door and rushed up to my desk.

"Hey Jess, you've got to try this".

She came around and started typing a web link on my computer.

"I was walking down the hall this afternoon and saw some of the secretaries huddled around one of the computers. When I asked then what was going on, they showed me this".

On the screen was apparently a dating website.

"When I asked the girls about it, they told me it works really well. Several of them have already been dating men from this site, and they all seemed very excited about it".

I took a closer look at the screen. It appeared to be a legitimate online dating service, with links for men or women.

Sally looked over at me with a wink.

"Come on Jess, lets give it a try."

I looked at her and gave her a sarcastic laugh. "Oh don't be silly, these things never work."

"How would you know, have you ever tried it?"

"No"

"See, and it couldn't be any worse than what ever you've been trying so far."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, but its true. Now come on, lets give it a go."

I sighed and gave in. "Ok ok, but only if you do one to."

"But I already have a boyfriend".

"Than I guess I won't be doing it."

"Ok, I'll just do it for fun."

Sally took the mouse and clicked on "Find a Man for You".

The next page revealed a type of pole. On it was a list of 5 questions with answers that asked for all things I would look for in a man.

The questions were:

1. How successful should he be?

A. Very Successful B. Moderately Successful C. Success not important

2. How Good Looking should he be?

A. Very attractive B. Moderately attractive C. Looks aren't important

3. When at a restaurant, he should?

A. Let me order for myself B. Ask me what I like and order for me C. Order for me without asking

4. How would you prefer an argument to end?

A. A compromise B. I win C. Always he'd win

5. In bed, how would you prefer he act

A. Romantic B. Plain C. Rough

Sally encouraged me to take this seriously, so after studying each question, I choose: Very Successful, Moderately Attractive, Let me order for myself, A compromise, and Romantic.

I clicked submit. We waited for about a minute for it to process. I could tell Sally was excited for the results. Soon a list of about 15 men popped up. Apparently they were the ones that most closely matched my answers.

After looking at all the men, one caught my eye. His name was John. He was a lawyer and a partner for a very large law firm, about 35, and from his picture looked quite attractive.

I pointed him out to Sally and she clicked on his name and up popped his profile.

John, 35. Very Successful, charming, good sense of humor, handsome. Is looking for a woman that will be his best friend and lover.

Sally printed his phone number and handed it to me. "There you go, your perfect man. You really should call him. What's the worst that can happen?"

I smiled, then folded the paper and put it in my purse.

"Ok, my turn. Since I already have a boyfriend I'm doing this just for fun remember."

We reloaded the poll page and the list of questions came up again.

"Hmmm, I have an idea. Why don't we choose all the worst traits we could possibly want in a man. I mean select all the bad answers to each question. I wonder if there are any real guys that pathetic out there."

So with both of us giggling the whole time, she choose: Success not important, Looks aren't important, order for me without asking, For him to always win arguments, and for him to be Rough in bed.

We giggled as the results loaded onto the page. Then a list popped up, if you could call it that.

There was just one person, and judging from his picture, was a very unkept disappointing man. Sally and me both laughed as we read his description.

Billy, 37. Very Demanding. Has trouble keeping jobs. Has tendency to be very opinionated. Is looking for a special kind of girl that will take care of his needs.

Sally wickedly laughed as she hit the print button. She took the paper and shoved it into my purse. "Here Jessica, if the other guy doesn't work out, you can always try this winner." and she ran for the door laughing.

Before leaving she turned. "But seriously, you should give that guy John a call, it couldn't hurt." Then she left.

I laughed to myself at her amusement with this dating game, then went to reach over for my purse to remove the low life's paper. Just then a client called. By the time I was done with the phone, I had forgotten all about the date papers.

Later that night, after I arrived home, I dug into my purse to get my keys when I found John's profile. After looking it over for a little bit, I thought to myself: "What the hell, I'll ask him to one date and if it doesn't go well, then that'll be it".

I picked up the phone and introduced myself to him. After we started talking, I discovered that I was really enjoying the conversation. So when he offered to meet me for dinner on Saturday at this nice restaurant downtown, I agreed.

By Saturday evening I was getting really excited about the date. I was having a really good feeling about this. I arrived right on time, 7:30, and saw he was already there. I was really impressed with his looks. The picture on the web did not do him justice. He was a real hunk.

He was also a perfect gentleman. He gave me flowers, then held my chair out for me. When the waiter came he sat back and allowed me to order. Through out dinner, I got to know him even better. He was well off and very successful, but his work never gave him the time he wanted for dating. Now at 35 he wanted to start a family.

After a wonderful dinner, he paid and then walked me to my car. Here he again acted the perfect gentlemen, kissing my hand and suggesting another date. I told him he could call me and we'd arrange it.

When I got home I was so excited, I just had a fantastic date with the perfect guy. I called Sally immediately told her the good news, and she was just as excited.

"I'm so happy for you Jess, I knew this would be good for you. Was he really that impressive? Wow. I guess you won't be calling the other Mr. Right than huh?" I could hear her laughing on the other end.

I laughed a little to, then we said our goodbyes and hung up. This reminded me of the other dating profile still folded in my purse. I even forgot his name.

I grabbed my purse and began searching for it and found it buried at the bottom. I looked at the name one last time. Billy Thorpe. A special girl in deed. Laughing to myself, I crumpled up the paper and threw it at the wastebasket. However, it just missed, bounced off the top and landed behind the basket.

As I fell asleep, all I could think about was how wonderful this new guy in my life was, and dreamt of the possibilities.

During the next two weeks I had dated John 5 more times. I was completely falling in love with him. He was the perfect guy, always caring about my needs, giving me flowers, treating me with respect. By the sixth date he invited me to his beautiful house and we ended up sleeping together. He was so passionate and sensual it was unbelievable.

It was around this time on a tuesday that I decided to clean my room. When I began cleaning the over flowing wastebasket, I noticed a crumpled paper behind it. Making sure it wasn't anything important, I picked it up and uncrumpled it. It was Billy's profile.

I decided to read the profile again.

Billy, 37. Very Demanding. Has trouble keeping jobs. Has tendency to be very opinionated. Is looking for a special kind of girl that will take care of his needs.

For a second I thought how horrible it would have been if I had met Billy on my date, instead of the love of my life. I feel really bad for any girls that managed to be fixed up with him. What must have it been like to have gone on a date with a guy like this.

When I saw his phone number at the bottom of the page, a wicked idea came into my head. With me seemingly being the luckiest girl in the world by finding the perfect guy, I wanted to see what the other end of the spectrum looked like. I wanted to give this loser Billy a call and see just how much of a creep he really is. Not that I'd actually go on a date with this guy, but I'd just like to hear how it could have been.

With that, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. What a naughty girl I am. The phone began to ring and after about 8 or 9 rings I figured he didn't even own an answering machine, and was about to hang up when a rough sounding man answered.

"Ya what ya want?"

"Um, yes hello, ah, is Billy there please?"

"Yeah hotstuff, this is him."

"Yes well I'm calling in response to finding your name in an online dating service?"

"Online dating who? Oh ya, I remember that, my mom put me up to that, said it would be good for me. So you want to date me eh, what's your name little girl?"

"Jessica" Damit, I shouldn't have given out my real name, it just slipped.

"So little Jessica, do you have a hot body on ya?"

"I consider myself attractive if that's what you mean."

"But do you have a nice tight ass? I only date girls with nice asses."

"My butt is just fine. Now isn't there anything else you'd like to know about me other than how good my body looks, like what's in my mind?"

"No not really. I'm only interested in your body. But I cant see what you look like on the phone, so where do you want to meet?"

"Meet? Well I don't know, I didn't really..."

"Come on doll, I have to meet you in person before I'd let you date me. You do want to date me don't you?"

"Um well you see, I was just calling to..."

"Gosh girl, are you stupid or something? Why don't you just meet me at the Scarlet restaurant tomorrow night at 7, and wear something to show off that hot body of yours."

... Click...

I was in a little bit of a shock. Even though I figured he would be rude, I hadn't expected him to control the conversation this much. The beeping of my phone brought me to the realization that I was still holding the receiver off the hook.

I hung up the phone and started remembering. Did he just tell me to meet him for a date tomorrow? And to ask me to wear revealing clothing, who does he think he is?

I sat on my bed just thinking of his arrogance. I mean if he treated me this poorly on the phone, just imagine how rude he would be if we met in person.

But he was already expecting me to show up tomorrow. Damit, I wish I hadn't called him. I really didn't want to go, but what if he told the agency that I stood him up. Would they tell John? I couldn't bare to loose him now.

I decided I had to go, just so there wouldn't be any problems. I really wasn't looking forward to it, but I figured that even if it turns out to be a horrible date, at least it will enforce my appreciation for John.

So the next day, I found myself driving to the Scarlet restaurant. I should be crazy for doing this. I could fully expect a horrible evening.

I'm still not sure why I decided to wear what he wanted, revealing clothing. The low cut blouse did show a little too much cleavage, but I figured I might as well show this creep what he WONT be having after this date.

I arrived at the restaurant at 6:50 and went in. I was actually quite surprised. It looked like a respectable restaurant. I half expected it to be a dump.

He hadn't arrived yet, so I took a seat at a table and just waited... and waited... and waited. By 7:40 he hadn't showed up yet, and I was really getting pissed. By 8:00 I was getting ready to leave when he finally showed up.

He was a disgusting looking man, unshaved, unbrushed hair and only about 5'8". When I stood up to vent my anger he quickly whistled loudly, "Dame baby, you sure are fine".

I blushed and looked around to notice other people looking at me. Embarrassed, I quickly sat down. He sat in the chair across from me and quickly snapped his fingers at the waiter. As the waiter was coming, he quickly looked over to me "I'm glad to see you dressed appropriately, I like women who listen, but don't get to comfortable in that dress."

My jaw dropped. Just then the waiter arrived and Billy began to order. He was ordering quite an expensive meal for himself. I was about to order when he just continued and ordered for me. "Yes, the girl will have a salad, that'll be all my good man." Then the waiter left and I just glared at him.

"Why did you do that? I didn't want a salad."

"Because I'm a guy and know what's best for you. Besides, we want that hot looking bod of yours looking good for me don't we?

I just sat there fuming.

"Speaking of keeping in shape, you must work out, do you go to the gym?"

"Well... yes I do."

"I thought so, but you must make good money to afford going to a gym. What do you do?"

"I am a vice-president of an Accounting Firm." I said proudly, hoping this would show him off.

"Accounting firm? That's surprising, a girl like you doesn't look like she's good with numbers. You must have slept your way to the top."

"How dare you suggest..."

"Look I understand, a girl has to do what it takes to support herself. I don't mind, as long as you make enough."

"Well what do you do?"

"Right now nothing, and proud of it. Work is too time consuming for me. I consider myself to be a Male Lion. All he has to do is have sex with many females and they bring him all the food. Its only natural, you agree?"

I was about to disagree when the food arrived. He immediately began to chow down on his food as I did my best to stay interested in my salad. He ate like a pig, and by the time he was finished his face and hands were a mess.

The conversation over dinner was almost nonexistent, and I was bored as hell.

When the waiter approached with the check, I was relieved the night would finally be over. As the waiter handed the check to Billy, he casually pointed towards me and uttered "Male Lion" with a smirk. I grabbed the check fuming and quickly paid for the dinner he mostly ate.