Jeremiah was not a bullfrog, but he was definitely invisible.
This strange occurrence, to an unremarkable man, first happened on his 34th birthday. He was surfing the Internet, browsing through espn.com and enjoying the Page 2 feature. There, he was enjoying a feature called "10 burning questions" in which the site asks famous people (not all jocks) 10 burning questions.
Invariable, one of the last questions is:
Finally, which superpower would you like most -- the strength of 100 men, the ability to turn invisible or the ability to fly.
Jeremiah thought to himself, "invisibility. After all, that's what most people want."
When he looked down, he was gone!
Well, to be more precise, he was gone, but his clothes were still there. Like most single guys, he sat in boxers and a t-shirt when surfing. After all, never know when might get a good woodie, and in those cases, quick access will always useful.
He returned to discovering the bounds of his invisibility. His watch and ring were still there, sort of floating as he moved his hands. His T-shirt and boxers showed his form (or what passed for form).
He quickly shucked his clothing and walked through the apartment to his bedroom, and stood in front of his fill-length mirror to check out the situation.
Like everyone else, he had seen both old and new versions of "The Invisible Man" and thought that some of the plot devices were really stupid.
Still, he was invisible.
Jeremiah began to get a little scared. Not only did he not know how he became invisible, he did not know how to become visible again. He had visions of food and drink being visible as they passed through his system. He saw himself leaving footprints in the dew. He just knew he would be hunted down like some kind of dog.
He was absolutely positive that he would never get laid again.
He began to think about being visible again, and then realized that he was visible, and that he was standing bare-assed naked in front of his full-length mirror.
In his relief that he would not be the subject of a global manhunt my warped member of the military who wanted to turn him into the ultimate spy, he began to wonder if he could switch back at will. Sure enough, he thought about become invisible, and did. He tried going back, and did. After flicking himself visible/invisible half a dozen times, with no apparent damage, Jeremiah realized that he now possessed a unique ability that definitely needed investigating.
To that end, he began experimenting. He brought some food and other items into the bedroom, stood in front of the mirror and willed himself invisible. Good. Now Jeremiah grabbed a banana and was delighted to see that he could pick up and manipulate things, exactly the same as if he were visible. He took a bite of the banana, prepared to see it work its way through his system, and was stunned to see that once he closed his mouth, it vanished from sight. It was only visible while he held it in his mouth, and his mouth was open.
Jeremiah drank a glass of water and discovered the same basic result. As soon as he closed his mouth, the water was invisible. If he held the water or banana in his mouth, with his mouth open, it could only be seen from the same angles as if he were visible. Someone behind him, he determined, could not see anything in his mouth. So much for the Hollywood script writers.
Jeremiah splashed some water on himself. To his amazement, the minute it made solid contact with his skin, the water passed directly though him. While clothing remained visible, water or even soda or coffee turned just passed on through. He jumped into the shower and could actually see the spray pass through his own body. Now this definitely had possibilities. He stepped out of the direct spray and cranked up the hot, filling the small bathroom with steam. As nearly as he could tell, the steam was undisturbed when he walked through it. Another theatrical myth destroyed.
He next made a small puddle and walked though it. There was no sign of his passage, and he did not leave any wet footprints behind. He walked into the bedroom and could not see the carpet move where he stepped. Just for kicks, he went back into the bathroom and stepped onto the scale. The needle never flickered.
Without thinking, he raised the lid on the toilet seat, grabbed his pecker and began to take a leak. His piss was visible, but only after it got about six inches from his body. He spit into the bowl and noticed the same effect. There was absolutely no way that Jeremiah was going to watch himself shit, so he decided to have faith that the same rules applied. After all, a man has to believe in something.
He willed himself visible, got dressed and went to a local Red Robin, where he ordered a Banzai Burger and began to think.
He could turn this off and on at will.
Some things could pass through him, but he could not seem to be able to pass through things, like walls or doors. Yet, in an obvious contradiction, he could move things while invisible. This confused him, but he was easily confused.
None of the obvious Hollywood flaws seemed to happen.
He had no way of carrying anything except in his mouth, which really limited his options.
There had to be some way to profit from this, either financially or sexually.
Jeremiah immediately thought of all the voyeur cam sites on the web. He was a camera-less web site waiting to happen - but for his own private enjoyment.
With his burger, fries and a nice cold beer filling his stomach, Jeremiah headed out to experiment with his newfound powers. He headed for the mall. Leaving his watch, ring, wallet and clothing in his car, he locked up, taking only his ignition key.
"Have to get a keyless entry system someday," he thought. He nervously looked around, and no one seemed to notice him. He realized that getting dressed and undressed in the car was a risk, he also thought about getting a van some day.
He walked towards the mall, being very careful as he walked, once he realized that no one could see him. He looked down and could see his ignition key swinging back and forth, so he popped it into his mouth (yuck!) and tried to remember to keep his mouth shut.
Jeremiah also came to the painful recognition that the bottoms of his feet were very soft and two or three times he inadvertently cried out as he stepped on a particularly sharp pebble.
He kept waiting for someone to shout out, to demand that he stop, to grab him by the wrist - but it never happened. He also felt like a dork walking towards a crowded mall completely nude. In a way, he was very glad that no one could see him.
"Oh my god," he thought. "What if I suddenly lose my power and turn visible in the middle of the mall. I'll get arrested for sure."
As he walked through the mall he found that he had to be very, very careful of crowds so that he did not bump into anyone. He did not know if someone could feel the contact, and certainly didn't want to find out the hard way.
He went into one of the large, upscale department stores and headed for the women's clothing department. It took almost no time at all until he found the women's changing rooms. He walked right past the woman who counted items and handed out inventory tags and looked around. He discovered that there were about 12 changing rooms along a single corridor, six on each side. The had modesty doors, not full doors. The modesty doors can about 20 inches from the floor on the bottom and topped out at about the six foot mark. Jeremiah could peek in to an individual room by getting up on his toes, and he did so.
Most of the women were typical middle-age cows. Overweight in out of shape, just like Jeremiah. Still, the last booth down held promise. A twenty-something woman, about 5'6, trim figure, average rack went in carrying three dresses. Jeremiah headed for the door and looked over as she hung the dresses on one of the hooks, and began to unbutton her blouse. Jeremiah decided that this tip-toe routine was getting tiring, so he moved as close to the wall as he could and got on his hands and knelt by the door. Sticking his head underneath he had an adequate view of this woman as she finished undressing. She had just taken off her blouse, and she unhitched her belt and unzipped her pants. "Damn, she was wearing panty hose,' but he couldn't see much through the hose.
Looking up, he imagined that could see her bush through the fabric of the panty hose, and he began to get erect. Soon his four and an eighth inches of manhood were turgid, but he still couldn't see anything.
He decided that he probably had a better view standing, as just as he started to rise, he let out a tremendous fart that several women could hear. While one or two of the women in the farthest away changing rooms started to giggle, the woman in the room closest to him called out, "Whose out there?"
Jeremiah knew that he was about to be discovered, so he ran out of the dressing rooms as fast as his chubby little body would allow, his now flaccid penis flopping back and forth. He did not stop running until he was outside of the store and in the main mall.
He didn't know if here were more scared or excited.
Yet, despite the thrill, Jeremiah was dissatisfied with the experience. First, it was uncomfortable as all hell, and second, he felt like a moron looking under the dressing room door. Couldn't he do any better than that? Hell, he had almost a year of Junior College to his credit, so he was an educated man. He had to think.
He went back to his car, feeling all the more like a fool. He racked his brain for ideas and then it dawned on him, in invisibility stories that he read on storiesonline.net, the hero almost always went to a school locker room where he would ogle some 17-year old girl with D-cub boobs. That was it, tomorrow he would go to a school. Tonight, however, he would go back to his apartment and masturbate, thinking about what might have been.
He took the slimy, wet key from his mouth, let himself into his car, quickly dressed, willed himself visible, and drove away.
With the dawning of a new day, Jeremiah awoke. His first task of this beautiful morning was the same as it was most mornings, he peeled the dry, crusty tissue away from the head of his dick, gave it a quick smell, and tossed it in the trash can.
Jeremiah took his morning constitutional, and thought briefly about his embarrassing flatulence the night before. "OK," he thought. "New rule. No beer before invisibility."