Most folks call me Willy but my real name is William Beaufort Lee after some Colonel that died in the great war. Don't worry about such things though as I live in a big old house off 40th and Pine that I used to share with my Ma 'till she up and died last year. Never knew my Pa; Ma just called him a Rollin' Stone, and my Brother LeRoy told me that he never did nothing good. LeRoy is in some hospital up north where they put him 'cause he got shot in the head and don't remember nothing no more. I went up to see him once, but he just sits there and stairs at the ceiling and don't talk about nothing so I haven't gone back.
Never finished school; actually never really started but got hired on at this big legal firm in town where the bus takes me everyday. The bus driver, Ralph, is great and is always teasing me about my clothes and glasses and stuff, but he's a nice guy and sometimes gives me candy. I sort mail in the mail room and get paid every other Friday but most of the money goes to comics. People say I'm stupid 'cause I spend my money on comics and hamburgers but they don't know what I know about these comics that will be worth a lot of money someday. I hardly ever see my boss - only twice a year when he calls me into his office and tells me what a good job I'm doing and gives me some extra money or candy. Everyone treats me just fine and I like them all 'cause I've known most of them for better than fifteen years now. Sometimes in the afternoon, I get to watch cartoons on a small black and gray TV we hide over in the corner, but most of the time we're too busy. I love 'toons and Bugs is my most favorite.
Everything changed a week ago when I was taken my mail onto the fourth floor for my mid morning run. I went into Ms Thornton's office to drop off her stuff and she was on the phone drinking coffee with one of her long legs up on the desk. I'm in love with Miss Thornton; she's so beautiful and sexy with her long skirts and suit coats that hide everything but how beautiful she is. She has her own office with blinds on the windows and a grand view of the freeway. Everyone was afraid of her and I was too because they always said "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" and acted so business-like when they were in her office. Ruby says she's a carpet muncher but I know she ain't cause she don't wear red lipstick and has long dark hair. I heard her once yelling at some poor guy in a suit because he called her stuck-up or something and he never went near her office again. I never have problems though, 'cause I think she likes me 'cause she always smiles and gives me candy and greets me with a soft voice and her eyes are so big and beautiful even behind those big ugly glasses she sometimes wears. I get feelings for her like I used to get for my Mary Lou and sometimes I go home and beat my lizard just thinking about Ms Thornton without any clothes on.
Mary Lou and I got married some twelve years back on May 20th in a Baptist church that burnt down last Halloween night. Everyone said it was some punk kids but I knows it was some witches that eat bats eyes and torture little boys when they wander too close. Don't ask how I know these things but I just do 'cause I'm smart, I guess. Anyways, Mary Lou had come to live with me and my Ma since afore I remembers 'cause Ma said that her Daddy used her as a cumbag, whatever that was. She used to stroke my lizard all the time 'cause she loved to watch him spit and wiggle but one time she tried to bite off his head and it hurt real bad and when I yelled at her she just kept hitting my nuts 'till I rolled on the floor and cried. The next day her clothes were gone and so was she but I figure she'll come back some day when she gets lonely and I'll just wait. Right now though, when I get that feelin' betwixt my legs (you know what I'm talkin' about), I visit the ho's off of 86th on the other side of the tracks to let my lizard spit. Leroy always said that a limp lizard would one day fall off so I tries to keep him hard whenever I think about it.
Anyways, when Ms Thornton reached up to get her stuff with the phone still stuck in her ear, her shoulder sort of slipped a little and the phone started to slide to the floor so when she reached up with her other hand with the coffee cup, she done spilt it all over her pretty suit jacket and white blouse and I could see the frilly thingy she wore underneath. Now I might be a little slow sometime, but I sure wasn't going to stick around and get yelled at so I done dropped everything and made a bee line for the door. Just before I reached it though, she commanded me to stop. I was shakin' so bad my teeth were clatterin' when I turned to face her.
"It's not your fault Willie, I was too warm anyway," she said. She removed her coat and started undoing the buttons on her stained white blouse and I felt like I would pee. She slowly made her way to her very own bathroom and called out, "Wait a minute, will you please while I change?" Little did she know that I could see what she was doing 'cause she left the door opened a little and there was a mirror that showed everything. I could see her pearly white skin and her two gorgeous udders as her frilly thing slipped past her shoulders. When she undid her skirt, I couldn't make out her fur patch (lizard den as I call it) but I could see her two firm butt cheeks as they strained against her shorts and I felt my lizard stirring to life. She glanced up and caught me staring at her with drool dripping from my lower lip.
"Now it's not nice to stare, is it Willie," she admonished gently as she closed the door the rest of the way. I stood there and thought about the two gorgeous globes I'd just seen and considered bolting for the john to make my lizard spit. But just as I turned, Ms Thornton opened the door and stepped out with a whole new get up and a smile that made me warm all over. "Thanks Willie, your such a sweetheart," she said softly and my lizard starting shaking all over. I turned and mumbled "Yes ma'am" as I stumbled out of her office and right into the arms of Ruby.
"Whoa, Willie, where you going. Oh, are you glad to see me or something," she exclaimed when she saw the bulge in my jeans.
"No ma'am," I said weakly and I turned all red and bolted for the john. I was so shamed that I didn't even come out until I thunk everyone had gone home and the lights went out. They weren't gone though 'cause Ms Thorton was still in her office with her ugly glasses on. She called out to me as the door to the john squeaked shut.
"Willie, come here a minute, would you please?"
"Yes ma'am," I mumbled and stumbled slowly over to her open office door.
"Come in and sit down," she invited soothingly.
I went in and plopped down on the plastic couch that was supposed to look like leather. The fake flowers on the table next to me smelled like window cleaner. I didn't have nothin' to say about nothin' and just stared at my hands, pickin' at one of the paper cuts that I had gotten earlier in the week.
"It's not your fault Willy," she soothed.
"Call me Ellen, Willie."
"Willie, how old are you know?"
"I could feel my neck gettin' red. "Twenty-nine, Ma'am Ellen Ma'am."
"Do you have any children?"
"No Ma'am," the words were gettin' harder as my throat started to lock up and the pitcher of water on the right hand side of her desk suddenly looked better than a bottle of Annie Green Springs.