Chapter 2

My mind raced all day at school with the weird scene I'd seen last night. I could hardly wait as school got out and riding the bus home, I kept flashing back to mom, my mom, and Tina! It scared me too. I couldn't fathom why mom would even agree to get down on her knees and seemed to enjoy complaining about me! There was no denying it, mother and Tina were into an area of weirdness I couldn't - and didn't want to- understand!

As I came home I looked at mom sitting there reading magazine on the couch - looking as normal as ever. She was wearing a off the shoulder blouse and cut off while she twirled a strand of her hair absent mindedly. It was like none of it even happened! Mom grunted "how was school" and I grunted an obligatory response, storming up to my room closing the door, and landing on my bed to figure out with the butterflies had returned when looking at mom again.

I looked at myself in the wall mirror. Was there something wrong with me too?

I laid on my back and unsnapped my pants, staring at the ceiling. What's the deal with Tina? I wondered. Why did she get to act that way in front of mom? I could never get away with talking to mother like that, plus I had to do all sorts of stupid crudely chores and stuff! Just cause she's older? Did mom like her better?

I let my fingers drift down and disappear into my underwear. It was no big deal, I just did it sometimes. I frowned, then remembered something I overheard Tina say.

"Kissing your own daughters butt."

I mouthed the words silently, fearful to say them aloud.

I heard a the door open a sliver and jerked upright in fear! But it wasn't mom, only my kitty cat, Moose (stupid name, I know). I sighed in relief! I cursed that mother wouldn't allow a lock on my door! My mood broken, I crept downstairs, but only found mom sitting in the same spot, reading. I quietly watched her from the hall, then became embarrassed that I'd forgotten to re snap my pants when I left my bedroom! As I quietly snapped them, I was deep in thought, watching mother.

Maybe if I approached mom like Tina does? But if I pissed her off I could be grounded for months! She would too! Moms not good at day to day discipline, but if she's steamed, shell really lay into my butt!!!

Even talking stuff like Tina does was playing with dynamite! I couldn't risk that.

I screwed up my courage and threw out Tina's name to see how it floated. Besides I needed to feel out Tina on all this.

"Mom, I thought I'd go see Tina tonight, okay? Can you give me a ride?" I asked. Mother stopped reading for a second and I felt her pause, but she didn't look up.

"Uh... Tina? why in the world do you wanna see her?" Mom asked, returning to her magazine.

"Moooommmm - I thought you wanted us to be friends?" I sighed impatiently.

"Okay - but Tina's nearly a grown up honey! I'm sure she has better things to do -"

"Mother - I already called her! She said its fine." I lied. I figured Tina would cover for me when mom dropped me off - if she dropped me off!

Mother's voice sounded... funny. There was tension in the air and I got instant butterflies inside as Mom dropped her magazine and looked up, squeaking. "She said that?"

"uh huh." I smirked, savoring the moment.

There was another pause.

"Well... not 'till you clean up your room young lady!" I sighed in disappointment as her old mom voice returned, as she continued.

"And I also need you to go through your old clothes too! We need to see what tops you've grown out of. Come with me and well try stuff on so I know what to throw out - " Mom reached out for my hand but I jerked it away.

"Mom, geeezzzz - do we really need to do that right now? Gimme a break!!!"

She folded her hand on her hips, all serious like. "Well, somebody's not taking one step out of this house until I can see at least some proof that there is a carpet through the piles of clothes and half eaten - god knows what - that litter your room!"

If she hadn't have been so pissed, I'd have even thought she looked pretty, standing there in her blouse and cut offs, hair teasing across her face and shoulders, giving me shit like that! I loved my mom, but she really was compulsive sometimes!

"Mother - your, like, totally exaggerating now! " I growled...

"You wanna be, like, totally grounded for 3 weeks?" she shot back.

"... because I wont try on stupid old blouses I already know I've grown out of OR for not picking up a few things in my room? That's what you'd ground me over???" I said not believing my ears. I stepped closer to her and tried to say confidently...

"Your bluffing."

"Try me."

We glared at each other in silence. I couldn't figure out why mom was making me stand here, over this stupid point! I was beginning to think I was way in over my head, and had a nightmarish image of myself grounded every Saturday night, doing the dished 'till I was thirty fucking six!

It was time to bail, and save my own hide! But to my utter horror, these words cam drifting out of my mouth, beyond my control!

"Mom, it was Tina's suggestion I come over! Am I gonna have to CALL her?"

A thousand emotions flickering across Mother's face.

I knew I was probably dead. I'd crossed that line, and we both knew it.

Mom stepped within a few inches of my face looking down at me. Somehow, mother looked angry and frightened all at once!!! I looked up at my mother and swallowed dryly. I remembered how she used to ride me on her back as a little girl. We played like she was my doggie. It was fun. Those days seem a million miles away tonight.

Mom put her arm on my shoulder, but instead of killing me on the spot, she guided me firmly toward down the hall to my room.