Chapter 12

Lin Chi is well accepted!

We returned home Wednesday evening. It had been a nice but tiring trip, but we were happy to be home. We drove to mom's house to pick Jay up. As we went in the kids were watching television, mom was on the phone talking to someone.

We walked into the kitchen where mom was and I sat the car seat on the counter.

"Come here kids, I want to show you something! They all hurried in to find out what I had.

"It's a baby! Where did he come from? Bill asked.

"It's not a he. Her name is Lin Chi Lamour." Sue answered.

"Lin Chi! What kind of name is that? Bob asked.

"That is a Vietnamese name, her mother was a Vietnamese girl. She is my daughter from a girl I knew from Vietnam. She died and they brought Lin here to me. Sue and I are going to raise her." I explained.

"Can I hold her?" Phyllis asked.

"Sure you can. Where is Jay? I asked.

"He is upstairs with Rick." I went up to get him while they fussed over Lin.

"How is it going Rick?" I asked entering his room. Jay was on the floor playing with his toys while Rick was watching television.

"Hi Jay! Did you just get back?" Rick asked.

"Yes, and we brought a surprise with us. Hi little man, did you miss daddy? I said picking him up. He was smiling from ear to ear. "Come on son, I want to show you something." I said not giving away to Rick, what the surprise was. Rick hurried down stairs to see for himself. As I returned to the kitchen Jay saw his mom and reached his arms out for her.

"Hi sweetheart! We missed you so much! Have you been a Good boy?" She hugged, kissed, and made a fuss over him.

"Look what we brought you, a baby sister!" She Held him in a way to allow him to see her. Jay reached out to touch her.

"Sue she is so beautiful!" Mom said, caressing Lin's face. "She is going to be spoiled rotten. Someone is going to have his or her hands full." She was looking at Sue and I. We stayed another hour and went home.

After we got home and put luggage away, Sue put Jay to bed made a pot of coffee. It was nine thirty, and we were tired. We had the car seat with Lin sitting on the kitchen table. Sue poured us a cup of coffee as we sat and stared at Lin.

"Are you going to be able to handle her?" I asked. She looked at me and turned her eyes back toward Lin.

"I can handle her, can you?"

"What are you going to tell people when they ask if you are you married to an Oriental man?" I asked teasing. She cocked her eyes at me.

"I'll tell them he is Korean." She joked and gave me a little smile.

"Touché!" We were silent a few seconds. "Mind game! What will our families think of this?" I asked.

"What do you think?"

"You are trying to break the rules. I asked you first."

"You make the rules up as you go along!" She said laughing and raising her voice.

"I am not! That has always been the rule."

"You're such a liar!" She continued shaking her head and laughing at the same time.

"I invented the game, I make the rules. Play by the rules or forfeit!" I said putting my forehead on the table trying to cover up my laughter.

"I can't win can I?"

"Do you forfeit?" I asked smiling.

"And what would I forfeit?"

"I will tell you tonight. Now answer my question!"

"Seriously?" She asked looking at me. "I think some of our friends and maybe some in our families will wonder and even ask me how I can do this. I will tell them that I am adopting your child because she is yours and she had no one else to take her. Now that she belongs to us, I love her like my own. She picked Lin up and put her against her chest holding her. "Jay, I love her, I really do." She said with a soft loving voice.

"I know that you love her." I stated, leaning over and kissing her and Lin. "I'll not say this to anyone else ever, and you may think it's a man thing but I would not change anything except for hurting her mother."

"I feel the same way. I really do. Tell me more about her mother."

"Put her back in the seat for a minute." I said. She laid her down and I put my arms around her and kissed her long and soft. "You are so wonderful. I have a couple of pictures of her in mom's attic. She was very beautiful. I found out after we had been together that she was sixteen, about to turn seventeen. Her parents were old and had a small farm. They grew barely enough to eat. She had two older brothers that were in the Army. I never met any of them. I would always send things home with her to give to her parents. Cigarettes, toilet paper, canned food when I could get them and C-Rations. All the men tried to be with her but she wouldn't have anything to do with anyone."

"Why did she choose you?"

"Because I chose a different approach and did not come on to her as the others did. I took my time and won her affection by deceiving her. I knew she had nothing and never would except war and destruction. I offered her safety and comfort."

"Jay, that's terrible."

"I know and I am sorry for it."

"Why didn't you think of me while you were over there?"

"I knew you loved me and I remember that you said you would wait for me but I had been told the same thing before. I was afraid of being hurt again. I was clearing the slate in my mind. I did start writing a letter one night."

"You were going to write me?"

"Yes. I happened upon your picture in my billfold. It caused me to think of you and I started writing but suddenly after a half page, I stopped. I felt it would hurt you more if I wrote and then something happened to me."

Besides, I never expected to see you again and I thought you would forget about me in time."

"I didn't. You were my first and last thought everyday."

"I know."

We finished our coffee and went to bed leaving Lin in the car seat on the floor next to our bed.

"Go shopping tomorrow and get her a bed." I said after we had cuddled.

"I will." She said falling asleep soon after. I lay thinking of my new family. I was not able to fall asleep. I got up to go to the kitchen but first taking the letters out of my nightstand to read while I was up. I poured myself a lukewarm cup of coffee and sat at the table.

April 8,1970, 9:30 pm.

My Secret Lover,

I start by saying that because I am the only one that knows how much I love you and think about you. In a way, you are my secret lover. While I am at work, I sneak secret thoughts of you while no one is watching. No one knows about how I have secret thoughts of you while I sometimes set alone during lunch. How I secretly think of you while someone is speaking to me. When I am helping my family prepare supper and everyone is talking at the same time but I hear nothing, their voices muted, as my mind is thousands of miles away with you. When someone speaks your name and I sneak away into a world where you and I are the only inhabitants. Then there are times when I am caught off guard, when my thoughts are on the things of the day and you secretly sneak into my mind spoiling them when I need to be concentrating. Ha! Ha! I just had a thought! What if I was caught thinking of you too much and we were sentenced together forever. Oh My! No matter where I am or what I do, you are there. I Love You so keep it up. Kiss me in your dreams.

Your Secret Lover, Sue

April 12, 1970, 11:35 pm.

To my not so secret Lover,

I was caught red handed! I was alone in the kitchen the night before last drying dishes, thinking of you when Genie appeared. She must have seen something in my face. You are thinking of him aren't you? She asked. I had no excuse for where my mind was so I admitted that she was right. Then I prefaced any further conversation by sitting the rules. I said to her. "If you have anything negative to say this conversation ends here." To my surprise, she was supportive. For the first time in a while we talked to one another as sisters do. She realizing how much I love you began by apologizing for the way she had acted in the past.

She held me as I began crying. I miss you so much I could not hold it in. I cried for fifteen minutes as she held me in her arms. She now knows you are my secret lover. I guess it is no longer a secret. I hope you do not mind me having a friend that I can talk to about us. If I needed someone to talk, she said she would be there for me. We finished the dishes, went to my room, and talked at length. She talked some of her boyfriend and how much she did not really care for him. How she has trouble maintaining relationships because she possibly expects too much from them. She wants them to have college degrees but not be smarter than she, those kinds of expectations.

Then I went on and on about you. She listened to everything I had to say. She closed the conversation by saying you were the luckiest man on earth to have me as the one waiting. We hugged and I thanked her for being there for me.

Tonight she was passing my room and noticed my light on under the door. She knocked being curious and I opened the door and invited her in. She asked why I was sitting at my desk at this hour and I explained I was about to write you as I always do. She asked if you had been writing back. No, I said showing her the letters I had written but not sent. You should have seen the look on her face! She could not believe it until I explained to her that this was my way of staying near you. Then she said the most surprising thing. She said she wished she had someone that could make her feel that way.

I hope you do not mind. I let her read two of the letters to help her understand how I feel about you. While reading, she began crying causing me to cry. She joked to make me feel better and then said, "when you came back she would do everything in her power to take you away from me so she could feel what I was feeling". I knew she was joking but I told her, don't even try it". We had a good laugh and she left me alone to be with you. I have been so busy saying how much I love you I have not told you that I love you. I love you so much. My day will come again. Good night and kiss me in your dreams.

I Love You, Sue

Things could not get any better except!

Another month had passed. Sue and I went to pick Brad up at the airport. I hugged him as he came out of the gate.

"I heard you re enlisted for three more." I said joking with him.

"I heard you were going back in too! He said as we laughed.

"Brad, this is Sue." I said introducing them.

"Damn Jay! Everyone said she was beautiful but I had no idea! Don't ever turn your back when I am around her." He looked at me and smiled.

"I found her in a homeless shelter, for the homely." I joked.

"Stop that Jay!" she said lightly slapping me on the arm.

"Sue, I have never known Jay to lie." Brad said, and we laughed.

"That's right Sue. Show Brad all of your warts." Brad and I continued laughing. "He knows I am kidding sweet. Brad, she knows I am still in awe of her beauty." I explained kissing her.

"Why didn't you bring your kids? Mom wrote me you have another one now. Mom said she was adorable. I can't wait to see them." He said urging us to go.

We talked Army as we walked to the car.

"I'm glad your home Brad. It was a long three wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I am glad you made it home in one piece too. The Medal of Honor, boy have they reached rock bottom." He said as we laughed. After putting the luggage in the car, we drove home.

Everyone greeted us at the door as we entered. The whole family sat around talking for a couple of hours. It seemed as though the kids asked him the same questions they asked me when I returned. The questions stopped as soon as mom told us to come to the table, supper was ready. While we were eating, the questions continued.

"That's enough questions kids!" I said knowing he did not feel like answering any. After supper, Brad and I got us a cup of coffee and sat on the back porch.

"It's a little quieter out here isn't it." I asked.

"I need a beer. Do you want to go out?"

"I'm game, where do you want to go?"

"Is Milton 's Cave still open?"

"Yes, I see cars parked outside of it when I pass by."

"Well let's go!" he said as he stood up.

"I'm going to tell Sue that I will be back in a while." I said as we went into the house.

"You are P-whooped Jay. You have a bad case of it too!" he said laughing and patting me on the back. I just shook my head at him, meaning whatever.

"Sue, Brad and I are going to get a beer. Do you want to stay or go to the house?"

"I'll stay for awhile. Your not going to forget to pick me up, are you?"

"We will just have a couple and come on back." I said putting my jacket on.

We entered the club at seven thirty and there were about fifteen others there. We played a couple games of pool while consuming a few beers each.

"I need to slow down on the drinking. I can not handle it like you can." I said feeling a little dizzy.

"Forget the beer then." He said going to the bar and ordering us a drink.

"Try a little rum and coke." He said handing me one. We drank several of them and I was feeling no pain. We began talking, acting a little goofy and talked of old times. They had been playing country music all evening and we were trying to sing along.

"Come on, let's find someone to dance with." He said looking around.

As I looked around, I noticed the club was full. There were probably seventy or eighty people in the bar at this time. I could tell Brad was not feeling any pain either. I did not intend to dance with anyone. He had gone over to another table and asked one of three girls sitting together if they wanted to dance. I sat down at the table and when I looked up, he was on the dance floor with her. Everyone was clapping to the song that was playing. I was feeling good at this time so I joined in.

One of the other two girls walked over to me and leaned over.

"Do you want to dance? She asked loudly. Her back had been facing me and I had not seen her face. She was very beautiful. The music was very loud and it was hard to hear one another talking.

"I'm a slow dancer, I can't dance to that." I said trying to say no politely. She sat down next to me.

"We will wait for a slow one then. I would rather dance to a slow one myself! I'm Lonnie, what is your name? She asked letting her lips touch my ear.

"Jay! I answered.

"Are you going to dance the next slow one with me?" she said and then put her tongue against my ear. She sent chill bumps over my body.

"I think I have had to much to drink. I do not think I could stand straight enough to dance! I said trying to let her down easy. They began playing a slow song and she pulled on my arm.

"Come on, just one dance. I haven't dance all night!" She said continuing to pull on my arm. I stood up and walked to the dance floor with her. She put her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her. I put my arms around her waist and began dancing. As we moved back and forth slowly, she straddled my leg and began rubbing herself against me. I tried not to react to what she was doing but I could feel myself getting excited. She knew exactly what she was doing.

There were so many on the dance floor we were bumping into others. I knew the song was almost over. I reached my hand up and put it on her breast. I was thinking this might scare her off but she put her hand on top of mine. I did not know now what I wanted to do. She was making me feel good. Brad and the other girl were dancing next to us.