Chapter 1: A Conversation

"... so anyway, I wanted to ask you something."

I smiled and sipped my drink.

"Cedric said the strangest thing last night, and I wanted to ask you what it means."

I nodded.

"We were in bed, you know, and we were talking about our fantasies, and he said-he said he wanted to see me with another man."

She made a face.

I arched my eyebrows. "That is weird," I said.

"So what do you think?" she asked. She lowered her voice. "Do you think he might be gay?"

I pretended to think about it. Cedric was a little bent.

"No," I told her, "I don't think so..."

"So what do you think it means?"

I frowned. "Well," I said, "I guess it could mean a lot of things. You know, not everything people think about is something they'd really do."

She lowered her voice again. "He asked me if I'd do it!"

I frowned. "Did he want to watch?"

"I think so..." she nodded slowly.

"What did you say?"

"Well, I was trying to be open-minded you know, and we were lying there in bed... I didn't want to hurt his feelings..."

I waited. "Yeah?"

"I told him I would think about it."

"Rebecca!" I exclaimed, "You didn't really, did you?"

"Well," she exclaimed, "that's why I'm talking to YOU!"

I smiled. "Becky," I said, "it doesn't matter what I think. What do you think?"

She sighed. "The truth is I'm a little disgusted with him. I mean, to WANT me to be with another man. That's a little sick, don't you think?"

I shrugged. "I've heard of sicker things..."

She shook her head. "I don't EVEN want to hear about it!" She laughed.

I smiled. Rebecca knew I was a lot more adventurous than she.

"Anyway," she continued, "I told him that I'd think about it, but I'm GOING to tell him no. I mean, it's really dangerous, don't you think?"

She was making that face again. I shrugged one shoulder, like I didn't know.

"I mean, what if he, like, decided he didn't like it after all?"

I nodded. Men were like that.

"And besides, I'd feel like such a slut. What if he wanted to, you know, join in?"

I couldn't help but giggle. That part sounded fine to me.

She shook her head. "I know, I know," she smiled, "I've thought about that too..."

I cocked my eyes at her, and she started laughing too. "OK!" she said, "but that doesn't mean I'd really want to DO it!"

When we'd finished laughing, I asked her, "So you're going to tell him no?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, Tina! Tell me what you think!"

"I think you ought to do what YOU want to do, Rebecca. If you don't want to, tell him no."

She rolled her eyes at me. "That's NOT why I'm asking you."

She picked at the sandwich on her plate. "I mean, don't you think it's a little weird?"

She glanced up at me.

"Do you think there's something wrong with him?" she asked.

I looked at her. "Rebecca, there's something wrong with a lot of us." I sighed. "You're right it could be dangerous, and not just the way you mean."

She tilted her head at me.

"Well," I shrugged, "sometimes it's easier to DO something like this than to UNDO it. You should think about what this might mean for your relationship."

She nodded thoughtfully. "You're right," she said. "It's much too dangerous.

She smiled brightly at me.

Afterwards I thought about our conversation. I'd known Rebecca since she'd graduated from college. She taught kindergarten at a private school and was all but married to a handsome and successful man.

I, on the other hand, had been through a string of bad relationships, and while I made good money when I worked, I was about to quit my third job of the year.

I might have gotten bored of her years ago, except that I was so dreadfully attracted.

Oh, she was one of those women who says they're really straight, but she'd let me kiss her, open-mouthed, before she'd taken up with Cedric.

All this talk of opening up their relationship made me wonder if I might have a chance with her again.

At our next lunch date I brought the subject up. "So you told him no?"

"Not exactly..."

"Well, what happened?"

She sighed. "Well, it's not the exactly the kind of thing you bring up out of nowhere!"

"Did you talk to him at all?"

She nodded.

I widened my eyes at her, waiting. "Well, it happened like this; we were in bed again, we'd been out drinking, you know, that bar on Avon Row?"

I nodded impatiently.

"Anyway, he brought me home and when we got there he started to undress me..."

I wasn't sure I wanted to hear all the details.

"And like I said, we'd been drinking, and he started to talk dirty..."

I like it when men talk dirty, but I didn't say a word.

"Well, I DON'T normally like that, you know, but that night, for some reason, it really turned me on."

I smiled, hoping to encourage.

She grinned back at me. "Anyway, he was talking dirty, and, you know, we weren't EVEN in the bedroom." Her face had reddened just a little.

"Saying things about my pussy, and, and my cunt..."

I smiled more broadly.

"So anyway, he had me on the couch, and I was naked, and he was whispering in my ear..." I put my hands together and leaned forward.

"Well," she said, "He had me bent over, you know, and had his hands... down there."