© 2001, all rights retained.
The idea for this story came while in a local cafe eavesdropping on two young women reading the Personals Ads to each other. It was fun as they were very animated. Giggles, shrieks and groans punctuated their readings. "You know what that means, don't you?" was heard a few times. They'd mock frown at each other and shake their heads. It was frustrating but I resisted the urge to call out, "What does what mean?" Quite an entertaining Saturday morning.
I couldn't help asking, 'What would happen if a soft spoken middleage man connected with an uninhibited, very direct woman of the new century?' This fantasy is the result. Let's see how they change each other.
Personals Ad: 'WJF. Seriously compromised Luddite seeks S/M to share love of life and joyous explorations Petit, Mid 30s ns nd omnivore POB 666b c/o BG Reply: Dear Ms. Luddite I am also a seriously compromised Luddite but prefer 9 to 5 at most. Most free time is dedicated to labours of love in my gardens and workshop. I grow Daffodils and Dandelions. I am an amateur luthier and make guitars and violins. I am very good with my hands and have the Irish gift of gab. I love to travel and am looking for a woman who could survive a rainy weekend tent confinement with grace and humour. Reading, writing and skiing (DH&XC) are my hobbies. With gentle enticement, can be a willing, randomly awkward, dance partner. I once made a promise to never eat anything with nostrils on its face but find the smell of hot animal fat so enticing that I indulge occasionally. Marcus Aurelius, the master of our house, is a very playful Siamese. I would love to chat with you. Please call me at 408-555-0660 some evening after Jeopardy!. Hopefully yours Randy O'Toole Chairman (Impeached) Garden Valley Luddite Association, Chapter 0.
"May I speak with Randy O'Toole."
"Umm, Randy here."
"Good evening, Randy. My name is Gabriella and I am the compromised Luddite. I enjoyed your letter."
"Thank you. Gabriella, what a beautiful name.
"Thank you. Ah, I'm sort of at a loss for words but your letter intrigued me. If I read between the lines, it's quite different, you know, from most replies to my ad."
"You read correctly, Gabriella. I am a most curious fellow."
"Well, ah, this is a little embarrassing but I have to ask. I hope you don't think I'm rude or premature in asking a very personal question but can you live up to your name?"
Her laugh sounded mischievous and just slightly stressed.
"I don't feel you're rude. I'm just surprised that..."
"Let me explain," she interrupted.
"I'm looking for a friend and lover who has the energy and inclination to satisfy me. I'm an oversexed, type "A" personality. I rarely hold back when expressing my feelings about what I think is important and sex is high on my list. I feel I should warn you so that we don't start down this path only to stumble over a problem later."
"Are you a sexaholic, Gabriella?"
"What does that mean?"
"Are you addicted to sex? Is it an obsession?"
"Not at all. I just don't want feel like I'm part of an Amateur Night act. Well, um, when I want sex, I want it with a lover who pays attention to detail. My details, if you see the picture."
"Paying attention to the details is very important."
"I'm a little embarrassed to be talking about sex first off but really I don't want to waste time with a Dandelion. I want a Daffodil, right out of the gate. I don't want to just horse around."
"Nicely done, Gabriella. You're feeding me my own words. I like that," I laughed softly, feeling complimented.
"Oh. Tell me why you named your cat Marcus Aurelius?"
"He was a very imperious kitten."
"What do you look like, Randy. Are you a large man?"
"Is that another sexual question, Gabby?" I chuckled. "May I call you Gabby upon occasion?"
"Yes, you may. You're a tease, aren't you."
"I'm much too stodgy to tease very often."
"Sure you are," she drawled. "Now answer my question."
"I'm a little over six feet and shrinking and weigh about 190. Now, close your eyes and describe me. What image pops into your head?"
"Big artist's hands. Long, strong slim fingers. Mmm, that gave me a tingle. Sorry, should not have said that."
"It's okay. You are a tiny woman but you have a high energy aura. I can almost feel your warmth here with me. You are more sensual than sexual. Most of the time."
"Mr. O'Toole, what, in your humble opinion, makes you different?"
"I'm learning to tune in and share."
"I have to say you'd be a rare one."
"Gabriella, I need to put another log on the fire and my wine glass is empty. Would you care to join me here this evening?"
"You weave an enticing web, sir."
"I'll not suck out your vital juices, dear."
"Drat. Just a little bit maybe?"
That got her a big laugh. "I'm not the only tease, it seems."
"I don't tease. Give me directions."
Gabriella wore her light brown curly hair pulled close against her head. A French roll formed a tight bun at the back. She wore a white turtle neck sweater tucked into the waist of tight black jeans under a short black blanket jacket. Nicely packaged for show and tell but not blatantly inviting.
She stood under the porch lamp, her smile cool, eyes dancing nervously.
I opened the screen door and she stepped gracefully inside, holding out her hand.
"I am Gabriella Aarons, sir. I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance."
I took her tiny hand in mine and bowed slightly before releasing it.
Her eyes darted around, taking in the dining room to her right, the living room to her left. She tilted her face and peered up the carpeted stairway for a moment. She cataloged wood paneled walls and old heavy furniture. Her nostrils flared as if savoring the faint smell of wood smoke that lingered. She made me think of a cat cautiously checking out a new residence.
"Beautiful little house. Have you had it long?"
"Thank you. Twenty years or so. May I take your coat?"
She shrugged out of her jacket. It fell down her arms and she caught the collar behind her butt with hooked fingers. I heard keys jingle. Full, unfettered breasts wobbled under her tight sweater.
"Beautiful little body. Have you had it long?"
"Thirty seven odd years. You like?"
"I like," I laughed softly and turned to hang her jacket on the hallway coat rack.
"Give me your shoes please."
She heel and toed and her flats plopped to the floor. I bent and picked them up.
"Yes. Narrow. Very hard to find."
"Would you care for a glass of wine?" I asked as I put her shoes on the rack next to mine.
"Whatever you're having is fine."
"Would you like to see the kitchen?" I smiled invitation into her pretty eyes.
"Love to." She threw a soft delighted smile back.
We walked side by side down the hall to the kitchen doorway. I gestured for her to go first. She stepped daintily past me, peering around the room.
"Oh, this is a nice kitchen and so very modern. I was expecting more antiques." She put her hands on her hips and swiveled her torso around to smile at me. I slowly slid my eyes up from her round butt to her profiled breast before moving on to her eyes.
"Mr. O'Toole!" She chirped a little laugh. "Are you checking me out?"
"Yes, Ms. Aarons. I certainly am." I grinned at her.
"This looks very functional." Her eyes scanned my body. "Do you enjoy cooking?"
"Very much." Feeling amused by a possible double entendre.
"You didn't mention it in your letter."
"I thought I'd save something."
"I'm glad you did. I like little surprises. Why are you not involved with someone?"
"What do you mean."
"I was involved with someone for a long time but I didn't pay attention and she, we grew apart."
"Do you still love her?"
"I love what she once was. What we once had."
"Mmm, still friends?"
"No, she's too far away. Physically and emotionally. Come sit up here." I patted the counter top.
"Sure." She hopped up and twisted on the counter to face me as I pulled a wine glass from the crystal rack.
"Fine." She toyed with the red stained cork, rolling it under her finger tip.
"How about you? Why are you not connected with someone?"
"I am, sort of. I've had a ten year, very committed relationship but it's with a woman and I need more now." She firmed her lips as if to show her determination. "Lori and I are breaking it off in a friendly way. Bed death. You know?"
"Happens. More what?" I stared into her suddenly wary, questioning eyes.
"Conventionality, I suppose."
"Mm. Not as exciting but..."
"You okay with this?" she interrupted.
"Mostly. Give me a bit and I will be."
"Just a little flustered at your quick honesty. You don't waste time, do you, Gabriella?" I smiled large.
"I need to find a better way to say 'life's too short'. That's so tired."
"I like 'Do not go quietly into the dark night'. Fireplace now?"
I held out my hand. She put her soft hand on my palm and squeezed for a moment.
"I see you are a reader. I like you, Randy O'Toole."
I squeezed back.
"I like you too, Gabriella Aarons. You are very direct."
.... There is more of this story ...