One night I was surfing the web and found myself browsing the Yahoo personal ads. Some of the ads women had put up were simply hilarious, and the things they were apparently looking for in men were absurd. I laughed my ass off the entire night reading these ads. They all seemed the same, these women claiming they wanted a man who was loving, kind, honest, sincere, etc. I'd never read so much bullshit in my entire life. One thing they all had in common was that they wanted an honest man. Most guys lie; I know, cause I do. We need to lie to get pussy. Some of you women want us to jump through hoops just to get into your panties, or do a bunch of shit we don't want to do. We do these things reluctantly, just so we finally get some pussy. I can't even begin to describe the dumb, ridiculous shit I've done just to get my share of pussy.
I decided that night to dump the truth, and nothing but the truth, on these women. They wanted a man to be honest, and I could give them the truth. Fuck it, I thought, I've nothing better to do, and nothing to lose. So I started writing the brutal truth. The more I wrote the more ridiculous these ads seemed to me. Halfway through I started laughing, and couldn't stop. I guess I needed to vent something that night, cause I didn't hold back. This is my ad, exactly as I posted it
FIRST LET ME TELL YOU I AM A BLACK MAN, AND I LOVE WHITE WOMEN
Hi, ladies! You always say in your ads that you're looking for an honest man. Well, you've found one, but you probably won't like what he has to say. I'm placing this ad response cause I'm looking to get laid, and that's it. Hey, at least that's honest. Why else would I do it? Think about it. We single men are lonely, and basically looking for something to do. Reading some of the ads, I've laughed out loud at stuff like "long walks in the park" or " I like to go hiking". What a load of crap! Half the women I've met, after two blocks they're complaining their feet hurt. My favorite is "I like to go horseback riding." That's the one that cracks me up the most. First, where the hell do you find a horse in New York City? Second, what makes you think it wants you on its back? And here's another one for you ladies. What makes you think I'd want to go to a God-damn Museum? All that tells me is that you are one boring ass female. Fuck that!!!!!!!!
Here's another good one. "I love sports." Puhleeze, ladies. The first thing you want to do on a Sunday during the football season is drag us around town making us do stuff we don't want to do? I speak for at least 50% of the men out there when I say: 1. We hate shopping. 2. We do not want to hang out with your family or your silly friends. I don't have time to do those boring ass things some of you ladies want a man to do. My job and my money come first. I work 6 days a week, and after a long day at work the last thing I want to hear is "Where are we going tonight?" The only reason men put up with your fantasies is - and let's be honest here - we want to get laid. I used to play that game - doing the shopping thing, walks in the park bullshit, those ridiculous, so-called-romantic things you make us do just to see if we will do them, and then, just maybe, you might give us some pussy. Wake up, ladies! It's a different world! The fantasy man you dreamt of, as a child no longer exists in 2001. Kind, caring, sincere, loyal, etc men are few and far between. And if you think you can find a guy like that on the web, well... good- fucking- luck. Most guys on-line are checking out porn sites, and wondering how to get laid.
So, do you hate me now? Are you pissed off that you've wasted your time reading this? Well, that's life, honey. If you want your pussy pounded into submission by a big black man, I'm the one, baby. And if reading this has made your pussy moist, drop a brotha an e-mail. You never know... if you live close enough to me, tonight could be your lucky night instead of being all alone. You might just find your pussy filled to capacity by a big black cock.
In closing, let me stress that I love all women - short, tall, fat, skinny, chunky - though my fetish is the older white woman. I love all races, and would like to experience women from all over the world before I die. So, ladies, here's the deal. If you're looking for someone to run around town, go here and there, do a lot of dumb boring shit like I mentioned above, I'm not the one. However, if you want to fool around and have sex, I'm your black knight. I have a very erotic mind and like to experiment with my ladies. I love role-playing games and shit like that. I'm not down with any gay stuff unless it's between women. I'm a voyeur and like to watch. When I'm bored I write erotic stories. My stories are posted worldwide. If you would like a trip into my mind, take the link below to my home page, where I post my stories. I write under the screen name Blackzilla99. If, after reading this, you hate me, that's ok. I understand. At least I was honest. If you want to tell me off, that's ok too. I respond to all e-mails. We can chat if you like, or whatever. Thanks for listening to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
When I was done writing I felt great, like there was a load off my mind. Plus it helped kill some time before I was to go out that evening to meet a friend. I went back to the Yahoo personals site and filtered out the ads by women in the New York, Westchester, area. It was as usual, a variety of women looking for the same old shit. I still had an hour to kill, so I started to copy and paste this ad response to every one of these women who had claimed she wanted an honest man. Race, age or body type didn't matter. If they said they wanted honesty I gave it to them. After replying to about a hundred ads (fortunately I have DSL) I got bored. Also it was time for me to go out to pick up my friends.
As I was going out I wondered if anybody would write me back. I expected some juicy hate mail, but I didn't care. I guess it was the troublemaker in me. A part of me, though, felt bad. I knew that some of those women would be real pissed off with what they found in their e-mail mailboxes. But I also figured that some would get a laugh out of it.
Waking the next day around noon I fired up my pc and went into my mailbox. I was amazed to find about 30 email responses. As expected, many were from pissed-off women. About 20 basically told me to go fuck myself, while about 5 thanked me for at least being honest. One email got my attention. The subject line read " I like your style, we share a common bond... Let's party... Zilla." In the e-mail she said she lived in Scarsdale, which was the next town over. That alone got me excited. (Shit! it was five minutes away!) She said how funny she thought I was, and how I made complete sense. She said she'd just moved to NY from Florida, and how bored she was. She was white and had never been with a black man, though she'd always wanted to have sex with one. Her name was Terri, she was 27 years old, about 5' 5", weighed around 135 pounds and had short black hair. What most excited me was her saying that most of her weight was in her hips and ass. Just that one sentence got my dick hard. But the last sentence was the stopper. "My phone number, Mr. Blackzilla, is 555-5555. I don't play games either, so if you want to party call me... I dare you... lol..."
Was this woman fucking with me? I was excited, but doubtful. Twenty seconds of thought later I reached for my phone. While dialing I thought: She's got some nerve to dare me! The old saying ran through my head, " Momma didn't raise no punk." I love a challenge. If she wanted to play I would play with her. The phone rang three times before a very soft, sexy voice answered.
"Hi. Can I speak to Terri?" I used my manliest voice, trying to sound cool.
"Yes, this is she."
I heard a faint giggle. Fuck it, I thought. Let's see where this goes.
"Who's this?" said the voice.
I said: "Hi. This is Blackzilla. You sent me your number.
"Hi. How are you? I didn't really think you'd call."
"Well, in your email you dared me."
We chatted about half an hour. She had a pleasant voice, soft and sweet, and seemed really nice. She also had a great sense of humor, which I loved. We talked about sex and how much we both liked it. The more we talked the more I liked her. Then she said,
"So, Mr. Zilla, what are your plans for today."?
"Nothing much. Why, what are you doing?" I asked
"Well, I was hoping I might find some black guy to fill my pussy to capacity," she said, laughing.
I also laughed. It was funny to hear her quote my ad response. I said,
"Just give me an hour to shower and get ready, baby. I'll be there in a heart beat."
I said it as if it was a joke. Though I really wanted her I didn't know if I should take her seriously. She was silent for a while...
Then she said, " I wasn't kidding. Do you want to come over?"
I took about a tenth of a second to think of my reply. "Hell, yeah, I want to come over."
"Do you know where Garth Road is in Scarsdale? My address is 1574 Garth Rd, my apartment number is 4k," she said in her sweet voice.
I like a woman with a sweet voice. Then I thought, could I trust this girl? Is she serious or can she be playing a game with me? What if it's a fake address, or something weird like that?
I said, "Hey, Terri, I hope you're not playing games. If you are, then let me tell you, it won't be appreciated."
I spoke seriously, wanting her to know I wasn't playing around. I also wanted her to know who was in control.
.... There is more of this story ...