Copyright © 1999

Dear Diary:

I feel guilty as hell ya know, for doing this, but I figure what the hell, who's gonna see it, right? What I did was tape some conversations with my best friend Lisa the last couple nights. Thing is, I did some manipulating during the conversations to get Lisa excited. Thought I'd transcribe it here just for kicks, ya know? Play it back for her one night when things are slow, for laughs, ya know? Then "we'll'' erase it.

Anyway, here goes. If YOU find this, please don't read it, any of it. Just mail it to me c/o Rachel Glenn, 453 West Travers St. Windom, WI. and I'll send you a reward. It will more than cover the postage and stuff with enough left over to take a friend to dinner, okay? Please?

Friday, April 23, 1999, it is 9 PM.

R: "Okay, I'm jumping the gun a little, hmmm? I guess I'm looking forward to the wedding, okay?"

L: "Okay, okay, okay, so tell me about your cousins. What kinda dresses are they wearing to the wedding?"

R: Well, my Aunt Viola told me Brenda, she's the oldest, is wearing deep green velvet, with white lace around the collar. And Josie, I think she's sixteen, ummm, Brenda's maybe nineteen... yeah I think nineteen. Anyway Josie's wearing an equally deep burgundy and of course she's got the lace collar too.

L: "What kinda shape are they in?"

R: "Hmmmmm. It's been a while since I've seen them. Last time tho, Brenda was about 5' 2" with good sized boobs to go along with a pretty good shape. You'd go down on both of 'em if ya got the chance."

L: "Ohhhh, I'm heating up already!"

R: "Down girl!"

L: Can't help it. I saw this lovely young thing at the mall today. Couldn't have been a day over fourteen. No bra, nipple's out to here... and checking ME out! She actually smiled at me! I wanted soooo much to talk with her, but her Mother was close by and..."

R: "You're better off, that's nothing but Jailbait, with a capital J. I know, I know, they look so fucking yummy, but ya dare not touch, or owwwwch!

L: (Laughing) "Right! Still, I almost came from looking at those budding nips of hers. Shit, I can't hold off, my fingers are... doing their thing. Ummmmm, I'm slippery as shit."

R: "Eeew! You're disgusting. Want me to call back?"

L: "No! Let's keep talking." (Sound fades out momentarily.)

L: "I know! We'll talk and as I get close I tell you what's going on. Just like phone sex! Okay?"

R: "Okay."

L: "Tell me more about your cousins."

R: "Not much to tell. I haven't seen 'em for a while. Brenda's kinda nice, but I don't know that I'd move on her, ya know?"

L: "Yeah, ohhhh yeah.

R: "Getting close?"

L: "Naw, just feelin' pretty good, ya know?"

R: "Oh yeah."

L: "Tell me, umm, 'bout the younger one."

R: "Josie?"

L: "Yeah, Josie."

R: "Kinda hard to say, she was a skinny thirteen year old last time I saw her. No tits, but a nice trim ass and a very pretty face. Big tits seem to run in the family, so..."

L: "Yeah... but what happened to you? Get left out of the will?"

(Lots of laughter.)

R: "Big, small, you can't seem to get enough of them."

L: "Sorry hon, your tits are perfect for my mouth and fingers."

R: "Better be sorry. I'm sensitive about my size."

L: "Oh don't be. They're great and look how good you look in a dress. Ya don't have the big boobies to contend with. Dress size isn't important with your figure and small tits help a lot."

R: "What're your fingers doing?"

L: Two of 'em are stirring up some pussy soup. (Laughter) I can't wait to meet them. Hey! Maybe we can..."

R: "No way Jose... (Laughter) I mean no way. Too close to home."

L: "So you fancy Josie 'eh?"

R; "I fancy both, but just like you walked away from the kid this afternoon... well I'm not gonna talk about it anymore."

L: "So what are they doing? I mean going to college? Engaged? What?"

R: "Josie's going into her senior year in high school. Big boobs Brenda, I don't know. Maybe she's engaged, but I haven't heard. Maybe she's gonna spring the ring, ya know?"

L: "Could be. Maybe she's as horny as we are too."

R: "Shut up!" (Laughter.)

L: "Come on! Nothing ventured nothing gained as the saying goes."

R: "Okay wise guy, just how would you approach 'em? Your fingers are busy, what does that fevered imagination of yours have to say?"

L: "Mmmmmmmmmm, gimme a minute, Rach."

R: "Oh, ya workin' on your clittie are ya?"

L: "Yeah, I'm close too. Lemme finish this off first okay?"

R: "Sure hon, just make it nice and loud so the neighbors and I can hear it all." (Laughter)

L: "Ughh, ughhhh, fuck you!" (Laughing and crying) "Oh, oh, Yes! Yes! Yesssss!"

R: "Cum for me baby!" (Shouting) "Come on... cum for me!"

L: "Oh!... Oh!... Oh!... Yes! Sooo good! Damn that's good! Oh yes!

R: "That's my girl! Yesssss!"

(A minute or so passes with no comment. Only a heavy, panting kind of breathing can be heard over the slight tape hiss.)

R: "Lisa?"

L: "Yeah? Ohhh, it's still... coursing through me babe. Mmmmm, soooooo very, very nice. Like it was a great one, ya know?"

R: "Oh yeah. Been there, done that. Feeling good huh?"

L: "Well... might have been better if you were next to me, ya know?"

R: "Wish I was... Oh, love. You've got my breath coming so hard. I... I'm touching my cuny now and it's all on account of you babe."

L: (Laughing) "Bullshit, but I love it."

R: "Come on now, tell me what we'd do to my cousins if we met 'em, say the night before the wedding. Ya know, like we're out on the town or something."

L: "Okay, let's see... okay, okay, I've got a scene for ya. Ya ready? Oh you're gonna get off on this."

R: "For sure. Oh shit!" (Rustling sounds)

L: "What?"

R: "The fucking door. Someone's at the door. Look, let me answer it and I'll get back to you, okay love?"

L: "Yeah sure. If for some reason ya can't, I won't be home 'til Monday. I'm going to Vermont with Kevin, so call me on Monday for sure, right?"

R: You got it kiddo. Bye Love."

L: "Kisses baby."

(Click.)

Monday, April 26, 1999, it is 8 PM.

L: "Hello?"

R: "Hi Lisa. How'd the weekend go?"

L: "Great, Rach, Kevin and I managed to snuggle up a couple times without being interrupted. So all in all, a pretty good time was had by all."

L: "So, how was your weekend?"

R: "Ya wouldn't believe it. Remember Friday night? We were talking on the phone and someone was at the door?"

L: "Yeah, yeah, so who was it? Tell me it was Mel Gibson."

R: "Ha, ha, ha, very funny. No it wasn't Mel, he came by this morning."

L: "Oh get real. Who was it?"

R: "It was Brenda."

L: "No shit?" Brenda huh? Deja vu or something huh?"

R: "Yeah, kinda, sort of. And guess who was down stairs waiting in a new Lexus convertible?"

L: "The younger one, what's her name?"

R: "Josie, and let me tell ya, she's all grown up."

L: "Go girl! And... ?"

R: Tits out to here!"

L: "No!"

R: "Listen, her tits are bigger than her older sister's and she's just turned seventeen!"

L: " Oh, my God! So... so what happened?"

R: "They're in town for the wedding this weekend. Are you eating something?"

L: "Yeah, a bagel, with cream cheese and lox. How'd you know?"

R: "I can hear ya chompin' on it fool! Anyway, they got here a week early, said they needed to a lot of shopping in the big city. But what they really wanted... "

L: "Come on Rach, don't be a bitch now, spit it out. Come on; give with all the facts, I want all the dirt. Let's have it. Did you get them laid?"

R: "Not exactly."

L: "What the hell does not exactly mean?" (Garbled)

R: " I can't understand half of what you're saying. Will ya put the bagel down for a minute?"

L: "Okay, okay. Go on, what happened?"

R: "Lemme start at the beginning all right?"

L: "Yes, yes of course, the beginning. Tell me everything. Wait, wait, I'm gonna make myself comfortable. Hold on a second."

Almost 2 minutes elapse.

L: "All right, I'm back. Are you there Rach?"

R: "Yeah, yeah, you sure took your time. Did you have a nice bowel movement?"

L: "You can be so crude sometimes Rach, ya know?"

R: "Ya did didn't'cha." (Laughter) "Anyway, soooo Brenda tells me they want me to take them out for a night on the town. They wanna see the Big Apple."

L: "Shit, I hope you had some money on hand."

R: "No problemo! Brenda had Daddy's credit card. Nothing's too good for his darlings."

L: "Damn! I wish I'd been at your place when they came knocking."

R: "Ummmmm, me too, on account of what happened later. But first things first."

L: "Oh, I gotta feeling this is gonna be goooooooood!"

R: "Right. Anyway, we're all three of us out on the town celebrating. Both girls had false I.D.'s that went unchallenged. Besides, Brenda and Josie both looked far older than they were. For sure."

L: "Ohhhhhhhhh, this is good!"

R: "Are you playing with yourself already?"

L: "So what if I am?"

R: "Well it might be a long story."

L: "Let 'er rip. I can handle it."

R: "You mean you can finger it, don'cha?"

(Laughter)

R: "Sooooo, we're in this bar drinking Tequila shots, ya know, the lime and the salt thing, and laughin' and giggling over a game where we guess which guy has the biggest dick without really getting to find out. Would you believe this was Josie's idea?"

L: "Christ, I'm kinda wet babe. So Josie's got a creative mind eh?"

R: "Oh, yeah she certainly has. Keep them fingers fluttering Lisa, by the time I'm finished you'll need a mop to clean up the flood. Ya don't have a Johnny Mop there by any chance, do ya?"

L: "Ooooooh... ooooh... y... you have the weirdest sense of humor Rach."

R: "Anyway, I decide to visit the ladies. To my delight, little Josie volunteers to go with me. So we leave luscious Brenda to scope out the dangling ganglia and waltz into the restroom. Oh, oh, I nearly forgot to tell ya, ever since I laid eyes on Josie that night I couldn't keep my hands off her. Let me tell ya... oh, and Brenda gave me a long, tight hug when I first opened the door and that should have told me something. Except I was too surprised at them being there in the first place."

L: "You were saying about Josie?"

R: "Oh, yeah. Well, I grabbed a few things threw 'em in my purse and ran down to see Josie. Wow! She really knocked me out! I mean I last saw her as an Olive Oil type. Ya know? Of course I might have expected her to have some buds on her chest, but Jesus, she had the most beautiful pair of tits I ever saw in my life. Lisa, I got so wet thinking about those tits... but wait, I'm ahead of myself."

L: "Ooooooh, don't keep me waiting Rach, I've got four fingers going wild and maybe I'll get my whole hand up there... Ohhhhhh I'm starting to get a good feeling! Hang on there. Let me see if I can finish this... Oh my God, yes! Yesssss! Ohhhhhh God! Oh God! Oh God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!"

(Sounds of heavy breathing)

R: "You with me Lisa?"

L: "Mmmmmmmmm. Yeah... Ohhhh... Yeah, yeah I'm with you. Jeeze that was nice. I wish you were here with me right now love. I feel sooooo good.

R: "Want me to call back later?"

L: "No! No, tell me more. I'll be fine now. For a while anyway. (Laughter)

R: "Shit! I've lost my thought. Where was I?"

L: (Laughing) "I'm not sure. Let's see, the sixteen year old had this great pair of tits... "

R: "She's seventeen! And they are God-awful. I mean they are fantastic! She's wearing this tube top... "

L: "I thought they were out of fashion?"

R: "Well if they are she's reintroducing 'em and the stores that sell 'em will be sold out by tomorrow!" No, my love, they are back. It's just that we don't travel in that circle and have... God, I can't believe I'm saying this... gotten out of touch with that age group.

L: "Well not as out of touch as you make it sound. So she's wearing the tube top... ?"

R: "Yeah and a black micro mini, and that has a slit up the side, maybe four to six inches."

L: "So Josie's got her best fuck me outfit on, then what?"

R: "Well, we're playing this game, guessing schlong sizes... "

L: "What's a schlong?"

R: "Oh gimme a break. Guess?"

L: "A dick, cock, prick... ?"

R: "Right, right, right. Now, we're playing the game and I'm taking every opportunity to touch the both of 'em. You know... "

L: "Oh, I know all right. Remember the night we picked up that crazy redhead in Queens... "

R: "Right, except she was from Queens. We were in Manhattan when we picked her up.

L: "Yeah, so what happened?"

R: "Well, I'm waiting for the right moment to maybe find three guys to hook up with... I mean, guys are all they talked about. The sophisticated New York stud was sort of what they had in mind. I've never seen one up close, but ya never know. Then Josie said she had to go to the ladies and I hopped off my stool and joined her. Brenda stayed behind to watch our places. Josie went in first and began checking under the booths to make sure we were alone. I took this as a very positive sign."

L: "I'll bet, and then?"

R: "I asked her, just to make sure, you know? I said, 'What the hell are ya doing?' And she says, 'Making sure we're alone.' So I ask her 'Are we?' And she throws her arms around me and kisses me hard on the mouth in answer."

L: "No way!"

R: "I was stunned! I mean, sure I'd had the hot's for Josie ever since I met her again. Anyway, I broke the kiss off, hating myself for it, but at the same time realizing it was the sane thing to do. And I asked her what the hell she thought she was doing, you know?"