One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was to start keeping a diary, it was also one of the best things that I ever did. I started jotting things down when I was twelve and as I grew up my entries grew more and more detailed until I was writing everything in my diary and I mean everything. My hopes, my dreams, and my wishes they all got written down. When my periods started and finished, my first time with a man, my most recent sexual adventure, who, where, when, how and how many times, it all went into my diary. At seventeen I had gone through a lot of diaries, each one was lovingly wrapped and stored in my dresser, each one containing memories to be read and savoured and each damned one containing at least one entry a month detailing what I felt for my father.
It was my greatest secret, my greatest shame and my greatest desire all rolled into one, I wanted to have sex with my father. I'd had this desire since I was eleven and over the years it had grown rather than diminished, but I knew that it could never be. Nevertheless I wrote all the things I wanted my father to do to me in my diaries in full, glorious detail, I could climax just reading some of those entries. The latest diary was the worst of the lot, each week contained an entry detailing what I wanted my father to do to me ranging
The trouble started when my stepmother found my diaries. They all had locks, but she was a nosy cow and the locks were simple affairs that could be opened with a pin; I came home from school to find her fuming in the living room with one of my early diaries in her hand.
"You dirty minded little bitch!" she spat at me waving the diary in the air.
Seeing the diary I knew that there was no point in playing dumb so I played outraged instead, snatching the diary from her hand I glared at my stepmother.
"Just who the hell do you think you are prying into my private things?" I snarled, "It's bad enough you go digging around in my room, but to pick the lock on one of my diaries is going way too far!"
"Not far enough by the looks of it," she snapped back, "you are sick, perverted! Just wait until your father hears about this, he'll have you put away!"
There was no love lost between my step-mother and myself, there never had been, I had hated her from the moment I had met her; I saw the side of her my father never seemed to notice, the vicious, scheming, spiteful side, but I had never mentioned it to my father as I knew he loved her. She had filled the gap left in his heart when my mother had died. The thought of her telling my father what was in my diaries filled me with dread, dad was broad minded, but even he would be sickened by what he read. I knew pleading with my stepmother not to tell my father would do no good so I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances, went to my room and cried. I retreated with my stepmother railing me all the way up the stairs, slamming my door I threw myself on my bed and wept like a little girl. My father would be home all too soon and I just knew that the first thing he would hear was all about the entries in my diaries. Looking over at my dresser I saw that the drawer where I kept my diaries was still open, the diaries themselves were strewn all over the dresser and floor, sniffing back my tears I went over to the dresser and gathered the diaries together. Every one of them had been opened, my step-mother had really done a job on them and must have spent ages going through them, sighing I replaced them in the drawer, closed it then headed back to my bed. From downstairs I heard the sound of the front door opening and I knew that my father was home, my step-mother's rasping voice greeted him in the hall and even through my closed bedroom door I could hear her shouting out her news, wiping my eyes I headed for the door to face the music.
"Disgusting, quite disgusting!" my stepmother was saying in her prim, 'butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth' voice.
I looked at my father, his face was livid, I had never seen him looking so angry and for a moment I wondered if he would do what my stepmother had claimed he would do, have me locked up in a sanatorium. My heart sank as he looked in my direction, there was disgust in his eyes, it broke my heart to think that what I had written would drive my father from me and I felt tears streaming down my face as my cheeks went red with shame.
"Shut up Grace!" Dad snapped at my stepmother.
"What? But I..." she gaped.
"SHUT UP!" Dad roared, "I've heard just about enough out of you. How dare you got through Lisa's things? Just what gives you the right to pry into other people's private affairs?"
"But Adam," she gasped, "I was only..."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, my father wasn't angry with me he was angry with her, but despite that I knew that he would soon turn his attention to me and I dreaded that moment.
"You were only nosing around, prying into matters that don't concern you!" Dad went on in a low voice full of anger, "The same way you pry into my business papers and don't even dare to deny it. I've let you get away with murder Grace, I've even turned a blind eye to all your fancy men, but not this time, oh no."
"Adam I don't know what you mean." my step-mother said haughtily, "I've always been faithful to you."
"What you mean is you've always come back to me!" Dad snapped, "Not the same thing at all. Well it's over Grace, finished. I got a call from your latest lover today, he called me some rather nasty names because I wouldn't give you a divorce..."
My stepmother had gone pale as my father spoke, it was a shock to me to learn that she had been having lovers, but in hindsight I don't know why I was so surprised about it. She was just the sort of woman to act that way, dad was her meal ticket, and the rest were her fun.
"I put his mind at rest," Dad continued, "he'll be here in an hour to pick you up. You'd better go and pack all your things because I don't want you within a mile of this house again!"
She tried to sweet-talk him into changing his mind, but the blinkers had been torn from his eyes and he would have none of her sugary words; even her tears didn't affect him and she retreated sobbing to pack her bags. Then my father turned his attention to me, I gulped in anticipation of his outburst.
"Go to your room Lisa." He said quietly then turned away from me.
Stunned I watched him trudge into the living room; with a sob I ran up to my room and threw myself on my bed. I'd been ready for anything but that quiet dismissal, it had hurt me more than a thousand sharp words would have done. In my heart I knew that he didn't love me any more and I sobbed into my pillow desolately. Some time later I heard my step-mother going down the stairs, pleading and wailing at my father to let her stay, not to throw her out; my father's reply was so loud that I heard every word of it in my room.
"Throw you out?" Dad roared, "Be glad I don't toss you through that door on your fanny! After your latest lover called I did a bit of digging, you've been at it since the day we got back from our honeymoon, I've got some professionals working on it now and everything they find will be brought out in court! God what a blind fool I've been!"
"At least I've only committed adultery!" my stepmother screeched back, "I don't have perverted fantasies about my father!"
"Probably because you don't know who he is!" Dad retorted, "And just for your education, almost all children, boy or girl, get a crush on their mother or father, they grow out of it which is more than can said for you! Now get out!"
The front door slammed loudly and then there was silence, ages passed as I sat crying alone while I waited for my father to call me down, with every minute that passed my visions of his punishment grew to horrifying proportions, I imagined him being on the telephone calling a sanatorium to take me away. I nearly jumped out of my skin when there was a gentle tap-tap at the door to my room.
"Come in." I sniffed trying to stop the flow of my tears.
My father came into the room, he looked at me and smiled.
"Well," He sighed sadly, "you did warn me. Ah well, it's over now."
"Dad," I rushed in, "about my diaries..."
"I'm sorry about that Lisa," Dad sighed as he came over to me, "I never really believed what Grace was truly like although I think I knew it all along but just didn't want to accept it."
I was very puzzled, my father was apologising to me for what had happened, it was as though he was unconcerned with my sick desires, my heart leapt at the thought that he was not going to punish me or send me away.
"You won't send me away will you?" I blurted in my relief.
"Why on earth would I send you away?" He laughed.
"For what I wrote," I sighed, "the things I want...I mean wanted to do with you."
"Oh that," He grinned, "Lisa I've known about those things that you wrote for years. Who do you think kept your room tidy until recently? Not Grace, that's for sure and definitely not a growing little girl."
"You read them?" I gasped in surprise.
"Only when you left them lying around unlocked." He grinned as he sat on the bed beside me, "I have to admit that I was a little surprised the first time I came across an entry about me, but after a while I felt flattered. You certainly do have a fertile imagination though young lady."
"You really don't mind?" I gaped at him.
"Not in the least." He replied with a laugh, "I used to have the same sort of fantasies about my mother. Anyway, you should know me better than that, I don't give a damn what people do as long as they..."
"Don't hurt anyone." I finished for him, "But incest?"
"Why not," He grinned, "if it gives someone pleasure what difference does it make who you do it with. Why the hell should I get all het up over a couple committing incest, they aren't bothering me so why should I bother them."
I breathed a deep sigh of relief and cursed my own foolishness for forgetting just how open minded my father was. Hell, he had brought me up to accept people for what they were not as I would like them to be, he'd even made sure that I was safely on the pill the minute I started to show an interest in boys. Not once had my father restricted me, not once had he suggested I that shouldn't enjoy sex, I should have known that he wouldn't be shocked by anything in my diaries and I silently cursed myself again. Then I wondered how many of my entries he had read, I looked at him and smiled, he gave me a wink and grinned then went to stand up.
"Dad," I said quickly, "how much of my scribbling did you read?"
"Only a few entries here and there," He laughed, "usually I was in too much of a rush to do more than lock them for you."
"Would you like to read them?" I offered on the spur of the moment, "All of them?"
"Lisa, I don't want to intrude on your private memories." He smiled tussling my hair, "Thanks for the offer though."
"No, I mean it dad," I smiled, "if you would like to read all the dirt I won't mind at all and it won't be an intrusion."
"Well I must admit to being curious about my little girl's activities." Dad laughed, "If you're sure then I'll have a browse after dinner. Speaking of which I'd better go get it ready."
"Why not phone an order through to the chinkies?" I suggested.
"You're on." He laughed.
Dad left me alone and while he was downstairs ordering our dinner I gathered up five years worth of diaries and took them down to the living room.
"It will be ready by the time I get there," Dad said as I entered the living room, "won't be long love."
He wasn't, half an hour after he had gone he was back again and with him came the wonderful smell of Chinese food; we dished up quickly and gorged ourselves on rice, noodles, chicken, and pork. Stuffed we sat back and sighed, laughing as we both made the same sound at the same time, for some reason the house seemed to be much more relaxed and I put this down to Grace's departure. My father poured us both an after dinner drink while I sorted the stack of diaries out into their years, grinning my father handed me my glass and sat down beside me, leaning forward he picked up the first dairy and opened it. He read quietly, sipping from his glass and chuckling from time to time at something I had written. I felt excited by the fact that my father was reading what I had written both about him and my other boyfriends. When his glass was empty I fixed him another drink, he thanked me and went back to my diaries with a huge smile on his face.
"Well I'll be damned." He said suddenly.
"What?" I asked feeling a little worried at his exclamation.
"The dirty old bugger," Dad laughed and I knew that he had come across the entry where I had detailed my first sexual experience, "I never would have believed that old boy would have had the strength, he must have been seventy if he was a day."
Laughing he continued reading, I felt relief and excitement as he went over all my most intimate details, relief that he was not upset or annoyed, excited at his learning of my exploits. A little while later he closed the diary, put it on the table and reached for the next one.
"You've been a busy little girl." He commented with a grin as he opened the second diary.
"In case you hadn't noticed," I responded with a broad grin, "I'm not a little girl any more."
"Oh I had noticed all right." Dad laughed looking at my boobs.
"Dad!" I laughed pushing out my chest a bit more.
He grinned then went back to his reading. Over the next couple of hours he read all of my diaries except the latest one, while he read I'd kept our glasses topped up and sat watching him with a growing feeling of excitement. From time to time he'd make a comment or jokingly dig at me for something I had done and I'd respond in kind. Putting the last diary aside my father looked at me and grinned.
"You have been a busy girl." He said with a sparkle in his eyes, "I'm surprised that you are still writing about me though what with all your other adventures. Did you really get laid by a coach party?"
"Yes," I laughed, "I really did and a drunken lot of sods they were too."
Dad was referring to an entry about my bust up with a boyfriend half way back to London on the M4 motorway, the bastard had pulled over, thrown me out of the car and driven away. In pouring rain I'd walked to a service station where a works party was boozing up on the last leg of their return trip, they'd been going my way and I had been only too happy to accept their offer of a lift knowing full well that I risked getting the arse fucked off me if I wasn't careful. I'd been careful, but not careful enough; though I'm not quite sure where I made my mistake, getting on the coach probably, whatever the reason I ended up getting screwed on the back seat by twenty guys who could barely stand, which didn't stop them lying down, on top of me that is. Grinning at my father I pulled the current diary from under me, the cover was warm where I had been sitting on it and dad laughed as I handed it to him.
"This one must be hot stuff," He quipped, "the cover's warm."
"It's my current diary," I laughed, "it's warm because I've been sitting on it."
He smiled and opened the book, his eyes flicked over the entries reading them and digesting their contents; he'd almost reached the end when his eyebrows shot to the top of his head. By his reaction I knew he had reached the part where I described what my latest boyfriend had taught me about bondage and spanking, I felt a little worried that I had shocked him because at the end of the entry I had underlined 'God I loved it, my bum is till burning, I wish dad would do the same to me'.
Closing the diary my father looked at me and smiled, he drained his glass and put it on the table then sat back and sighed.
"I was right," He said softly, "it was hot stuff. God I wish I'd had half the opportunities you've had."
"Oh come on dad," I laughed, "I'm sure you've done everything in my diaries and then some."
"Not really," He grinned, "I've never been gang-banged by a coach load of women for one."
"Oh you know what I mean." I grimaced at his reminder of that night.
"Actually love," He smiled sadly, "There are a lot of things I haven't done."
"Like what?" I challenged.
"Like having my cock sucked," He sighed, "your mother wouldn't do it and Grace refused point blank. Oh and like buggery and outdoors and bondage and spanking. Shall I go on?"
"No," I laughed, "I get the idea. What you need is a woman who will suck you to erection, with her hands tied behind her back, who will then let you bugger her while spanking her at the same time, oh yes and all in the middle of a field."
"Something like that." Dad laughed, "Do you know someone like that?"
"Only one person." I grinned then frowned, "Dad, you don't mind that I do all these things do you?"
"Not at all darling." He grinned, "I may feel a little jealous, but mind? Hell no. Enjoy yourself for as long as you can Lisa, if I'd had the same opportunities I'd have done everything you've done and more. Things weren't quite so easy in my youth and once I was married I stuck to my vows no matter what the temptation was."
"Well you've no vows to stick to now." I laughed, "Why not make up for lost time?"
"Sounds like a good idea," He laughed, "tell me the name of this woman you know and I'll take it from there."
"Lisa." I said softly.
My father's jaw hit the floor and I blushed as he stared at me, I'd blurted out my name while wishing that he'd take me up on it, now I knew that if there had ever been a chance of having sex with my father I had blown it. Closing his mouth my father shook his head and stood up, he went over to the drinks cabinet and poured himself a very large scotch, which he downed in one go before turning to face me.
"Are you serious?" He asked with a frown.
"Yes." I admitted.
"Do you realise what you are suggesting Lisa?" He said with a shake of his head, "Fantasy is one thing, but to really...are you sure it's what you really want?"
"I'm positive." I replied firmly with growing hope.
"Well," Dad drawled taking a deep breath, "shall we find a field then?"
His sudden grin made my heart soar, I couldn't believe that my wildest dreams were coming true and I laughed loudly as I stood up and went over to him, he took me in his arms and grinned at me. The next moment his lips were pressing on mine, an electric tingle ran through me making my pussy wet and my nipples hard as he kissed me in a very un-fatherly way, when he parted our lips I felt breathless and hot. Raising a hand I started to tug at his shirt buttons, dad laughed and stroked my buttocks.
"My, aren't you the eager one." He laughed as his hand slid up my back.
"You've no idea how long I've dreamt about this." I laughed as I felt my zip being pulled down.
In the space of a few minutes we had stripped each other naked, and amid a pile of discarded clothing my father turned me to face him and held me out at arms length to study my body. At the same time I let my eyes drop to his cock, it was semi-erect and looked massive; licking my lips I decided to do one of the things he had said he'd never done before.
"You are beautiful Lisa," Dad sighed, "but I've always known that anyway."
He let go of me and smiled as his eyes travelled over my body again making my skin tingle with excitement wherever he looked, smiling back at him I dropped slowly to my knees with my hands running down his sides. Close to his cock looked huge, larger than any I had seen before and I had seen quite a few, I looked up and smiled at the sight of his face flushed with excitement at the thought of what I was about to do, he wasn't the only one hot under the collar about it either. Taking his cock in my hand I rubbed it gently then leant forward and took the cap into my mouth, I ran my tongue around the base of his cap and heard my father groan with pleasure as his cock shot to full erection. Sighing I sucked at his cap for a while then pushed my mouth down over his shaft with my tongue sliding on the underside of his hard flesh; when I could get no more in my mouth I covered the rest of his cock with my hand and began to slide my mouth up and down his length while wanking him with my hand.
"Jesus that's good!" Dad gasped as I sucked him slowly.