"What about Todd?" Amber asked the group of girls.

The general response was one of disblief. There were looks of disgust and one of the girls put her finger in her throat to voice her opinion, which was "Gaak".

The other girls laughed. The conversation went on.

Amber smiled nervously.

"Todd is a toad, he isn't even in the running." Lynn who was Todd's sister said, unable to believe her best friend would even bring him up in the contest.

The girls were part of the Lorimar Hornets cheerleading squad. It was a Saturday night and after a day of shopping, then laying out by the pool, then several hours of movies, they were now having a discussion about who the sexiest boys in school were and if they would fuck them given a chance. Of course the old familiar names came up, the boys that the girls had agreed on previous such occasions were the sexiest boys they knew.

Each of the girls was a beauty in her own right, but everyone agreed that amber was the prettiest of them. Amber was a redhead with olive skin, she had the most beautiful green eyes that all the other girls were jealous of, they were exotic eyes.

Her father was from the middle east and her mother was American, her parents had divorced when Amber was still a small girl. Amber had been moved back to the United States by her mother and she had grown up a typical California valley girl. Amber had been cheerleading since she was very young, she had also been hit on by every boy they had been discussing and she had turned them all down. Amber had a very private secret, that she felt she could not share with her friends.

After Lynn so throughly shot down her suggestion that Todd might be included in the list, she knew she could not say anything. None of the other girls noticed that Amber grew quiet and pensive. She pretended to be looking through a magazine. They were all Seniors in high school and enjoyed their position over the younger cheerleaders who were not invited to the party.

Soon after, the girls grew tired and slowly one by one they lay down to sleep, Lynn turned out the light and climbed into her bed. Amber shared the bed with her best friend. Jody and Karen were sleeping on the big air filled mattress that Lynn kept for her guests to sleep on.

Amber lay with her eyes closed, but she couldn't sleep. She waited until she could not wait any longer.

Todd lay staring at the ceiling of his room on the second floor. His window looked out over the back yard. He lay watching the strange patterns that the reflected light from the pool below threw onto his ceiling. Todd lay with his hands behind his head.

Todd was twenty years old, attending college and working after classes to pay for his car and his insurance. His father had forbid him to work, he wanted his son to concentrate on his studies. Todd had gotten a full acedimic scholarship and his father did not want his grades slipping. But Todd was a solid A student. He should be he studied all the time it seemed. His friends from high school had scattered, not that he had many to begin with. Todd was in that class of people that other's did not want to associate with, not because he smelled or was a homicidal maniac or anything, he was just ordinary with an extra ordinary mind.

All his life he had been painfully shy, he was teased about his weight and the fact he had to wear glasses, it was not until he graduated from high school that he found himself exercising, running, working out in the garage with his father's weights. His father had been an athlete when he was younger. Todd felt his father was dissappointed in him for not being a jock. Todd had felt intimidated with his father's overbearing personality. Lynn was more his child than Todd was. Lynn was the athelete and got the brunt of the parental attention.

Todd had learned not to expect his parents at a school function that conflicted with one of Lynn's performances and he learned not to be hurt by it. In actuality he was glad Lynn took the full focus of their attention off of him and on herself.

His father was always on him about finding a girlfriend, he thought Todd was a sissy, a limp wrist, he had never bought a girl home to meet his parents, he had never gone out on a date. If he did attend a function, he went stag or with his friends who didn't have girlfriends either. Given that he was so shy and even though he now sported a lean slender look instead of the pudgy soft look, he still had no luck with girls, he always managed to say the wrong thing or spill something on them if they tried to talk to him.

Todd lay awake even though it was late. He had a small smile on his lips. If they only knew. They wouldn't think he was a sissy boy any longer, but he couldn't tell anyone, he had promised.

Amber slowly got out of Lynn's bed, she crept to the door and opened it, she could claim to be going to the bathroom if one of the girls woke up. She hated this part, she hated the sneaking, she wished she could tell her best friend but due to the course of the conversation that night, she knew she couldn't tell anyone, for fear of being ostrisized by her own peers.

Amber was wearing a long white silk gown that hugged her body sensously, she had not wanted to take part in the makeover and had sat out reading a magazine while the other girls played dress up. Amber had always been more mature in her actions than her friends. She sometimes felt like a stranger in her own body. She had the figure of a full grown woman as opposed to the teenage bodies of her friends, she was often mistaken for being much older than she was. She felt her breasts rolling heavily beneath her gown, her nipples grew extremely erect as she thought about what she was doing.

The fabric of the gown did not excite her much, it was the anticipation that had been building all day as she considered the implications of what she was about to do.

Amber climbed the stairs, quietly listening for any strange sounds in the silent house. She was cool, she was calm and her heart was beating so hard she was afraid everyone in the house could hear it. Her mouth was dry and her palms were sweating. Amber touched her hair, patting it down, then she tugged her gown down, it was just a little tight at her wide hips, hugging her body tightly but not constricting. Jody had commented that if she wasn't careful Amber would have a fat ass.

Amber eased up to the last door at the end of the hall, she put her hand on the doorknob and gently turned it. She eased the door open then slipped in, closing the door behind her, she leaned against it, her heart about to pound out her chest.

"Todd?" she whispered, she was able to see him laying on his back on his bed, the room was filled with exploding waves from the pool.

"I'm awake." he said in a normal voice.

"Ssssssh, you'll wake up the entire house." she cautioned him.

"You could set a bomb off in here and no one could hear it." he said turning his head to look at Amber.

Todd took a deep breath then sighed as he let it out.

"Are you sure?" she asked in a slightly louder voice. She cocked her head, she could not hear anything abnormal.

"I'm sure." he said.

Amber stood at his door breathing hard. She held a hand to her chest and tried to relax.

"What do you want Amber?" he asked her softly.

Amber stared at him from the door. For the longest time, the only sound was her breathing.

"You." she finally said.

Todd held out a hand to her and she slowly walked forward, she reached and put her hand in his, he drew her onto the bed.

Amber kneeled on the side of his bed, looking down at him.

"I missed you." he said pulling her by the arm down to him.

Amber lay beside him stretching her long legs out beside him, she was laying half on him her arm across his chest her fingers resting on his left nipple, she gently brushed it, she rested her chin on her forearm as she stared into his eyes.

He didn't have his glasses on and she could see his hazel eyes, Amber touched his cheek with her other hand, her fingers stroking along his cheek, she ran a finger down the bridge of his nose, to his lips, gently touching him.

"I missed you too." she whispered and leaned forward to give his lips a small peck.

He smiled at her.

"Hi." he said reflecting her touch on her face with his own fingers, he used his fingers to push her hair back over her ear so he could see her face.

Amber smiled back at him, her eyes gazing into his.

"Hi." she whispered shyly to him.

"So how was the hen party?" he asked her.

"You will be happy to know that you were not on the sexiest guys to fuck list once again. Lynn thought the idea was gross." she said moving her lips closer to his, she looked from his eyes to his lips, anticipating feeling them against her own.

Todd closed the small distance and kissed her, she opened her mouth, now hungry for this long awaited kiss, it had been two weeks since she last saw him, she pressed harder against him, her mouth working against his, she turned her head so their noses were not squashed together.

Wouldn't everyone like to know that she had been seeing Todd since he was a Senior in high school and she was a lowly Sophmore. The reason he never dated, well since he met her, was he was seeing her. The reason she turned down all dates was, she was seeing him. But Amber had made the stipulation that they could never tell anyone. It would kill her reputation if anyone found out she was seeing one of the ordinary people, instead of dating a jock or one of the beautiful people. Todd had readily agreed, anything to be with Amber.

Amber scooted higher on him, her breasts rubbing against his chest, her nipples screamed for attention, they had not gone beyond petting and necking, whenever she stayed over at Lynn's house, she would sneak into Todd's room for some heavy necking and talking. That was what drew her to him in the first place, when he was able to talk, she found he was like her, deep. They talked about more important things than sexy lists and make-up.

Todd was into photography and one afternoon when she was fifteen and staying over at Lynn's house, she had been under the general agreement that Todd was a strange one. She had never really noticed him, he was just Lynn's fat brother with the glasses.

That fateful afternoon she had arrived late at Lynn's, her friend had gone shopping with her mother and Todd had opened the door. She had been dissappointed, she had no desire to hang with him.

He had told her she could wait in the living room if she wanted to. She had sat for about twenty minutes, bored out of her skull, she had been wearing cut off jean shorts, the ones she had sewen in the lace around the edges giving them a more feminine sexy look and a halter that showed some cleavage and her sandals, she had been sitting in a chair with her legs crossed when Todd came out of nowhere and snapped a picture of her.

"Hey!" she complained.

"What's wrong I thought all you girls were fashion models." he said snapping another picture of her.

"Stop it you perv." Amber said turning her face from him.

He lowered the camera and dropped his gaze. He had sat across from her, his camera in his lap.

"Why aren't you out with your wierdo friends?" she asked him.

"Sometimes there are more important things then hanging out." he said and it was the way he said it that intrigued her, like he knew somehthing but thought she would not understand.

"Like what?" she asked him.

"Sometimes just being by yourself is better than hanging out. If you aren't comfortable with yourself, then you are just lying to yourself." he had told her.

She had found herself talking to him, but not like she did with other kids, she found herself telling him things she never told anyone before and he didn't laugh at her or make fun of her, or dismiss her as a bubblehead, she was more than her body, she had a mind and she had thoughts and desires and dreams.

By the time Lynn came home, Amber had changed her opinion of Todd. The rest of that day, she kept wishing she could continue to talk with him. That had been the first night she had snuck into his room, surprising him as she sat on the edge of his bed and told him she was lonely and alone. That she sometimes felt like there was noone in the world that understood how she really felt and that sometimes, she got really scared, because she didn't want to be like her mother. Who had a miltitude of boyfriends.

She had lain stiffly beside him, her ankles crossed her hands on her tummy, she had lain and watched the wierd patterns on the ceiling from the pool with him, he had not tried to touch her or accost her, she had actually fallen asleep in his bed next to him and when he woke her up, early in the morning and told her she should go back to Lynn's room, she had made him swear not to tell anyone she had been with him.

"Okay, no one would believe me anyway." he said.

She had gone to the door, looked back at him and then tip toed ran over to the bed, she pressed her lips to his and then scurried away, smiling at the look on his surprised face.

She had gone back to Lynn's room and laid down, she had lain turned away from her friend, a smile on her face.

After that when she visited she found ways to be alone with him, otherwise she totally ignored him while in her heart she was aching to be with him. He was not a boy, he was intelligent, he didn't see just her body, he saw more in her, he had shared his thoughts and ideas with her, she had shared hers, she had confessed that she was still a virgin. That she was in fact afraid of having sex. Just the whole idea scared her, she could talk dirty with the other girls, but she could not imagine having someone invade her body.

She would blow her friends off with an excuse that she had to help her mother or that she had to study and then she would meet Todd, sometimes they would go to the beach and just sit and talk for hours on end. Or they would go to a movie, where he would hold her hand. The first time they really kissed was in a darkened theatre. He had been holding her had tightly then leaned over and kissed her clumsily, but she didn't notice, because it was the first time she had ever been kissed. She could not remember anything about the movie, but she could remember every second of that kiss. It had been soft, moist and so tender it made her ache for a more deeper kiss. She had held his shirt in her fist, pulling him to her as she tried out all the stuff she and her freinds talked about when they discussed kissing.

She thought that Todd and she had mastered the art of French kissing quite well, she knew now they had not known anything.

Amber stared into his eyes, they had gotten to the point that they did not have to talk, she lay her head on his chest her fingers rubbing over his skin softly.

She knew he had lost weight and toned up for her, but she didn't care, she had told him she didn't care, she didn't see the fat guy with the glasses any longer, she saw him, she still saw him, she would always see him. She didn't understand why his father couldn't see how special Todd was, she couldn't understand why Lynn didn't see how special her brother was.

She didn't understand why none of her friend could see how special he was.

"I'm going to tell Lynn about us." she finally said.

"You know I don't care Amber." he said stroking her fine hair down her back, his hands caressed her back, he did not venture down to her asscheeks, he knew how phobic she was about sex and had never pushed her, he had fallen in love with Amber, but had not yet told her. He would be devestated if he told her and she told him she just like him as a friend, he had never seen her naked, he had never touched her breasts. He was not her boyfriend or anything. He couldn't even acknowlege that he knew her in front of his sister, his parents or her friends, they had to meet where no one could see them, they had to go where no one knew them.

"Todd?" she whispered.

"Yes?" he asked knowing she was going to say something profound.

"I think I'm in love with you." she said and she waited, her ear against his chest, listening to his heart beat.

She waited and closed her eyes, she prayed with all her heart that he would return the feelings she had for him.

"No shit?" he asked her and her heart fell through to her feet, she rubbed her watery eyes against his chest, he didn't feel the same way about her.

"No shit." she whispred in a choked voice.

"You remember that first night you came in here and sat right there on the edge of my bed and told me how lonely and afraid you were all the time?" he asked her

She nodded her head against his chest.

"I fell in love with you then, I have been so afraid to tell you Amber, I didn't want you to think I was just telling you to get you into bed. I don't care if we don't ever have anything physical between us, I know how afraid you are of sex and I don't care, as long as we can just be with each other." he said softly stroking her hair and back with his palm.

Amber raised her head, tears streaked her cheek.

"Do you want to have sex with me Todd?" she asked tentatively.

"If you mean do I desire you, then yes, very much, do I want to take you for my own pleasure? Then no." he said.

"What if I told you I would do it if you asked me to?" she asked him.

"I can't ask you that Amber, I can't make you want me or desire me and I can't just take pleasure from you without your total involvement." he said.

Amber hugged him tightly, she lay her head on his chest.