This is still difficult for me to believe after all these years.
I never dreamed or hoped my life would end up the way it has, but I give thanks every day when I wake up and look at the woman next to me.
I guess I need to explain.
See I was a virgin until my early forties, and I was scared of women.
Terrified of the fact that somebody might actually have an interest in me other than work related. I still have that fear, but now I have help to conquer it. I may never do so, but it sure is fun trying.
As I look at her, I wonder for the thousandth time what she sees in me. I'm just a normal, fleshy, middle aged man who somehow managed to convince an angel to live with me every day.
Let me tell how it all happened...
I had just taken a new job at a new computer company in my hometown. My work consisted of running the equipment and making sure nothing went down or broke. I also was in charge of tracking systems within our department. My boss and I knew each other from school and he got me the job in the first place.
He was a good friend, and I envied his happy marriage. He married his childhood sweetheart right out of high school, and they were still in love with other after over twenty years together. She was one of my classmates too, and we were all good friends.
I, on the other hand, went absolutely to pieces when I was around women. My boss's wife was the only woman outside my family I felt comfortable around, and it worried me constantly. I was always trying to overcome this fear, but it was strong, and it's still strong today.
I was introduced to everybody in the company over the next few months. It was small enough that I could really see everyone who worked there with little effort on my part.
My boss, Elliott (or E as he liked to be called) was always trying to fix me up with any of the single woman in the company, but I resisted his efforts. His wife was doing the same thing with her circle of friends with the same results - nothing.
Two months after I started, a new finance manager was hired away from a large firm in the closest city. She was so busy; I had no chance to meet her. Looking back, that was probably a good thing.
I couldn't meet her, but I could look at her. And I wanted to look at her constantly. I don't know when I realized the depth of feelings I had for her, but I knew they were deep enough to make me want to make a fool of myself and ask her out.
E noticed my interest and unknown to me began to check up on her. He found out that she was divorced from a bad childless marriage and she was not overly fond of men at the present time. He also found out that she was not interested in men that made less than she did. She was a social climber. I still don't know how he found all this out, but I was glad he did. It saved me from extreme embarrassment.
Things didn't change for over a year. She was now entrenched in her work and had become friendlier. I found out her name was Ms. Greene, and she was seeing a man on a regular basis. Oh well, can't blame her for that, can I.
She usually worked quite late, as her predecessor was not very organized, and not very bright. She would come into the break area around my lunchtime to get some more coffee. We greeted each other, but that was the extent of it.
Things changed rapidly one night in September. She came in to get her coffee and I could tell she had been crying. I immediately asked her what was wrong.
"There's nothing wrong." She nearly sobbed.
"Look, I know I don't know you well, but I do know when someone has been crying, and I think of you as a friend. Want to tell a friend what happened?" This was the most I had spoken to a woman other than family in years, and I was scared she would get mad and not get coffee at this time any more.
She looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. "You hardly know me, yet you know something is wrong? How?"
I sighed. Might as well end this now. "I watch you when you come in here every day. We speak, and you're usually so upbeat and happy. Today you're not. It was easy to figure out."
She looked at me again and smiled. I was shocked beyond belief. It was the first time she had ever smiled at me, and I had no idea how to react. She walked over to me and sat down at the table. She put her cup down and stuck out her hand. "We have never been formally introduced, and I would like to know what my friend's name is."
After a few agonizing minutes, I regained the power of speech. "My name is Barney Kent, and I work in the computer department."
She smiled again and said. "My name is Julie Greene, and you know where I am." She laughed and took her hand back. Then her face clouded up again, and I knew she was remembering what had got her crying again. I waited for her to decide what to do next.
She finally took a deep breath (which did marvelous things to her chest) and looked me in the eye. "You have to promise not to say anything. I know enough about you to know you keep your mouth shut, and I don't want this common knowledge. She began trembling and she mumbled for a minute or two, and then she spoke.
"I just found out my boyfriend was cheating on me and I can't understand why. We were even talking marriage, by God!" Her tears were gone, replaced by the start of a little anger.
I was at a lost how to react, so I went with gut instinct. She would tell me later that what I told her made her see things clearly for the first time in a long time. She also said that was when she began to see me differently.
"Ms. Greene, if you want to stay with him, do so. But can you trust him? Its common knowledge that you have been divorced, and if he cheats on you now, what makes you think he won't when you're married. Besides, I can't understand a man cheating on someone like you. And it appears it's happened before." I knew somewhere in my heart that I had just made a colossal mistake, but at least I was honest.
She looked at me again with an expression I interpreted as disbelief. "First of all, call me Julie. Ms. Greene is much too formal for friends. Second of all, how did you know it happened before? My divorce was because my husband left me for somebody younger and more curvy."
"It just fit. You work all the time, and your social life must suffer. He probably thinks you're gonna work all the time, and he was horny. It's difficult to be patient when hormones are talking. I think that's why so many marriages break up these days."
She seemed to consider what I had said, and then she smiled and left for her office again.
Two weeks later, I got a bit of a shock. Julie had started up with a woman, and the gossip was that they were having sex. Since I had never had sex with anybody, it was not easy to think of the woman I lusted after fucking another woman. Especially when I wanted to be the one fucking her.
Her nightly forays into the break room stopped, and I saw very little of her. She would smile at me every once in a while, but it was just a friendly little smile that meant nothing. (Or at least I thought so).
We lost and gained several employees over the next several months, and Julie had to travel frequently. Her lover (?) began to pick her up at the office. She was a very pretty woman that had half the men in a state of excitement. She ignored it, though, and I was sure she was a lesbian, as I guess Julie was now.
Two weeks later, I went into the break room and Julie and the woman were in there talking. They were sitting real close together and I think they were making out a little. I turned about six shades of red and excused myself. I had not gotten four foot down the hall when Julie came up to me looking concerned.
"Where are you going?"
"You two want to be alone. I'll let you."
The look in her eyes spoke volumes. She was mortified. She didn't know we knew about the two of them, I thought. I was wrong, again.
She led me back into the break room, and introduced me to her SISTER, who had been living with her until she graduated college. Since I figured that the two sisters weren't also lovers, too, I took a good look at Julie's sister.
She was a tall, thin redhead. (Julie was a medium sized brunette) She was busty and she was a little heavy in the hips (So was Julie - must run in the family...) She smiled and asked me to sit down with them. I excused myself to fix my lunch, but they insisted I eat with them.
Julie looked at me with an unreadable expression, but I would find out later just what that expression meant. Her sister was Carolyn, and she was just about ready to graduate from medical school. She was going to be an intern in a local hospital and had moved from their hometown to set up residence. She was rooming with Julie until she had enough money for a place of her own. Julie saw my interest and got a smile that could only be interpreted as a matchmaker smile. Damn! The wrong girl was interested. And as I looked closely at Carolyn, I could see interest and it frightened the heck out of me. I needed to do something, anything to break this stare down up.
"Do you what they have been saying about you two?" I asked Julie with a smile.
"No, I don't The gossip seems hot and heavy, but I can't figure out why." The look on Carolyn's face mirrored her sister's.
"They think you are having a lesbian affair, and most of the men are sick about it. Carolyn has made a few guys hearts flutter." The last part was added to see her reaction, but it was also true.
.... There is more of this story ...