Chapter 12

When they returned from the pool on the Wednesday morning Andrew made love to Suzanne several times. She knew what he was doing and didn’t say anything at first but Andrew was very conscious of having fucked up one of his first attempts at taking control in a non-physical way.

“I know what you were trying to do for me. And that is the thing, there is no manual to check, no book we can get from the library. So let it go, learn from it and move on. A lot more than half of what you were trying to do was perfect. You are very good at getting me into my own head, using my own imagination against me. The last 25% of what you wanted to do was too much but please don’t stop. There is so much I have to find out about myself, and the time with you is the only chance I get. So yesterday is done.”

At one level Suzanne was being nice to Andrew and calming him down, but he also knew that there was a fundamental core of truth in what she was saying. Suzanne had shared none of this with anyone else and so the stumbling initial steps of experimentation with Andrew were all she had. He held her tight and kissed her for a long time.

After an early lunch Andrew dropped Suzanne off in the city before heading over to Tony’s. At times during the break both he and Suzanne were being sensible and spending time with lots of other people not just hanging out together all day every day. Yet Andrew knew that they were getting closer rather than drifting apart. The flat felt like he and Suzanne lived there together and Andrew wasn’t bothered by that at all. Andrew never even looked at other women when he was in Edinburgh, to him at least they were a couple when they were there. It was a mess, dealt with in a very British manner; not at all.

Stacey was dealing with a customer when Andrew arrived at the shop but looked over and smiled at him when he waved on the way through to the darkroom. He saw that the door to the studio was propped open so wandered over. Tony was tidying up, and judging by the heat in the room the lights had been on for a while.

“Hey, do you need a hand?”

“Nah, I am just about done. Are you going to develop the rolls from Saturday?”

“Yes.”

“Go ahead and get started. I have half a dozen rolls from this shoot that I will do after you are done.”

Andrew had the first two rolls of film developed by the time Tony came through. The two of them worked away helping each other as they stood and chatted.

“Who was the shoot with? Anyone I know?”

“No, she was a new model, well new to me. She has been working for four months, something like that. She started off on the camera club circuit but is going to give modelling a try as a full time job. Maggie has been talking to her for weeks. It went okay but I don’t know that she will make it.”

“Why not? Can you tell already?”

“Andrew, it is coming up on 15 years I have been photographing models naked. Sure most of the time it was a hobby and we were grateful for anyone that would take their clothes off for us, but at the same time I have seen a lot of models come and go. Maggie was comparatively rare in carrying on for so long. So that experience gives me some idea of who has what it takes. But it is more than that. For the longest time I thought that the models all loved posing. Now to an extent that is true but it is a lot less than I initially thought. Look I am not being very clear. When you see Maggie when we are out shooting then you are seeing someone who wants to be there and is getting turned on by the shoot. We both know that she loves posing for you, well she is posing for me, shit, you know what I am trying to say.”

Tony had to stop and gather his thoughts as Andrew looked at him with a smile.

“She doesn’t know who she is posing for, it is the combination of the three of us that works best. But when it is the three of us her whole demeanour is different. As a model she is totally into it. So when I am working with someone that is the gold standard. But it is completely unrealistic to expect any other model to have that intensity, that fire in her eyes. We are different people, we don’t have a relationship, she is a model there to do a job. Which is a fucking long-winded way of saying that the best models are the ones who act like Maggie, or at least as close to it as you can’t tell the difference. Like I said, for the longest time I thought the best models were the ones with the biggest tits or the ones that spread their legs or whatever. But the best models are the ones who make you think that they are just like Maggie, all the while being nothing like her at all. I know Naomi, I have shot her a couple of times. I know what she is like. She is not a bitch but there is a hard edge to her, I think you have to have that shell otherwise you get taken advantage of. But over the course of eight rolls of film she changed with you. She was unsure about you, thought you were some useless kid, and it was only after an hour or so that she switched to being the professional model. The three rolls from the kitchen are very good, we all know that, but it was mainly because Naomi trusted you sufficiently to be herself. And not be herself as Marilyn Fletcher but be herself as Naomi, a model who is comfortable being very explicit. I have no idea what Marilyn is like in real life, I have never seen her anywhere other than here, but you got her to be totally into it, as a model.”

Tony stopped for a moment while he fiddled with the chemicals, they were working as they talked. Andrew worked his way through everything Tony had said.

“I think I get what you are saying. In many ways we need to put Maggie to the side as how she acts is so rare that it is unlikely to happen with anyone else. But what we do use is her intensity as a way of gauging other models. Modelling isn’t just looking pretty and standing there or lying there or whatever, it is about the emotion in the model’s face and in her body.”

Andrew pondered some more as Tony started to open the drum with his first two developed rolls of film.

“So the woman today, you are not sure that she can fake it?”

“I am not sure that fake is the right word because it is more than that. Think about the models. In fashion, in adverts on television and especially in the glamour sector the entry requirement is two things; a pretty face and a good body. Mainstream acting has a range of people in it but in fashion and glamour there are no ugly people. So that is the price of admission, just the base entry requirements. From there it all comes down to lots of little things, and things that are hard to quantify. But to me, one of the key things is looking like you want to be there. And the opposite of that can be many things but the two main ones are looking bored or looking nervous or afraid. I am not sure the woman today will get past being nervous or uncomfortable about nude modelling. Or can at least model or act like she is enjoying it.”

Andrew wasn’t saying much, mechanically working away while thinking about what Tony was saying.

“The reason I have been thinking about all this is I am going to keep trying to work as a glamour photographer, at least part-time. It will never be my main job, it can’t be in Edinburgh the scene isn’t big enough, but I am going to keep trying to find models and see if I can get some of my photographs published.”

“That’s great. It should be an interesting sideline. You have everything here already, studio, darkroom, supplies, plus the shop means you don’t have to worry about starving if it is slow going at first. I was about to say do you want to shoot Stacey, but she doesn’t want to pose for you, does she?”

“No, it would be too weird.”

“Have you thought about setting it up as a separate business?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you know that I had all these computer companies, I still have one come to think of it. But when I set up the first company I was able to expense both my Open University course and my computer supplies through it as a business expense.”

“Other than paying the model, what expenses would I have?”

“All the props and costumes that you use.”

“But I don’t buy anything, the models bring their own clothes and I have all the sets already.”

“If you are going to try and do this then I think you will end up buying stuff. If you are trying to get photos sold then the same set or backdrop is going to show up in a lot of your pictures. Look at things that I bought for Maggie; the coats, two pair of boots, we are going to get a pleated skirt. Get some more backdrops, some lingerie, whatever strikes your fancy. You have all these magazines upstairs, use them. Browse through them but look at the set not the model, look at the model’s clothes, all these things. Look at the studio. You have the bathroom set, but it is all fake, nothing is plumbed in. You could spend some money with a plumber and get it all plumbed in. The sinks don’t matter and there isn’t a toilet but you could get a big shower stall with glass walls. There are lots of options there. Same with the tub. Get one of those old fancy stand-alone tubs. I am sure there was a series of photos in one of the mags where the model was in a bubble-bath, at least to start. These are all ideas for the future, you don’t need to do anything crazy to start, but if you start to sell some shoots then they might be necessary.”

Tony smiled and then started to laugh.

“I have run this place, first with my Dad, and then on my own, for pushing 20 years. Yet I listen to you and there is another layer to it. It is just me, as a sole proprietor, for the shop. Everything goes through the shop, but you have given me some ideas. I can’t believe I am asking you but is it expensive to set up a company?”

“It was less than £100 for my first one, and then the same in annual costs, at least for a small business doing limited sales, nothing fancy. Why don’t you see how it goes and then decide?”

“I was talking to your friend Julian at the party for quite a while. He told me how you had started working together when you were only 14. But he did mention that you were very organised, and prepared for success. He even quoted some old Roman guy, something about preparation and opportunity.”

Once again Andrew thought back to the only useful thing he ever learned in four years of Latin classes.

“Seneca. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

“Yes, that’s it. I want people to think I am lucky so I am going to prepare. I will set up the company, be prepared and see if I can generate the opportunity.”

Tony stopped and looked at Andrew.

“Do you want to be part of it?”

“Of the company?”

Tony nodded. Andrew was a bit taken aback but considered what Tony had asked.

“Why?”

“It is the sessions with you and Maggie that have made me consider it. You took some great pictures of Naomi as well. I know that it is never going to be your career but I thought I would offer.”

“Okay, thank you. How do you want to split it?”

They dickered back and forth for a few minutes but Andrew ended up agreeing to a 20% stake. Tony had offered a third and Andrew had countered at 10% so it was a reasonable compromise. All the chat about modelling and business had kept them both distracted as they developed and printed their film. Andrew had gone first so his prints were pretty well dry and he carefully took them up to kitchen laying them on the table and left them there to get rid of the last stickiness. Tony was finishing his prints and Andrew took the chance to go and talk to Stacey. The shop was empty so they could chat.

“Are you still okay for Friday?”

“I am. My friend Elspeth is going to meet me here at 5.30.”

“Can I ask you how you want the night to go?”

“How do you mean?”

Andrew paused and tried to control his blush.

“When I am working with a model then there is quite a lot of direction and lots of comments about her body. Things like ‘put your arms under your boobs, make your cleavage bigger’ or ‘stick your arse out further, no further, arch your back more, perfect’.”

Stacey’s face was a picture.

“Exactly. I suppose what I am asking is do you want to be treated like a normal glamour model or would you prefer something more.”

Andrew paused and searched for the word.

“Discreet, low key, not quite so blatant.”

Andrew was surprised that Stacey was thinking about it so long.

“Thank you for mentioning this now. It will let me think about it. I will confirm on Friday but I have always wanted to see what it was like to model, so I think it will be close to that. Maybe dial it back a fraction, be gentle with me, but I do want the full experience. Does that make sense?”

Andrew nodded.

“Yes it does. Even just having this conversation has made me realise that a lot of the more blatant comments are when the model is naked and so I don’t think that they will apply. I will work to make it as normal a session as possible without going too far, okay?”

“Thanks. I am both excited and crazy nervous at the same time. I can’t believe that I am considering showing my tits to a man other than my Hamish.”

“Will he be okay?”

“Oh yes, I don’t think he will care. He was always trying to get me to take my top off when we were on holiday in the south of France. Half the woman on the beach were wandering around topless and he was keen for me to do that too. I chickened out. With this I think he will be fine, especially when he knows it wasn’t Tony and that Elspeth was there.”

Andrew would wait and see if Stacey was still as calm on Friday. The rest of the evening was very similar to the previous week, Maggie and Andrew reviewed the pictures from the weekend and chatted while Tony was downstairs teaching his workshop. They looked at the construction site photos first. Andrew could see that Maggie had been distracted by Tony for most of the first roll. Maggie agreed with him.