Chapter 5

Andrew’s life had been busy at Cambridge, he was happy to be a slave to his routine and there had not been a lot of free time. The four weeks in Edinburgh were the exact opposite of that; there was no routine, there was lots of free time and it felt like his life was chaotic for an entire month.

He had returned to his flat, not had to push past too much mail, and just crashed on his new bed. He was pleased that everything had managed to be delivered before he left for Cambridge. In the morning an empty fridge and empty cupboards stared him in the face so he after his usual morning exercises, run and swim Andrew walked to the nearest café and had some breakfast. Now that he was back in Edinburgh he thought about all the people he needed to get in touch with. When he went round to Julian’s flat there was no answer and using his spare key, he discovered that it looked like they were away somewhere. The flat was empty and there was no trace of anyone having used the shower or made breakfast. Walking back to his own place he knew he would call his Grandma, and then call Suzanne. Tony, Maggie and Pete would be the second wave. Where his parents fitted into all that, he didn’t know. After a quick call to check his Grandma was home he went over to visit her.

“Welcome back Andrew. Vi and I had got used to you visiting all the time, it has been a quiet time for the last three months. Now tell me about moving out from your parent’s house. Gavin and Vera have not been very forthcoming about it all.”

Andrew pondered how complete he needed to be. He was going to be truthful but he wasn’t sure about being completely truthful. Hmmm.

“It was time. You have seen what I have been like the last couple of years. Particularly since last summer when I got my licence and my car, I have been living my own life. At some point this year I was going to move out, it just happened sooner rather than later.”

He didn’t expect that to be the end of it.

“They said you had been treating the place like a hotel.”

“They did. But that is just the phrase they are using as shorthand for living my own life. I was away for four weeks between the farm and my holiday. Plus I had the Royal Engineers camp at the start of the summer. There were occasions where it was if I rushed in for a day and then was off again. Like I said, it was time.”

Factually accurate but not the whole story. And someone was way too wise to swallow it unchallenged.

“I know there is more to it Andrew. I can see it, Nancy and Davina can see it, the whole family can see it.”

Nancy and Davina were his aunts, his father’s sisters.

“Nobody can get an answer out of either of them that makes any sense. Not coming to your own party. For a woman who was always worrying about what other people thought, your mother sure has changed her ways.”

Andrew sighed.

“They were mad I went ahead and had the party, they were mad that you all came, and then they were even more mad when you challenged them about it. That was when I got the ‘my house, my rules’ speech from Dad. What they don’t know yet is that I had bought a flat when I returned from Italy. I could see this coming and I had bought a place the day before the party. It is a two bedroom flat, just like this one, in Marchmont. It is across the road from the Baths. But Mum and Dad don’t know that yet. It seemed easier to say I was moving in with Julian rather than throw my own place in their face. A lot of the underlying issues are around the money I made with computing.”

“That was probably a sensible way to do it. It is never good to lie but it served a purpose in this instance. Okay, things are a little clearer. You think they are jealous of the money?”

Andrew could see this conversation was going to be death by a thousand cuts. He made the decision to tell her the complete story, so with a big sigh he told his Grandma everything. From growing up being ignored or denigrated by father, to the fateful overheard conversation late one night, discovering the photo of his grandfather, the preference for Rowan, the impact of Scott on the family, he just told her everything. There was no point in dragging it all out. And really other than the overheard conversation she knew or suspected most of the rest. She did pale and then blush when he recounted the conversation but Andrew was beyond caring. When he finished his Grandma patted his hand.

“And you have known all this for how long?”

“The key stuff was in the year before I had cancer. That conversation I overheard was the summer I was 12 and we found the photo that autumn. The first half of 1978 was probably the best it ever was in the house but then the cancer was discovered in the summer and suddenly it was February 1979. Scott was born 9 months and a week after I found out I was in remission and since then everything has drifted apart. No big blow ups, nothing like that. I am utterly different to the pair of them, Dad prefers Rowan, Mum has Scott and here we are.”

Andrew’s parents had three children but didn’t seem to know what to do with their oldest.

“When are you going to see them?”

It was a day for sighs.

“I don’t know. I’ll give them a call and go for dinner on Thursday, maybe.”

“This whole situation has dominated everything this morning but thank you for the letters. Your comment in one of them about news being currency made me laugh. I definitely spent a lot every time I had a letter from you.”

The rest of the visit was light and easygoing, as visits to your grandmother are supposed to be. After a trip to the supermarket, which was a lot easier than the three trips up the stairs to his flat, Andrew sat eating lunch and thinking about the week. It had felt good to talk to his Grandma about the problems with his parents. It didn’t change anything but it was good to chat. Andrew didn’t see how much could change. He wouldn’t trust his father even if he claimed he had changed, not a likely occurrence anyway. Rowan? Ten years earlier he and Rowan had got on, the usual sibling bickering but nothing fundamental. But now, after all the years of being pandered to, getting her own way, Andrew just not engaging with her, he doubted their relationship would ever be strong.

Andrew had a work ethic and had worked hard to earn money ever since he had been 12. All of his possessions, all the things he wanted to do, was able to do, had happened through his own hard work. There was a huge element of luck, it would not have been possible without help, support and guidance from a lot of people. But he did it. It wasn’t given to him. Rowan, through no fault of her own at first, had not done any of that. Her life had been easier because Andrew had made his parent’s life easier. And he wasn’t upset about that. He had been happy to help his family. Yet, it had driven them apart not brought them closer. His bloody family caused more sighing and head shaking than anything else in his life.

That afternoon he called Suzanne’s house. Mrs. Jenner answered but she barely had a chance to say anything before her older daughter was on the phone and the day brightened. The sound of her voice and sheer joy in her voice were so calming for him.

“Pack a bag so that you can stay for a couple of days. I’ll leave it to you whether you are going to ask or tell your mother.”

He would be there in 30 minutes. 29 minutes later Suzanne Jenner walked out of her front door and Andrew was transfixed. She was dressed for the weather and hidden behind layers of clothing but it didn’t matter. Neither one of them said anything but their kiss was long and heartfelt. They did talk on the journey over to the flat but it was definitely a case of ‘in one ear and out the other’. They rushed up the stairs to the flat and the front door had barely closed before she was dragging him to the bedroom, stripping as they went. She pushed him onto the bed and Andrew looked up at her.

“Safe?”

It was both a question and an answer.

“Safe.”

Was the reply and she lowered herself onto him with an experience that spoke of many hours of practice. Did they last a minute? Probably not. But it didn’t lessen the overwhelming feelings of closeness, desire and love Andrew felt for this woman. But there was no emotional cuddling just yet. He was dragged to the shower and as the water cascaded over them Suzanne dropped to her knees and sucked him back to life. Once he was hard enough to meet her purpose she stood, turned and bent in a single fluid move. That she had kept up her daily exercise routine was in no doubt. Suzanne had wide hips and a big bum but there was no sag, no flab on that beauty. It was tight and firm and flared out perfectly for him to just hold her hips and ravage her relentlessly. God, it was magnificent, the way that his hips and groin would slap into her bum and the flesh would flex. It wasn’t a ripple it was too firm for a ripple, it was bum made for fucking doggy style. Andrew didn’t care about the pain in his lower back from crouching all I saw was his closest friend with a body he adored letting me release all the tension. And it wasn’t just him, it was reciprocal. Suzanne was using him just as much as he was using her. It was exactly what he needed and when he came he knew that his feelings for Suzanne were stronger for their absence, not weaker. When he came, again all too quickly, his knees gave out and Andrew sank to the floor of the tub, the water still pouring over him. He kneeled there and watched Suzanne wash herself clean before she turned the water off and grabbed them both towels. She led him back to the bedroom, pushed him down again and gently climbed on top of him, in that most magical of positions.

“You have no idea how much I have needed that. When you looked at me when I left the house, we nearly did it in my parent’s drive. I feel as though I have purged some crazy part of me. Aunt Flo visited last week and I was a right crabby bitch. Horny and crabby, the perfect combination. And then you turn up, conveniently the day after I am back in action.”

Suzanne’s string of consciousness gradually petered out. She didn’t have the tension of his family to deal with but she needed a good fuck just as much as Andrew. And it had been so seamless, taking up exactly where they had left 11 weeks earlier.

“When did you get back?”

“Last night, just before midnight.”

“What was it like coming here? Was it cold and empty?”

“Chilly rather than cold, I left the heating on low so that nothing froze, but yes the cupboards were bare when I woke up this morning.”

They idly chitchatted for a few more minutes, when did university finish, when did it restart, plans for the holiday, just filler. But once Andrew had recovered his vigour he pulled himself up the bed to lean against the headboard and Suzanne seated herself in his lap. There was a lot of kissing, a lot of hugging and cuddling and even a little bit of fucking. But it wasn’t just the sex, they could both feel it. This was making love not fucking. Andrew had no idea how long they would have spent lying there but the moment of closeness was shattered by a loud thumping at the door. The flaw in their cunning plan was Andrew had left a note on Julian’s kitchen table letting them know he was back and the address of the flat. When he heard Leslie’s voice they uncoupled and while Suzanne put some clothes on Andrew grabbed his dressing gown and went to the door to let them both in. Hugs were postponed, although not the catty comments, until he had some clothes on before they sat and caught up.

The first hour was spent on catching up on life. They were at three different universities doing four different courses and they all took a turn talking about the last three months. As far as Andrew could tell Leslie was ready to just give up her course and start running the two Trusts. There was an impatience to her that was unsettling. She was dismissive of most of the courses she was taking and would rather spend time with Mhairi, Creighton or Doug than bother with her classes. She did admit that she was going to finish the degree having come so far but he could tell the class of honours was not something she cared about and so it proved. She ended up with a Desmond and was done with academia forever.

Julian was much more like Andrew, enjoyed university and was a diligent studier. Andrew’s first year electrical engineering module was not until the coming term so they didn’t bore Leslie and Suzanne too much. Suzanne had been through to Edinburgh twice during term, staying with her parents once, but upon realising that mistake had ended up staying in Julian’s spare room on the second visit. She and Leslie talked regularly, because the irony was that the three of them had very few people their own age that knew the whole story of what they had achieved, and especially the amount. Suzanne was practically unique and so Leslie and she could chat with both of them not having to be guarded about parts of their life, or what they knew. That thought made Andrew think back to who else was there. It was really only Pete who was their age or close to it, and Leslie didn’t really know him.

Andrew should have been mentally bettered prepared when he was asked what his parents thought of the flat. His blushing stammer rather gave the game away and he ended up telling Julian and Leslie about the issues before he left. He skipped all the family history but when coupled with them not being at the party raised lots of questions. It was Julian who came up with the first inkling of a reason.

“It think it is Rowan’s neediness and your passiveness that is the core of this. Listen to me and don’t get upset at my words okay.”

Andrew nodded wondering where this was going.

“It is very difficult being close to you, or to be your friend Andrew. Settle down, let me finish, but think about it. One day in January 1979 you decided to change. And ever since then it has been a rocket ship, the only way is up. It is only because you are the nicest guy around that I stayed your friend all these years ago. Here I was, two years older, I thought I was smarter and would be the dominant one in our friendship. During the winter of 1980 when we were working hard, after you had put the screws to my Dad’s firm, to which they caved like they were made of sand by the way, although I was making money and enjoying myself I was jealous. And jealousy is a terrible feeling. You were as smart as me, if not smarter, and you were two years younger. You hung out with women all the time when I was a tongue-tied fool, and perhaps most corrosively, I thought Dad liked you more than me, that he respected you as someone not to be fucked with, after what you did. In the winter term I nearly walked away from you because of it. It was Dad actually who brought me to my senses. We were chatting one day and he told me straight out that he had been wrong about me and computers, that I had shown him and that he was very proud of me. But he also praised me more than anything for being a good friend to you. You were never bossy, you never stole the spotlight, we know in fact that you do the exact opposite, but that you were also a loner and probably lonely. He told me that the way that we made our friendship work, an unlikely pairing was the thing he was most proud of.”

Julian stopped there and looked at Andrew.

“I nearly fucked up my whole life because of stupid jealousy, especially over things that you just didn’t care about. What I have done with my life, the good I have done and hope to keep doing in the future, meeting the love of my life.”

He grasped Leslie’s hand in a tight grip.

“All of that I could have changed or thrown away if I had given in to jealousy. People are always going to be jealous of us, but especially you, for the rest of our lives. Too rich, too happy, didn’t deserve it, look at everything he or they have. But we did it together. From very early on you realised that we were stronger together, first as a pair and then as a team. Fuck, I have been taking lessons in rambling on from you.”

That lightened the atmosphere slightly.

“The point that I am trying to make is that your dad and Rowan are jealous, pure and simple. She is her own worst enemy because she always manages to say or do the wrong thing. And instead of fighting you just passively walk away, are seen to be giving in, or at least taking the path of least resistance. Rowan is easier to explain than your father. That one I struggle to understand. I understand that he is jealous, but I don’t know why. Maybe it is nothing more than parents want their children to feel equal love and your parents have taken it too far with Rowan. Everyone’s parents do something stupid, just like we will when we become parents.”

Andrew looked pointedly at Leslie and deservedly got whacked.

“You have moved out, and for good. Knowing you, you would have chaffed against parental control and restrictions just like I did. We both had the same solution. It will be interesting to see what they are like when you go and see them, whether they have calmed down and the import of what has happened has sunk in. I thought I was taking the piss a bit when I took laundry over to my parents, but Mum still wanted to feel useful. Now she got over that quickly but the first year she liked to still be Mum and to help me.”

He finally stopped and looked sheepish at the looks of respect from Suzanne and Andrew and the look of love and pride from Leslie.

“What? I do have good ideas sometimes.”

“Thank you for that, I try to be so unassuming and low-key I tend to forget that it will still rub some people the wrong way. You are right it will be interesting to see how they are. One of the issues is that Mum has Scott, but I am hoping that things can remain calm and positive.”

There was no more point in speculating about it, he would find out on Thursday. Since he had been to the supermarket Andrew prepared dinner with the other three sitting at the table and able to chat to him as he pottered about the kitchen. Julian went to the off-licence and bought a couple of bottles to christen the flat. The dinner was simple, chicken with a couple of veg and they carried on the conversations from earlier.

“Where were you two this morning. It looked like no one had been there.”

“I finished classes last Wednesday and Julian was done on Thursday so we went away for the weekend. Nothing fancy, just down to Northumberland, did some Christmas shopping in Newcastle, just got away for a couple of days. We came back up this morning.”

After dinner they didn’t linger and left not long after 8.00 leaving Andrew and Suzanne to snuggle up on the couch.

“You didn’t talk about Glasgow much. So tell me about life at Glasgow University. Has it been what you expected?”

“Mostly. I will never be as crazy about studying as you but I have got up every morning and either gone to class or to do exercise. I work between 8.00 and 6.00 every day, either in class, at the pool or at the library. You taught me the value of routine. I rarely study at night or at the weekend and yet I am doing well in all my classes, did well on the end of term tests, and have never felt healthier. I have met a nice group of people in the dorms. The dorm is co-ed but the floors are single sex so we get the best of both worlds, especially the toilets.”

He snorted with laughter, she wasn’t wrong.

“Glasgow is a city with a much more vibrant nightlife than Edinburgh, and we go out every week. But I didn’t go crazy, didn’t gain half a stone like most of the floor, and wasn’t wild and careless with sex.”

She shook her head.

“Andrew, you are a man. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. God, they were such pathetic boys, bragging pathetic boys. You spoiled me, do you know that. It reminds me I need to give Leslie a thank you hug when I see her next. Every woman you know should always meet Leslie with a thank you hug and kiss. I would have this afternoon but I didn’t want Julian to get jealous.”