Chapter 2

Knowing that Ara had moved on buried the final vestige of Andrew’s winter freak out. He knew it was his own fault and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That within six months they were going to be hundreds of miles apart also meant he had no plans for trying to alter the current situation. It was a different set of circumstances but the outcome was the same as Allison; Andrew had let her down. But he had done all his self-recrimination over the last two months so he accepted she was done with him and moved on.

During the winter Maggie was one of the people Andrew had not seen. They had spoken on the phone a couple of times but between his manic studying and the first flush of new love with her and Tony, they had not chatted in person yet that year. Right at the start of his final term they met for their usual late afternoon cup of coffee.

“It has been more than three months, everything okay?”

“I got behind with school work and the whole term just went by in a blur of studying. I am fine, how are you doing?”

Andrew could see her smile widen.

“Oh I couldn’t be better. More than a bit head over heels to be honest.”

“Not with Tony Brown surely?”

He dodged back to avoid her whack. She was laughing with him.

“Yes, you cheeky bastard. And don’t call me Shirley.”

In the mythological rankings of the perfect girlfriend a nymphomaniac whose father owns a brewery was only just ahead of a nude model that could quote Airplane.

“And to think I had missed you.”

They settle back down and Maggie brought the conversation round to her modelling.

“I was hoping that you would still photograph me. Will you?”

“Saying something like ‘are you sure?’ sounds patronising. But I can’t think of anything else so tell me why you want me to photograph you?”

“Tony and I have done lots of shoots together, both in the studio and outside. I nearly froze my arse off over the winter. And they were great. But the naughtiness of it only went so far. It comes back to why I model. It excites me to pose naked for men. I like to show off, I like to be naughty, and I like to have this secret life. Posing for Tony is private. I need something more, the thrill of posing for someone else, reminding me of the last six years. I want the naughtiness but I also want to be happy and comfortable with the photographer. Tony understands this and is fully supportive. Just as I get a kick out of posing, he gets a kick out of seeing me pose.”

Andrew didn’t have to think, not even for a second.

“Okay. I am flattered that you picked me. Do you want to shoot at the studio or outdoors?”

“Outdoors please. Tony will help carry all your stuff and keep a general lookout for trouble. Assuming that I don’t suddenly get all coy with you and can’t do it, then I am going to start to model again in the studio. Probably smaller groups, guys who aren’t going to give us both crap.”

So the following Saturday Andrew was traipsing along a path in the hills to the south of Edinburgh. They needed torches for the first 20 minutes and it was a hard uphill slog. But it was worth it. They ended up at the top of Torphin Quarry, safely back from the edge. Andrew could see the disused quarry from his parent’s garden, although it was several miles off in the distance. It was a weathered scoop dug out of the side of the hill, a remnant from a bygone age. Access was possible to the top because a golf course ran along the ridge at the top of the quarry. They had climbed the fence and descended 10 feet and so as they started shooting they heard the first golfers of the day tee off being them on the 5^th hole.

And Monica loved it. It was the right level of having the thrill of exposure without anyone actually observing the shoot. The golfer’s voices carried clearly in the still early morning chill and every time a group went past Monica visibly. Andrew struggled express the right word that defined her attitude. She didn’t preen and she didn’t stand up straighter or anything like that. Maybe it was as simple as looking more excited. Overlooked in all this was the fact that the views in the early Spring sunlight were spectacular. Edinburgh was spread out before them although at a much greater distance than from Arthur’s Seat. Andrew’s photograph had won 3^rd prize in the competition he had entered in the photography magazine and so Tony worked with him to get a similar erotic but anonymous shot for another competition.

The shot that he ended up submitting was Monica standing three quarters away from him, looking north west. With the rising sun over her right shoulder her face was in shadow but the light highlighted, and at the same time hid, details of her body. The one new feature that was different about this shoot was that Tony had brought along a collapsible reflector that caught the sunlight and lit Monica’s back, bum and legs. Monica was in great shape and so Andrew had her tense different muscles, flexing her butt cheeks, tightening her shoulders, just a whole lot of variations on the theme.

As he was shooting Andrew realised that he was shooting for Monica, and maybe Tony, but he was not shooting for himself. Yes it was nice to get out and practice some creativity but he was providing the first audience for Monica now that she was Tony’s girlfriend. There had been no hesitation about stripping down and it had been three friends working on a project; one of them just happened to be naked. When Andrew had finished three rolls of film Monica came over and hugged and kissed him. He was slightly startled as she was still naked and Tony was right there, but it was the hug and kiss of a friend. As opposed to the hot and heavy make out session she conducted with Tony.

The first shoot had gone well, it was clear that Maggie was not yet done with her Monica the model persona, and Tony had been a willing and involved helper. He was not sullenly sitting off to the side. He had helped pose Monica and held the reflector for Andrew for nearly a whole roll of film. It was an odd circumstance to be in but Andrew just mentally shrugged and didn’t overthink it. A first for him.

Their return from the edge of the quarry was hilarious as they snuck between groups of golfers, spaced out fortunately, but did endure several stares as they went past. Maggie was struggling to stifle her giggles as she was appraised by several groups of middle-aged golfers. Andrew got another hug and a kiss before they left in separate cars with a request to do another shoot as soon as his exams were finished. As a way to clear his head before a period of intense study and exams, it was perfect.

April of 1983 was the start of the end of school for Andrew. He had reviewed and studied all his history notes during the school break and was done with it. He was sitting the exam and would accept the results, it no longer had a place in his academic future. April was all maths; algebra, calculus and mechanics. They reviewed past exams in class and Andrew wrote the last seven years’ worth in the evenings during those three weeks. Even his maths teacher, old Mr. Durrand, told him to relax and Andrew had to laugh, physician heal thyself.

At the end of April classes were over, the future was in his own hands. When Andrew returned it would be to swan around and be a prefect. As he walked out of school he felt someone come up beside him. It was Mary Jones, the Head Girl of the school. He and Mary were in Maths and Physics together and had been in the same classes for all four years. Mary was very smart and she and Andrew got along well especially after breaking up the fight the previous year in the playground. Her only sin, borderline unforgivable in Andrew’s eyes, was that she had applied to Oxford rather than Cambridge.

“Hey Andrew, feels weird to think we aren’t going to get taught here ever again, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, when we come back the Head will have us running around as prefects and I’ll have some final CCF stuff but I don’t know that there will be any need to be here all day, or even come in some days, it is distinctly odd. But given that come October our brains will be mush we should take advantage of the time off.”

“What are your study plans for the next two weeks? You can’t have any Maths left to do surely?”

“Nah, just Physics. One week on the material for the exam and one week on my project ready for the review. How about you?”

“Actually I am the same. I copied your study habits in Maths this month and managed to get through all the exams. Now all I have left is Physics. Do you want to come over and study at mine? I always do better when there is someone to push me. I will play the reviewer and quiz you on your project if you will do the same for me?”

“That’s a good idea. Will your parents be okay with this?”

“They will be at work all day.”

An interesting non-answer.

“Sure.”

So the following week Andrew turned up at Mary’s house after swimming. They spread their study material out in the dining room and worked with barely an interruption until well after lunchtime. They sat in the kitchen and ate a sandwich and chatted for the first time all day. Mary looked nervous as they sat and chatted.

“Andrew, can I ask you something?”

“Sure Mary, what?”

“Why did you never ask me out?”

He gawked at her in surprise.

“Eh, I don’t know how to answer that Mary. I have not really asked out many people, and it is only in the last year that I have got better at reading signals. I was clueless for most of 3^rd, 4^th and 5^th year. I used to say that women needed to have a stick to hit me with so that I would know. One woman even did that, grabbed a stick from the ground and tapped me on the head.”

Memories of Ara, sprang unbidden into his head.

“Did you want me to ask you out? Did I miss the signals?”

He was confused.

“I am sorry Andrew. I should not have brought this up.”

“It is not a big deal Mary. You didn’t answer the question.”

“I always wondered when you went out with everyone else in the year why you didn’t go out with me.”

Her frustration was evident. Laughing out loud was a typically insensitive male thing to do.

“Relax, I am not laughing at you, I am laughing at the idea of going out with everyone in the year. I didn’t, not even close to it. Did you think I was deliberately excluding you?”

She nodded.

“Mary, you and I have been classmates for four years. We may not be close friends but we have developed a friendship over that time, particularly since becoming prefects. When did you ever see me deliberately exclude anybody?”

“Oh I don’t know Andrew, I am just a mess with this stuff. Everything I heard about you, the way the girls talked, and the way you never talked, made you into this fantasy figure. I have managed to let my stupid crush ruin everything.”

She started to cry. Fucking hell, he just wanted to study physics.

“Mary, stop it please.”

As with all males of the species Andrew had no idea what to do with a crying female.

“When is your last exam?”

“Same as yours, Mechanics on the 27^th, the Friday.”

“Then let’s go out that night. We can go for dinner and watch a movie if you want, or we can find somewhere to walk and chat.”

“I don’t want a pity date Andrew!”

Now she sounded mad.

“It isn’t a pity date, for goodness sake, I don’t even really date. I go out with friends most weekends. Other than Hannah for two months at the start of 5^th year I have not dated or had a girlfriend. Just a lot of friends.”