Chapter 12

The next morning at hockey Andrew was tired and the team made fun of him for it. Mrs. Martin might be there to chaperone the women from him but it was not the other way round. He just laughed it off and then congratulated them on a good win, giving the team a 12 game winning streak. This was the last game of the year and the team were meeting up and so Andrew would have a rare Saturday night alone as both June and Suzanne were going out. He and Julian sat and worked at his place all day. It was good to chat to him on and off and Andrew used the free day as a chance to catch up on computer course work. He carried on working into the evening when he got back home. What he did a reasonable job of doing was not obsessing about Ara. They would have a four week break and there was nothing Andrew could do until she came back to Edinburgh. For all the emotions involved with her there was no future and he had to protect himself as much as possible.

Sunday after a good swim and a double shift at the Food Bank Andrew was sitting talking to Leslie. Once they had done the daily update on the business he told her about his evening with Ara. She did not believe him at first and thought it was a bad joke. It took a lot of convincing before she finally believed him.

“Where is this crazy school? Prepare to be a good wife? Lie there and take it? Fuck me, that’s positively antediluvian.”

“I know, I had to go through everything that all my partners have done to me, starting with Kenzie and going through Allison. She lay there in complete shock.”

“You mentioned your current partners?”

“A little about June but I said nothing about Suzanne.”

Leslie looked at him keenly.

“Why not Andrew?”

“Too personal, too recent, it just did not feel right.”

“I see.”

“Stop it Leslie, the reason is that Ara will probably meet Suzanne. They both know I tell you everything but it was not appropriate to talk about Suzanne to Ara.”

“Okay, I believe you. How are you doing? Lot of change coming for you at the end of the summer at this rate, isn’t there?”

“That is why I think I did a reasonable job this weekend of not obsessing about Ara. Between the timing of university and her mother this is doomed. I know that I am going to be pretty cut up but it will be partially helped by the fact that she will be gone at the end of June. I can get my moping out the road then. I am trying hard to get the Open University degree finished so that the three of us can start to sort out the Trust.”

“Well you have thought it through, but be careful Andrew, she is the only girl you couldn’t forget. You stay friends with people but you let the feelings go. Allie, Tanvi, Katie, Kate, Hannah, Moira, Mary, Kenzie, even Allison.”

“Thanks for saying them all at once, I feel like such a slut when you list them like that!”

“Remember what I told you all those years ago in hospital about Martin, the biggest slut in school?”

Andrew nodded.

“Well you are catching up, Ara, Suzanne, June, maybe Gail?”

Andrew laughed with her. It was good to spend relaxing time with his friend. He was on the usual midnight sleeper to London on Monday night, getting him in to King’s Cross at 6.30. Everyone had to be off the train by 7.00 so he wandered over to the University College campus and found a café open early. Andrew killed a couple of hours and then went to the civil engineering building, the Chadwick building, to register. He had an 11.00 interview with two members of the faculty. He and Ara had brought their meeting up to 1.00 as he should be done by then with the interview process. Andrew was shown into a small study group room on the 1^st floor.

Their interview was disjointed and Andrew was disappointed that they did not appear to have read his application more thoroughly or carefully in advance. It was made clear that they did not like it that he had placed Trinity ahead of them in his list of preferences, this was the first few minutes of the interview. The whole thing had the feel of a curtesy interview and that they were not serious about offering Andrew a spot. It was an interesting insight into academic politics and politicking. It was only at the end when they stumbled across the Open University transcript at the back of Andrew’s application that things changed.

“Am I to understand that you are three quarters of the way through an Open University degree in Computer Science? With an ‘A -’average?”

“Yes, to both.”

“You are doing this while at school?”

“Yes. I am trying to graduate before I start my next university course.”

“Quite. Eh.”

Andrew had thrown them for a loop and they could not think of any additional questions to ask. The interview sort of petered out and at 12.35 Andrew was finished. So was University College, he would not be attending there that coming autumn. He was disappointed that his application was not taken more seriously. Andrew began to wonder about Imperial, which he had placed third on his application. Their interview may be even more pre-emptory.

All of those worries were removed when he saw Ara. It was only 12.50 but she was early as well. They hugged and kissed and then decided to walk, even though it was a cold December day, it was dry and it would be easier to talk as they walked. Ara was unhappy about being at home but shook it off as they walked down Bloomsbury Street and Shaftesbury Avenue to Piccadilly Circus before heading west towards Green Park. They went into the Park and found a bench to sit and chat.

“So life at home is better but still not great?”

“Yes, that’s about it.”

“What is the end game for your mother? Not the particular person that you end up with, but her relationship with you. Does she think that one day you are going to thank her for all this hassle? Does she even see it as hassle? She seems to be driving you away. In 18 months you will graduate and can lead your own life.”

“She thinks that I am young and naïve and that I need to grow up. When I grow up I will see that she is right and as you said will come and thank her. I get a lot of comments of ‘you are only 18, what do you know’ that sort of thing.”

“Ara, what are you going to do when you graduate? You will only be 20, you have talked about a PhD program, is that still what you want to do?”

“I think it has to be. I am on track to finish near the top of my class and so I should be able to get an opportunity to continue my studies.”

“Does your mother ever acknowledge this future you are mapping out for yourself? What about your father?”

“All swept under the carpet and never discussed. I have not talked about the PhD. There is a blatant assumption that I will graduate and then return home, and that university will be seen as something I had to get out of my system.”

It was clear, to Andrew at least, that there could not be a happy ending for both Ara and her mother. One of them was going to be disappointed. He understood the ostrich approach to dealing with it but there was an almighty blow-up coming, and it had nothing to do with him.

“How are you feeling Ara? You seemed sad on Friday night.”

“I have to rein in my emotions at times Andrew, that is all. You make me feel wonderful and I have come more and more to see you as a kind and stable force in my life. On top of that you make me feel like a giggly schoolgirl whenever I see you. You are tall, which when you are 5’11” as a woman is important, you are wide and lean and you have this shy smile. The absolute classic example of someone who doesn’t realise how attractive they are. You respect me, protect me and are utterly unconcerned about my degree course and intended future career. So even before Friday night I was guilty of idolising you and then you just took a sledgehammer and shattered my conceptions of sex, relationships, my needs, everything. So yes, when all of that was about to leave and I was not going to see you for a month I was a bit sad.”

Arabella Lindsay was lonely, and nobody in her family valued what she was doing.

“How about you Andrew? What are you thinking?”

“Us Ara, I am thinking about us. I worry about how we will both cope in June when you go south and how our paths are going to cross again. I don’t worry about the next six months, they will work themselves out. But I do worry beyond that. The sex just complicates it further.”

They sat for a while, lost in their thoughts.

“Come on, I am starting to get cold. Let’s walk through the Park to Hyde Park Corner and get into Hyde Park, the walk will be nicer than on the street.”

Ara grabbed his hand and they started walking again.

“We have to calm down and see what happens, don’t we?”

“Yes, because otherwise we will not enjoy the time now. We have to have a great six months and then figure out the future in the summer. We cannot fix this now, maybe we cannot fix this at all, but it is a choice of taking a chance with you now or walking away. And I can’t do that.”

“We are in the same place. I know it is always going to lurk in the back of our minds but it is what it is. Epicureanism is the way to go.”

Andrew squeezed her shoulder and they walked hand in hand over to West Kensington. As the temperature fell they went into the Science Museum from 3.00 to 5.00 and wandered aimlessly just having fun. As it closed, they crossed the street and Andrew got himself registered in the Imperial Halls of Residence and was told that the doors were locked at 10.00. The last train Ara could catch to get home left Waterloo at 8.15 so it worked out perfectly. They walked down into Chelsea and found an overpriced restaurant on the King’s Road. The food at least was delicious and they had a lovely time. Ara was of the same opinion as Andrew that Imperial were going to be miffed at being third on his list and that the interviews the next day would be similar to those of that day. After dinner they strolled hand in hand back into the centre of the city going past the back of Buckingham Palace and across Westminster Bridge until they were at Waterloo Station with 10 minutes to spare.

“I am glad I came up today. I feel like we have a short term plan at least. It will be a long three weeks but I will try and call you a couple of times, okay?”

“Of course it is okay, and thank you for coming to meet me. It will be January before you know it.”

Their parting kiss was long and tender.

Imperial was worse than University College and Andrew could have skipped the interviews with both of them altogether. They did not even show any interest in the Open University transcript. Andrew wondered why he had even been brought down for an interview, they seemed to just be going through the motions. He was scheduled for two hours and was done in an hour and 10 minutes. The UCCA process needed to have some way of letting you know that the elite universities get really pissed off if you don’t put them first. Based on the way the two London colleges behaved, there would be no point in applying to Cambridge and Oxford as whichever one you put on the list second would take it as a mortal insult. Andrew took the Tube back to King’s Cross this time and was on an early afternoon train to Cambridge. Since he had time to kill he walked up to Trinity College, the rain was light and Andrew was mentally dawdling along. He paid the entrance fee and walked through the Botanic Garden but looked without seeing anything, it was nothing more a relaxing stroll. His route took him north past three or four other colleges before arriving at the main lodge at Trinity College just before 4.00. The porters were polite but distant, with too many applicants chasing too few spots they could afford to wait to see who got in.