Chapter 1

Nikki and Fran were waiting at the station when Andrew and June disembarked from the train. The two of them lugged his tripod and big camera bag along the platform and Andrew did the introductions. June gave them both a big hug and Andrew could tell from their demeanour that the constant underlying tension of judgement left them. Andrew guessed they didn’t even realise they had been tense but regardless June was discreet until they were all in Fran’s car. Andrew sat smiling as June unleashed a thousand questions on them. She was not judgemental so much as fascinated and just chatted away, asking the about living two lives, about same sex attraction, about everything. Once June’s initial barrage of questions was answered Andrew took the opportunity to talk through the ceremony in two weeks.

“How extensive do you want the photographs to be? Am I to treat this as a wedding? I have seen a couple of the wedding albums of my cousins and they show some behind the scenes shots before the actual ceremony. Some shots while everyone gets their hair and makeup done, the walk to the car before the drive to the church, that sort of thing. Do you want me to do that for you or is it a different feel to your weekend?”

They looked at each other, unsure how to respond.

“You probably want to discuss this between yourselves so you don’t have to decide right now. It is more a logistical issue, if you want the whole day documented then we will come through on the Friday night. If it is a more traditional event then we can meet you at the venue.”

The morning was spent going through all the issues. June and Andrew walked down to the corner shop to get out the flat and let Nikki and Fran have some time to make their decision in private. They decided on the simple version, documenting the occasion but not all the preparations as well. Then June helped them work on their posing, jumping in and out of the shot, showing them ways to stand, hold their heads, focusing on the main things so as not to swamp them with details. She worked them hard for an hour but Andrew could tell that the pictures flattered them at the end, without making either of them look fake or unnatural.

After lunch they drove over to the venue. It was a small country inn, near a tiny village called Balmaha on the eastern shore of Loch Lomond. The couple that owned it were both kind and very savvy. They had zero personal problems with gay or lesbian couples. Much like Andrew, they just didn’t care. What they realised was that there was money to be made. Their reputation as a gay-friendly location made them one of the obvious places in the west of Scotland for commitment ceremonies. When they arrived there was a ceremony happening out in the garden between two gay men. There were at least 70 guests, and Andrew found out that the inn was booked solid for two nights and the catering and booze bills were enormous for the two days. He had to laugh, that in these tough economic times, not being prejudiced was a way to make a good living. There was a moral in there.

Once the ceremony was over and the ‘wedding’ party was in the marquee enjoying drinks, the four of them walked through the ceremony. It was short, and although it was sweet and full of love there was a poignant air to it. At the end of the day, Nikki and Fran deserved more. June helped the two of them again with some posing but only here and there. They both had listened that morning and their poses were natural and relaxed. She did change a couple of shots which did make them better but only a few. With a view out over the fields running down to the Loch half a mile away, it was tough to go wrong. If the weather cooperated then Andrew was sure he would get some spectacular shots of Nikki and Fran’s big day. They drove back down into Glasgow, and after parking the car, walked into the city centre for dinner before June and Andrew got an evening train.

“How many shots did you take today Andrew?”

Fran had been, surprisingly, the more nervous, the more tentative all day.

“Only around 65 or so, I think there are six or seven shots left on the roll. I will finish it tomorrow morning and then get the rolls developed on Monday. I should get the three rolls developed without a problem.”

“You learned to develop film in the darkroom just for us?” Nikki asked.

“No, I have been developing my own rolls of film for four, no nearly five years. I worked in a camera shop and did a lot of developing before my cancer. I still develop the odd roll of film. Tony, the guy who owns the camera shop, he lets me use his darkroom whenever I need it.”

“So the film won’t be developed by someone else. It will be just you?”

“Just me, no one else will see the pictures.”

Again Andrew didn’t think either of them knew how relieved they were appearing. June had smiled enigmatically as he talked about the darkroom. After dinner Andrew hugged both his friends and quietly told them to behave on their hen parties. The squeals and whacks were worth it and as he and June walked over to the station to catch the train home Andrew was happy for his two friends. On the train, the conversation took an interesting turn as Andrew came to understand June’s expression when they were talking about the darkroom.

“I had a fun day Andrew, and your friends are a really nice couple.”

“I am glad you had fun, I think you helped them a lot and the pictures will be better because of the pointers you gave them. You kept it simple and didn’t bombard them with too many details.”

“Can we talk about my own modelling Andrew? I want to keep modelling for you, and as frequently as we can manage. I don’t understand why I need to model but I do. I know you don’t think I listen to you but I really do. I know how grateful you are for my help and you talk about my artistic ability and intellect all the time. But it does not touch me the same way being told I am pretty or sexy does. So I want to keep modelling and trying different things. I have been making some new clothes and want you to shoot me in them as well as in a couple of other outfits. What I need is for you to be my photographer though. I have gone to some auditions and, ugh, most photographers are horrible, ugly perverts. All they want to do is get you topless or naked.”

“Are they all like that?”

“All? No probably not, but it feels like it. Partly it has been the age thing, they are Dad’s age or older. If it was some cute university student then it might be a different but so far it is the old perv brigade. The truth is though, I am thinking about that type of modelling and ending up topless or even naked at the end of a shoot. The rush that I feel when I am the centre of attention and getting all the compliments is like nothing else. That is why I was so pleased to find out that you can develop your own pictures. It allows me the freedom to push the envelope if I want.”

Andrew sat there as the train rumbled across southern Scotland looking and feeling a bit stunned. Yet how was it any different than Maggie? Andrew had met Monica the model first and only then got to know the real person afterwards. Would it be any different knowing June first and the seeing Jackie the model, or whatever name she came up with?

“I also know that I can trust you and am more likely to have to talk you into taking the shots than the other way round. I wanted to talk to you in advance so that you did not freak out when it finally happens.”

June snuggled up next to him and sat quietly. Andrew pondered about what she had said. Part of him was all for it. it was legal and June knew herself well enough to understand that she was going to do this at some point. But did he want to photograph her topless or even naked? She said she trusted him and he suppressed a shudder as he thought about the way she described some of the photographers she had met on auditions. Andrew had no qualms about taking the shots, what he did feel uncomfortable about was why she wanted to take the pictures in the first place. But he could not understand or control everybody. Andrew thought about his immediate response, to talk her out of it, to make June feel valued for something other than her looks. But she had told him he had done all that. The train slowed as they came into Haymarket and he knew that if this is what she wanted to do then he would help and support her. As they got off the train Andrew finally responded as they walked towards the exit.

“You know that I will let you set the pace. Thanks for giving the heads up and the time to think it through in my head. I will take whatever pictures you want.”

She gave him a big hug and a quick kiss. It was going to be an interesting year.

The following morning he and Suzanne arrived within minutes of each other and were soon swimming in adjacent lanes. She stopped after 45 minutes saying that she was pooped and that she would see him in the lobby. Andrew knew he could swim for an additional 15 minutes and still beat her to the lobby. They walked over to Clerk Street and found a café for some breakfast.

“How are you this morning?”

The started chatting once the waitress had taken their order.

“Good Andrew, you?”

They made nothing more than idle chit chat until the food arrived and it was not until the table was clear that he turned their conversation to a more serious topic.

“Can I ask you something personal?”

She smiled at him.

“Sure. Given how we spent last Thursday I doubt that there is much that could surprise or embarrass me.”

“What turns you on?”

“Wow that is an interesting question. What turns me on?”

She mulled it over for a quite a while and then started to blush.

“The way certain guys look, I like guys that are rugged, rather than pretty boys. Those are the kind I am attracted to. That is the initial attraction and then it is how they treat me. I hate grabby guys, always trying to feel up the girls.”

She looked down to indicate what she meant.

“Other than that I am not sure I know myself. The way you treat me in bed turns me on but I am not sure what bits. I like that you can throw me around, that turns me on. Having been weight conscious for years, for that to be utterly irrelevant is a huge turn on. Now that I talk about it, a strong man turns me on. Someone who can lessen my own insecurities. But that is a very fresh feeling.”

She looked at him.

“What made you ask?”

“I have been thinking a lot about what turns me on. Other than knowing that the other person is really enjoying themselves I am not sure what else turns me on? Intelligence, curiosity, openness. They all seem very generic. I look at the people that I have gone out with and there is no pattern. Smartest person in the school, drop out at 16; pasty white, Indian parents; just friends, just someone to fuck; tiny women, bigger women; redheads, blondes, brunettes, jet black hair; A-cup to D-cup. I like women, they turn me on. I don’t care about a lot of characteristics.”

He laughed at himself.

“I am such a slut.”

Suzanne laughed with him but thought about what he had said.

“You do seem to be all over the place. You are very approachable and, if you think about it, you probably know the most women in the school. You coached 30 4^th to 6^th years for two terms. You are a prefect who is known to most of the girls in the senior school. Hannah, Allie, Katie and Tanvi all say nice things about you even although they all dumped you. Then there is us. Your best friend in school is a girl. Mine is a guy. Some of the girls call us the odd couple like the movie. Nobody really understands us but for a lot of people it makes you very safe. We might be odd but you are this nice guy, a safe date.”

She paused while he thought through everything she said then carried on.

“Part of your trouble is that nobody turns you down.”

Andrew looked startled at this but it was true, had anyone laughed at him and said no?