Chapter 35: Hammer and Nails

After a big pancake breakfast, Blossom gathered all the children into the ballroom to start school. Blossom said she was going to start with math and see where that led. Lynn was going to continue her research into the Church and as many of its tentacles as she could uncover. Erin was going to The Bar-Bar to check on the damage and the repairs. I decided to go with Erin.

Erin wanted to drive the SUV so I got in the passenger side and took several minutes to stare.

“What?” She finally asked.

“Nothing, except I was just thinking who the guy was who came up with the idea that women should carry their purses with the strap over their heads so it rides between the tits. It just makes them so much better to look at.”

Erin looked down at the seatbelt which had snuggled neatly between her massive breasts.

“You know in the time I’ve been with you I still can’t figure if you’re a tit man or an ass man.”

“I can honestly say that I’m a Mrs. O’Dell man. How often have I cuddled up to your butt? More than to your tits? How about Lynn or Blossom?

“Well, poor Blossom doesn’t really have much to cuddle to in the tit department.”

“No, but I will admit that I think her milk is the best tasting. And I love the way Lynn purrs when I cuddle to her tits.”

“And what about Mrs. Erin O’Dell?”

“Erin, I can honestly say that I have never cuddled up to you anywhere that was not a pleasure. It would seem that everywhere I get to touch just takes away my stress and my worries.”

Erin pulled the SUV over in the parking lot of a small business park. She stopped the motor and turned to me, tears in her eyes.

“Thank you, Paul. I can’t think of anything that you could have said that would have been more wonderful to hear.”

She leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Now reach in the glove box and hand me a couple of tissues so I can drive.”

I opened the glove box, retrieved two tissues and handed them to my beautiful, blonde wife. She dabbed her eyes, blew her nose, and kissed me on the cheek again before starting the SUV and proceeding to The Bar-Bar.

Pulling into the parking lot she join a dozen Harley’s and a couple of cars. We both knew what was going on. I made a big deal of being disappointed when Erin’s seatbelt no longer accentuated her massive breasts and she made a point of removing her seatbelt as slowly as possible.

“Will we have enough hose to get all of the taps connected?”

“Yeah, unless you plan to add more taps. Doing it like this there won’t be but four or five inches of tubing that is not refrigerated. The boss will have the coldest taps in town.”

“I’ll have the coldest tits in town?” Erin asked loudly as she came in the door at the tail end of the two bikers conversation.

“Taps! Not tits! And don’t talk that way, you’ll piss off the Boss.”

The man speaking turned around from the taps he’d been working on and saw Erin enter the bar. He froze and smiled, almost falling off the stepladder he was working on.

“Erin!”

“Hi DB. What are you and the Brothers up to?”

“Did I hear someone say “Erin”, DB?” Bosco Barker said coming out of the cooler.

He rounded the corner and saw Erin and Paul. His face burst into the biggest smile he could muster and he ran to his two dear friends, embracing Erin first and then Paul.

“Brother!” Bosco said, greeting me.

“Brother!” I replied warmly.

“Bosco! Are you sitting down again?” A woman’s voice boomed from around the corner.

“No, my darling, my love.”

“What did you s ... Erin!”

Teri Barker screamed and ran to the woman that had stood as her bridesmaid when she married Bosco. She ignored Paul all together for several seconds but when she directed her attention to him she planted a big wet kiss on his lips, holding just long enough to make Bosco cough to get her attention.

“Teri ... my love ... my darling?”

“What?” She replied.

“Why are you kissing my dear friend and Brother like that?”

“Because, my wonderful husband, as I recall, the night you told me that Paul asked you to give me a big wet kiss on the lips and that led to the birth of our darling daughter.”

“So were you planning on having a darling daughter with Paul?” Bosco inquired.

“Can I?” Teri asked.

“My love, you know you could if you wished. He’s my Brother.”

“Uh, Bosco? Teri?”

“Yes Paul?” Teri said looking very deeply into my eyes.

“It is not my wish or intention to have a baby with you. As much as I love you and your body, I couldn’t do that to my Brother Bosco.”

“Damn! Bosco it looks like you’re going to have to knock me up again.”

“Again? I thought you said that one was enough.”

“I’ve decided that two would be perfect ... especially since I’m already with child.”

“Mine?”

“Bosco, I’m going to shoot you twice and enjoy it both times! Of course yours! Who else would I let violate this perfect body? It is perfect, right? You do keep telling me it’s perfect, right?”

“Teri, please tell me you’re not jerking me around. Another baby? Really?”

“Yes, you big goof and if it’s a boy we’re going to name him Paul and if it’s a girl we’re going to name her Erin.”

“What?” Erin stopped laughing at the antics of her two dear friends.

“You heard me, my dear. I owe you that at least.”

“What are you doing here, Teri?”

“We’re fixing up the damage from the shooting.”

“I understood that the damage was to some beer kegs and liquor bottles.”

“Yeah, well we decided that while we were at it, we’d look over Marcus list of things to fix and do those too.”

“Marcus had a list? He never gave it to me.”

“You’ll have to talk to him about that. He’s going to be here in about an hour. How are you and the others dear. What happened in McCall?”

“Oh shit, Teri. The past few weeks have been a nightmare. Are you working or can we talk?”

“We can talk. Hang on a sec. Bosco!”

“Yeah.”

“I need to talk to Erin, keep things moving OK?”

“Yeah, darling.”

Teri led Erin to a table over by the stage and the two took a seat where Erin explain all the events since they took the girls to school. In the meantime, Paul and Bosco began to look over the work being done. Bosco took Paul into the cooler.

“The bitch that shot up the cooler didn’t do a great job. She mostly shot kegs and pressure regulators. We got the kegs off the floor and onto a low platform, then we got six new pressure regulators. We moved the CO2 bottles outside with a small nitrogen bottle for the Guinness. All the lines are running through the cooler and so the beer should all be down around thirty-five to thiry-eight degrees. We set a line outside in case Erin or Marcus wants a room temp Guinness line.”

“Looks good, Bosco. I heard that the shooter put holes in the ceiling too.”

“Yeah, we looked at that and found holes through the roof. I’ve got three guys up there doing a new roof on the back side. They said that the front slope of the roof was in good shape. We’re gonna completely replace the ceiling when the roof’s done. It has holes from pool cues and various and assorted thrown drinks and a few stains as well. There’s a few guys redoing the plumbing in the bathrooms and the lighting as well. It should all be done in time to open this weekend.”

“Bosco this is great. Erin was so worried. So what’s the word on Marcus?”

“He’s out of commission for a while. The bat didn’t just break the bone. It shattered it. He had to have surgery and they had to insert some rods and tubes and stuff or his left arm would have been three inches shorter than his right.”

“Oh shit, we didn’t hear that.”

“Yeah and one of the bone shards almost penetrated an artery. He’d have bled out in minutes. Teri did a number on that bitch. Her face will never look normal again. Tim is doing good. The bullet that hit him didn’t hit anything important.”

“Nobody else got hit, right?”

“Right.”

“Make sure any bills for Tim get to us. We’ll cover everything. And of course all costs for this work come to us and make sure that we get billed for the time these guys are putting in. Find out what the union equivalent is.”

“OK. Thanks.”

“Hell, if any of the guys doing the work need repairs on their bikes tell them we’ll cover that too. I can’t tell you how much this means to us.”

“Come on and help me with this run of tubing.”

I went into the cooler with Bosco and we worked running beer lines and securing them to the walls. We finished the job and turned the cooler on. We ran liquid through the lines and none leaked. It would take several hours for the temperature to get down to where it was to remain. We were checking for various bits of debris left from the cutting and fitting when we heard a scream from the front of the bar.

We ran out to see Erin and Teri in tears and trying to figure out how to hug Marcus. His arm was in some sort of a contraption that immobilized it completely but did so in a very awkward position. Geoffrey was with him. I suddenly felt really relieved that the two men were still together. Marcus had had so many boyfriends but Geoffrey had become his partner.

He was an EMT and also a good friend. Idaho hadn’t yet recognized same sex marriages but as soon as they did these two were going to be as near to the front of the line as possible and the O’Dells were going to throw a huge party to honor the occasion.

“Marcus!” I said joyfully.

“Paul! Hello! How are you?”

“How am I? How the hell are you? What’s the word on the injury and the healing and any rehab?”

“Well, it took a lot of cutting and pasting to get the arm the same length as the other. I think they put some Legos in there too. And it has to be in the brace and cast for about two months then I’m going to have to learn to use the hand again. Some of the tendons were messed up. The doc says that once I start rehab that I should get my grip strength back in another six weeks.”

“I guess that’s good,” I said, not knowing. “Make sure you send all of the bills to us, Marcus. And I do mean everything. You’re still on salary but if the lack of tips is causing any problems with bills and such, you let Erin know.”

“Thanks. It means a lot. My big worry now is that I’m going to lose my latest crop of peppers. I can’t work the garden.”

“Can you hire someone to do that? If so let us know and we’ll cover the cost.”

“Really? For peppers?”

“Hell yes, Marcus,” Erin said. “This happened because you were defending my place. You’re the manager but this is my baby and you got hurt defending it. After all is said and done, I don’t want you spending a penny of your own money to fix anything this injury is causing. Period! Geoffrey, when in doubt send me the bill.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“See, Marcus. Your husband knows how to answer.”

“He’s not my husband...”

“Yet! When Idaho passes that law you two better be right near the front of the line or I will drag you there.”

“Geoffrey I think I see a shotgun wedding in our future.”

“Marcus, after all we’ve been through if you don’t marry me, I’ll be the one holding the shotgun.”

“Oh my,” Marcus said, blushing.

Teri and Erin were chuckling at the interplay between the two men who were acting like an old married couple already. But things finally settled down and Erin called over to Bosco.

“Bosco, where is Tim? And who’s taking care of him?”

“He’s at the house but I don’t think he has anyone to take care of him.”

“What!? A nice guy like him?”

“Erin, he’s very shy. Teri has tried to fix him up but none of the girls seem to be able to put up with his shyness.”

“Now that’s not totally true. Wendy Wendy likes him a lot but he never calls her and she can’t break through her conservative younger years and isn’t going to make the first move.”

“The hell with that! Wait! I thought Wendy was gay.” Erin said.

“She is but apparently not where Tim is concerned,” Teri said quietly.

“Teri call her up and tell her to meet you at Tim’s house. Tell her that she is now officially his nurse. I’ll bet that she doesn’t even know Tim’s been shot.”

“She likes him a lot,” Teri said. “I’ll bet she’ll be there in a flash when she hears.”

“Call her!” Erin commanded.

Teri Barker took out her phone like a woman on a mission. She punched a speed dial button and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings for the call to be answered.

“Hello?”

“Wendy, this is Teri Barker. I need you to get over to Tim Manly’s house right away. He’s been shot and needs some nursing and care.”

“What? How? When?”

“I’ll answer all that at the house. He’s over there all by himself and he needs someone to help him. He needs you, Wendy.”

“I’m on my way.”

“If they’re not married in 3 months I’m going to chain them together!” Teri said after hanging up the call.

“Then you better get over there. My money says Tim will be too shy to open the door,” Bosco said.