Chapter 2: The Herd Invades Kansas City

While Blossom was doing the planning for our road trip, she arranged with a Hampton Inn to let us park in their big lot overnight. She also got a single hotel room for one night so the kids and her spouses would have access to a shower. As a part of the deal she arranged for the Herd to be able to use their breakfast facilities.

When Lynn and I came down after our shower, love making, and another shower, we found the kids, the girls, Erin and Blossom having scrambled eggs and sausage and oatmeal. They each also had a couple of bananas. Lynn joined her wives and while I was fixing breakfast for Lynn and me, she and the other mom’s put the infants in their nursing slings and nursed the infants.

To avoid any issues with other guests, the moms all sat with their backs to the rest of the room while they nursed. Once again, the Herd impressed those in the room with their politeness and willingness to help clean up. I think the children left the area cleaner than they found it. The girls and the kids all thanked the breakfast attendant, much to her surprise and delight. They also thanked the desk clerk on our way out. Blossom left a big tip for the staff. The Herd rocks!

Back in the bus, the girls changed the infant’s diapers, then the mom’s and I put the infants in their car seats. The kids got into their seats and were able to buckle their own seat belts. When the girls finished with their siblings they got into their seats and belted in.

“Before we start, I want to tell you all, Margaret Erin, Penelope Erin, Paula Erin, Amy Erin, Beth Erin, Clara Erin, Genevieve Lynn, Erin Lynn, Martha Lynn, Wanda Lynn, Gwenyth Blossom, and of course William Blossom, how proud I am of the way you behaved at breakfast.” I actually started to tear up. “I am so honored that children like you have my name. Thank you.”

I was greeted with a chorus of “You’re welcome’s” and then hugs from my wives. Blossom was the first driver of the day. She sat in the driver’s seat and made the adjustments for her little body. Then she started the motor, retracted all of the extended portions of the bus and the auto-levelers.

“Is everyone ready?” She called out.

The bus echoed with a loud combined “Yes!” so she checked the instrument panel and set the GPS.

“OK, O’Dell’s, we’re on our way to Olathe, Kansas by way of the State of Nebraska.”

“Why Nebraska, Blossom?” Erin asked.

“You’ll see,” she answered.

As we rolled out of the foothills of Wyoming and into Nebraska, we found ourselves looking at miles and miles of sunflowers. There were also rolling hills which broke up the boredom of driving though the grasslands of Kansas. We rolled along at the speed limit, which varied between 55 MPH in the construction areas and 80 MPH out in the boonies. Semis were limited to 70 MPH, but buses were exempt from that law.

The bus handled really well, and the ride was so smooth that we sometimes felt like we were floating. That got me to thinking that in the future we needed to find a safe way to sit around a Scrabble board or the Monopoly board when we were moving instead of just reading or watching a movie in our seats.

The drive was almost ten hours long. We stopped after three hours, and Erin took over driving on the second shift. I got up and put in a new DVD that I’d bought for the trip. It was the western “Silverado”. The Herd was enthralled with the horses and the fact that the land we were driving through was like the land in the movie.

When the movie was over Lynn told Blossom to pull over at the next rest or truck stop to change drivers. Blossom extended the drive for another forty minutes before pulling over. Lynn took the driver’s seat and she pulled back onto the freeway, Blossom took my lap and cuddled until there was a tug on her sleeve.

“Blossom Mom could I please cuddle with daddy?”

“Yes, of course, Erin Lynn, I was just warming his lap up for you.”

Erin Lynn climbed up on my lap and pulled her knees to her chest, curling up in a little blonde ball.

“Are you all right, my little love?”

“Yes, Daddy. I like to curl up.”

I put my arms around my little blond love and enjoyed the ride. We talked about the family and her new brothers and sisters. Erin Lynn seemed to be most talkative when I asked about the line dancing, she did during Blossom Mom’s school class. It seemed that our family had a burgeoning dancer on our hands.

After about an hour, William tugged on my sleeve.

“Daddy, it’s my turn.”

“Erin Lynn would you please let William cuddle with me?”

“Yes, Daddy. Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too, my little love.” I kissed Erin Lynn’s head and hugged her before she climbed off my lap.

William took her place and he took his time to settle down. I thought that he would be very talkative, but he wasn’t. William cuddled and didn’t say a word. His slow breathing had me thinking that he had fallen asleep but looking down at him I saw his eyes open as he just watched the miles fly by the window.

About an hour later, William looked up at me.

“Daddy, I need to go to the bathroom,” he sounded so very calm.

“OK, William. Is one of your sisters going to sit with me?”

“I think so.”

“Well, you go to the bathroom, and then I will, and then we can see if I can get another Godzilla movie in the DVD player.”

Now he was excited. “Which one?”

“I think, I’ll surprise you.”

William scooted off and headed for the first bathroom. I stood and walked to the second one. When I came back, William was in his seat looking at me with anticipation. I went to the DVD player and had a sudden thought. The movie I was thinking of wouldn’t make any sense to the kids without another movie first.

“Kids, this is an old movie. It is so old it was made before movies were in color.”

“Wow!” The Herd all responded together.

I put in the disc and pressed the play button. The movie opened with a clear plastic globe and an old propeller driven airplane flying around it followed by the word “Universal”. The kids watched as the title came on the screen. “King Kong”. The story slowly unfolded until all of a sudden there was the giant ape. Over the next hour and a half there were several gasps and a few screams.

But all of the kids were in tears at the end when Kong was killed. I was surprised by their reaction and looked at Blossom and Erin. They didn’t show a lot of concern, but I was worried.

“My darling children. You know that this is a make-believe movie, right?” They nodded slowly. “Well in movie world, monsters sometimes come back.”

I put in the next movie and watched with glee as “King Kong vs Godzilla” brought cheers from the Herd. The kids had a ball watching the two cheesy monsters fight it out. Erin Lynn was once again going crazy because the actor’s words and lip movements didn’t match up.

While the movie was running, Lynn pulled over and Erin took over for her shift driving. Lynn walked back to the bathroom and then came and settled on my lap to watch the rest of the movie. The kids cheered at the end because neither of the monsters died. I took out the disc and replaced it with “The Princess Bride”.

The children cheered and Blossom served them some snacks and water. As we timed the driving shifts it worked out that the wives changed drivers every three hours and that meant that I took the last short leg to Michael’s house.

We stopped just outside of Lincoln, Nebraska and I took my shift. I drove the two hours through downtown KC and then followed the Interstate as it crossed over from Kansas to Missouri and back to Kansas before driving south past Overland Park and Lenexa, into Olathe. I pulled off I-35 and onto 119^th street.

“Kids be sure that you are belted in. We are going to go through a lot of stop and go traffic.”

“OK, Daddy,” again it was a chorus response.

I drove down the six-lane thoroughfare and turned down a couple of other streets before I turned onto Michael’s street. As I pulled up in front of his house, I remembered that last time we had seen Michael and Belinda.

Belinda had been married to Michael’s best friend, Boomer. He and Boomer served together for 36 months in Afghanistan. When they came home, Boomer had problems with PTSD and killed himself. Since Michael wasn’t married, Boomer and he had made a pact that if anything happened to Boomer, Michael would take care of Belinda and Boomer’s three kids.

After Boomer took his life, Belinda gave a letter to Michael. It was from Boomer and reminded him of his vow to take care of Belinda and the kids if something happened to him. The letter contained a gold wedding ring, in Michael’s size. Boomer explained that he could no longer live with the current direction of the country, and of the lack of honor and honesty among almost everyone he dealt with.

Michael explained that it was Boomer’s intent that he marry Belinda and adopt their kids. I suppose there was more to the story but since then I’d had my Houston adventure and the home invasion and all of the kids, well I just hadn’t paid attention. Besides, I’m not a great communicator when it comes to my first daughter and first son.

Lynn had gotten in touch with Belinda, so she at least knew we were coming and that we had a lot of things to catch up on. Michael knew how I was, and he was prepared for some surprises. I’m not sure he was ready for three, not two wives, or seventeen kids. I guess we would see. At least we didn’t have to worry about his church congregation. Michael didn’t go to church.

While I was doing all this remembering, Lynn had opened the door to the bus and walked up to the house. Erin and Blossom were getting the infants ready and the girls were helping with the kids. As Lynn approached the front door to the house, it opened, and a cute blond welcomed her with open arms.

The door closed and I got out of the driver’s seat to offer my help with the Herd.

“Daddy, can you help me with William? He is wiggling a lot,” Margaret asked.

“Sure. William? Do you need to go potty?”

“Yes, Daddy, a lot,” he said still wiggling.

I quickly picked him up and took him to the bathroom. He went in, pulled down his pants and sat on the toilet. I closed the door and looked at a slightly distressed Margaret Erin.

“What’s wrong, my little love?”

“I wanted to help him.”

“I know, but he said he really had to go, so I figured getting him to the bathroom fast was pretty important. I’ll let you take over from here. OK?”

“Sure, you get to help him, and I get to wipe his butt.”

I broke out laughing and hugged my oldest blond daughter.

“Will it make you feel better if I wipe his butt?”

“Yes. I love him, but he stinks.”

“Wait until he has White Castles,” I smiled and raised my eyebrows.

“Are they really that bad?”

“Well, you remember when I brought the frozen one’s home from the store? The fresh one’s taste SO much better and make you fart SO much more.”

“Wow,” she said in amazement.

I hugged Margaret and kissed the top of her head before going back to the bathroom door. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

“Margaret?”

“No son, it’s your father. Do you need help?”

“Yes please.”

I opened the door and was greeted by a real stink. It wasn’t quite eye-watering stinky, but it was pretty thick. William looked at bit worried.

“Do I need to wipe you, William?”

“No Daddy. But there is no toilet paper.”

I looked and sure enough, the roll was empty. I reached into the overhead and pulled down a new roll, unwrapped it and put in on the toilet paper holder.

“There you go. Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“Yes sir. Margaret Erin showed me how to do it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you positive?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure, you’re positive?”

“Yes Daddy!” William said firmly.

“Are you positive, you’re sure?”

“Daddy! Yes!”

I laughed at my son’s desperation and closed the door. A few minutes later the bathroom door opened, William came out, and Erin’s phone rang. I looked towards the front of the bus and just couldn’t help myself.

“William! You set off Erin Mom’s stink detector!”

I laughed, Margaret laughed as she approached her little brother, and even William laughed. I walked to the front of the bus as Lynn came out of the house with a smiling Belinda trailing behind her. I leaned over the control panel and pushed the button to open the door.

“Paul, is the Herd ready?” Lynn asked as she got on and moved towards the back.

“The Herd? That sound ominous as all get out,” Belinda said with a smile as I stepped off the bus.

“I know. Hi, Belinda, how are you?” I held my arms open and hugged my daughter-in-law. I assumed she was. I never really knew if she married Michael. Damn! It hit me what a crappy father I’d been to Michael.

“I’m great, Paul. Michael is off on a special emergency grocery store run. He should be home in about fifteen minutes. Are you guys ready to come inside? The kids are anxious to meet their cousins.”

“Let’s go Herd!” I yelled into the open bus door. The Herd began filing off the bus. They clustered up until Erin came off with Hanna Erin and Elyse Erin in their nursing slings. Then Blossom exited the bus with Roger in his sling, and finally Lynn came out with Paul and Benjamin in their slings.

“Kids gather around your moms please,” I asked the Herd and they responded immediately.

“Belinda, you’ve already talked to and remember my first wife, Lynn. Those are our latest twins, Paul Lynn and Benjamin Lynn in the nursing sling. The middle set of twins are Martha Lynn and Wanda Lynn. And the oldest twins are Genevieve Lynn and Erin Lynn. The moms all use the slings when they nurse the infants or if they need a free hand.”