Chapter 75

The stretch of time up to Christmas in 1981 was the most normal teenage time of Andrew’s life up to that point. The main reason was that the business was going nowhere. As expected they had heard nothing from the government after shipping the disks with the program to them. The three of them had spent several Saturdays downloading the program onto disks. The satisfaction of getting such a substantial amount done did not last long. They had been paid promptly but the whole thing had been unsatisfying. All three of them felt it. Leslie had lots of ideas for extending the scope of the program, and the three of them spent many hours mapping out the functionality of the new features. Julian and Andrew continued to work away at the program but the intensity and focus was not there as before. They needed the prospect of an actual sale to kick up the enthusiasm.

Kyle Turner did call Leslie to thank her, as the government had contacted ComputerCom at last and he told her they were in negotiations, but he did not say about what. She in turn did not share AIMS with him, and had long ago given up trying to get CSG to return her calls. They had managed to sell some of the programs as a result of some political manoeuvring but otherwise nothing was happening. Most frustratingly they did not know who had the programs or even if they were being deployed. There was just no way to influence anyone to generate additional sales. All of this meant that the computing and work part of Andrew’s life was on the back burner. It was frustrating at the time but all three of them made the most of it. They worked together more than ever before that term. Even if there was not business to be discussed Leslie was often round at Julian’s flat on a Saturday. The three of them hung out together a lot.

Julian found university harder than he anticipated. Coupled with moving into his own place, he struggled for a time that first term. Part of his challenge was that his head was turned by a lot of pretty women. His relationship with June had foundered at the end of the summer, both of them were ready to move on and the break was clean without drama. He calmed down as the term went on but the first half of the term he was a bit lost, not helped by going crazy at Fresher’s week. Again Andrew saw the impact of uncontrolled booze on people.

As for Leslie she was thriving. The difference in her demeanour since she started in the business faculty was astounding. She was destined to be a tycoon, and as she was the business brains behind their operation, they were very lucky. In contrast her personal life was a mess. When talking to Andrew and Faith three years earlier she had conveyed the impression of being in control at high school, not a slave to her emotions. Andrew now began to doubt that. For more than a year he had seen her have a social life and engage in a bunch of clubs and societies. She met lots of people and went on dates most weekends, but there was no connection, at least that Andrew saw. He was rarely introduced to any of her university friends, which he was okay with. They lived separate lives and the age difference was still significant. In five years Andrew would be graduating university and it would be hardly worthy of comment but right then it was all people saw.

It was not just the physical time that was different with the business it was also the mental energy. It was there in the background but it was not all-consuming. Some of Andrew’s issues with Katie and Tanvi were due to the impact of the business. During the previous year it was clear he had been trying to do too much and the time and the focus on them had suffered. When Andrew stopped and looked back on that six months it was clear that trying to pseudo-date two young women at the same time was also a recipe for disaster. HIs life that term was in balance and he could physically feel the difference. The mental and the psychological affected the physical.

Andrew’s relationship with the four girls he had previously gone out with was interesting as well. He and Allie had gone out a couple of times coming up for two years earlier. They still had five classes together so Andrew saw her every day, but she kept her distance. Nothing overt but they moved in different circles. He still saw Dom, her father, at most games and had said hi to him if the occasion demanded. But like Allie with him, Andrew kept his distance as much as possible. They had gone out when they were both young and that was all it was. A month in the winter of 3^rd year.

He and Hannah had to see each other every day in the close confines of the prefect’s common room. They did a pretty good job of staying friends. The easy camaraderie of the past was lost, that was inevitable, but neither of them made any stupid or snide comments. They wanted different things and their timing was off. She was still a friend, and like Allie Andrew saw her in nearly all his classes.

He needed to separate Katie and Tanvi in his mind. Although Andrew felt badly about the way he had treated them, Katie bounced back quickly from their split. She had used him to get a handle on her thoughts on relationships and all that they involved. Andrew was her stabilisers and at the end of her 5^th year she was ready to cast him off. She came back to school with a boyfriend and seemed to have had several since term started. There was definitely no pining going on there. It lessened Andrew’s feeling of being a poor friend. They chatted away quite happily at hockey on both Thursday and Saturday and he had said hi to her mother a couple of times at games.

Tanvi and Andrew took much longer to get comfortable with each other. She had broken it off with him but seemed unhappy. Suzanne told him that she was not seeing anyone else and her opinion was that Tanvi wanted to go back out with him. The circumstances for something like that to happen just were not there. He and Tanvi had a lot of fun together but they also talked the most as well. Tanvi was a serious soul who had been blessed with a stunning face but a nerd’s personality. She wanted to be a doctor like her father and she studied hard. The perfect time to have gone out with Tanvi would have been the current year, a break from studying and a relaxed night out. She was also a product of her upbringing and deferred to her parents, she was not a rebel. She had a degree of freedom, and she had spoken to Andrew about how her parents were very liberal for Indians. She brought out feelings in him of wanting to protect her, look after her. Andrew could see the two of them lying back on the couch chatting away rather than going out. Not in a happily ever after kind of way, just that kind of date suited them better. He would often look through the photo album remembering that day. It was guaranteed to bring a smile to his face.

After Julian and June had split up, June spoke to Andrew more at school. Her best friend Mary had been made a prefect and although they were still always together between classes, June made more of an effort to talk to other people that year, including him. Andrew knew that June had a seriously sexy side to her, which you would never guess at school. June had liked being a model, it was clear that she responded to the camera. Some of the shots he had taken on that photoshoot at Julian’s house were very hot indeed. Being typically Andrew, he never mentioned the photoshoot to anyone but it was fascinating to know that beneath the demure exterior presented at school was a serious hotty. Maybe it was her age, June was the oldest person in the year and would turn 17 within a week of the New Year. Andrew’s own maturity had grown over the last year, so maybe this was part of it. Either way June Wyatt was a fun friend to have at school.

Then there was Suzanne. When Andrew made the decision to trust her she changed with him. There was an intimacy to their friendship now that was startling in its suddenness. She needed someone to talk to and had been looking for that friend. For whatever reason she never was able to get another close female friend after Paula left. So she was stuck with him. Like everyone else, she was confused about life, relationships, sex and she had major trust issues with guys. Being the girl with the biggest bust in the year ever since she had started at Heriot’s had worn her down. It was difficult to tell what shape she was except at sports. During the rest of school she dressed to de-emphasise her body. The foundation of their friendship was Andrew’s help dealing with the objectification she was experiencing in September 1979. She needed to vent on a lot of stuff and he was the person she trusted to share it with. Andrew thought that she already vented to him about all this stuff but there was a lot that she held back. Now however, he got the full picture. It was difficult sometimes to listen to her talk about the way that she had been treated. The words Leslie used three years earlier kept coming back to mind. Most guys saw her as a pair of tits with a young woman attached behind. Often Andrew did not need to say anything, she just needed someone to talk to and to trust with that stuff, and trust worked both ways. During the remainder of the term on the couple of occasions when they did go out on Saturday nights, they had a fun time. Suzanne knew that Andrew was the world’s worst reader of signals, and that he was worried about doing the wrong thing in case he had misinterpreted the signals. So she flirted big time, because she knew she was safe. Andrew was paralysed into inactivity and she relaxed and enjoyed herself. On their third night out when they had finished dinner and were sitting chatting she leaned closer and brushed her boobs against his arm. Suzanne loved Andrew’s reaction. Flustered, not sure where to look, no idea what to say, a tormented young man. They talked about it on the way home.

“You really are too good to me Andrew. I know that you will not lay a finger on me and it has made me a complete tarty flirt. For the first time in my life, I can toy with a man and know that all he will do is blush and smile at me. I shouldn’t have rubbed myself against you like that but that is why we all these women trust you. Nobody has a bad thing to say about you. Not Hannah, or Katie or Tanvi. No one. Katie and Tanvi will never admit it but you helped them grow up, understand men, the power dynamics, a million different little things. Just like you are helping me right now. As we were walking along just now I was thinking about if it had been the other way round. Rubbing your dick against my leg or something like that. It made me feel icky and I realised that I was doing exactly that to you. Making the assumption that you would be perfectly happy having me rub my breasts against you, just like a lot of men think that a woman would be happy to have the man rub his crotch against them. I never used to think this much before I started hanging out with you.”

The last was said to lighten the mood and it worked.

“I know what you mean. I am going to share something with you while keeping some of the relevant details hidden. It was like that the first time I had sex.”

Andrew spent the next 10 minutes recounting his first time with Kenzie, the seduction, the assumption that a 14 year old boy would be perfectly happy to be seduced. He also talked about her fierce admonition at the end between making love and fucking.

“I don’t know what to say to that Andrew. You had sex two years ago! The idle speculation was always that you were not a virgin but no one ever had any evidence.”

“It always helps to keep a secret if it is someone who is not at the school.”

“I see what you are saying though with this example. She turned up just expecting you to want to have sex. It is an interesting way of thinking about all this. Female consent has to be given, male consent is assumed.”

“I did a lot of thinking about it at the time. The whole night was totally consensual and I acted just like she thought I would in the moment. It was only afterwards that I was thinking about the assumptions she made and the possible consequences for me if I made the same assumptions. I think it is one of the reasons I have never gone out with anyone younger than me, ever. On top of all the things that Leslie drilled into me when I was getting over my cancer, it means that you are very safe with your flirting. It is fun to see you so relaxed and enjoying your body as opposed to hiding it or fighting people off it.”

Suzanne thought about that for a second.

“It’s true, isn’t it? I spend my life worrying about what people think about my body.”

“One of my favourite memories is that woollen dress you wore on one of the nights out back in 3^rd year. It was so flattering and it clung to you so seductively. It made you look so stunning.”

Andrew’s spontaneous reminisce seemed to please Suzanne. The curse of teenagers everywhere is the lack of places to go when you can’t drive and you can’t drink. As they were hit by both of these they had taken to just walking back to Suzanne’s place. It was 3 miles or so and they would bundle up and walk arm in arm talking away. The journey never seemed that onerous. As usual they stopped at the end of Suzanne’s street and he prepared to kiss her goodnight. The kiss was intense and without reserve. They pulled apart after several minutes and just looked at each other.

“You get me so wound up Andrew. Go home and let me calm down you sweet talking young man. Goodnight.”

Three minutes later they finally broke apart and she pushed him away with a smile.

“Go.”

Andrew floated home dreaming of his good friend and how her body felt molded against his own. The nights out with Kate were heading the same way. Every time they went out she relaxed some more and the third time suggested they skip the movie and just sit and chat at the restaurant. Kate and Andrew would talk a lot more about classes, which was fine as he did not do that with either Allison or Suzanne. She was one of those people who second guessed herself a lot. Her studying was not as crippled by it as Moira’s had been but she could get down on herself. Andrew stopped her getting into the weeds too much but they would discuss the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk or chemical valences way more than teenagers should on a date. It was cute in its own way but Andrew would try and steer the subjects to something more general.