Chapter 78

Finally that term, after many false starts and last minute changes of mind, Suzanne and Andrew had sex. This was a perpetual undercurrent through all of January and February. They were both excited by the idea and yet terrified of the impact on their friendship. Their night out in January could not have started any better. When Suzanne took off her coat she had an updated version of the clingy wool dress from two years earlier. It was a flattering fit for her. She looked excited although nervous and Andrew complimented her fulsomely on the dress. Suzanne had wine with dinner, she appeared mature enough that she was not challenged. Andrew, he stuck to soft drinks, he might be tall and broad but had a baby face and barely had to scrape a razor over his chin once a week. There was no way he was getting served alcohol unless it was at one of the bars that served the underage crowd. Currently, so the rumours at school went, this was The Last Drop in the Grassmarket. If you went there on a Friday or Saturday night the place was packed with underage private school kids; it was not his scene.

Suzanne had a couple of glasses of wine and got all flirty. It was funny at first but she seemed conflicted and almost unhappy at times. As they walked home they talked about themselves, and the friendship which had survived two and a half years of ups and downs. As they got closer to home Suzanne started to get nervous again. When they got to the corner of her street Andrew held her for a long time. There was a lot of feeling in that hug. He knew they were playing with fire if they did anything, and so he just held her and then kissed her gently as they parted. His dreams that night were full of warm and voluptuous women. Hmmm.

The following week they talked about what they were up to and where they were headed. Without coming right out and saying it both of them wanted to have sex. That dance around the subject was painful but they managed to convey the message, they played the role of awkward teenagers well. The impact on their friendship took up most of the time. Nothing changed in February either and they finally lightened up and started to laugh at themselves. It was this change in outlook that helped them relax. But as with all liaisons at that age it was all about waiting for opportunity to present itself. That opportunity came in March, Suzanne’s parents were going to be out all night and her little sister was staying at a friend’s house.

Suzanne had known for a while and so their night ‘out’ coincided with the evening of opportunity. When Andrew walked up her drive at 6.30 he was unsure how the night would play out. But he need not have been. They went through into the kitchen to get a drink. Suzanne had worn the wool dress again and it clung, and hugged and flattered as he followed her through. Andrew stepped up behind her and put his arms around her middle.

“You look sensational.”

He murmured into her ear all the while kissing her neck and caressed her sides. She turned round and kissed him. When they parted she pulled him down and it was her turn to whisper sweet nothings.

“I want to do this and I know you do to. Regardless of what happens this is not going to fuck up our friendship, now come with me.”

Andrew smiled and the tension left all but one part of his body. As soon as Suzanne closed the door of her bedroom he pounced on her, picked her up and carried her to the bed. Suzanne’s biggest hang up was she was a big girl. You don’t have C-cup tits at 14 without carrying some weight. Andrew knew from all of their conversations that she was conscious of her weight. He put her back on her feet and turned her away from him. The dress had a long zipper at the back from the neck to the bum. Andrew pulled the zip down all the way and slipped the dress from her shoulders. Almost before Suzanne knew what was happening she was standing in her underwear with her dress a puddle of clothing at her feet. She gasped at him as Andrew slipped his hand into the waist of her tights and knickers and pulled them down as well. She balanced with her hand on his shoulder as he helped her untangle her feet and pulled the tights off. Suddenly she was naked wearing nothing but a bra. Andrew settled her on the end of her bed.

“Slide back up there and stick a pillow under your bum.”

At the same time he was stripping in record time. No elegance, no subtlety, just a need to get naked as quickly possible. Suzanne smiled at his pantomime at the end of the bed. She grabbed a pillow as Andrew smiled a pussy-eating lupine smile at her. He kissed her right knee and kissed his way up her thigh, then repeated the process on her left leg. His hands worked their way between her fleshy arse and the pillow while his face stared inches from Suzanne’s pussy, slick and fetid already. Andrew’s hunger for her body was not feigned and his friend was on a hair trigger. He thought Suzanne came three times just from his oral assault, it all got very hazy at the end. The thrashing thigh squeezing orgasm that she rode as he pressed his tongue flat on her clit when tormenting her g-spot, that was an orgasm of bed shaking proportions. He managed not to suffocate or go deaf and Suzanne did not dislocate anything, every else hung in the balance.

They pulled themselves up the bed and Andrew waited for her to recover. He thought there might be some comments, some last minute ‘are we sure?’ but Suzanne’s hand reached out to grasp him. After a hand job that lasted a surprisingly long twelve seconds, Andrew was refreshed and wrapped ready to go. Suzanne lay back and welcomed him into her arms. After his initial penetration she hooked her ankles behind his back and smiled up at him. Andrew responded with a slow and steady fucking, easy pace, getting into a rhythm. Suzanne had not talked much since entering the bedroom. It was the same now, a few gentle exhortations to God or ‘right there’ but when the dam burst and she came, the look was of such intense joy that Andrew was lost. He popped right behind her and was seeing stars by the end. A convenient box of tissues on the bedside table temporarily dealt with the condom and they lay back thinking about the step they had just taken. They had fucked and class on Monday morning was going to be interesting.

“You are thinking about class on Monday, aren’t you?”

What the hell? Was she psychic?

“I am that obvious?”

“Nah, I was thinking the same thing. Stop thinking too much with that big old brain. I just had sex with my best friend and it was amazing. We are not going to ruin this. Even if we never do this again just relax and enjoy the moment.”

Her serious speech was interrupted by a giggle.

“Although at least once more would be nice.”

He hugged her. She knew him so well, enough to get him out of his own head. But she wasn’t done yet.

“So I have complained to you for more than two years that boys are obsessed with my breasts. What do you do? Ignore them completely. I know that you see me first and then my body. You don’t have to prove it with such extreme measures.”

As she was talking she had undone the catch and she pulled the bra away. She sat up for several seconds almost demanding that Andrew look at them before lying back draped on his side. They lay there in silence for quite a while just rubbing and caressing each other. Andrew was in a quandary, what next? This wasn’t competitive sex, he wasn’t trying to prove to her what a good lover he was, this was emotional sex, sharing with the other person how important they were. Deep down he was still the selfish guy who was not prepared to change and still lived life on his terms. That he was fucking his friend after years of friendship meant something, he just didn’t know what. Suzanne solved his dilemma in the most direct and effective way. She grabbed another condom, expertly rolled it down his cock and then mounted him. She sank down without stopping then lay flat on him. Her voice was muffled by her hair.

“Stop thinking Andrew. I need you to fuck me, to want me.”

Worrying about what it all meant and the impact on the future shattered in the face of his friend’s vulnerability. Time to stop thinking about himself and think about someone else. It was an odd moment to consider karma, but then again, maybe not. His voice was sly as he started on Suzanne.

“So you want me to fuck you eh? When ladies get on top they get to do the work, they fuck me. For a young lady to get fucked we need to switch things up.”

Without breaking apart he rolled her over and looked down at her face teary and confused.

“Oh Suzanne, don’t cry, you know I want you. I have wanted you since our first date. Do you really need me to fuck you to show you how much I want you?”

She buried her face in his shoulder. Her voice was quiet but determined.

“Yes.”

Andrew fucked her for the next ten minutes, it could have been 20 it was probably three, regardless they fucked. There was no talk, no bouncing around between positions, just regular straight missionary fucking. Suzanne said his face never hid his emotions so Andrew looked at her and tried to convey desire, want, happiness, gratitude to a dear friend. He had no clue what any of these emotions looked like, and even less of an idea as to whether Suzanne read into them what he was trying to say. All he knew was that he was trying to tell Suzanne how much she meant to him, and in that moment how much he physically wanted her.

Afterwards the tears came and Andrew held her and let them flow. He didn’t need to be Einstein to figure out what her issues were. Body image. Pure and simple, Suzanne was a full-figured woman. She wanted to feel desirable, to be thought of us something other than a pair of huge tits, but had fought her weight her whole life. Wherever possible, Andrew tried to just let her talk. This seemed cathartic to her. He had no idea what to say, and was worried about saying the wrong thing. Her litany of image issues covered the four key areas, thighs, bum, tummy and tits. Andrew had helped Moira and Allison embrace their body type and had repeatedly demonstrated that it was a huge turn on. That approach was not going to work here. She needed professional help not some horny teenager.

“I understand what you are saying and although I don’t agree with your characterisation of your body it is very real and true to you. Before I say anything else, answer me this honestly. Is there anything that I say that will change your opinion of your body? Honestly. I have grabbed and caressed your arse, had my head between your thighs holding onto your tummy as you orgasmed spectacularly for me and I have played with your tits ever since you told me off for ignoring them.”

Andrew waited for her response. She was carefully considering the question.

“I know you did all those things Andrew but you are right, tomorrow when I get up and shower and stand in front of the mirror all alone, I will see what is there, not what you want me to see.”

He ventured closer to the edge of the precipice.

“Have you always worried about your figure, been self-conscious?”

“I suppose. When puberty hit, I really started to struggle. You saw what it was like at the start of 3^rd year, I was miserable. Your friendship meant the world to me then. It still does now. After tonight I am not sure that we should do this again. You care for me the person. I could see it in your eyes and face a few minutes ago.”

She didn’t weep but sounded so sad. Andrew lay there with his confused, vulnerable friend; he had only one thing left to try.

“Stand up for me please.”

“What?”

“Stand up please.”

“Why?”

He kissed her and looked her in the eye.

“Do you trust me?”

Nodding Suzanne climbed off the bed. Andrew smiled at her.

“Hands on your head and turn slowly for me.”

Blushing and looking uncomfortable she did as he asked.

“Wonderful.”

Andrew stood up as well and gave her a hug and a kiss before dragging her desk chair over and placed it in front of her wardrobe, a wardrobe with a large mirror attached to the door. The mirror that she hated every morning. He stood Suzanne in front of the mirror, naked and vulnerable and started to caress her body. Again providing a running commentary in her ear.

“Every day you look at yourself and you feel uncomfortable. You have no positive memories of standing looking at your body. We are going to change that right now, Suzanne.”

He kissed her neck and she groaned.

“I need you to keep your eyes open all the time. Watch your body and my hands on it. Rubbing your tummy, holding your breasts in my hands. Flicking your wonderful thick nipples. Every time you step out of the shower and dry yourself in front of the mirror close your eyes and picture this.”

He massaged and caressed all over Suzanne’s front as he talked before pulling the chair closer.

“Put your right foot on the chair. No slightly further away, right there perfect.”

It was a wanton and wicked picture. Suzanne’s legs were spread and her pussy was glistened in her thatch of pubic hair. Andrew knelt down in front of her and started kissing her right leg, along the thigh towards her juicy centre.

“When you worry about your thighs, think of me kissing along them, think of how turned on you were, how your pussy was leaking you were so turned on.”

Andrew licked her pussy and she groaned and trembled.

“When you think of your thighs and arse remember this.”

Andrew pulled her leg down before she fell, grabbed her butt with both hands and licked and nibbled her to a couple of quick orgasms. He grabbed the last condom and was ready to go in seconds. He turned the chair, told her to grab the top and arch her back. Andrew angled the chair so that if she looked over her left shoulder she could see her arse in the mirror. Not for long. He entered her with one powerful stroke and Suzanne wriggled her bum as they established a rhythm.

“Look at yourself Suzanne. Look at that body, look at you. So wanton, so desirable, can you feel how much I want you now.”

He punctuated the last phrase with several jarring thrusts into her.

“That is what you do to me Suzanne. You turn me on and make me want to fuck you, to feel this body shake and tremble as I force you to come. Think about it Suzanne, how could you not come? You feel my desire, my want, you feed off that.”

Suzanne proved the point right there as she came as Andrew talked.

“Look at the mirror. That is you, all of you, you naked and at your most vulnerable, and what do you feel? Desired? Wanted? Every time you look in the mirror think about right now.”

It was time to stop playing amateur psychologist. Andrew pulled out, walked round and straightened her up before pulling her in for a huge hug. Spinning the chair round, he sat down, his dick pointing skyward. Suzanne smiled and lifted her leg over before lining up and impaling herself once more. They sat joined together looking at each other.

“Never doubt you are desired. You have a wonderful figure, you are always going to be this voluptuous woman. But you are not defined by your size and by how many people desire you. You have been one of my very best friends for the last two years and I didn’t see you naked until an hour ago. Be yourself, because you are amazing.”

He smiled a sly smile.

“And if you need to have your memory refreshed, just let me know.”

She squealed with laughter.

“Take me back to bed Andrew and show me how much I turn you on one last time.”

So he did. Once they had cleaned up her room and were dressed and sitting in the kitchen she finally talked again.

“You care about people Andrew. I know that you think you are selfish but there is a compassion in the way that you act with people. You are also honest. If you had told me at the start of the night that I would be okay with you telling me I was voluptuous and always would be I would never have believed it. When you tell someone that after fucking them for the last hour then the words have a different connotation. You emphasise the positive but you also don’t sugar-coat stuff. I want to think about all this and maybe we can talk after school on Tuesday?”

When they talked a couple of days later it rivalled one of Andrew’s classic, meandering, all over the place, mind dumps. As he had done this to Leslie numerous times he understood and listened. Suzanne had totally gotten off on their time together and she talked about standing in front of the mirror each morning thinking about him fucking her. But she wanted more. She was honest enough about herself to know that she would always have demons about her figure and weight and that she needed help. She was always going to be full figured but she didn’t have to be fat. That is where Andrew came in. Her dad left for work before 7am every morning. He agreed to drop her off at Warrender on his way to work, Andrew had a new swimming buddy. He spun her round in a big hug her feet off the ground, pleased that his friend had a goal and a plan.

The very next day Suzanne was at Warrender as he wandered down the street. She was an average swimmer which meant that she could cope with 30 minutes of lengths in the pool without a problem. Where all their issues arose was getting changed afterwards. Andrew was out of the pool, showered and dressed in seven minutes and even then it was a fast walk to get to school on time. They missed Assembly several times in those first couple of weeks but eventually got the right rhythm. Suzanne arrived before him and was already swimming when Andrew got there, which allowed her to finish earlier and be ready to go when he was dressed. By the start of term three they had it sorted and for the next 15 months he swam every morning with his friend.

Life had returned to a recurring pattern by the end of term two. The disruption of February faded and one week seemed like any other. For long stretches of the week Andrew studied away in isolation, either staying on top of his schoolwork or working on his computer course. He was the least exciting person on the planet. But around this studious framework he led an interesting life. He had a group of good friends, and the edges of his life were busy. He saw his Grandma every week, he was at the Food Bank warehouse, he was going out regularly with four young women, all of whom were different, looked at him differently and wanted different things. He started to go to more gigs with Pete and was still in the CCF. And then on top of that was perhaps his oddest friendship, Maggie Fife. Since the last shoot the chat between them had changed, less jokily sexual and more balanced. In many ways it was more intimate, Maggie was really being herself.

And to balance all this there were all the things that Andrew didn’t do, didn’t know anything about. If he was home he would watch the news with his parents but he had no clue about popular culture. None at all. With an endless array of courses stretching out in front of him Andrew always had studying to do. For more than two years there was a course waiting for him. So when people spoke at school about the latest sitcom, show, or sporting event, Andrew was clueless. He remembered Grant from his summer working on the removal crew being rabidly upset that he supported Celtic. As an eight year old he had glommed onto the team that was always winning, it was why he had picked them. By 1982 Andrew had no clue about football, any sport really. Sacrificed to his studies.