Chapter 13

Near one million BC.

...”I promise that I’m going to do better,” Kathy said, “but darnit, I’ve never done any of this. I mean, who goes down-time and is stalked by some monster that wants to eat her? Yeah, yeah, I know. Temporal’s Operatives. That’s who. But I’m not an Op. I’m just a glorified secretary. I’m worthless back here.”

For once in his life, Thad couldn’t think of a single comeback, let alone something intelligent to say.

Then Kathy was doing her thing again as tears slid down her cheeks without any of what Thad thought of as the peripherals: no noise, no wailing, no wracking sobs, no snot, just tears slowly sliding down her face.

“When that big ... cat, or whatever it was, tried to come through the entrance to the cave, I was so scared that I almost peed myself. My weapon’s laser dot was jiggling all over the animal. I had to wait until I could hold the dot on its chest before I could fire. I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

“Anyone who says he wasn’t scared under those circumstances is either a fool or a liar,” Thad commented dryly.

“You weren’t scared,” she responded. “That green dot was rock-steady when you blew that thing’s head apart.”

“So what? That doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared. It just means I’ve done things like that more than you. Besides, I thought we had covered this,” he said while trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

“I’m not used to being worthless,” Kathy said sotto voice. Then, more forcefully, “How can I learn? How can I get better? I don’t know anything about being an Op.”

“Yes, you do. You’ve passed the Op courses, but you need experience, Kathy, and unfortunately, experience comes only one day at a time. Look, you’re giving me too much credit. Time and again, I go into things having no idea what I’m going to do. What do you think I was thinking when I was in that tiny prison cell — more a box with a dirt floor than an actual cell — naked and mired in my own excrement, totally helpless, wondering when they were going to kill me? And they did kill me — burned me to death. I was a basket case when I got back — even before I found out about having been killed. I just covered it with anger. When I walked out onto the courtyard between the buildings back at Temporal, I was whipped. As they say, I had met myself back in that cell and realized I was nothing. The waiting, the starvation, the beatings, the stocks where people were encouraged to piss in my face — and worse, Kathy. Things that I don’t even want to vocalize, it all got to me — got to my core. Mr. Macho, as you for some reason seem to see me, would have sat there and blubbered if I had thought it would have done any good. They, that bunch of idiots that captured me when I dropped into that church social, won. I would have done anything to live. I didn’t even know what day it was. I had given up totally.

“Yet there were many prisoners in WW II that went through far worse for years and never gave up. Your ‘macho man’ isn’t so macho, Kathy,” he said before he got up to walk out, but turned back to say, “But ... one thing that I realized while I was sitting there at Temporal with the building on three sides of me and the time fields on the other, and that was that I had to make a choice. I had lost that one — big time. I could stay whimpering like a whipped pup, or get back up and try again. My ego got trashed — big time — but I couldn’t change what happened. We don’t always win, Kathy. And, by the way, you’re hooked now whether you believe it or not. You will never be satisfied with your old job again. You now have this in your blood. You were scared, but you didn’t give up. You brought that sight back to where it should be, and scared or not, fired a killing shot, too, Kathy. Even without me, that animal wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Maybe so, but we both know that my shot went into the chest of an already dead beast. Both your charges went into its head, or what was left of it after your first shot tore it apart.”

“Still, yours was a fatal shot, too. You didn’t flinch. You held steady and delivered a killing charge. The shot hit just below its chin and went straight down its chest. It probably hit most everything vital as it passed completely through the animal. It would have been a near-instant death even without my fire. You weren’t more than a second behind my first shot. It would have been only a little farther into the cave, but just as dead, so don’t belittle yourself. Push comes to shove, most anyone not used to what we do would have failed — you didn’t.”

As Thad stood looking at her, Kathy felt that he had been stretching the truth about her, but nevertheless, she could feel herself blushing.

Maybe he does mean what he just said. After all, he did trust me to guard him with the rifle while he bathed.

Hardly realizing what she was doing, she said, “I’m sorry for being such a bitch. I now realize that you didn’t have anything to do with me being on the trip, and it was all Mr. Kessler.”

Thad, hardly believing he was defending Kessler, said, “It would be foolish to send a lone Op to intercept this Traveler, not to mention being back at one million alone when he was to do it. I hate to admit it, but he had to dig up someone, and there weren’t any Ops available. You’ve had the basic training, and you’re getting at least part of that year’s worth of the on-the-job training with an experienced Op. And by the way, you just proved that Kessler’s judgment is still sound. You certainly didn’t do anything to be ashamed of. On the contrary, you should be proud. You might not like me, but I am one of the most experienced Ops at Temporal, even if you don’t trust me, and I’m telling you that you have what it takes.”

Kathy suddenly realized that Thad was dead wrong about her not trusting him. She might have come across that way, but she had no doubt at all that he knew what he was doing. “I ... do trust you, Thad,” she found herself saying. “I would never have sat beside you with my gun pointing toward the opening of our cave if I hadn’t trusted your judgment, and I never would have bathed in that stream if I hadn’t trusted you to take care of me — no matter what.”

Thad picked up the rifle, hesitated for a moment, then said, “Uh, I found a tree that seems to have been down for a while. It should be dry enough to make some good firewood. Why don’t you come with me and stand guard while I do the cutting?” he asked as he casually handed her the rifle.

Kathy, stunned, checked the rifle and followed him out of the cave. As they walked toward the downed tree he was referring to, she felt a lot different from just sitting with the rifle in hand while he worked. Now, they were moving with trees around them and with the possibility of a sudden animal attack. Thad had pointed in the direction of the downed tree before subtly allowing her to lead. She knew she could hit with the rifle, but she also knew that she was far slower, not to mention less accurate than Thad. Even with me in the lead, if something attacks, Thad will probably kill it with his handgun before I can bring the rifle to bear. She couldn’t help it, though; she could feel pride bubbling up inside her, because he would allow her to go first while carrying their main defense. She also knew that there was little chance of a big animal being near after the two of them had been outside most of the day. But ... there was always the possibility.

Again, she stood guard as Thad cut limbs from the big tree and sectioned them into lengths they could carry.

With the unbelievably sharp knife, Thad could cut any limb completely through with only one swipe of the big blade. Consequently, in minutes he had several armloads of firewood cut to length and ready for them to take back to the cave.

Amazing Thad, Kathy knelt to stack wood in one arm before picking up the rifle with the other. “Every little bit helps,” she said when she noticed Thad’s frown. “If I see or even hear anything out of the ordinary, I’ll drop the wood and put the other hand on the rifle.” Thad realized that dropping the wood and bringing the rifle to bear would only add a second or so to his response, but he worried that Kathy would be slower. He almost told her no, but they could see the cave from where they were and there was little chance of anything being between them and their temporary home. Should there be, the sensors would have alerted them already. He also knew that night wasn’t far away and they had several more loads to bring in to have enough wood to last the night, particularly should another animal stalk them today. He forced himself to refrain from warning her to be vigilant on the way back to the cave.

Night was closing in as they made their last trip, but they now had wood to last, probably for as least a couple of nights, unless they had to maintain a large fire to help discourage a predator. Kathy suspected that she had just undergone a test, and hoped she had passed it. It was hard to tell what Thad was thinking, because he always seemed to be calm and sure of himself. She wondered how Thad had ever become so down on himself. Whatever, he certainly seems to have recovered, she thought. Could I ever be sure of myself the way he is?

They stacked a large amount of wood on one side in the back of the cave, and another smaller pile not far from the fire they would have in the doorway. As they did before, the door fire was separate from the tiny cook fire they kept a few feet away.

Although they had not made a fire ring on the dirt floor when they had first discovered the cave, now with the boughs on the floor, they made a ring for each of their fire locations.

With one final trip to the latrine — separately, of course — they settled in for the night. Even though they had eaten their evening meal, Kathy found herself munching on a handful of jerky as they relaxed on their air mattresses and chatted before bedtime.

It was barely full dark when they each pulled a light blanket over them and slipped into dreamland — Thad with his rifle lying beside him and the screen on his chest, while Kathy put her pistol on a rock within easy reach.

Kathy awakened several times through the night as Thad put more wood on the small fire they kept going, and once, she got up to do the same. On one of the occasions when Thad was feeding the fire, she heard him mumble something about having a door or at least a gate before bedtime tomorrow. She fully agreed with that idea.

Breakfast the next morning was an energy bar each to go with their powdered eggs. The energy bars came in several flavors and could be eaten as is, or soaked with water before heating. They went with the soaking route. The bar swelled, and had the consistency of meat. They chose the steak flavor and ate it with their powdered/reconstituted eggs. The energy bars were designed to give the maximum amount of energy for the size of the bar.

Thad glanced at her and grinned when she got a piece of jerky to chew on.

“So, what are we going to do today?” Kathy later asked after they each had their morning constitutional.