Chapter 48: Too Dark! Too Dark!

-- FRIDAY, JUNE 12, 2009 --

“Sir? Ma’am? I’m Detective Franklin, Berkeley PD. My partner here is Detective Ortega. My sincere condolences for your loss. I know that now is a very emotional time for you both, but we do need to ask you some questions while your memories are still fresh.”

Re-dressed in the clothes I’d worn to work yesterday and seated on Yvaine’s living room sofa, I started nodding listlessly. Dressed in fresh clothes, Summer was seated on the cushion beside me, curled up into a fetal position with her legs beneath her and her head pillowed on my chest while I cradled her in my arms.

“He’s not talking to you without a lawyer present,” Adrienne stated firmly, seated half-beside me and half-behind me with both arms wrapped around my midsection. I’d actually called her first, and miracle of miracles she’d picked up her phone on the first ring even though it was barely seven in the morning and her phone would’ve been on silent. To say she was shocked had been an understatement, and she’d dropped everything to grab Eden and race over here.

Dawn’s text asking if everything was alright had actually come in during the fight with Toby, although I’d obviously been a little too distracted to answer it. Unable to deal with another phone call, I’d texted back with a simple message:

Toby showed up. Yvaine is dead.

I had meant to explain more than that, but at the sight of the words on my screen, I suddenly found that my fingers were shaking, and my mind flashed back to that horrific moment itself.

Toby’s body was just starting to go cold on the floor when I’d recognized the sound of Summer’s crying. Eyes wide and my heart still pounding, I’d turned to look into the open doorway. Yvaine was face-down in the hallway, unmoving. Summer, still naked, sat beside her mother with both legs twisted to her right. My girlfriend was sobbing in abject misery, rivers of tears flooding down her face. She kept stroking her mother’s hair while shaking her own head in disbelief.

I hadn’t wanted to believe either.

Even now, I didn’t want to believe.

Without letting go of the gun, just in case Toby suddenly woke up like an undead zombie and started coming after us again, I had pitched forward onto all fours and crawled over to Yvaine and Summer. And then I’d swallowed thickly at the sight before me.

There was a hole in the middle of Yvaine’s back. Beneath her naked body was a large pool of red blood. Her eyes were wide open, staring at nothingness, and her mouth gaped open in a silent scream. Her face was the same shade of gray as Toby’s corpse. And there was no rise and fall in her body that would signal breathing.

I hoped she had passed quickly, without much pain.

Before I could type anything further, my phone blared to life. Dawn was understandably as shocked and frantic as Adrienne had been, and I managed to at least explain that Toby was dead, Summer and I were safe, and that I still needed to call the police. Only then did she let me hang up, and I didn’t need any mystical link to know she was racing to her car to drive over here from her parents’ house.

Only then did I finally dial 9-1-1. A dispatcher had answered within thirty seconds, I explained the situation as best I could, they told me that a police car and an ambulance would be over as soon as possible, and then I hung up to collect Summer and get us both dressed.

Well, I tried to, at least. Summer wouldn’t leave her mother’s side, so I had to go collect her clothes and bring them to her. After we both got dressed, I wound up seated against the hallway wall with Summer tucked in against my side.

She was still sobbing when Adrienne, Eden, and June arrived. The front door was still locked, so I had to go downstairs to let them in. I still hadn’t figured out how Toby got into the house, but at the moment it didn’t really matter. Adrienne didn’t have on one drop of makeup, clear evidence of her haste to get out the door. Eden told me that she’d already been texting with the whole family. June had come over to pick me up for work (not realizing I’d stayed overnight at Yvaine’s house instead of coming home per usual), and by now she had contacted the office and texted Penny. I nodded silently and then led all three of them upstairs to rejoin Summer.

June promptly turned and hurled on the hallway floor at the sight of Yvaine’s bloody body covered by a sheet and Toby’s uncovered corpse further in the room. She apologized profusely and went to go clean up her mess; at least it was hardwood and should wipe up pretty easily. Eden was stony-faced. Adrienne looked angry, as if she wanted to go over and start kicking Toby’s lifeless body in the balls.

The police arrived just as June came up the stairs with paper towels and a small wastebasket. Eden went to let them into the house and bring them upstairs. At that point, the cops told us that we needed to get out of the way, and I was able to gently guide Summer downstairs into the living room. Paramedics had also come with them, but they first went upstairs to check on Toby and Yvaine. And that’s when the two detectives arrived.

“He’s not talking to you without a lawyer present,” Adrienne stated firmly. “Ben’s still got that asshole’s blood smeared on his face, you know? Shouldn’t the paramedics be checking him out by now?”

Rather than reply to Adrienne, Detective Franklin raised his eyebrows at me and then looked at Summer from his seat on the armchair across from the couch. “Do either of you need medical attention at this time?”

I shrugged. “Got punched a few times, but I’ll be alright. I’ve gotten worse from this one having aggressive sex with me.” I jerked a thumb at Adrienne.

Detective Franklin’s eyes got big, and he glanced over at Adrienne momentarily.

My Tigress pinched my side, none too happily. It happened to be a spot where Toby had punched me, and I groaned and grimaced.

Shaking my head, I sighed and muttered, “My apologies. I’m not trying to make light of the situation. I take that back: I AM trying to make light of the situation, because this is a really, really fucking heavy situation and I ... I still don’t know what to think right now.”

Detective Ortega, standing beside Detective Franklin’s armchair, nodded sagely. “That’s perfectly understandable. You’re most likely in shock right now, which makes it all the more important that we try and understand the situation as best we can while your memory is still fresh.”

“Yeah, yeah. You guys said that already,” I muttered wearily.

“But I’m still not letting him talk to you guys without a lawyer present,” Adrienne insisted.

I frowned at Adrienne. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

Detective Franklin spread his hands apart and glanced down at his notes. “He already told our officers that the two deceased are his girlfriend’s mother and his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. He already stated that he was in bed when the ex-boyfriend suddenly appeared in the room and a fight broke out. A downstairs window is broken: a clear sign of forced entry. The ex-boyfriend was out on parole after being imprisoned for domestic abuse crimes. And we already know the gun’s serial number has been traced to a West Hollywood pawn shop not far from the ex-boyfriend’s apartment.”

“Looks like you already have the pertinent facts, then,” Adrienne pointed out. “And you don’t need to bother Ben any further. We’re honestly not trying to hide anything, but he has the right to remain silent and not accidentally say anything a prosecutor might use to make him look bad. So I’ll thank you kindly to leave us both alone for now, alright?”

Franklin’s eyes narrowed. “And what, exactly, is your relationship to him?”

“I’m his girlfriend,” Adrienne stated firmly. And at the Detective’s questioning look, she added, “He has more than one. Is that a crime?”

Detective Ortega coughed and blushed, looking down.

Franklin sighed. “But you were not present at the time of the incident, correct? You were not a witness, correct?”

“That’s correct,” Adrienne admitted.

The detective glanced over at one of the uniformed street cops by the door. “Perhaps I should ask one of my officers to escort you out?”

“Try it,” Adrienne growled menacingly.

Franklin raised his eyes appraisingly at the officer, but the 6’3” burly street cop simply head-nodded at my Tigress and quipped, “YOU try telling her she has to leave.”

Adrienne’s narrowed eyes and haughty gaze, along with the way she cinched her arms tighter around me, were enough to make the grizzled police detective not even bother with such a futile attempt. Sometimes it was really nice to have a woman in my life with enough sheer force of personality to cow mere mortals into submission, nevermind that she was dressed in sweatpants without one bit of makeup.

Shaking his head, Detective Franklin threw up his hands and muttered, “Fine. But don’t go anywhere until we formally release you from the crime scene, alright?”

I silently checked with Adrienne and then nodded to the detective. “Sure thing.”

“And I’ll get a paramedic to come take a look at you right away, at you both.” That last part was directed at Summer, who had silently ignored the entire conversation in mute silence, cuddled up against my side.

“Thank you, Detective,” I stated firmly.

He just sighed, shook his head, and headed upstairs. But just as his foot hit the first stair tread, a new voice called out from the front door.

“Ben! Summer!”

We all turned to look as Dawn roared into the room, gasping for breath as she dropped to her knees in front of the couch and wrapped her arms around both of us. Doing the math in my head at how long it had been since I’d texted her, I could only imagine just how fast she must’ve been driving on the freeway dodging traffic during morning rush hour.

“And who the hell is this?” Detective Franklin grumbled, looking peeved at the interruption. He turned and glared at the front door where the same uniformed street cop looked embarrassed, adding, “Isn’t there supposed to be a yellow tape barrier around the house?!? This is a crime scene!”

“Like yellow tape could ever stop my best friend.” I sighed and gave Dawn a weary smile. “I’m glad you’re here. Saves me the trouble of telling this story more than once.”

Mrs. Farah Rafizadeh arrived shortly after Dawn did, presented herself as my lawyer, and was escorted inside. She was a handsome woman in her mid-fifties, with large, intelligent eyes and a regal bearing. Adrienne stood up and went to hug her, and then introduced Farah as a PR lawyer for ICON. In the unlikely event that this thing ever went to trial, they’d get us a proper criminal lawyer, but for now Mrs. Rafizadeh could at least help keep me and Summer from accidentally incriminating ourselves.

Along with our lawyer, Adrienne, Dawn, Summer, Eden, June, and I assembled outside in the back yard by the fence that overlooked the city below while a uniformed street cop stayed by the sliding door to keep an eye on us, out of earshot. I still remembered my first long conversation with Yvaine in the same spot, when she initially asked me to stop seeing her daughter. Mrs. Rafizadeh initially wanted it just to be me, Summer, and Adrienne, but I insisted that I’d rather only tell this story once, and that they’d all end up finding out anyway.

“We’ll construct a neat and tidy written witness statement later,” my lawyer advised me. “But for now, just tell us everything as best you remember. Start from the beginning.”

I nodded, closed my eyes, and pinched the bridge of my nose. “The beginning ... the beginning...”

You gonna tell her you were assfucking your girlfriend’s mom while her daughter was licking her cunt?

Um, no.

Taking a deep breath, I began, “I was in bed when Toby showed up out of the blue with a handgun.”

“Didn’t you have a PI firm tailing him so we’d have advance warning if he disappeared?” Dawn asked, her attention on Adrienne.

Adrienne winced. “That’s what I thought, and I called them earlier. Apparently, they recorded him entering his apartment way down in West Hollywood last night, and have absolutely no idea how or when he left to come all the way up here.”

“What the fuck are you paying them for?” Dawn growled.

Adrienne winced again. “They said they’ll refund me all my money, not that it’ll bring Yvaine back.”

“Fuck that! Refuse the refund and then fucking sue their asses and put those lazy, useless wastes-of-oxygen outta business!” Dawn growled.

Adrienne grimaced with an expression that said she was feeling personal shame over the PI’s failure. I reached over to rub her shoulder, saying sincerely, “It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered dispiritedly and looked downcast.

“Anyways,” I continued, “I was in bed--”

“Were you alone in bed?” Mrs. Rafizadeh interrupted.

I darted my eyes to Adrienne, who winced and then gestured for me to proceed. “Attorney-client privilege. She won’t say anything.”

I sighed and admitted, “No, I was not.”

“So you were in Summer’s room with her, I presume?”

I winced. “Ahhh no, I was not.”

The lawyer’s eyebrows rose. “Please elaborate.”

The conversation got a little awkward from there, with questions like, “The three of you were in bed together?”

“You were all naked?”

“What, exactly, were the three of you doing when the suspect arrived?”

At that point, it became easier to admit that we’d been having a threesome and that I’d been having sex with Yvaine at the time. Mrs. Rafizadeh did not appear to be scandalized, except to sigh and state, “The coroner will find evidence of recent sexual penetration. There will be questions about whether or not the suspect sexually assaulted her.”

“He didn’t,” I assured her.

“But the question will still come up. A lawyer could hypothesize that the suspect had actually been invited to join a group sex session, but that tempers flared and you killed the suspect in a jealous rage.”

“What the fuck?”

“Anything to sow doubt, unfortunately.” Mrs. Rafizadeh shrugged, gave me a helpless look, and then gestured. “Please continue.”

I recapped the events as best I could. Twice, I looked at Summer to see if she had anything to add to the narrative, but she remained dead silent and simply clutched my arm. I asked her both times if she’d prefer we stop talking about it entirely if it was causing her distress, but she gestured for me to keep going. Adrienne tensed when I got to the part about Toby pointing the gun straight at my forehead and my conviction in the moment that he was about to kill me. I sort of fumbled through the fight itself, partly because I didn’t want to really think about it and partly because I didn’t think the lawyer needed that level of detail.

I did have crystal clear 1080p high-definition memory of Toby pinning me down, recovering the gun, and shooting Yvaine in the back while she tried to get Summer out the door. I lost my composure attempting to explain to everyone ... explain to Summer ... explain to myself ... how I’d failed to significantly alter his aim.

Time stopped for me.

Nobody bothered me or pressured me to continue.

Summer merely sobbed and clutched my arm.

Adrienne held me close, crying against my shoulder and squeezing me so tight that I couldn’t breathe.

Actually, I don’t think I’d have been able to breathe whether or not Adrienne was squeezing me. I just flat out couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t cry.

I couldn’t ... feel.

I’d failed to protect a woman I cared a great deal about.

I’d failed to protect the mother of my girlfriend, the mother of a girl I loved.

I’d failed.

And I couldn’t breathe.

But eventually my body decided it had gone on without oxygen long enough. My chest heaved as my lungs expanded and inhaled without any conscious thought of mine. Only then did the tears start falling, and they didn’t stop for a long, long time.

The next thing I knew, Dawn had her arms wrapped around me, and Summer as well. Adrienne hadn’t let go either, and while Eden, June, and Mrs. Rafizadeh stood aside and waited patiently, the four of us huddled together in a ball of pain and anguish that felt like it would never end.

But it did eventually end. Well, not the pain and anguish, but the four-person ball of hugs eventually split apart. Once I stopped crying, Dawn kissed my forehead and backed away, although she still clutched my free hand. My other arm remained wrapped around Summer, and Adrienne continued to hold me from behind.

Finally, Mrs. Rafizadeh leaned forward and asked, “What happened next?”

I sighed and sniffled. “I fought the gun out of his grasp. I was still on the floor, managed to pry it from him, and as he tackled me I squeezed the trigger right against his chest. I shot him. I killed him. And then I rolled him off my body and watched him die.”

Those last few sentences I stated in dull, monotonous voice. My lips were pursed and I was staring out across the city view at nothing in particular. Whereas the memory of failing to protect Yvaine had pained me like a stab to my heart, I felt nothing but cold indifference to the memory of killing Toby. I didn’t feel bad about it. Not a shred of remorse. I’d felt much, much worse after killing Carter, for example, dwelling on the knowledge that I’d taken away the life of another human being. But right now I didn’t give two shits about killing Toby, and if anything I only wished I had killed him sooner so that he never could’ve harmed Yvaine.

Taking a deep breath, I exhaled and then looked Mrs. Rafizadeh in the eyes. “After that, I discovered that Yvaine was already dead. Summer was crying, and I knew I had to get hold of people. I called Adrienne first, and then Dawn called me. My phone records I’m sure will show you the timestamps on those. After that I called 9-1-1, I got myself and Summer dressed, we covered Yvaine with a sheet, and you pretty much know the rest.”

The lawyer nodded and looked thoughtful, processing all of that.

Eden folded her arms across her chest and said, “Why can’t you just tell the detectives exactly what you told us? Broken window. Criminal ex-boyfriend who got a gun from a pawn shop and came all this way to surprise you in a bedroom. Pointed a gun at your forehead and said he was about to kill you, so you defended yourself, got hold of the gun, and shot him. Seems pretty open and shut.”

“Not quite so open and shut,” Mrs. Rafizadeh stated sagely. “Adrienne was right to not let you speak to the police detectives without a lawyer. Even now I can think of a dozen different things they could try to pin on you. Your phone records will show that you called Adrienne and talked to Dawn before dialing 9-1-1, and your friends arrived here before the police did, thus suggesting you may have had something to hide and needed additional support to alter the scene, make evidence disappear, et cetera. The suspect is dead and not around to state his version of what happened, which leaves a prosecutor who feels like making trouble all kinds of room to make up whatever they want. Maybe they’ll claim you started the fight. Maybe they’ll claim it wasn’t self-defense but that you were the instigator. Maybe they’ll claim that both victims were not dead yet and could have been saved had you called 9-1-1 earlier.”

The rest of us looked glum at those pronouncements.

Mrs. Rafizadeh winced. “And a basic records search will also show that Ben and Adrienne were present at Carter Sheridan’s mansion three years ago. Even if the incidents themselves are completely unrelated, two separate homicide incidents within three years are rather suggestive. One could draw connections and hypothesize that you are involved in some illegal activities that should be investigated. Perhaps this was actually a drug deal gone wrong.”

“Fuck,” Dawn cursed.

“And when they discover the 4D investigation, the DA’s office will start to think you’re pretty shady in general,” June added.

“Not helping,” I muttered.

“4D?” Mrs. Rafizadeh queried.

I sighed. “Unrelated, but I’ll explain it after we’re done with this particular situation.”

Nodding, Mrs. Rafizadeh asked several more clarifying questions. I answered them as best I could, and then she moved on to asking everyone else for their stories, just to corroborate them with each other.

When we went back into the house, I found that a police photographer had been snapping pictures of the scene, and once he wrapped up, they finally removed Toby’s and Yvaine’s bodies into separate vans. Summer had been pretty calm and quiet thus far, but she lost it again when the medics carried Yvaine down the stairs on a stretcher. She started bawling into my chest while I held her in my arms, but I felt strangely detached from the moment and shed no further tears.

My analytical brain, seeking something to latch onto, started doing project management on all the action items we would need to execute in terms of setting up a funeral, identifying friends and family to be notified, and researching the right companies to clean up the grisly mess in the house. Then, of course, the house and its furnishings would need to get sold, and there would certainly be a whole host of inheritance and living trust issues to work out for Summer. Technically, I wouldn’t be part of any of that stuff since it wasn’t like I was related to Yvaine. But I knew Summer herself would be in absolutely no mental condition to make those kinds of decisions, and the process of brainstorming all those concerns and considering solutions to those tangible problems felt a whole lot more preferable to wallowing in my grief.

After that, though, the cops packed up and told us we were free to go. I wanted to get out of that house as soon as humanly possible and if it were up to me, I’d never come back. So without further ado, I thanked Mrs. Rafizadeh for coming and then escorted Summer outside to Adrienne’s Porsche.

I made a mental note that my motorcycle was still parked in the driveway and would need to be retrieved later. Recalling that my first encounter with Toby had been while parking my motorcycle in the garage at the house, I wondered to myself if the motorcycle itself had been the dead giveaway as to mine and Summer’s whereabouts. Now that Toby was a corpse, I supposed I’d never really know exactly how he knew where to find us, not that it really mattered.

Ten minutes later, we all reassembled at The Nest, and by “all” I mean ALL. In the time that we’d been at Yvaine’s house waiting to be released, our extended friends and family that lived in the Bay Area had all come over and were waiting for us. My parents, Brandi, Emma, Dayna, Jack and Deanna, Kim, BJ, Lynne, Bert, and Eve were all present around my living room. Even Penny had driven over, although she hung back from the group a bit and had been standing alone by the window with her arms folded. Brooke and DJ had been texting with the girls, were driving up, and expected to arrive by dinner time.

They all wanted information, of course, but my dad took one look at my face and told everyone, “Hey, let’s everybody back off for a while, huh?”

“Thanks, Dad. Right now? Honestly, I just really, really wanna take a shower.” I picked at yesterday’s work clothes for emphasis.

I did NOT state that one of my primary reasons for wanting a shower was because I still had lube coating my dick straight out of Yvaine’s asshole. Moreover, although the medics had cleaned Toby’s blood off my cheek, I really, really wanted to scrub the top millimeter layer of my skin off my face as well.

Summer, of course, clutched my hand and silently followed as I led her upstairs.

She still hadn’t said a word.

And quite honestly, I wondered if she ever would.

That day marked the first time in history I’d ever taken a shower with Summer and NOT gotten an erection. I mean seriously, in our entire time together, I’d always managed to pop a woody while soaping up her fantabulous naked body, even if I’d already blasted off three or four times before stepping into the spray. That’s not to say I always needed to cum again or anything like that, and sometimes she’d simply play with my dong for a bit before we stepped out and dried off.

Not today.

I wondered if I’d ever get another erection for the rest of my life.

I mean really, I knew I’d have to get another erection someday. Sure, I felt FUBAR right now and the trauma of the night’s events wouldn’t evaporate overnight. But the reality was: I’d been in this type of situation before, and I had the bullet scars to prove it.

Adrienne had quoted Cast Away to me not so long ago. I had to keep breathing, keep moving, keep on keeping on. Tomorrow the sun would rise. Things changed. The world moved on. More shit would probably happen, but as long as I remained on the right side of the grass, new opportunities would come. Hell, I’d been hospitalized after the Carter incident. I mean I hadn’t actually fallen into a coma or anything, but still. Today? I was in my own shower with a gorgeous naked woman in my arms. Today was an improvement.

Speaking of the gorgeous naked woman, Summer just sort of hugged me and listlessly let the shower spray all around us. She wasn’t exactly dirty or anything, but I liked to think she appreciated being scrubbed clean after everything we’d just been through. At the very least, her abusive ex-boyfriend had grabbed her ankle to trip her, and I paid special attention to her entire lower leg to ensure that every last skin cell that had come loose from the shithead’s hand had been scrubbed away.

Once I was done with her, though, I found myself too weary to wash myself. My muscles weren’t sore or worn out or anything, although I did feel a dull ache in various places where Toby had hit me. Rather, I felt a deep emotional weariness, a lethargy I couldn’t shake. For a moment, it felt like it took every last ounce of energy I had just to keep from falling to the shower floor. And that’s when my guardian angel arrived.

Gloriously naked, Adrienne opened the shower door and stepped inside to join us. The Nest’s master bathroom didn’t have the kind of expansive Billionaire’s shower set up that we’d experienced at the Kwong estate, but it still had a separate shower enclosure with room for four people that we’d taken advantage of multiple times. My shoulders had been sagging, but I felt a small surge of energy at her arrival. I gave her a weary smile, still holding a bottle of body wash in my hands.

My Tigress clucked her tongue and took the bottle from me. She lathered her palms and then rubbed soap all over my back, butt, arms, and legs while Summer remained slumped against my chest. Adrienne then pulled the detachable shower head off its hook to spray me down. She then directed Summer to switch sides and hug me from behind so she could lather up and soap up my front side. She paid extra attention to my limp penis and balls, but even her spectacular nude body and supple fingers couldn’t get a rise out of me. But following Adrienne’s tender ministrations, I found the energy to wash my own face and scrub off that top millimeter layer the way I’d wanted.

The three of us exited the shower. Summer let me help dry her off while Adrienne toweled herself, and then Adrienne rather playfully wrapped her towel around my head and scrubbed my hair so vigorously I almost felt like I was caught in a terrycloth tornado. By the time she pulled the towel away with a beaming smile, I couldn’t help but smile back, even if only for a few seconds before the weight of the day’s loss sank back down atop my heart.

For the very first time, I found myself wondering just how different my life would be now that Yvaine was gone. I mean, I’d occupied my analytical mind with all the bureaucratic project management action items necessary to properly document and legally account for her passing. But now I thought about how much I’d miss her vibrant conversation during Sunday brunches. I reminisced about our verbal sparring matches over her daughter’s wellbeing. I swallowed thickly at the knowledge that the phrase, ‘Spread ‘em, Pleasure Doll’ would no longer be able to pass my lips ever again.

But as much as I would miss Yvaine’s company, my loss paled in comparison to Summer’s. She’d lost her mom. She’d lost the one person in the whole world she knew would always have her back. I mean yeah, I was her boyfriend, but there was no way I could ever possibly fill the mom-shaped hole Summer had to be feeling in her heart. And I couldn’t imagine what she was currently going through.

Adrienne had brought in pajamas for me and Summer to wear, along with her own, and we changed before leaving the bathroom. Dawn was waiting on the bed when the three of us emerged. My best friend scooted to the far edge of the king-size mattress, patting the space next to her. Summer held my hand and tugged me with her as she moved to that spot. Her waterworks had stopped while in the shower, but she had fresh tears and sobs as she laid down facing her BFF. Dawn cooed gently and stroked Summer’s hair before softly kissing her girlfriend on her forehead. I spooned myself behind Summer, holding her close. And Adrienne nestled in behind me.