Chapter 24

Wednesday afternoon, they met Millie after dinner and clambered into her elderly Ford Fiesta, both in the back, school rules forbade pupils riding in the front seat unless the back seat was full.

“This is more like it,” Gabbie said cheerfully as they headed slowly for the motorway, “I’ve been spoilt by too many posh cars lately, this is a proper car. Millie, Lucy’s dad has an Aston Martin, he reluctantly let Steve use it to drive us up to Glasgow.”

“You’ve been in an Aston Martin and somehow prefer my old banger?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say prefer, but this is a real car, one that I’d probably drive when I get my licence.”

“You’d buy an old Fiesta with all the money you’ll have in the bank in a few weeks?” Lucy asked incredulously.

“Well, you’ve seen how clumsy I can be, I wouldn’t risk being at the wheel of a nice car.”

“I’ll tell you what, forget learning to drive, buy me a Range Rover and I’ll be your chauffeur.”

“Hahaha, that sounds like a plan.”

“How on earth did Steve cope spending a week with you two?” Millie asked.

“Oh, he found a way to survive,” Gabbie replied, before bursting into a fit of giggles, Lucy soon followed and Millie just shook her head and concentrated on the winding B-road that cut through the Yorkshire Dales on its way to the M6.

Gabbie’s appointment was at 3pm, they’d set off at 1:30 and were in the waiting room in plenty of time. All Gabbie’s laughter disappeared as they walked from the car park to the therapist’s office, which was on a lovely tree-lined square behind the shopping centre. The waiting room was small, just four chairs, a coffee table with some magazines and a water fountain in the corner.

At five minutes to three an elegant woman in her late 30’s opened the door, she was tall, slim and with very fashionable metallic silver hair, she smiled at the three people in the room and squatted down in front of the chairs, “ok, who’s Gabbie?”

Gabbie, put up her hand, “hello Gabbie, are these your friends?”

Lucy spoke, “I’m Gabbie’s best friend, Lucy.”

“She’s my girlfriend and emotional support human,” Gabbie said quietly.

“Ahh yes, the lady who phoned from your school said you would probably bring a friend,” she looked over at Millie, “and...”

“I’m Millie, Assistant House Mistress of their boarding house,”

“Ahh, you used to be called Matron when I was at school, but I think that term is a bit out of fashion now.”

“I definitely don’t like the word matron.”

“I don’t blame you,” she turned to Gabbie, “so, I’m Sylvie, I’ve been a therapist specialising in childhood trauma for 10 years now, I’m hoping I can help you Gabbie.”

“I hope so to,” Gabbie replied.

“I’m guessing you want Lucy to sit in the session.”

“Yes please, I have no secrets from her, so anything I say, I’m happy for her to hear.”

“That’s good, a proper foundation for a lasting relationship. Now, we’ll not hold the session out here in the waiting room, I have much comfier chairs in my office. Millie, you can’t really sit in on the session I’m afraid.”

“That’s ok, I didn’t expect to.”

“There’s only water out here, sorry about that, there’s a Starbucks across the square if you like, we’ll be about an hour.”

“That’s ok, I’m not supposed to leave the building while Gabbie’s in your office.”

“Of course, I understand. I’ll tell you what, pop down to the receptionist and she’ll let you help yourself from the kitchen.”

With that she led Gabbie and Lucy into her office and closed the door.

Lucy’s only experience of a psychiatrist’s office was what she’d seen on films and TV, so she was expecting a dark office, lots of mahogany or dark oak, leather chairs and one of those leather reclining beds.

What she saw here was almost exactly like Diane’s office, it was very bright, helped by big floor to ceiling windows, the bookcases were painted a very pale blue colour, the chairs were a sandy cream colour and the desk was glass, the only things on the desk were a MacBook Air and a telephone.

“Take a seat, girls, make yourselves comfy.”

They sat on the sofa, it was very comfortable, Gabbie held Lucy’s hand tightly, Sylvie saw Gabbie’s white knuckles from squeezing Lucy’s hand, “relax Gabbie, I think you’re hurting Lucy.”

“Oh shit, sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, that’s my first rule in here, you have nothing to apologise for. Now, take deep breaths, centre yourself and relax. Close your eyes if it helps or look around the room or out at the trees, whatever works to relax you.”

“Holding Lucy helps me relax.”

“So hold Lucy’s hand, but do it lightly, like you’re walking in a park, not like you’re in a cinema watching a scary movie.”

Gabbie giggled, “oh sorry, I shouldn’t be giggling. This is serious isn’t it.”

“There you go apologising again. These sessions are yours, how you take them is down to you. Yes, we’ll be talking about a very serious subject, but how you react to what we talk about is down to you. Some people see laughing at the past as a way to get over it, some people cry, some people scream. This room is pretty soundproof, did you see how thick my door is? There’s no noise getting through there, so react any way you like, just try not to break anything is all I ask.”

Gabbie let go of Lucy’s hand, she kicked off her school shoes and crossed her legs on the sofa, she shut her eyes and took deep breaths.

After a minute she opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’m ready I think.”

For the next 50 minutes Gabbie talked to Sylvie about her early childhood, times before everything went to shit, about going to clubs with her mum and watching her sing, family holidays, camping in the woods amongst the trees and watching squirrels and badgers and rabbits, all the nice stuff so she was comfortable in Sylvie’s office.

“That was excellent Gabbie, next week won’t be so much fun, but every time things get distressing for you, if things get dark, think of the squirrels.”

“Thanks, I will, I love squirrels.”

“I believe you’re sorting the bills weekly Lucy.”

“Yes, I am, unless you prefer to bill my mum.”

“Whichever works for you.”

Lucy pulled out her dad’s charge card, not the black Amex, just his regular debit card.

“Don’t let Gabbie see the bill, ok,” she whispered as she handed the card over, “post it to my mum, she’ll only get paranoid about costing us money.”

“Fine, I understand,” she whispered back before looking at Gabbie and asking, “Gabbie, why don’t you fetch Millie while I do some paperwork with Lucy.”

“Will Gabbie need to take any drugs or anything?” Lucy asked.

“I hope not, she’s not showing any signs of depression, she was low when we came in, and that worried me a little, because the mood swing from low to high can be a classic sign, but I’m not seeing any other evidence. I think we need at least 6 sessions to get a full picture of the damage and the route out, is that a concern financially?”

“Not in the slightest, my mum isn’t poor, neither is my dad, and if we run through their funds we can start on the £20 million or so Gabbie’s dad left her.”

“Wow, now I’m glad you mentioned that, has the money he left her changed Gabbie’s opinion of her dad.”

“You’ll have to ask her, because to be honest I only found out about just how much she went through in the last week. To be honest, I think she’s just puzzled, but check with her.”

“I’ll try and bring it in next week.”

“About next week, well, the week after. Gabbie is dependent on me, and whilst I don’t have a problem with helping her, I want to help her, I think she also needs to stand on her own two feet before she can properly heal, so I’m thinking, is it a good idea for me to be here, long term will it hinder her progress if I’m always here.”

“That’s a very astute observation. I don’t know enough about your shared dynamic to comment yet on whether her dependence on you is helping or hindering her recovery.”

“Ok, I just want what’s best for Gabbie, so I’m happy sitting in here, in the waiting room or back at school.”

Gabbie bounced back in the room holding Millie’s hand, “sorry I’ve been so long, she was downstairs chatting with your receptionist.”

“That’s fine Gabbie, Lucy and I have just finished here, shall we do the same time next week?”

“That works for us,” Millie answered, “it might be someone else who brings them, but whoever comes, they’ll always stay in the waiting room.”

“Or downstairs chatting with Phoebe,” Sylvie laughed.

“Err, yes, or downstairs chatting with Phoebe, but always in the building.”

“I understand, just so long as whoever comes doesn’t try to enter my office during the session.”

They all thanked Sylvie and left the building. Gabbie was chatty on the way home and was so hyper from the session she couldn’t concentrate on her prep that night and Lucy had to finish it for her.

As they lay in bed Gabbie finally started to calm down, Lucy tenderly swept Gabbie’s hair away from her face before kissing her, “you know the sessions won’t be the same from next week, Sylvie will start you working through the bad stuff.”

“I know, but can we keep remembering the good stuff until then, can we have a full week of sunny memories please.”

“Of course we can sweetie, in fact I think we are in a position to make new sunny memories, but we’ll have to be quiet while we do it, do you think you can make love silently?”

“I can certainly try...”

The next few days went quietly, they gained a few new friends, or at least people who went out of their way to speak to them in the common room or as they walked between lessons.

A few girls would talk privately to Gabbie and share details of abuse they’d suffered from relatives or boyfriends, a shocking number of girls had been abused by brothers or uncles in their early childhood.

The first time a girl spoke to Gabbie, she mentioned it to Lucy, no specifics, it was private, she didn’t even tell Lucy the girl’s name, and Lucy didn’t ask. Lucy told Gabbie to tell the girl to go speak to Dot or her house mistress, so after that Gabbie thanked each girl for confiding in her, but advised each one to speak to Dot or her house mistress as Lucy had said, because they were in a position to help.

The most shocking story was from a boy who told her about the abuse he’d suffered at the hands of his mother’s boyfriend, Gabbie took the boy to Lucy and together they took him to see Millie who made him an appointment straight away to see Dot before he could change his mind.

After dinner on Saturday, an unseasonably warm evening, they were sitting on a bench near the war memorial looking towards the hills in the distance. Steve wandered over and asked if it was ok to join them.

“Of course Steve,” Lucy replied, “why did you even ask?”

“Because you’re officially a couple now, and I’m the third wheel, so I can’t just assume I can interrupt you.”

“Oh silly Steve, you’re my brother, you’re our brother, you can come and join us for a chat whenever you like,” she assured him.

“Well, don’t be afraid to tell me to piss off if I’m interrupting anything.”

“We’d never do that!” Gabbie cried, “You are our absolute favourite male human, we’d break off almost anything to talk to you, and you know it.”

“That’s nice to know, make sure you make me aware of where you draw the line, so I won’t try to interrupt something you won’t break off,” he said with a smile.

“I think the noises will give you a clue,” Gabbie laughed.

“Anyway brother, to what do we owe the visit?” Lucy asked as she shuffled away from Gabbie so he could sit between them.