Chapter 18

Later on, after the girls had dressed, they cleaned the house, again. It was nowhere near as messy as the day before, with no need to bring in a carpet cleaner. They picked up their discarded clothing and tossed it all in the washing machine. There were many empty wine bottles, they all went in the recycling.

With the house clear Gabbie set about preparations for tea, she wanted it to be extra special for Lucy’s friend Gem, but nothing posh, so she’d decided to make pizza from scratch, so first she made some pizza dough and left it to prove. They didn’t know if Gem was a vegetarian, so she was going to make one with chicken and one with mushrooms and peppers. Strictly no booze today though, so Jerry went to the supermarket for a selection of soft drinks.

“You can make pizza, from scratch?” Lucy marvelled as she watched Gabbie work.

“Oh yes, it’s quite easy, one of the most important things is to make the base as thin as possible, much thinner than from Dominoes. They have to be thicker so they stay warm longer and hold all those toppings. If they were too thin they’d fall apart as you try to lift them out of the box. I’m going to make my base super thin and crank the oven up until we could melt glass, then the pizza will cook in a couple of minutes.”

“You have so many skills Gabbie, why are you so modest?”

“Cooking, singing and kissing, not really a good range of skills Lucy.”

“You do them all so well, and they all make me happy. You should be so proud of yourself Gabbie. You need to work on your self-esteem, because you’re a lot stronger than you think you are.”

“I’m not strong, look how often I burst into tears, I’m weak.”

“You’re alive, you survived, a lot of people don’t survive that kind of abuse Gabbie. Every day since last week you’ve been a bit better. Day by day I’ll help you stay alive, I won’t give up on you Gabbie, because I need you with me.”

Gabbie looked at Lucy, “thank you Lucy, I’ve no idea why you need me though.”

“Because you complete me, you fill a Gabbie shaped hole in my life.”

“Oh Lucy, I’d hug you but my hands are covered in dough.”

“Haha, you can hug me later, when you’re clean, then we can get dirty again.”

“Could you wipe my eyes please, I think you can guess why.”

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for, tear wiper extraordinaire.”

Lucy wiped Gabbie’s eyes, then she whispered in her ear, “I need you because nobody else makes me feel the way you do.”

Then she stepped back and said, “and once we’re grown up, and have a place of our own, I’d probably starve or die of food poisoning if I had to cook for myself.”

“Haha, that’s the real reason.”

Diane and Steve arrived home while Jerry was out at the supermarket, Lucy met Diane at the door, they hugged like they’d not seen each other in years.

“Did it go alright last night?” Diane whispered.

“It’s ok, he’s not here, we sent him out for cans of pop for tonight.”

“Ahh, should have realised, the Audi isn’t in the garage.”

“It went ok, a bit of trauma afterwards, I’ll tell you about it later, the mission was successful though, you will have some fun when we go back to school.”

“Thank you, I’m glad it worked out.”

“Did you have fun?”

“What do you mean?” Diane asked.

“With Steve.”

“We didn’t do anything.”

“Really! What about the dick pic you sent?”

“Haha, I knew that would wind you up.”

“It worked.”

“Don’t worry honey, we didn’t do anything. I stole that photo off his phone. I saw it when he was showing me pictures from school, I also saw more than I wanted to see of you and Gabbie. When he was at the bar I sent the photo to my phone. Look at it, I’m pretty sure it’s from his dorm at school.”

Lucy pulled out her phone and looked at the photo in her messages, and sure enough when she looked at the photo properly, she saw the standard teak school desk / bed and carpet.

“Sorry for doubting you mum.”

“Would you have been mad if I had done it with Steve?”

“I was at first, but Gabbie told me I was being a complete hypocrite.”

“Not a hypocrite, you love Steve, you were jealous. I love my husband, now you know how I felt at first when you suggested your idea, but you’re young, you think a different way to me. I know you meant well.”

“Thank you, I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“It’s ok sweetheart, I’m not upset. I need to unpack now and have a quick shower. Come to my office in half an hour, we’ll have a chat about the trauma you mentioned.”

“Ok mum,” Lucy said as she stepped away from Diane.

“Come here Lucy, you look all lost, I don’t like leaving you like that.”

Lucy moved back and Diane hugged her tightly, “you are such an amazing girl Lucy, I’m proud to be your mum. You’re so giving, maybe too giving at times, but you just want to help people, and that makes you so different to most other girls.”

Lucy didn’t know what to say, so she just shrugged and thanked Diane, who picked up her bag and set off up the stairs.

“Is there anything up here I don’t want to see?”

“No, we tidied everything up, we didn’t make much mess anyway. You might want to look in mine and Gabbie’s room.”

“Oh yes, did the building go well?”

“Really well, admittedly Jerry did most of the work, but we helped a lot, he’d have struggled without me holding bits of wood.”

“I bet he would, so it’s all done then?”

“Yep, all done, and everything put back. I love it, thanks mum.”

“Excellent, I go away for the day, and you build furniture and tidy up, I so win at parenting.”

Later Diane took Lucy into her office, she locked the door and they sat on her sofa and shared a pot of tea and some wagon wheels.

Lucy told Diane about last night, specifically about Gabbie’s twin traumas.

“So, Gabbie’s still a bit unstable.” Diane said.

“Well, I prefer to think of it as fragile,” Lucy replied defensively.

“Are you sure you’re doing the right thing Lucy? Marriage is a serious business, it’s meant for life and extracting yourself from a failed marriage can be tricky.”

“I’ve never been surer of anything mum, Gabbie is the most important person in my life,” she pounded her chest, “I can feel her here, my heart, it aches when she’s not around. I love her so much mum, I have to be with her, so I need to mend her, I really do.”

“Need to, or want to?”

“Is there a difference?”

“Want to just suggests you’d like to do something, need to means you absolutely have to do it.”

“I need to!”

“Right, that’s what I thought, so we have to put a plan together, she’s going to need help at school, even the most open and accepting school isn’t going to be prepared for someone with Gabbie’s complex needs. I’m going to phone the school counsellor and get her booked in for sessions, you may want to sit in on a couple of sessions until she feels comfortable talking on her own. I’m also going to pay to get you moved into a two person room, so you don’t have a third person acting as gooseberry.”

“Lizzie is ok, if you have us moved it’ll get us noticed even more.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. You’ll have to let them know we’re getting married at Easter though. That may cause some friction.”

“Ahh, yes, I wonder if it’s ever happened before, surely it must have.”

Diane picked up the phone, “go help Gabbie, I’ll speak to Miss Warner, see what she has to say. I’ll come get you both once I know what’s happening.”

Lucy spent half an hour chopping onions, tomatoes, mushrooms and peppers while Gabbie cooked a chicken breast for the meat pizza.

When everything was ready Diane called them both into her office.

“I’ve just spoken to Miss Warner and Mrs Anders, the school counsellor.”

“Okay...” Gabbie said.

“And they have a plan in place that will help you come to terms with what’s been happening.”

“Lucy is helping me,” Gabbie said, “she’s doing so well, I’m feeling better.”

“I know she is, but Mrs Anders has more experience in this area. You won’t be there alone, Lucy will be with you during the sessions, if you want her.”

“I will, I need Lucy.”

“I told Miss Warner that you were getting married, and you wanted to change your name, she was puzzled about how this would be handled then had a brainwave. There’s a spare staff flat in your boarding house, she’s going to move you there, the reason given will be your need for privacy for health reasons.”

“That’s a great idea,” Lucy said.

“And she suggested you tell no-one about getting married, the fact you’re a couple is fine, but married may be a step too far right now. Closer to the time maybe, once everyone is used to you being a couple.”

“Ahh, that’s sensible,” Lucy said, “I imagine it’s all too weird for some people.”

Diane looked at Gabbie, her head was down, all the attention to her needs was too much for her, “Does this sound ok to you sweetheart?”

“I think so,” Gabbie said quietly,” how much will I have to tell Mrs Anders?”

“That’s really up to you,” Diane said, “but the more you tell her, the more she will understand your situation. Everything you tell her will be confidential. If you are concerned about talking to school staff, we could pay for a professional therapist, there must be one near school.”

“I think I’d prefer to talk to someone who I won’t bump into around school.”

“Ok sweetie, I’ll talk to Mrs Anders and see if there’s someone she would recommend. I’m sure she’ll understand. Do you want me to phone her now, while you’re here?”

“Ahh, yes please. Maybe I could speak to her, if I feel up to it.”

“Of course, only if you want to. I’ll call her now, on speakerphone.”

Diane dialled the school office and they put her straight through to Mrs Ander’s mobile.

“Ahh, hello, it’s Diane Temple again, I’ve got Gabbie and Lucy with me now, on speakerphone.”

“Hello Gabbie,” Mrs Anders said softly, “please call me Dot.”

“So, Dot. I’ve spoken to Gabbie at length this afternoon, and her concern, as you can understand I’m sure, is that she will be telling someone some very intimate details, and she may then see that person around school.”

“I can assure you, everything you tell me is confidential.”

“Oh no!” Gabbie cried, “it’s not confidentiality I’m concerned about. It’s just I will see someone around school who knows my story, and I don’t think I could handle that.”

“Ahh, yes, I can understand that, so what would you like to do?”

“Gabbie needs to talk to someone, quite urgently really, but it needs to be someone from outside school.”

“We do have someone from CAHMS, the youth mental health service, comes once a week, but it can take a long time to get on their books.”

“I am more than willing to pay for a therapist, I want to do whatever I can to help Gabbie come to terms with her past so she can move forward into her new life.”

“I see you do want the best. I’ll ring around and speak to a few people, I’m sure we can get Gabbie on the books of someone who has experience working with children in her situation.”

“Thank you so much,” Diane said, “when you make appointments can you make sure Lucy is allowed to attend, as she needs to stay with Gabbie at all times until she’s stronger.”

“Of course, I’ve also made sure all tutors and house masters are aware of Gabbie’s situation, no specifics of course, but we need to ensure no nasty and inaccurate rumours are spread.”

“Thanks for being so understanding, Mrs Anders,” Gabbie said.

“This is what I’m here for, whenever you need to speak to someone, just ask your house mistress, she won’t ask why, she’ll just make you an appointment. We can talk things through, nothing leaves my office without your permission, and I never judge the girls Gabbie, ever.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You do that Gabbie, I only ever want what’s best for you, so I’ll find you a good therapist to talk to, I guess you’d prefer a female therapist.”

“Yes please, if possible, I’m just assuming they’ll have a better understanding of my situation.”

“That’s what I thought, and I think I know just the person, she’s a bit further away than I’d like, so the travel will be a little more expensive, it’s an hour each way, I’ll get her on the phone straight after this call and get you on her books as soon as possible.”

“Seriously Dot,” Diane said, “money is no object here, if you have to book a helicopter to get Gabbie and Lucy to the office I’m fine with it.”

“Well, I don’t think that will be necessary, we have vans and drivers available.”

“Just so you know, we’re not looking for the budget option here.”

“Fair enough, I’ll speak to Dr Walker, then assuming she’s got sessions available I will phone you with details of the costs, we would normally pay them and add the expenses to your bill, is that acceptable?”

“Whatever works for you, Lucy has her dad’s credit card, so she could pay for each session if that helps?”

“Ahh yes, that would make things easier. I’m afraid we’d still have to bill you a mileage rate for the transport unless there are other vehicles going that that way.”

“That’s absolutely fine.” Diane said, “Now we won’t keep you any longer as I know you are busy. You’ve put all our minds at ease knowing you will take good care of Gabbie.”

“Thank you so much Mrs Anders, I feel a lot better about coming back to school now,” Gabbie added.

“I look forward to seeing you on Sunday afternoon, if you come to my office first, we can discuss all the revised arrangements we’ll be putting in place as part of your care package. In the meantime, I’ll call you tomorrow Diane with regards to costs for the sessions and transport.”

“Ahh, tomorrow isn’t good, we’ll be away all day, we’re going up to remove Gabbie’s stuff from her parents’ house and visit a couple of his victims, so it’ll be an emotional day.”

“I totally understand, I can put everything in an email.”

“That would be good, we’re going wedding dress shopping on Saturday to cheer us all up.”

“Oh yes, you’re getting married aren’t you, that’s amazing. It’ll take some time for people to get used to that, but there’s always new experiences at a school and this is one we’ll just have to make sure everyone is ok with.”

“So, we’ll see you Sunday Dot, thanks for all you and the school are doing for Gabbie.”

Diane cut the call.

“Mum, how do you know I’ve got dad’s card? He said he’d not told you!”

“Sweetie, who do you think pays the bills, I know you have his Gold Card and his Centurion Card. It’s ok.”

“Shit. So you know about the bill from London?”

“Yep, he didn’t tell me, but I kind of guessed he’d not been shopping in a couple of those stores. But I’ve also seen you’ve not done anything like that again, so I know you learnt your lesson.”

Diane turned to Gabbie, “So, are you ok with what we just heard?”

“I guess so, Dot is really lovely, but I just can’t cope right now with anyone at school other than Lucy knowing about my life.”

“I’m sure she understands, I’m also sure you’re not the only kid at that school who’s been in this situation, obviously not exactly the same as you, but someone with drama they don’t want to be too specific about.”

“I guess so. I look around school and everyone looks so perfect, to some people maybe my life looks perfect.”

The gate buzzer sounded.

Lucy jumped up, “oh shit, that’ll be Gem, I completely forgot the time.”

“Oh wow, I’ve been so looking forward to meeting your friend.”

“Well, let’s go see her. Thanks mum, for helping Gabbie, and being so understanding about everything.”

“Not a problem, you go let Gem in, I’ll go see how Jerry is, maybe he’s recovered from last night.”

“We were gentle, honest,” Gabbie giggled.

“I’m sure you were.”

The gate buzzed again.

“Go, before she runs away,” Diane laughed.

“I’ve not seen Gem in years,” Lucy told Gabbie as they ran to the gate, “she was my best friend in primary school, but then she went to the local high school and mum sent me away to our school.”

“Is she pretty?” Gabbie asked.

“She was, I guess I had a bit of a crush on her, but we were really young, and girls do crush on each other at primary school.”

“Will I like her?”

“I’ve honestly no idea, she might have changed a lot, become a real bitch, I hope not, I hope she’s still lovely, because I’m kind of counting on her to be my friend if I do go to the local college.”

“Then I hope she’s still nice,” Gabbie said sincerely.

“Oh, and no flirting with her, I don’t want her running away if she’s not into girls.”

“Haha, what do you take me for Lucy?” Gabbie asked in mock astonishment.

Lucy tapped the code into the gate control and it rolled back, a very pretty blonde girl stepped through, she was wearing ripped jeans, red hi-top All Stars and a black My Chemical Romance hoodie.

Gem held her arms wide as the gate closed behind her, “oh wow Lucy, it’s been so long, and aren’t you gorgeous now.”

Lucy hugged her friend then she introduced Gabbie.

“This is my girlfriend, and fiancée, Gabbie.”

“Girlfriend, and fiancée, amazing, and you’re so pretty Gabbie. I’ve got a girlfriend now, all the boys at school are such dickheads.”

“Who’s your girlfriend,” Lucy asked, “will I know her.”

“I don’t think so, she’s from the other side of town, she didn’t go to our primary, Sophie she’s called.”

As they walked back Gem kept stopping to look at the house.

“I thought mum had given me the wrong address when I saw the fancy gates, I never knew you lived somewhere like this.”

“Didn’t you ever come round here for birthday parties?”

“I don’t think so, maybe, but I’m sure I’d remember.”

“I know I came to your house a few times for birthday parties and stuff, anyway, you’re here now, why don’t you give Sophie a call, invite her round, we have plenty of food, if she brings a swimming costume, we could have a pool party.”

“I’m making home-made pizza and tiramisu.”

“Home-made, like from scratch or from the freezer?” Gem asked.

“Properly home-made, Gabbie is just the best cook ever, she’s even made the pizza dough,” Lucy replied.

“I wish I knew how to cook, I’m just rubbish in the kitchen,” Gem sighed.

“So am I,” Lucy replied, “Gabbie is also an amazing singer. Isn’t Jerry mixing your songs this afternoon?” She asked Gabbie.

“Dave did the mixing on Tuesday, I think Jerry’s putting the video together today.”

“Amazing. Gem, phone Sophie, see if she wants to come round for pizza then we’ll go down to see how Jerry is getting on.”

“What pizza are you doing, Sophie is a veggie?”

“I anticipated this,” Gabbie answered, “I’ve prepared mushrooms and mixed peppers, if she wants anything else then we’ve got a fridge full of stuff like olives, aubergine, asparagus, loads of different cheese. Maybe blue cheese, that goes well on pizza. We’ve even got pineapple if she’s the kind of freak who likes pineapple on pizza.”

“Cool, she eats fish, so is a bit of a hypocrite I reckon, she’d probably like tuna and sweetcorn maybe.”

“Great, there’s bound to be a can of tuna somewhere,” Lucy said, “if not Jerry’s got a fast car, the supermarket is only a mile away.”

While Gem phoned Sophie, Lucy messaged Jerry to see if it was ok to come down for a quick tour of the studio, he said it was fine, the door was unlocked.

As they descended to the studio Gem told them Sophie had to wait for her mum to get home to watch her little brother, but she’d be round as soon as she could after, probably around 4 to 4:30.

Her jaw dropped when she saw the studio, “this is like a professional recording studio, like the ones you see in videos on MTV.”

Jerry laughed, “that’s because this is a professional studio, we regularly do full band recordings in here. If we need strings we can fit 20 members of an orchestra in here at one time.”

“So, you’re like, famous?” she asked.

“Hahaha, not anymore, obviously.”

Gem looked shocked and started to apologise.

“I’m not even slightly offended. I used to be famous, back before you were born, I was in a Britpop band 25 years ago, we toured a lot with bigger bands, sometimes as headliners, but we never really made the big time like Oasis or Blur. Nowadays I mostly do advert jingles and TV soundtracks.”

Lucy named a few shows for Gem, “oh yeah, I’ve seen those,” she replied.

“Well, Jerry and his band did the soundtracks to them all.”

“Seriously, oh wow, so why aren’t you famous?”

“Mostly because I don’t want to be, I still tour with bands who need an extra guitar or keyboard player for a few weeks, I prefer working in the background though, these days, writing and recording music down here. I can do most of it myself with Pro Tools, I just call the band in if we need a more ‘live’ feel to a song.”

“Anyway,” Lucy broke in, “do you have any of Gabbie’s songs ready for Gem to hear?”

“As a matter of fact, I’ve just finished the visuals on this one, take a seat ladies, and watch the big screen.”

They squashed together on the studio sofa and the huge screen sprang into life. Gabbie was at the keyboard singing Somewhere Only We Know.

“Oh my,” Gem said, drying her eyes as the screen faded to black, “beautiful, really beautiful, all of it, the song, the music, the video.”

Gabbie was smiling at Gem’s reaction, “did you think it was ok, really? You’re not just saying that?”

“Yes, it was wonderful, you have such a lovely voice.”

The screen came back to life playing the video Jerry had assembled for Chasing Pavements, the footage was fades of Matt’s photos and videos, including some snippets of video he’d filmed around the house and garden, it looked very professional.

“Holy shit,” Gem exclaimed, “your voice is amazing, such range, and a lot of power.”

“Jerry gave me a recording session for my birthday.”

“Oh, when was your birthday?”

“Tuesday, I’m sweet 16 now.”

“Yayy, so am I, my birthday was last month. What are you doing with the recordings?”

“Jerry’s friend is setting up a Spotify artist account for me, and a YouTube account, the tracks will be uploaded soon, and a website I think, basically, I will own Social Media,” she laughed.

“Haha, that’s great.”

“Yeah, I reckon I’ll be the only girl in school who’s got a Spotify listing.”

“You’ll certainly be the only girl who’s engaged to her sister,” Lucy laughed.

Gem’s jaw dropped and she nearly spilt her drink.

“No I won’t,” Gabbie said, “because you will be too...”

“Oh yeah, that’s true.”

“Please explain, because that is just too weird.”

“Ahh, well, for reasons we can’t really go into right now, my mum is currently Gabbie’s legal guardian, so she’s technically my sister. The guy at the registry office said he couldn’t see any legal impediment to me marrying my sister.”

“Oh my god, that’s wonderful, when’s the big day?”

“At Easter, kind of got to wait until after my birthday, which is in March. The earliest date after that is the Easter holidays, can’t really do it in term time. So we’re tying the knot exactly a year after we first met.”

“I love that you’re serious. Me and Sophie, I don’t know, we’re just fooling around I guess, I don’t even know if I love her, I just enjoy her company more than any of the boys around.”

“And that’s fine,” Gabbie said, “Lucy though, I don’t think I’d still be alive without her, she’s my whole life.”

“And Gabbie is my entire being, my every waking moment is consumed by her, she’s that important.”

“I wish I felt that strongly about someone, anyone, I’m not even sure I feel that strongly about myself.”

“You will, one day. Someone will come along who pulls the right strings, in the meantime, be the person Sophie needs you to be, and perhaps she’ll become the person you need her to be.”