Chapter 21

So late September and October brought a bunch of changes to Andrew’s ordered life and for the most part it was great. He was still exercising every morning before getting to school to swim. Kearns seemed a creature of routine the same as Andrew was and enjoyed the exercise in the morning before class. They warmed up and then Andrew would start some interval training. Kearns would stop, watch him for a bit, give him a couple of pointers and then go back to swimming himself. Some mornings there would be other swim team members there and Kearns would spend more time coaching than swimming.

Even just a few weeks later Andrew didn’t have a lot of recollection of schoolwork during this time. He was bored at school, enjoyed the subjects but unless he pushed himself he was bored. It sounded conceited, and there is truth to that contention, but it didn’t make it untrue. There were days where Andrew wondered if he should be in 4^th year or doing some of his exams early. It was never raised by the school or by his parents so it came to nothing. He became a fixture in the library, was there every lunchtime except Thursday, when he went over to the University Music School for his double bass lesson. Andrew’s bass teacher worked there and had found a study room they could use. That is when being right in the centre of the city was a huge benefit. It was a five minute walk from the school over to the University so Andrew was able to keep playing his bass even though he had ditched the school orchestra. Study after school centred on helping Suzanne now. They studied on the three afternoons as agreed skipping the Wednesday because of after school Sports. The school had started hockey teams with the arrival of the girls at the school. All strictly segregated. Guys played rugby or did cross country running, girls did field hockey and something else. Andrew didn’t ask what the non-hockey alternative for the girls was, there may not even have been one. However, there was no crossover. The sports were kept segregated. Suzanne played hockey while Andrew did cross country. Andrew had played rugby for the last two years of primary school. By his own admission he was crap, small, afraid of getting hit and not particularly happy about getting dirty. So not ideal rugby player material. Those with no interest in continuing rugby did cross country running instead. It was running, there was no cross country aspect to it at all. Maybe once upon a time. It wasn’t much of a stretch for Andrew, given that he ran for 30 minutes every morning.

Tutoring Suzanne was very good for him as initially Andrew was not a good tutor. School came too easy for him and so to take his time and break a subject down and, mostly importantly, not be an arrogant arse challenged him in a way he was not expecting. What helped was that Suzanne stayed and studied as well. They got into a routine where Andrew was more of an on-call tutor helping out at specific points as Suzanne did her study review, rather than an hour of tutoring followed by an hour of her studying on her own. The two of them learned to be tutor and pupil at the same time.

Andrew had understood peer pressure through his own athletic experiences. He never had any peer pressure at academics. As usual, it didn’t occur to him that students felt peer pressure on academics. He never felt it so he never thought about it. What Andrew worried about was sports, his lack of talent, not being cool, wanting to fit in. What Suzanne showed him was wanting to fit in was precisely what peer pressure was, but it could happen in the classroom as well. So many people were opening his eyes to new ways of looking at things. He had even read Mockingbird the previous year but the point Atticus made to Scout never hit him. It was embarrassing.

Andrew mentioned this to Suzanne one day when she was thanking him for his help. She had done well in a test in class and was feeling better about herself. Andrew told her that she was helping him as well. She was surprised and he explained how he was a better tutor because of some of the trial and error that they had gone through at the beginning.

“Andrew, Paula did not do as well as I did on the test yesterday. She has been resisting coming here with me despite me telling her it has been good for me. I think she realises now that she needs help. Will you help her too?”

“Of course I will help her. All I ask is that she have the same commitment to study as you and I do. After school for two hours for the three days that we are free and two plus hours on a Sunday. It is the study habit that is helping you the most now. Eight to ten hours a week of study and homework and you can keep up and do well in class. Now that I think about it you shouldn’t be paying me £20 a week. I don’t think you are getting full value anymore.”

“Pah, the money is nothing Andrew. My parents are now paying. I had talked to Mum about our initial conversation and how you had agreed to help me. To say that she was suspicious about you was to put it mildly. She thought you were too good to be true. But then she saw how I started to became more like my old self. She was still unsure about you but at least she wasn’t as negative to my face.”

Suzanne paused here and looked over at him and carried on in a quieter voice.

“I also did as you suggested and approached a girl in sixth year. She was so nice and kind. She really helped me. Girls can be so catty and awful to each other but she searched me out in the playground at break and talked to me, making sure to squelch a couple of the guys in my class who were bugging me. I still get stared at a lot but the comments have dried up. But Mum still kept bugging me about you. Eventually I had enough of her questioning you and your motives and told her the whole conversation. She went from suspicious of you to embarrassed that a boy had helped her daughter rather than she herself. When I got the test back yesterday and showed them they were both delighted. Dad asked me how much I was paying you and when I told him he gave me £100 right there to cover all the money I had spent already. He said that my allowance was going up by the £20 to cover the cost. So please take the money. It has worked out great for me.”

Her genuine enthusiasm made Andrew smile and he nodded. Her demeanour turned pensive and she suddenly looked shy. Her voice was quiet and hesitant.

“Can I ask you a personal question Andrew?”

He looked at her suddenly suspicious.

“Okay. But I might choose not to answer so don’t be upset if I that happens, okay?”

Andrew could see where this was heading. She nodded her agreement.

“When Mum said you were too good to be true I brushed it off at the time. It stuck in my mind however and over the last few weeks I have thought about it more and more. My question is why are you the way you are? Was it because of what happened last year?”

She looked over at him with a worried expression on her face. He had to smile.

“Bloody hell, I didn’t realise I had been so mean to Kate. I’m not going to bite your head off. Relax.”

Andrew could see her shoulders sag slightly as some of the tension left her body.

“Am I talking to you or am I talking to all ten of you? I don’t like being gossiped about. That was part of what bugged me last month. The other part is that I really don’t like being defined by my cancer. I think of that as old Andrew. I am a different person today than the person who had cancer.”

He waited for her response.

“It was me asking for myself and I won’t tell anyone. It just you are very different from most of the other boys in our year, at least the ones I have to deal with. I was curious as to why.”

At least this was honest.

“Suzanne, I will tell you some of the story. Most of the story is private and painful. There are some parts of it that I never talk about to anyone. Not my parents, no one. The other thing is I have trust issues. If you gossip about this and break my trust then I will stop tutoring you. Friends don’t do that. At least my friends don’t. Okay?”

Andrew stared at her waiting for her confirmation. She nodded.

“I understand. This remains between the two of us.”

So he gave her the abbreviated version with no mention of Faith or Leslie. How as a result of getting a clean bill of health he wanted to change. Andrew talked about how he had a plan with goals and realised that nothing was guaranteed in life. Make the most of it. This is where the changes had started. He talked about Nikki and helping him at the library. He mentioned the guard Neil at the Commonwealth Pool helping him get back into swimming. Harry and Mac helping him to work over the summer. The only goals of his six he shared were the personal balance/relationship one and the karmic balance one. Suzanne fell into both those goals. He ended it on a sombre note.

“In some ways I am different than other guys in the year. I am driven and focused. It is this focus that is the difference. I don’t want this to end on a downer but here is the truth and the reason I am the way I am. You were very astute when you asked if having cancer made me the way I am. I watched kids die Suzanne.”

Andrew could feel his eyes beginning to water and blinked for a second to compose himself. He was surprised he had got so emotional.

“Lying there in the Sick Kids undergoing my treatment I saw children younger than me not response and fade away and die. I got a reprieve. It was not my time. So I decided to grab life by the throat and go full throttle. Having people like you in my life stops me from becoming completely driven by academics. I need balance and my friends provide that.”

He stopped and looked at her.

“I can see why you are the way you are.”

She smiled tentatively at him.

“You have gone through a lot. I am glad you shared this with me Andrew. It makes you easier to understand. Although I am surprised at one thing.”

She stopped and looked at him with a gleam in her eye.

“It is very presumptuous of you to consider yourself my friend!”

He really need to work on picking up signals. Old Andrew dashed to the fore, he blushed, he stammered and couldn’t even get the words out to apologise to her.

“It is good to see you are human you big doofus. I am teasing. I am pleased to be your friend. Jeesh.”

Her smile was wide and her whole face lit up.

“Bloody hell you got me good. As you can see dealing with teasing girls is very much still a work in progress. Come on let’s get out of here. I’ll never concentrate now after all this. I want to swing by the City Library. I have no idea where you live. Is that on the way to your bus?”

He started to pack up his unread books.

“Andrew McLeod, skipping studying? Oh my. Sure, I go that way. I either get a bus or walk down to Princes Street and catch a bus out to Corstorphine.”

They walked round until they got to the City Library.

“What do you need to do here Andrew?”

“I have a computer at home and I come in once a week to get another book or two and check out the latest magazines. If one of them is full of good stuff then I can buy it myself. It is what I do most evenings.”

He really couldn’t have sounded any nerdier.

“Okay, I will see you on Monday. Thank you for trusting me Andrew. I won’t let you down.”

So tutoring was going well and he was about to get a second pupil. Later, sitting on the bus on his way home, Andrew thought about what he had explained to Suzanne. He mulled it over in his mind and thought his drive, his focus. The summer had embedded that drive firmly within him. For the first five months after he got the all clear he followed the plan that the three of them had mapped out. But the relentless pace of the summer, rather than overwhelm that drive, had locked it in place. He sat there, staring out the window, looking but not seeing, and realised that he was thriving on the pace of his life. For the first time in months he specifically thought about Faith’s request, to live two lives. Living two lives meant charging hard all the time. As he got off the bus and walked the last block to his house Andrew realised he was getting used to it. He smiled a sad smile as he thought about Faith before squaring his shoulders. He had made a promise to a dying young woman, his friend of only a few weeks but he was going to keep it.

He and Julian had hit it off in a talking about nothing but computers sort of way. They had got into a rhythm of alternating between each other’s houses on a Saturday. They would play around with bits of code and try things set out in some of the magazines. They both had created some of the simple games that were always included in the early computing magazines and had talked about trying to create a more complicated game themselves but it was nothing but talk at present. A couple of geeky boys playing with their computers.

The first time Andrew had arrived at Julian’s house with two large boxes of computer stuff his parents had been funny. Andrew had never met parents who teased their son and his friends. He got to the front door and Julian grabbed one of the boxes while Andrew grabbed the other and they headed to his room. They met his father on the stairs.

“Oh lord, more computer stuff. Come on. You need to get out. Let’s go to the golf club.”

Not hello or an introduction or anything. This was the first thing Andrew ever heard from him.

“Give it a rest Dad. At least wait one day for him to get used to you.”

Turning back to Andrew.

“Ignore him, early dementia I think.”

And with a laugh led him on up the stairs to his room. Mr. Strong had also just laughed and carried on downstairs.

“That was Dad. Harmless but never gives it a rest. You will learn to ignore him. Mum and I do all the time.”

Julian was relaxed about his odd father. The Strongs were great fun. Andrew could see that Julian had a nice family. They were both much older than his own parents and it turned out that Julian was a bit of a miracle baby. They didn’t think they could have children, never stopped practicing, never started protecting and lo, Julian.

His obsession with computers worried them but at least there was now someone who shared his obsession. Mr. Strong was funny in an odd way. He gave Julian a hard time about his computing at every opportunity. The third time Andrew was over at their house they were sitting down having a bite to eat when Mr. Strong started on Julian, but really both of them, again.

“It is a beautiful day. You should be outside while the weather is still good. We should go to the golf club.”

This was his favourite made up destination for them. They both needed to be at the golf course.

“I never understand why you are cooped in your bedroom. Seems such a waste.”

It was time to defend them. Mr. Strong didn’t mean any harm but it got wearing after a while to listen to him moan all the time, even if it was in pretend funny tones.

“Why do you think it is such a waste Mr. Strong? We are not causing any trouble.”

Julian looked at Andrew and both of his parents eyed him.

“We are not just playing games either. We are learning how to create games. We have talked about trying to make our own computer games. This is all very new Mr. Strong. The reason we meet every week is because there are no courses, no exams. We are teaching ourselves.”

Mrs. Strong appeared to be trying to contain a smile and Julian was looking at his father with interest waiting for his reply.

“When you put it like that you do make a good point Andrew. What I wonder though is where is it all going to go. The fact that there are no exams worries me when Julian only has a year and a half of school left. What can he do with this self-taught computer stuff?”