Chapter 3

...

Amelia’s first letters are followed by others describing her reactions to the country she is going to reside in and revealing some of her concerns about her new life.

...

The Connaught Hotel
Belgrave Square
London W1
15/4/1902

Dearest Mama,

Thank you for your letter.

Yes, the arrangements here are most satisfactory; thank you for all you have done. The hotel offers every comfort. The porters and housekeeping staff see to my every need although I must confess to finding the different social system here rather disorienting. To have a grown man, touching his forelock and saying, “Yes, ma’am. At once ma’am.” at my slightest request is a new experience and quite different from being expected to stand aside for men to pass as is the Brabant way. I am afraid that you would find in most foreign.

Such deference is not restricted to the hotel staff. As I was returning to my room after breakfasting this morning, I reached the electric ascender that is used to convey guests to and from the upper floors (this is a marvellous invention, a sort of cupboard suspended from a cable from which you can alight at will – your progress between floors is slow, quiet and smooth without any disconcerting jerks. Its sole disadvantage is that a girl is deprived of making an imposing entrance at the top of a sweeping staircase as I always imagined I would, had I ever got to attend one of the Duke of Brabant’s grand dances.) So, I thought I would have to wait for my turn in the ascender as there were several men in front of me. No, it was not to be! They all stood back and allowed me to precede them, ushering me to the head of the queue. When I got into the small cabin of the ascender they declined to join me, saying that would be quite improper, and allowed me to use it alone. I almost felt guilty (but only for a moment!).

It is very strange to have come from a country in which men’s very word is law and women are expected to be subservient to one in which the reverse is true. It seems astonishing that two cultures so close to one another geographically can be so different; so that back in Brabant I could only expect to be given to a husband and to become his property, whereas here a woman can choose a partner as she sees fit and the man can only comply. Maybe you know this from your contacts here but I suppose it must be something to do with the fact that England has been ruled by a queen for so many years. Three hundred years of continuous governance by women stretching back to Queen Elizabeth the First must have laid the foundations. One wonders what the country might have been like if her daughter Matilda had never been conceived or had not survived the many Jacobite plots against her. Now, everywhere you see portraits of Her Majesty Queen Victoria IV as she approaches her silver jubilee.

I know that I have always expressed my desire for independence and freedom from the rule of man; now I shall have the chance to live up to my ideals, albeit within an arranged relationship. Still, I am placing my trust in your judgement in that regard and know that you would only expect me to become joined with a like-minded soul to myself.

It saddens me that Papa does not approve of the arrangements you have made but I hope that, in time, he will see them as a compromise between my own desires for freedom and his for the continuation of the traditions of an arranged match for his daughter. I suppose, though, he must resent his plans for a commercial dynasty being frustrated.

Thank you so much for arranging the visit of the couturier. She is most keen that I make the correct impression and is to provide me with a selection of costumes that she considers will set the right tone for my first meetings. It may seem girlish foolishness but I know you and I both feel that the right outfit can set one in the right frame of mind for any circumstance. Certainly her advice and practical support have been most welcome.

I have also been studying the guide that you sent me on the ways in which British society works and the ways in which women and men are expected to interact. The guide offers a wealth of helpful suggestions as to the best way to behave and from my limited experience so far it does seem to fit in with how things are arranged here. Even if my new world is going to be very different from Brabant, I hope that I will be able to cope. It will be quite a challenge to throw off the limitations of my previous life and embrace the social norms of my new home, I am sure, but I shall do all I can to do so.

The guide has helped far more than the suggestions of Frau Hech – I fear that it has been so long since she was in the country as to make her cultural observations completely outdated. It seems that my own English is of such an outdated form that it causes amusement to be heard coming from a young woman’s mouth, It has not proved much of an impediment though and everyone has been charming but I am a little self-conscious about it.

Your devoted daughter, Amelia.

...

The Connaught Hotel Belgrave Square London W1 17/4/1902 Dear Lucy, I was glad to hear from you. In the middle of such strangenesses as I am it is good to hear from home. I am so pleased you received my letter. It seems that the conveyance of mails is as efficient here as it is in Brabant, in spite of my father’s view that nothing in a country run by women could function satisfactorily.

My, what an exciting day! Mama had arranged to provide me with outfits for my life here and I am now equipped as every well-dressed woman of affairs is in England. Mama had asked Miss Mifton, a couturier of some note here, to help me.

Some of the fashions you would find very welcome, for I know you have complained about the regime of corseting and boning decreed as necessary in Brabant to put our womanly attributes on display for the men around us. The fashions here would cause outrage in De Helder. Here it is quite acceptable for a woman to dress in loose and comfortable clothing if she chooses. She may even wear trousers if that should take her fancy. Indeed I saw one woman in the bar of the hotel (yes, I am able to go there without a chaperone!!!) attired in what looked for all the world like a gentleman’s suit; waistcoat, jacket, tie and all. And, she was smoking! A cigar, would you believe?

I now have an array of beautiful taffeta smocks, some with the most exquisite embroidery, which are quite the ideal garments for relaxation. They are worn without the least underpinning and are not confining to the movements in any respect. Goodness, the freedom that I feel wearing them is beyond any dream. No doubt most in Brabant would consider it scandalous but wearing them sets you free from any concern for pleasing a man. These clothes are no means of confinement but a source of pleasure. What absolute bliss!

Sadly, though, women here are not entirely freed of the tyranny of whalebone and lacing. Many fashions seem not so different to what we are used to. Still, there is a positive side. Whereas in Brabant we have become accustomed to displaying ourselves for the gratification of the male gaze, here the manner is to dress to intimidate, to tantalise and arouse desires that will remain unfulfilled. So, Miss Mifton has decreed that I will need a selection of outfits that will evoke a suitable response in the man that I am about to take as my husband and such others as I encounter. This seems to involve a great deal of black leather, cut provocatively to enhance the breasts, buttocks and waist. These outfits may not cover much more flesh than those that we were expected to wear in Brabant but here at least the strapping, lacing and studs afford a sense of being armoured to frustrate the male desire rather than readying one to be subjected to it. And, of course, it is for me to decide when I wish to create such a response and what (if anything) I allow to occur as a result.