My mom left me a bit messed up, I think. She used to masturbate pretty openly and she kind of taught me to do the same. Not in the open but like under a blanket, next to her. She was a single parent, so I guess sexually frustrated and I was her only daughter so there was no one really to stop her.

We always used to snuggle up under a blanket and watch TV in the evenings and she’d often be watching these cheesy softcore porn movies they used to have on late night cable TV, you know, the ones where they don’t show actual fucking but everything else. To be honest I mostly found them boring, and I didn’t watch much. I’d sort of half fall asleep with my head on my mom’s chest, and almost every time I’d wake up and she’d be masturbating.

I liked it when she finished because she’d hug me tight when she came and then we’d lie there for a while and finally she’d say it was time I went to bed and she’d take me to my room. I understand now she shouldn’t have been doing what she did with me there, but it didn’t bother me at all. In fact it was nice snuggling every evening, and since I didn’t really understand what was going on, it was all fine with me.

I think if that was all that ever happened I’d be fine today, though I don’t think it’s OK and I believe parents definitely shouldn’t masturbate in front of their kids! But I understand that she must have been super-frustrated. I don’t remember her ever having anyone over, for instance.

The thing is, as I got older I always wanted to imitate my mom, and I knew she had her hand between her legs and it made her feel good so I used to put my hand down there too. I mean between my own legs, not hers! I didn’t really know what to do, of course, and I didn’t have orgasms at first, but I knew touching myself down there felt nice and since mom was doing it I didn’t feel embarrassed to do the same thing.

And she never told me not to. We were always both under the blanket so I thought she couldn’t see but of course she knew I was doing it, and I think it turned her on. She’d sort of stroke my hair and my back and masturbate while I kept touching myself and eventually she’d orgasm and then put me to bed.

So, once while we were doing that she reached under my nightgown in front and started touching my tummy (I was a little chubby then). I complained that it tickled, but I really kind of liked it and I felt this funny kind of empty feeling down there that I hadn’t before. Mom stopped tickling but she kept her hand on my tummy and her wrist was touching mine so she could tell I was touching myself.

I could tell she was going at it pretty hard with her other hand and I guess I wanted to imitate her, so I started rubbing myself faster too, and then she started stroking the top of my hand. Pretty soon she finished and after that she took her hand away which made me feel a little disappointed to be honest. I still kept getting that empty feeling down there like I was missing something but I didn’t know how to make it come there.

But the next day we were doing the same thing and mom said “here, babe, let me help you.” I didn’t know what she wanted to help with but she lifted me up a little and pulled off my panties. I was super-surprised and kind of froze but she took my hand and kind of put it back down there and then put her other hand back between her own legs.

She didn’t touch me down there but she had her left hand on top of my hand and sort of guided my fingers if that makes sense. Of course it felt really good and also I was happy that my mom was showing me how to do it, so I relaxed and leaned on her chest and she sort of hugged me close, putting her hand back up on my tummy again.

I felt her slowly stroking my tummy and my chubby little breasts and this time the empty feeling felt like it was going somewhere sort of, like something big might happen, but nothing actually did. It felt very, very nice touching myself without panties though, and my mom stroking my tummy and breasts. Eventually mom had her orgasm and like always she took her hand away and after we rested a little she put me to bed.

Anyway, after that we did the same thing most nights. We’d always watch the movie for a while. I’d started to pay more attention, not really to the boring plot but at least when the actors were naked, because I was curious about naked bodies. And at some point mom would put her hand under my nightgown and start stroking me, usually my back first then my tummy and breasts. After a while I’d lift up my butt a little and she’d help me off with my panties, then we’d both masturbate until she came, then we’d go to bed.

Often in bed I’d keep touching myself and I’d fall asleep that way. I always had the feeling that a really good feeling was just around the corner and I think I understood somehow that that good feeling must be was what was happening to mom, because she’d always breathe really hard and tense up, but I didn’t know what to do to make it happen for me.

Then one night mom had been acting kind of silly and strange all evening. Now I think she was probably drunk. I was never really aware of her drinking, I mean I guess she did but she didn’t really get noticeably drunk in front of me. Most of the time.

But she was definitely acting a little weird this time, and about half way through the movie, which was earlier than we would usually start our routine, she said something like “whew, it’s hot” and she pushed me aside a little and lifted her nightgown clean off. I thought she meant it was too hot to snuggle and kind of edged away, but she put her arm around me and eventually I was resting my head on her chest again. I remember she was breathing really deeply and my head was going up and down with her breaths.

Then she said “Babe?” and I said “mmmm?” and she didn’t answer, but she kind of took the nipple of her right breast and put it near my mouth. I understood what she wanted me to do. I think I hesitated a bit because it was weird, especially after how strange she’d been acting all evening, but I didn’t really mind and I eventually started suckling. She kind of sighed in contentment and put her hand under my nightgown, on my back.

I guess I was expecting milk to come, but of course none did, but I kept suckling and soon she started masturbating. Out of habit I put my hand down there to do the same, but I was in a bit of an awkward position. She paused and then sighed again, and then she lifted my nightgown off.

Kind of reflexively I put my hands over my chest but she said, “It’s OK, babe,” and lifted me up to help me take my panties off. Then she repositioned me so that I was lying on her tummy with her breast sagging right above me, and I took her nipple back into my mouth. She put her hand between my legs and gently parted my thighs.

I was too surprised really to react and when she started masturbating me I just relaxed and let her do it. It felt very good to be honest and I quickly started getting the feeling that something big was going to happen. The big difference I think was that before when I’d had that feeling I’d always started to get kind of sensitive down there and had eased off a little but mom of course didn’t know it was getting sensitive and just kept on going.

I couldn’t help it and started to squirm around a little, it felt both good and a little scary at the same time. She said “mmmmm, babe, does that feel good?” and I let go of her nipple to reply but the feelings were getting so intense that I couldn’t talk, only kind of squeak and then suddenly I felt these incredible waves washing over me. It was the best thing I’d ever felt in my entire life.

When it was over, mom lifted me up and gently kissed me on the forehead. I couldn’t really speak or just didn’t know what to say. She held my naked body tight against hers and it felt so nice being cuddled after such an intense experience. She didn’t make me suckle her any more but she reached down and started masturbating again and pretty soon she began to breathe hard and gasped and had her orgasm.

Now I understood what she must have been feeling every time. After she’d finished, because the movie was still going (though I at least had completely lost track of what was happening), we didn’t go to bed right away. She kept cuddling me, absent-mindedly stroking my tummy and breasts, and I just enjoyed being held.

When she took me to my bedroom like she always did, I was surprised that she didn’t bring my nightgown but I was too sleepy to say anything, so I just slept naked that night. The next morning when I woke up naked I was a bit surprised, then I remembered what had happened. I got dressed and went out. I was a bit embarrassed but mom acted like nothing had happened. She was in her nightgown as usual and it was a bit translucent and I could see her breasts and I remembered suckling on them.

That was the last time for a long time that she touched me down there. I think she realized that was crossing a line. And I mean, she definitely was. I would never, ever touch my kids like that. Of course I don’t masturbate in front of them either!

That evening we cuddled as usual and late in the movie when it was time to start touching ourselves mom didn’t even help me off with my panties, but I took them off myself. Then I thought for a bit and started to take off my nightgown too, but mom said “you shouldn’t take that off, babe.” I didn’t understand and was a bit taken aback, but I obeyed her. I hiked my nightgown up above my hips under the blanket and snuggled up against mom.

I was hoping she would at least touch my tummy and breasts and back like she usually did but she just held me with her hand on my shoulder, not moving. We lay next to each other masturbating for a long time and when I felt the good feeling approaching I didn’t stop but kept rubbing the way mom had the night before and sure enough it kept coming and finally I felt the waves of pleasure and let out a little yelp. I remember mom was staring at me and for a moment I was worried I’d done something wrong, but she was still masturbating herself, and I put my head down on her chest.

I thought maybe she’d like it if I suckled on her breast again but when I tried to lift her nightgown up from under the blanket, she wouldn’t let me. Finally I just lay there with my head on her breast over her nightgown and she stroked my hair. Pretty soon the familiar deep breathing and then she gasped and had her orgasm, and we cuddled for a while and then she put me to bed.

After that it was always basically the same thing every evening, except pretty soon she started touching me again, I mean above the waist, not down there. I was relieved about that because I thought I’d done something wrong so she wasn’t touching me. She’d start by stroking my tummy and that’s how I knew she was ready. I’d take off my panties and hike up my nightgown and start rubbing myself and she’d do the same, while feeling (mostly) my tummy and breasts.

It got to where we would mostly have our orgasms at about the same time. She always acted like touching me down there would be off limits although I really wouldn’t have minded. I was pretty addicted to the good feeling although funnily enough I never really masturbated on my own, only in the evenings cuddling with mom. Now that I was having orgasms every time with her I didn’t feel the need to touch myself when I was alone in bed.

As I started to develop more, I began to get very curious about seeing mom naked so I could compare her mature body to my changing one, and I also felt a weird urge to show her my body as well. Of course we’d seen each other naked many times but, after we stopped bathing together when I was little, she would change in her own room or the bathroom and so would I, so if we did see each other undressed it was always kind of accidental. Except I guess that one time she had taken off my nightgown and masturbated me. That was no accident. But she was drunk that night so it didn’t count, right?

One night when we started the usual routine and I’d already taken off my panties, I just kind of mischievously said what she had that time, “whew, it’s hot” and took off my nightgown too. She didn’t stop me this time, but she didn’t take hers off. Of course the blanket was still covering us up to our waists, so she wasn’t seeing anything other than my breasts which she was used to touching anyway.

I really wanted to show her my whole naked body and ask about all the hair I was getting down there, but I didn’t dare throw off the blanket. We masturbated the usual way that night and nothing else happened but when it came time to go to bed mom picked me up and took me, still bare naked to bed. I was too sleepy to really ask any questions but I did notice she was looking at me.

The next day during the day (it was a weekend) she sat me down and gave me The Talk about how I was developing into a young woman and about starting my period and all that. I kind of already knew all this from health class in school and it was weirdly embarrassing to hear mom talk about it. I mean, we had been masturbating together almost every evening for a long time, but we didn’t talk about sex or sexual things.

I was about as far from turned on as I could be during the talk and I could tell it was pretty awkward for mom too. She didn’t talk about masturbation at all, just about growing hair and breasts, and menstruation, and how important it was to use condoms if I ever did anything with a boy, and stuff like that, all things I already knew about from school. It was almost like all that was completely unrelated to the stuff we were doing. I just nodded and didn’t ask any questions.

The talk really should have answered any questions I had about the body changes I was experiencing, but by that evening I again had this strange urge to show my developing body to her. I guess I was eager for her approval or something. After my bath, using the excuse that it was hot (it really was), I didn’t put on my nightgown and panties.

I was too chicken just to walk out naked but I wrapped a towel around myself and went out and sat on the stool at the kitchen counter and said I felt hot. Mom didn’t make any comments at all, just asked me if I wanted ice cream. I agreed and she gave me a bowl. I let the towel fall off my shoulders and ate the ice cream as mom switched on the TV, went over to the couch and got under the blanket.

When I finished my ice cream, I simply left the towel on the stool and walked over naked to the couch. I could see that mom was watching me avidly the whole time. I sat next to her but didn’t get under the blanket. She still didn’t say anything, or try to put the blanket over me, but just put her arm around my shoulder.

We watched the movie in silence. It felt really strange; I really wanted mom to look at me, to say something about my body, maybe even to touch me, but her eyes seemed to be glued to the screen. About half way through the movie, to my great shock, she said she was tired and was going to bed, and I could keep watching if I wanted. Of course I had no interest in the movie; I hadn’t even been following it. I was just shattered, sure I had done something wrong. It was the first time in ages that we hadn’t masturbated together. She went quickly to her room and I sat there, feeling like I was going to cry.

Finally, when I couldn’t stand it any more, I turned off the TV. I was going to go to my room, but something made me knock, timidly, on mom’s door. She asked “what is it, babe?” and I asked if I could come in. There was a short pause, then she said, “all right, babe.” I opened the door and went over to her bed. She was in with the covers all the way up to her neck.

“Mom,” I said, “don’t you want to cuddle?” She didn’t reply. I said “did I do something wrong?” She looked stricken, then said “Oh, babe. Come here.” She scooted over a bit and tapped the bed, indicating that I should sit down. “Babe, you’re ... you’re getting older. It’s...” She stopped. I didn’t say anything, and she sighed. “Oh, ... here, get under the covers.” She lifted the blanket, and I could see that she was completely bare.

I snuggled in next to her and, turning towards me, she put her arm around me. “Babe, ... I’m sorry. Someday you’ll understand and I hope you’ll forgive me.” “Sorry for what?” I said, uncomprehendingly. She didn’t reply, and we lay there like that for a while. I could feel tears coming to my eyes.

Finally, almost without thinking, I scooted down a little and put my face up against her breasts. She sighed deeply and held my head as I took her left nipple into my mouth. I lay there suckling as she just breathed, in and out, stroking my hair, and murmuring “babe, ... babe...” It went on for what seemed like forever, but eventually I could tell from the rhythmic movements and her breathing that she had her other hand between her legs and was touching herself. I put my hand down there too, but didn’t stop suckling.

After about five minutes her breathing got ragged and she held me tight as she had an orgasm. She pulled my head away from her breast, rolled onto her back, and lay there, staring at the ceiling. I was frightened and didn’t know what to do. I’d never seen her do this. Usually after she had an orgasm she’d cuddle me for a while then put me to bed.

Finally, I said, “Mom, what’s wrong?” She didn’t answer, which scared me even more. I’d had lost any urge to touch myself; I just wanted mom to stop acting weird and go back to cuddling me the way she used to.

After an eternity, mom said, “here, I’ll take you to bed.” I didn’t protest, but let her get out of bed and pick me up, even though I was getting way too big for that. We must have looked pretty funny, mom, butt-naked, carrying me, also naked, to my bed.

When we got there, she plonked me down and tucked me in, then made to leave. I said, “Mom? Can you stay a little?” She looked hesitant, then sighed and said, “All right, babe.” There wasn’t really room in my bed for both of us so she kind of sat on the edge, stroking my hair. I looked at her body, thinking “I’ll look just like that some day soon.”

I kind of pushed down the blanket so my tummy and breasts were exposed and took mom’s other hand and put it on my tummy. She began to stroke me, like she always did, first just on my tummy and then moving up to my breasts, and I put up my hand between my legs under the blanket and began to rub. Mom kept stroking my breasts, drawing little circles around my nipples with her finger, and soon I began to squirm around as I felt the good feeling approaching.

As I got close she suddenly leaned down and kissed my breasts and I had the sudden crazy idea that she would try to suckle them as I had her, but she sat up again and said “Babe, ... babe...” as I rubbed myself harder and harder trying to get there. Finally I could feel it coming and started to groan a little and mom reached down to kiss my breasts again. She took my right nipple into her mouth and played with it a little with her tongue and as she did that I had my orgasm.

After that, things mostly went back to “normal” again, except that unlike before, mom would never, ever just start masturbating in front of me. Instead she always waited for me to start things. We’d be snuggled on the couch and I’d start touching myself, then I’d grab her hand and put it on my tummy, and she’d know that I wanted her to help me and she’d start playing with my tummy and breasts with one hand, and masturbating with the other, and we’d try our best to reach orgasm at the same time.

I was really curious about her body. She’d always wear a nightgown in the evening, but usually she would let me lift it up or take it off her completely. Even before we’d start masturbating, I liked to look at her body and I would often push the blanket down so her crotch was visible and just sit there watching. Once or twice I tried to touch her down there but she always said “no, babe,” and gently took my hand away. She’d let me play with her breasts, though, and of course if I bent down and took her nipple in my mouth she’d always let me suckle and usually would masturbate while I did.

Once I got my period and really started to grow up we kind of tapered off a bit. I was beginning to realize that what we were doing was definitely not normal and while I liked it, at the same time I felt kind of weird about initiating it, and mom would never start anything unless I initiated. I was also getting crushes on classmates and I liked to masturbate by myself while I was thinking about the boys - and girls - that I had crushes on.

Sometimes I’d even get so aroused in school, especially after seeing other girls in the showers after gym that I’d worry everyone could smell it and I’d have to go to a bathroom stall to masturbate. Or I’d go into my room right after school, get undressed, and bring myself off on the bed. Usually if I’d already masturbated that day that was enough for me and I wouldn’t start anything with mom, though we’d still often snuggle and watch TV in the evening.

It also happened sometimes that I really wanted to masturbate in the evening but not touch or be touched by mom for some reason or another - usually because I was fantasizing about a boy from school and wanted to imagine him making love to me. I’d discovered that I could have a very different kind of orgasm by carefully putting a finger or, as I eventually tried, a hairbrush handle in, and thinking about a boy penetrating me. Sometimes those got very intense and I’d even pee a little when I came.

I usually waited until I was in bed to do that, but once we were watching a sexy movie with an actor who looked a lot like my crush at the time and I got so excited that I couldn’t resist and started fingering myself there on the couch. Mom could tell I was doing it even though I was under the blanket but she didn’t try to join in because I hadn’t touched her. It excited me though to be doing this in front of her because up to that point I’d kept that particular kind of masturbation to myself.

As I got more and more into it I kicked the blanket off so she could see what I was doing. She stopped watching the TV and watched me instead, which just made me more excited, and when I finally came (with two fingers deep inside) it got very wet and I peed all over the couch, more than had ever come out before. Right afterwards I was terribly embarrassed, but mom was very nice about it. She didn’t even say anything but smiled, then went to get a towel to wipe the mess up.

Fortunately the couch was leather so it wasn’t too bad. I just sat there feeling a bit miserable but after she finished cleaning up she kissed me on the forehead and said “sometimes that happens to me too.” That made me feel a lot better, but I didn’t try masturbating with my fingers inside next to her again.

A friend of mine (who I most definitely had a crush on) told me she used an electric toothbrush to get off, and I tried that. The orgasm felt very different but very intense, though it took a long time to get there if I didn’t do anything else, and I think got a little addicted to it. I started coming home from school and masturbating with it first thing. If I pushed hard against my clit with the vibrating back of the toothbrush while I put a finger in, I’d always come very hard and wet; I learned to put a towel under me before I started!

Mom must have heard the buzzing and figured out I was using my toothbrush, because one day when I got home from school there was a nicely wrapped package on my bed. It was a battery-powered vibrator, and it was way better than the toothbrush. After I’d reached a gasping orgasm in record time, I went out to the kitchen, kissed mom and thanked her. She just smiled and said “glad you like it, babe.”