Chapter 79: Boredom and Excitement

February 10, 1988, McKinley, Ohio

On Wednesday, I met Tami for lunch in the cafeteria.

“You handled that girl on Monday really well,” she said when we sat down with our food. “I was afraid she might not talk to you.”

“I’ve found that a bit of humor, especially if it’s mildly self-deprecating, puts patients at ease. That said, I teach Young Adult Sunday School when my schedule allows and I’ve done that for the past five years. I relate really well to the fifteen to twenty-two age group.”

“You’re what, twenty-four?”

“I turned twenty-five on the 2nd,” I replied.

“Happy belated birthday!”

“Thanks.”

“Have you done that before?”

“Turned twenty-five? No! First time!”

Tami laughed, “Leah was right, you are a goofball! I meant an assessment?”

“Oh,” I chuckled. “I haven’t, but I’ve done histories and physicals, so I know how to develop rapport. The big challenge was the assessment form, because despite being an OD, it wasn’t an OD. Questions like ‘how does taking the drug make you feel’ or ‘when did you start taking more than prescribed’ or whatever, simply made no sense at all, so I winged it to make sure it wasn’t some kind of weird, veiled suicide attempt.”

“Suicide by birth control pills?”

“I suspect if you took three months’ worth, it could induce all kinds of systemic problems, any of which might kill you. Anything in sufficient quantity, including water, can be toxic.”

“I read about that in our nursing textbooks! You throw your electrolytes so far out of balance that you can have a heart attack.”

“Exactly.”

“What time does your shift end?”

“4:00pm.”

“Mine ends at 5:00pm. Want to have dinner?”

“I have the proverbial childcare problem. I suspect Lara could stay, but I’d have to call home to check. Well, unless you wanted to order a pizza and meet my daughter.”

“Pizza sounds good! If you tell me a place that does carryout, I can pick up the pizza on my way to your place.”

I gave her the number of my usual place, which did carryout and delivery, but had no seats. I also wrote out my address and directions to both the pizza place and my house.

“Pepperoni, mushrooms, and cheese OK?” she asked.

“Fine with me. Just no pineapple!”

“That’s just gross, so don’t worry!”

We chatted while we ate, and when we finished, she confirmed she’d be at the house around 5:30pm with the pizza. I went up to the lounge and called home to let Lara know I wouldn’t need dinner.

“I know your next campaign,” Clarissa said when I saw her in the lounge after lunch.

“What?”

“Get rid of the required psych rotation! Or change it so we can be involved in actual counseling! I am bored out of my skull!”

“Me, too, and I get to do more than you do! I’m not sure if that can change because I’m pretty sure it’s part of the standard training, and you know that medical schools can’t really unilaterally change things any more than Residency programs can. Sure, they can add things, but not take away.”

“You’re probably right. Fran and Peter both said the same thing when I mentioned it to them, and they were as bored as I am when they did their psych rotations. And to think you wanted to do two of these.”

“An error in my thinking caused by my emotional response to Angie’s illness.”

“Did Doctor Mercer call you back?”

“No. I suspect she will by the end of the week, and then when I don’t call her back, she’ll ask Lara if there’s a problem, and Lara will say that she’s given me the messages. As I said, I expect her to call here at some point, and I’ll say what Stefan suggested.”

“You think she’s going to try to talk you into supporting her position?”

“I have no idea,” I replied. “So long as Stefan believes there’s a chance to get Angie away from the quack, I’ll follow his program to the letter. That worked for me with Mr. Winston despite all the crap that Doctor Orosco, Janice Parker, and Melissa Bush caused over the years. As I promised him, I’ll stick to medicine and let the lawyers do their thing.”

“What do you think the best potential outcome is?” Clarissa asked.

“I would be happy just to return to the status quo ante, but I doubt that’s possible. I’m hoping low enough dosages that she’ll be able to continue working and be able to participate in martial arts. I suspect school is out of the question unless she can come off the psychoactive drugs completely.”

“What about Doctor Mercer continuing to work with her?”

“With the right psychiatrist, I think that would probably be OK, but it’ll be up to Mrs. Stephens and Doctor Hoffman, assuming Stefan wins the case.”

“Who’s paying, if I can ask?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Stephens, but my mom said Stefan greatly reduced the fees given my relationship with Angie and how offended he is by what happened.”

“It is offensive,” Clarissa stated firmly.

“Which is why it’s my life’s mission to have that quack’s license revoked! As soon as this is resolved, I’ll make a formal complaint to the medical licensing board. And I’ll use everything I can put at my disposal to try to make it stick, including going to the Press if Mrs. Stephens is OK with it.”

“Remind me not to be your enemy, Petrovich!”

“He’s not the enemy,” I replied. “He’s guilty of malpractice and needs to be held accountable.”

“OK, remind me not to do something of which you don’t approve!”

“It would have to be pretty extreme, Lissa, and I can’t even imagine what it might be, given we see eye-to-eye on just about everything.”

“True.”

The afternoon was routine, and at 4:00pm I headed home.

“Another potential dark horse?” Lara asked as I changed clothes.

I shrugged, “She’s obviously interested, but meeting Rachel is kind of where the rubber meets the road.”

“Or meets the nursing student pussy!” Lara teased.

“I think I need to borrow the flogger you bought to use on YOU!”

Lara laughed softly, “You know I’m just teasing.”

“I do,” I replied.

“May I make a comment, not about a specific girl, but about the situation in general?”

“You may.”

“With complete respect for Maryam and her advice, I don’t think there’s a need to wait until September to decide.”

“You know how the end of August is going to be,” I countered.

“And I’m taking the contrary position and saying that you will be better off deciding before then, if you can, so you have your future wife at your side to help you through it. I think that would make your bond stronger and help keep you from going off the rails. I don’t think that will happen, but it is a risk.”

“I’m not sure I know any of the girls well enough to ask today, except perhaps Maryam, and she’s the one who said I’m not allowed to ask until after Rachel’s birthday.”

Lara shook her head, “For a brilliant guy when it comes to medicine, you can be a complete doofus at times! If you asked Maryam to go to bed with you tomorrow, she would. That’s what she means by ‘second kiss’! She’s not going to turn you down because you ask before September.”

“I suspect you’re right about that,” I replied.

“With regard to the others, well, make yourself a list of the qualities you want, including however you define Rachel’s needs, and compare the girls. Figure out which one best meets your needs and is most compatible, then decide. Heck, include your nursing student if you want. She’s Orthodox, so she’s already passed that hurdle.”

“I guess it really does come down to that, even if I do it in my head.”

“Obviously, because that’s how you’ve been thinking from day one. You aren’t going to fall in love with one of them, and even if you did, you’d discount it if you felt she was an inferior choice with regard to Rachel. And I don’t mean just a shade of difference, but a big one.”

“True.”

“And,” Lara smirked, “if you want to be a complete pig, you could even include sexual compatibility!”

“I could never do that to Maryam,” I replied. “For her, it would be an unequivocal, inviolable commitment. And I don’t disagree with her stand on that. I suspect, but don’t know for sure, that Dani is of the same opinion.”

“And the other two?” Lara asked.

“Were Elizaveta’s friends,” I smirked.

Lara laughed, “Nice. Your pussy cat, unknowingly, encouraged her friends to sleep with you by telling them how satisfied she was, even if she was sufficiently discreet about the details. You don’t have to answer...”

“No, because I feel it would imply a commitment I’m not ready to make.”

“What do you think about my advice?”

“I think I need to think about it. It makes sense, and there’s no reason we couldn’t wait for the betrothal and crowning until September, or even later. I don’t need ecclesiastical approval, and Father Nicholas could only try to discourage me, not prevent a crowning ceremony. You do realize you’re working against your own interests, right?”

Lara smiled, “I’ll give up a few months of awesome sex with you to see you happily married. That’s how much I love you, Mike.”

I took her in my arms, we exchanged a soft kiss, and then I walked her to the front door where she put on her hat, coat, and gloves. I stood on the porch until she had driven away, then set out plates, a pizza cutter, and glasses for drinks. I still had time before Tami arrived, and Rachel was still sleeping, so I got my guitar and began going through the playlist for our Friday gig at Stirred Not Shaken.

Tami arrived before I finished my run through, so I put my guitar down to answer the door. I invited her in and we went to the kitchen.

“Rachel is sleeping,” I said. “She’ll be awake in about thirty minutes, so we’ll be able to finish our pizza.”

“Cool.”

I checked with Tami, then got two cans of Sprite from the fridge, poured them into the glasses, then sat down and prayed the blessing. Once I finished, we each took a slice of pizza and started eating.

“I think I mentioned earlier that I’m usually in bed by 8:00pm, because my shift starts at 4:00am. Subdeacon Mark and his wife Alyssa will be here around 7:30pm so they can care for Rachel overnight.”

“How long does she sleep?”

“About seven hours, but her last feeding is at 10:00pm, which is why my friends are here then, and it also means they don’t have to arrive at 3:30am. You’re driving back to Columbus?”

“South Bloomfield. It’s only about a thirty-five-minute drive north from the hospital. That’s why I can do my practical training here without moving. Was that a backhanded question about whether I’m spending the night?”

I smiled, “I was actually curious if you drove back and forth every shift or stayed with a friend.”

“I’m not sure if I should be pleased or offended!”

“You have to be pleased,” I replied with a silly grin. “Because being offended would mean that you assumed the same thing about me that would have offended you if I assumed it about you!”

“Deft thinking!”

“One thing a trauma doc has to be is quick-thinking.”

“And be a goofball?”

“That helps! You haven’t seen me with kids. There I resort to outright bribery with candy!”

“You’re going to be the most popular doc in the ER! Some of the docs are WAY too uptight, and some of them just can’t deal with kids.”

“Bedside manner isn’t in the top five criteria for trauma or surgery.”

“What’s the most important?”

“Totally cool under fire and able to function under extreme stress.”

“I have to ask, but how the heck can you manage medical school and being a single dad?”

“Only because I have amazing friends and my wife and I chose the perfect godparents for Rachel.”

“Do you get to go out?”

“I do. Sometimes Rachel comes along on dates, sometimes she stays with my in-laws.”

“You take your infant daughter on dates?” Tami asked, sounding astonished.

“It certainly ensures that the girl is interested.”

“Interested?”

“We come as a matched set,” I replied. “I wouldn’t get serious with someone who couldn’t handle being around Rachel pretty much all the time they’re with me.”

“That has to cramp your style!”

“She’s a chick magnet,” I chuckled. “But I wasn’t kidding about being a matched set. My turn for a question.”

“Shoot.”

“What were you thinking when you asked Julia if I was ‘spoken for’.”

“I didn’t use those words! What am I? My grandmother?”

I chuckled, “Sorry.”

“I asked because my aunt warned me that doctors lie all the time, and it was safer to assume that was true about medical students, too. I figured it was better to make sure you weren’t seeing anyone, and that’s when I found out about what happened to your wife. I get the impression that you’re not interested in just casually dating.”

“Not really,” I replied.

“It’s only been six months,” Tami said.

I nodded, “I know. When I moved past the initial overwhelming grief, the first thought I had was that Rachel needed a mom. No disrespect to Elizaveta, but I can’t see raising a daughter without a mom, which means a wife. I’m still working through my emotions, so it’s not happening tomorrow. That said, it’s also not years away.”

“Talk about cutting to the chase! That’s a heck of a thing to lead with on the first date!”

“I don’t want to mislead anyone.”

“I get it, but still! I’m sitting here on a first date and the only thing going through my mind is that you’re considering if I’m a girl you would marry!”

“But isn’t that the point of dating, even if it’s not expressly stated? OK, sure, not a casual pickup at a bar, or whatever, but if you ask someone out, don’t all roads lead to Rome?”

“Me asking you to have coffee is the first step to marriage?”

“No, but that’s where the road leads. You don’t have to follow it to the end, obviously, but if your plan is to eventually marry, doesn’t it always start with a first date?”

Actually, I thought, it could also start with a proposal, as it had with Elizaveta.

“Yes, it does, but saying it out loud changes things, don’t you think?”

“It does, which, of course, is why I said it.”

“I’m not even sure how to respond.”

“So, eat your pizza, meet Rachel, and take some time to think about whether it’s something you want to explore. Contrary to your teasing earlier, you didn’t come here with the intention of fooling around. It may well have crossed your mind, but it’s not why you’re here.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“Sure enough to say it out loud.”

“And you think I’m a potential mom and wife?”

“Determining that would be the point of the exercise. Well, unless I’m completely off-base about why you came here tonight.”

“Given the alternatives, I might have to reconsider. Maybe a roll in the hay is the better option!”

“I hope you aren’t upset,” I said apologetically.

“No, just out of sorts. I’ve never been interested in a guy with a kid.”

“You didn’t know I had a daughter when you became interested, right?”

“Correct. The story kind of threw me for a loop. And now I feel as if I’ve walked into the Twilight Zone or into a Candid Camera episode.”

“And that’s why, all things being equal, you should take some time to think about whether or not you can handle dating a single dad who is, to be direct, actively looking to marry relatively soon.”

“I assume you realize how crazy that sounds from where I’m sitting, right?”

“I do. It’s only slightly less crazy from where I’m sitting. I also know it’s going to raise some eyebrows because it’s been less than six months, and I’m already considering remarriage, but it won’t actually surprise anyone because I was honest with Bishop JOHN about why I wanted to be laicized.”

“That rule just seems wrong in your case.”

“I don’t disagree,” I replied. “But it would create a potential scandal and think about how it would look for a deacon or priest to be dating someone in their congregation? Or even in another one.”

“I can see that,” Tami said, “but is that enough reason to force you to live as a single dad forever?”

“There are probably more people who agree with you than who don’t, but it has the potential to rip the parish or the diocese apart because it would require extreme «ekonomia». It was, in the end, better to simply ask to be returned to the order of the laity and move on with being a dad and medical student, and, soon enough, a husband.”

“From the way you’re talking, it sounds as if you have someone in mind.”

“My grandmother and one of her friends have politely indicated a young woman they think I should marry.”

Tami laughed, “‘Politely’! Right!”

“Both women were very polite,” I replied. “But also quite adamant that they’re right. My wife’s best friend, who is also Rachel’s godmother, has a different idea, and wants to keep it in their circle of friends. She got on my case for having a few dates with a non-Orthodox girl, but that young woman couldn’t handle the idea of being a mom.”

“I’m not sure I could! I mean, sure, I plan to, eventually, obviously, but I just turned twenty and have about sixteen months left for my practical training. I’m not even sure how that would work.”

“A mix of daycare at the hospital, friends, and probably a nanny, at some point, if I marry a woman with immediate career plans. Have you thought about what you would do when the time comes?”

“My aunt and I discussed it, and I’ve discussed it with my cousins, and the challenge is that for the first few years, you have no control at all over your schedule, and taking time off to have a baby hurts your career. I guess it’s worse for women doctors than nurses, though.”

“That’s the impression I have as well.”

“Did your wife work?”

“No. She was planning to be a stay-at-home mom. She graduated last May and Rachel was born in August.”

“What did she study in college?”

“Graduated High School,” I replied.

“Hang on! You married a girl in High School?! When you were in medical school?!”

“Technically, I had just graduated from Taft and Elizaveta had just finished her Sophomore year.”

“SHE WAS SIXTEEN?!” Tami gasped.

“Yes. When the bishop let it be known he wanted to ordain me, Elizaveta took the bull by the horns, approached me, proposed, then demanded I marry her.”