Chapter 4

Summer had arrived and my little girl was coming to visit. I hadn’t seen her in almost a year and she was going to spend a whole month with me. This was going to be great in some ways, but a real pain in the ass in others. My hero rewards system had to be told that I was off the radar for a month and I got back a lot of pouts but also a lot of love.

Ellen arrived at the airport and I was seriously blown away. When I had last seen her she was my little girl from head to toe, Jeans and t shirts all the way. This person was something altogether different. Her long brown hair was cut shoulder length and dyed electric blue. She was wearing a t shirt but it only came down about two inches below her seemingly unrestrained breasts. And to top it all off her jeans were now denim cut offs that were seriously cut off.

I waved to her and she waved to me and walked over. When I threw my arms wide for a hug but she went for an offside one arm hug. “Hey dad, how’ve you been doing?” No I love you, no I missed you. Just a polite version of how’s it hanging. We went and got her bags and headed out to the car. I commented about her style change she got very defensive very fast. “Oh man, I knew this was coming. Dad I am growing up and this is who I am ok?” I kept quiet and the drive home was the same. When we got there she grabbed her bags and headed in without a word.

I took her to dinner later and no matter what I did to start a conversation she routed it. When we got back to the house I gave up. I had to realize that somewhere along the road I had lost my little girl. The next morning I got up, and was thinking about calling her mother and sending her back. I mean sitting around my house for a month with a sullen teen wasn’t my idea of having a nice summer.

I headed off to work after telling her when I should be back from work and leaving her some money in case she wanted to go to the mall or anything. When I got to work I got a text from Anny. She wanted to know if Ellen was home and I told I wasn’t sure. A few minutes later my cell rang and it was Anny. “So tell me what’s up?” I told her about how the visit was going so far and she told me to hold off on any calls till she had a chance to talk to Ellen and see what was going on. I told her I loved her and trusted her to look into things for me.

I worked my day away and decided to grab some stuff at the store for dinner. When I got home there was no one around. I walked through the house and decided maybe Anny had gotten her out of the house to talk. I put up everything and started on dinner. About an hour later Ellen came back, still barely dressed and looking slightly mussed. She saw me and nodded at me as she went to her room. Later after a shower she came in, sat down to eat and avoided every attempt I made to have a conversation.

After dinner she went into her room and locked me out by listening to her IPod. I was at a loss till my phone went off and I found a text from Anny telling me to meet her in the back yard. When I got there Anny had a look I didn’t like.

I walked over to the fence and she looked anywhere but at me. “Alrighty then, from that look I can tell things are just as bad as I thought.” Even in the bad light I could see the pain in Anny’s face. “Dave I am going to tell you things but you have to promise to trust me to help with this. I have some things to tell you that will make you want to run in the house and go crazy but you have to stay cool or it will only get worse.”

I took a deep breath and promised her I would keep calm for her. “Ok, I came over after we got off the phone and was kinda freaked out by the changes as much as you probably were. She was happy to see me and we started talking. I told her I liked the new look and she said she was exploring some new ideas for her life, whatever that means. She told me that her mom and step dad were doing their “own thing” and told her to find out who she was.” She shook her head.

“In teen that means her mom and step dad were doing their “own thing” and leaving her alone to fend for herself. So she has been left alone and started doing anything she could to get some attention. And when I mean anything I mean anything.” She looked at me and while I may have started twitching I kept my cool. “Well she wanted to go out and we headed to the mall. The first thing she asked me was if I knew where to get some weed.” She looked at me and knew I was working hard to keep it together.

“When I tried to talk her out of it she said I was still a baby and blew me off. I looked around and found her about twenty minutes later talking to some guys who work the mall selling drugs and other things. I knew if I didn’t do something she was going to get into a bigger mess than she knew. So I walked up and told her to come with me, and that I knew a better place to get what she wanted cheaper.” “Thanks Anny” Sjhe looked upset. “Don’t thank me just yet. I took her to meet a guy I know who deals. He’s not a great guy, but at least he wouldn’t get her a little high and then slip her something harder and then make some money pimping her out.” I shook my head at the thought of where my girl might have ended up if it hadn’t been for Anny.

“Well anyway, we got her some weed and then took off to an area where she could get a high on without any freaks around. The more ripped she got the more she talked about what had been going on in her life. We joked around about life and she let it out that she and her step dad have been having sex for the better part of a year now. He also supplies her with drugs and she sometimes gets into group things with some of his friends.”

Anny jumped out of her skin when I cracked one of the boards in the fence with my fist. “Don’t worry I just had to do something to relieve the anger. Now go ahead I’ll keep it cool. Well I’ll try to at least.” Anny took a few breaths. “After she told me that I talked to her about how her mom felt about it and she said her mom was too busy doing the same thing she was doing, just with different people at different times. I asked what she was planning on doing for the rest of her time here with you.”

Anny looked into my eyes and I knew the worst was coming. “She told me that as long as she had to be here she wasn’t going to cut you any slack. She said that if you had loved her you would have fought harder to keep her here. She seems to blame you for everything that has happened to her since she was here last.”

I looked back on everything that happened when she was here last time. I remembered she had talked about how much she missed living with me and wished that she could move back home. So she had reached out to me, I just hadn’t realized it. I told her that her mom had custody and that I was only allowed visitation once a year because of the distance.

I nodded slowly. “So, she blames me for all the shit her mom has done, and you know maybe she’s right. It’s just that when we divorced she said she wanted to be with her mom and her new husband. I didn’t fight it too hard because I wanted her to be happy.”

“Well as you keep reminding me when I get on myself for my past mistakes, stop looking at what you did and concentrate on what you are going to do.” I shrugged. “What can I do? She’s already on the path of hating me.” She reached out and stroked my hand. “What did you do when I was on the road to hating myself? You made me feel like I was worth something. You showed me what love was all about. Now I will help in any way I can, but it’s up to you to take this problem and turn it around.” She reached over the fence and pulled me into a sweet kiss.

I went back into the house and tried to think of some way to get her to talk to me. Then it hit me, while I would never use dope I could get her shit faced and see what came from it. I went into the kitchen, grabbed two glasses, a bottle of Amaretto, and headed to her bedroom. I knocked on her door and waited. I knocked again and when I still didn’t hear anything but a blaring headset I opened the door and walked in.

Ellen was sitting on her bed in a long t shirt and about jumped out of her skin. “Hey, how about a little privacy?” she yelled. “Well I figured since you weren’t being civil to me that meant I didn’t have to be civil back.” Then she saw the bottle in my hand. “What’s that for?” I held the bottle up. “Well I wanted to talk to you, and I didn’t want to get high to do it.” She looked a little defensive. “What do you mean get high” I shook my head. “Ellen, I’ll treat you like an adult if you promise not to treat me like an idiot. After you came in the door I could smell the weed from across the room.”

She blushed a little and then got more defensive. “So what if I get high. It’s not like it’s any of your business.” “You know maybe your right.” I said and I poured us both a tall drink. I handed one to Ellen and took a seat at the foot of her bed. “When I saw you get off the plane I wondered what the hell had happened to you.” I took a deep pull on my drink. “At first I thought that maybe you were going through a phase. Which is grown-up for “what did I do wrong but didn’t catch”. Then when you got mad at me when I tried to talk to you I knew you were pissed at me.”

I noticed that Ellen had taken a small sip and found she liked the flavor. Soon I reached over and refilled her glass. “I tried to think about things and couldn’t think of anything. I mean when your mom and I split you really wanted to go with her. Then the first visit we had fun but you were anxious to head back to your friends. The next time we had fun again and when you left it didn’t seem like you were as happy to go but your mom had told me you were having a hard time in school and to send you home.” I pulled at my drink again and added a little more to Ellen’s glass.

I noticed that the alcohol was starting to hit her hard. “Then this last year I tried calling you, but you hardly ever answered your phone, and when you did you gave me the brush off. When I talked to your Mom about it she told me you were just being a teenage girl and not to worry. She told me that you were at that age when you didn’t need a father figure so much and to just let you be yourself and to find yourself.”

I was shocked out of my skin when her glass just missed my head and hit the wall. “That fucking bitch.” Ellen jumped up and grabbed a book and threw it across the room. “That damm, fucking bitch.” I caught her arm as she swung it at me. With tear filled eyes she glared at me. “After I got home she told me that you had talked to her and that you weren’t “sure” about our visit. She told me, that you told her, that you were having problems with me and the way I was acting. That you weren’t sure that I was acting the way you thought I should and that I needed to be straightened out before I came back.”

I let my emotions pour out of me. “I love you, I loved you for who you were then and I love you for who you are now. I thought you knew that?” She just looked into my eyes and knew the truth. Her face crumbled and she fell into my arms. I lifted her up and then sat on the bed with her in my lap. We cried on each other for a long time mumbling things back and forth, most of which was I love you. When she was all cried out I found she was asleep. I tucked her in just like when she was little and turned out the lights.

I went to bed and lay there thinking of how many ways I could kill my ex till my eyes closed.

When I woke up in the morning I found Ellen curled up against me. I brushed the hair out of her face and just looked at my lovely daughter. I slipped out of bed and took a nature call, and then crawled back into bed. When her breathing told me she was waking up I stroked her face gently. When her eyes opened she looked at me and smiled for the first time during her visit. Then her face collapsed again and she buried her face in the pillow. I reached under her and pulled her against me. “Come here baby. It’s ok, I love you so much and I have missed you so much. I’m just glad we can be together, and this time I’m not going to make you go back.” This just seemed to make her cry harder.

“What is it sweetheart? Don’t you want to stay here?” She looked up at me and with tears streaming from her eyes. “Yes I want to stay here but I’m not sure you will want me to stay. I’m not the same person anymore. I’ve done things, bad things. I’m not your little girl anymore.” I took her chin and forced her to look at me. “You will always be my little girl. Nothing can ever change that.”

She turned away from me. With her back to me she pulled her shirt off. I was shocked to say the least. This was the first time I got to really see her without being covered. Between her shoulder blades was tattooed of a pair of wings. She turned to me and I saw that both of her nipples had small bars through them. She took a deep breath and pulled her underwear off. And just above her clit was a small black spade tattoo. I could also make out a small clit piercing.

“See dad, I am not your little girl anymore. I’ve been turned out, I am just a young whore and have done things that make me one.” I reached out and took her hand and pulled her back into bed with me. “No Ellen, you are not what they did to you.” I looked into her eyes. “I don’t care what they did, or what you were made to do or think you did. You are my daughter, and my little girl. You may not understand this, but I know what you have been through better than you might think.”

“Your mother and her husband have victimized you for their own twisted reasons. They have lied to you, and tried to twist you into what they wanted. But unless that is what you want to do, what you want to be, then you are not that. If you still want to be my little girl, if you still want to stay here with me then you will always be my little girl.”

“Dad there is nothing I want more that to be your little girl, but I have been made to be a whore. You can’t understand what that means.” I knew I had to show her before she could know how I really was. I reached out and grabbed my phone. I made the call I was dreading before she got here. “Hey there, can I talk to Alisha? Thanks. Alisha, hey sweetie, could you come up with something and get over here? My daughter needs to know some things and I think you are the one to help. Thanks.”

Ellen seemed shocked and tried to escape. “Whoa there kiddo. You aren’t the only one who has some explaining to do. In the last few months my life has been kind of turned upside down too. I just asked one of my girlfriends to come over to explain to you exactly how much I know what you have been through.” Ellen looked at me. “Girlfriends? As in plural?”

Just then I heard the backdoor close. Ellen grabbed her shirt and pulled it on just as Alisa came in the door. She was a little shocked to see a young girl in my bed pulling on a night shirt. When she looked at me she lifted her eyebrow at me. “Now don’t go getting any funny ideas. Alisa, I want you to meet my daughter Ellen.” Alisa reached out to shake Ellen’s hand. Ellen remembered her manners and shook the girl’s hand.

“Hey there Ellen, I guess you’re a little freaked out to know you dad has a girlfriend your age.” She nodded slowly.”You could say that again.” She turned to me. “So what, you cruise for young girls too, like Bob?” When Alisa saw the hurt in my face she got a little pissed. “Hey I don’t know who this Bob is but don’t you dare hurt this man. If it wasn’t for him I’d still be hooking, if my stepdad didn’t finish killing me first.” Ellen looked shocked. “What?”

Alisa sat down on the bed. “I’d been secretly hooking for a living. About four months ago my mom’s boyfriend beat me up. Dave has helped me to get better, helped me to have a better home to live in, and has shown me what it means to be loved for the first time in my life. He showed me that I was more than I thought I was. He also taught me how to love others as well.” She reached for my hand with tears in her eyes. I leaned over and we touched foreheads.

I looked at my daughter and took her hand in mine. “Can you understand now? Can you see that I am not just talking out my ass when I saw I understand what you have been through and still love you?” “Alisa, you say you were in hooking. I want to show you some things and then ask you if you think my dad can still love me.” Once again she disrobed and let Alisa see her body modifications.

“Oh hell girl, what the fuck have they done to you?” Alisa turned to me. “If you think I was fucked over you have no idea what has been done to your little girl” then she turned to Ellen. “And to you, Yes I know in my heart that Dave can and will keep loving you. Though I don’t know how long you will have him around. Knowing this crazy bastard like I do once we tell him what all that means he’s gonna get a gun and take some motherfuckers lives.”

This made me interested in what it all meant. When Alisa looked at me she knew she was going to have to explain it all to me. “Dave you are gonna have to keep icy about this. Remember I need you, the girls need you, and most of all this girl is really gonna need you.” I promised I would stay calm. I also knew it was bad when Alisa began to speak gutter.

“Ok, the wings means she can take you to heaven. That means she’s been taught how to do anything any way a john wants. The spade tat means she’s been owned by some black club long enough to be marked.” She then asked if she had any that weren’t visible. Ellen nodded and lay back spreading her legs. There on the inside of her thigh, close to her sex was a strange mark. “That one means she has been loaned out to a local biker gang.” She looked at Ellen. “Let me guess, it was those animal that did the piercings?” Ellen only nodded.

While I tried to let Ellen have some sense of dignity I also noticed that her labia were stretched and dark, a sign that she has seen a lot of violent sex. I know I made a promise but this sure made it hard for me to keep calm. I looked into my daughters face and I couldn’t stop the tears. I pulled myself up next to her gathered her in my arms and cried uncontrollably. I lost any sense of reality except for the pain inside of me.

(From a different view)

Alisa sat there looking at the two of them. She knew Dave was the most loving man she had ever known. And this proved it to her. His own daughter had been used as a whore far beyond anything she had ever seen and now he was laying next to her crying and blubbering about how sorry he was. How it was all his fault. It was more than she could take. Tears started leaking down her face but they were hot tears, burning streaks across her cheeks. This was the man who had taken her and the others in, protected them, and helped them. This man and his daughter didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. Some motherfucker was going to pay and pay dearly.