Chapter 2

Two weeks later I finally felt brave enough to ask Ben to come over, I was so nervous, I felt sick. He came straight over after school one afternoon, my Dad was at work, my Mum had told my brother and sister to go to friends houses and she stayed out the way to give us some privacy. I could see the shock on his face when he saw me, I hadn’t told him about them accidentally amputating the wrong leg, I just couldn’t do it over the phone or FaceTime. I had on a pair blue sweatpants that Mum had adapted so that my body was enclosed in them and a white oversized hoody, I also had a pink bandana on my head, although my hair and started growing back, it was very short and thin so I preferred to keep it hidden, and it kept my head warm. My Mum let Ben into the house and showed him into the lounge where I was sitting waiting for him on the sofa.

‘Oh my god Haylee, what happened.’ He sounded shocked as he paused at the door for a moment before quickly crossing the room, sitting next to me and taking my hands.

‘The surgeon amputated the wrong leg.’

‘Holy shit, how the fuck does something like that happen?’

‘I don’t know, the hospital is investigating.’

‘You should sue them.’

‘We’re going too, Dad has already spoken to a solicitor, now please, just cuddle me.’ He leaned over, wrapped his arms around me tight and pulled me toward him as I wrapped my arms around him tight. I buried my head onto his shoulder and started to cry, he held me tighter and started to cry too.

‘Can I lift you onto my lap?’ He whispered.

‘Yes. Please yes.’ I whispered back. He easily lifted me up, sat me on his lap leaning against his chest and we held each other tight for what seemed like an eternity. We finally relaxed our hold on each other and Ben sat me back on the sofa.

‘Sorry I had to ask if I could lift you, I just wasn’t sure what I could do.’

‘It’s ok, this is going to take some getting used too, for all of us.’

‘Does it hurt?’

‘What?’

‘Your legs ... sorry, hips, where your legs were attached, I mean ... oh I don’t know, I’m sorry.’ He said putting his had on his head.

‘Ben, Ben, it’s ok.’ I said pulling his hand away from his head. ‘This is a massive shock to you, I know that. Don’t worry about offending me, you can say and ask what you like, don’t be scared about saying the wrong thing, please.’

‘Ok, sorry.’

‘Stop apologising, and they’re called stumps.’

‘What are?’

‘Where my legs were attached to my hips, they’re called stumps.’

‘Ok, do your stumps hurt?’

‘They did, not so much now, I still need painkillers most days though.’

‘Can you move them at all?’

‘No, nothing left to move, they removed the entire leg and hip joints on both sides.’

‘Wow, does it feel like your legs are still there?’

‘Yeah, all the time, they call it phantom pain and it sucks. Sometimes it feels like my leg is stuck and I just can’t move it, other times it’s like a cramp, sometimes an itch that can’t be itched. I’ve got medications to take when it gets really bad.’

‘Erm, how does it look?’

‘I don’t know, I’ve been too scared to look.’

‘Oh.’

‘Maybe ... maybe, would you like to look with me?’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I’m going to have to look properly sooner or later, I can’t just keep washing with a bowl of hot water and a flannel and ignoring my lower half, and I’d much rather you be with me when I do it than doing it on my own or having my Mum with me.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’ I nodded to make my point. ‘Let’s go to my room.’

‘Ok, do you need me to lift you into your chair?’

‘No thanks, I can manage.’ I slid myself onto the floor and slowly made my way to the stairs by putting my hands in front of me, swinging my bum between them, then doing the same again, over and over. Ben watched for a few moments then caught me up.

‘We’re going to my room Mum.’ I called as I got to the bottom of the stairs.

‘Ok, do you need any help?’ She called from her office.

‘No, it’s ok, Ben can do it.’

‘Ok.’

‘I haven’t been brave enough to try steps yet so I need your help with this bit.’

‘Sure, what do you need me to do?’

‘Pick me up and carry me.’

‘Sure.’ He bent forward, put his hands under my arms, lifted me up and held me against his chest, then started walking up the stairs before I started giggling. ‘What’s funny?’

‘You are, hold me properly, put your hand under my butt, it’s not like you haven’t touched it enough, and you can touch my boobs with your other hand instead of holding me like I’m on fire, you couldn’t get enough of them before.’

‘Sorry, Haylee.’ He said sliding one hand under my butt so that I was more secure, his other hand slid tighter around my chest so that his hand was touching the edge of my breast. I smiled at him as he carried me upstairs and into my room where he lay me on my bed, lay next to me and held my hand while we both stared at the ceiling in silence. After a while, I took a deep breath.

‘Would you look first?’

‘If that’s what you want.’

‘Yeah, please.’

‘Ok then, ready?’

‘I guess.’ Ben slid onto the floor so that he was standing at the end of my bed, he held me by my hips and slid me to the edge, then got onto his knees. He placed his fingers inside the waistband of my enclosed sweatpants and looked along my shortened body at me. I nodded my head to reassure him then took a deep breath as he slowly pulled my sweatpants off and threw them to the floor revealing my black cotton hipster knickers and my new stumps. I instinctively used my hands to cover my stumps, but Ben gently placed his hands on top of mine, slowly pulled them away and laid them by my sides. I lifted my head up and looked down to see him examining my stumps closely.

‘How do they look?’

‘Strange, I’ll be honest, they’ll take some getting used to, but they’re nothing to be ashamed of and they’re not hideous. They look like soft mounds of flesh with deep red scars along here.’ He ran his fingers along my scars at the front of my hips making me shiver. He then started feeling my stumps, pushing his fingers deep into the flesh. ‘They’re soft but kinda firm, which is weird. It kinda feels like your hips are empty.’

‘They are, they removed my hip joints with my legs.’

‘I know, it just feels ... different. How does it feel for you?’

‘Strange, it feels like you’re stroking my thighs, even though I know I don’t have thighs anymore. How long are they?’

‘They’re not at all, they’re like really short. Your hips curve out from your waist as normal.’ He said putting his hands on my waist then sliding them onto my hips, over my knickers, I then felt his hands suddenly change direction and slide along my new stumps. ‘Then they suddenly change direction, they’re almost flat and meet just here.’ He ran his finger along my pussy over my knickers again making me shiver.

‘You can take my knickers off if you want.’ I whispered, it was the first time I’d felt nervous about being naked around a guy since I was 13 and lost my virginity. Ben slid his hands back up my pelvis, hooked his fingers into the waistband of my knickers and pulled them off dropping them to the floor, he then took a good look at my pussy.

‘Wow, you look good smooth and bald.’ He said running his hand over my mons, which was still smooth and hairless from the chemo and radiotherapy. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I liked the way you had it trimmed before but this is is much nicer.’

‘I’m glad, I was worried how you’d feel about it, would you rather I shave it all off when it starts to grow back?’

‘Yeah, I’d love it, but only of you want to.’

‘Ok then.’ I replied shrugging my shoulders. Ben smiled at me before going back to examining my stumps and pussy.

‘Wow, your stumps are like the same length as your pussy lips, when you sit now your lips must touch whatever you’re sitting, also they’re open now, before they were always neatly closed, well, until we, well, you know. Now they’re parted, it’s like when they sewed up your stumps they used some skin that pulled your pussy lips over.’ He said placing his hands flat against my stumps and pussy to make his point.

‘I’d noticed that, if I sit on a hard surface it sends shivers through me, though I’m getting used to it.’

‘Do you want to see?’

‘I guess.’ Ben looked around the room and saw the large, rectangular mirror on my dresser. He stood up, walked across the room, lifted up the mirror, brought it over to the bed and held it below me. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked down at my new body. The small rise of my pubic mound juts into the air, framed by the swell of my hipbones. Beyond that, nothing. I looked into the mirror and was stunned at what I saw, first I noticed the two mounds of flesh that Ben had described, I then saw the 2 scars at the front of my pelvis, they were more or less where the crease would have been for my legs to bend forward, it looked as though they had pulled a piece of my thigh from below my buttocks around to meet the front, almost like it would have been when I had sat before with legs. The scars were an angry red but otherwise neat, I reached down with one hand and ran my fingers along them making me shiver, they felt smooth and waxy. I continued feeling around, pushing my fingers deep into the flesh as Ben had earlier. I felt my labia and my stumps finding that Ben was right about them being level. After a few minutes I dropped my hands down my side, Ben returned the mirror to my dresser then lay on the bed next to me with his legs over the edge.

‘How do you feel baby?’

‘I’m hideously deformed baby, it’s horrible, I can’t believe that’s it now, this is me for the rest of my life, I’m 15 now, I’m going to spend the next 60 to 70 years at least, with no legs, having to use a wheelchair or my hands.’ I could feel myself spinning into despair.

‘Shh, Haylee, you’re not hideous, you’re beautiful, and trust me, I still want you.’ He leaned over and started kissing me.

‘No, Ben, I’m... ‘ I said pulling away but Ben stopped me and started kissing me again, I tried to pull away but he started kissing me again, put his arm over me and rolled me onto my side, pulling me toward him. It felt weird having my pussy so open and my pelvis not move as I rolled. After a while, he stopped kissing me, rolled me onto my back and slid onto his knees on the floor. He then placed his hands on my stumps so that my pussy was between his forefingers.

‘You are beautiful Haylee and this is amazing, it’s so unique, your pussy is just right there, so open and accessible.’ He made his point by running his tongue from my perineum to my clit making me twitch and gasp, it had been so long since my last orgasm that I was really sensitive.

‘Oh wow.’

‘And, remember how you used to get into all sorts of kinky positions to get your legs out the way, well now you don’t need to, you’re perfect for sex.’

‘Well, if you put it like that. It was lucky that I was so flexible before.’ I replied now feeling horny and more relaxed.

‘You certainly were.’ Ben smiled then ran his tongue along my labia again before working it into my pussy. I could feel myself getting hot, so I awkwardly worked my hoody off so that I was in just my white cotton bra. As I got warmer I could feel my pussy getting wet, he moved his tongue to my clit and slid 2 fingers inside me. It felt amazing, it felt like my pussy was on fire, it had been so long, and I was so aroused, that I very quickly reached orgasm. I grabbed Ben’s head and pulled it into my pussy as my body shook and twitched, I could feel my face and chest flush red hot. As my orgasm peaked something happened that had never happened before, it felt like a dam broke in my pussy and suddenly I started squirting over and over, Ben let out a muffled groan in surprise but carried on attacking my pussy and clit with his tongue and fingers, prolonging my orgasm, which had now reached every part of my body. Finally, as I felt like my body would rip itself apart, my orgasm started to subside and Ben moved his face from my pussy and slid his fingers from me then climbed over me, his face was shiny from being covered in my juices.

‘Fuck Haylee, I’ve never seen anything like that, not in person anyway.’

‘Fuck Ben, it was fucking amazing, I’ve never felt anything like that.’ I breathlessly replied. ‘Now, get your cock inside me.’

‘Hell yes.’ Ben slid his jeans to around his knees while I used my elbows to move myself up the bed, he then adjusted his position and placed the tip of his cock between my labia. ‘Do you still have your coil?’

‘Yeah, but I’m probably infertile from the cancer treatment so it’s fine.’

‘Fuck, Haylee, I’m so sorry.’

‘Don’t be, it is what it is, besides, like with my legs, at least I’m alive, and now think of all the amazing, condom-free sex we can have and I have no more periods to deal with. Anyway, they froze some of my eggs so that I can have a baby later if I want to.’

‘That’s ok then.’ He replied as he slid his cock into my soaking wet pussy. I could suddenly feel pressure deep inside me.

‘Wow, you’re so deep inside me now, just be careful, you’re pushing against my cervix.’

‘Oh, sorry.’ He replied pulling his cock back a little. He started thrusting over and over, slowly building up his speed, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him toward me before we kissed passionately. My pussy felt so open and accessible as he started pounding away at me. I hadn’t really recovered from my last orgasm so quickly had another. I had to pull my lips away from his so that I could breathe. I started groaning and moaning loudly.