Chapter 10

The next few weeks I spent my spare time studying, going to the gym and hanging out with friends, then heading into school for exams, it was a really stressful few weeks and I kept getting migraines, but my family and friends helped a lot. Mum and Dad found it particularly stressful as Zack also had his A-level exams at the same time. Once school was over for Caitlyn, my parents took us to a resort in Mexico, Zack had decided that, now that he was 18 and soon heading off to university, he was too old for family holidays.

It was the first time I’d flown since my cancer and losing my legs, and I found travelling in a wheelchair was very different, I really didn’t like having to transfer into a small, narrow chair to be helped onto the plane, and not having my chair for the flight, we did fly business class though, so I was well looked after by the cabin crew, and hand-walking through the cabin to the toilet in business class wasn’t as bad as I imagined it would be in standard. When we landed in Mexico, we had to wait until everyone else had disembarked the plane before the ground staff got on to help me get off with the same type of chair they’d used at Heathrow. I was glad that they had my own wheelchair waiting for me on the bridge, I transferred over, got comfortable and followed Caitlyn and my parents down the bridge, to passport control, customs then onto baggage claim, and finally to the car rental desk.

Dad rented a big SUV which he went and collected then drove back to the terminal to save me the trouble of using the shuttle bus. I helped load our baggage into the boot, then wheeled around the side and transferred myself into the back seat, Dad then took my chair and put it in the boot while Caitlyn and Mum got in the car, Dad then got in the car and started driving. After about an hour we pulled up to an amazing looking resort with beautiful beaches and ocean views. As Dad stopped outside a concierge came over, opened the doors, unpacked our baggage and got my chair for me. We then headed inside and checked-in, while the concierge sorted out our rental car and got our baggage to our rooms while we explored the resort. It was amazing, there were beautiful, white sand beaches, the ocean was an amazing, aqua blue colour, there were multiple pools, bars and restaurants as well as a spa.

I was really looking forward to the next 2 weeks here. Caitlyn and I spent most of the time in a thong or cheeky thong bikini by the pool or on the beach, often going topless, both of us got a reasonable amount of attention from guys, even though Caitlyn was only 14, she certainly looked older. Mum and Dad went on several day trips leaving Caitlyn and I to relax, they felt I deserved some time to just chill out after the stress of my cancer, becoming disabled and exams. I went to the spa a few times with my Mum and Caitlyn, really enjoying the massages and treatments, I felt so relaxed. One afternoon I left Caitlyn talking with some other kids at the pool and headed up to our room, she and I were sharing a room to ourselves with our parents in the room next door. I found my iPad and FaceTimed Ben, who I was really missing. After we’d chatted for a while about what we’d been doing I told him I had an idea. I stripped naked and rested my iPad on the bed, he did the same so that I could see him naked on my screen. We then told each other what we’d like to do to each other while masturbating, it didn’t take long before he was shooting his cum across his bed while I shook all over and squirted over and over.

Once we’d finished I found I’d squirted all over my iPad and left a wet patch on my bedsheets. Ben and I giggled as I wiped my iPad clean, I gave him a full, final view of my body, then kissed him goodbye before getting my bikini back on and heading down to the pool again, hoping the wet patch dried by the time Caitlyn went back to the room. Each evening we would get dressed and have dinner at one of the many restaurants in the resort, eating lots of amazing food served by incredibly attentive waiters.

One evening, I’d stayed late in the bar with my parents while Caitlyn had gone up to bed around 10, Mum and Dad let me have a few drinks, but not enough to get drunk. It was gone midnight when I got back to my room, as I wheeled in I saw Caitlyn naked on the bed with her fingers buried deep in her pussy, I was about to say something but I was interested in what she would do. I moved a little, hoping she wouldn’t see me, and saw she was watching porn on her iPad with her ear buds in. She had no idea I was there and was working the two fingers in her pussy, suddenly she jerked all over, screamed out, squeezed her legs tight together and arched her back as her face went a bright red, she was obviously in the throes of an intense orgasm, her whole body spasmed through it until she suddenly relaxed and slid her fingers from her. As she recovered she looked up and saw me.

‘Holy shit!’ She squealed ripping her earbuds out and locking her iPad. ‘How long have you been there?’

‘Long enough.’ I giggled

‘Oh wow, oh my god.’ She said going red with embarrassment and putting her hand to her head.

‘It’s ok, not as embarrassing as Mum telling me that Ben and I should be quieter when we have sex, and that she hoped I was having fun.’ I said transferring onto her bed and placing my hand on her knee to reassure her, I noticed her pussy was shaved and that her vulva was still bright red.

‘When did that happen?’ She asked.

‘The first time Ben came over after I came home from the hospital.’

‘Wow, that is embarrassing.’

‘Yeah, she even said that she was young once. So this.’ I said pointing at her. ‘This isn’t so bad, I’m amazed I never got caught.’

‘You masturbate?’

‘Fuck yeah, all the time, have done since I was about 11.’

‘Even though you have sex with Ben and those other guys before?’

‘Yeah, what can I say, I’m horny and even great sex doesn’t stop me feeling like that when I’m alone.’ I said climbing back into my chair, wheeling to my bed, undressing and getting onto my bed. I decided that as Caitlyn was naked I would stay naked too, I’d not enjoyed sleeping in pyjamas.

‘Haylee, what does sex feel like?’ She asked nervously.

‘The first time it sucks, it’s uncomfortable, embarrassing and messy, you end up feeling like crap because you didn’t cum so you feel like you did something wrong. But, the more you do it, the better it feels and the better at it you become, you also realise that there is no ‘wrong’ when it comes to sex.’

‘How old were you the first time?’

‘I was 13, why’d you ask?’

‘Erm, well.’ She looked around conspiratorially. ‘I had sex with Jayden a few weeks back.’

‘Wow, how did it feel?’

‘Not great, and I felt the same as you described, but we did it a few more times since then and it felt better and better, when you cum with a guy it feels so good.’

‘Yeah, it does. Are you being careful?’

‘Wow, you sound like Mum, but yes, we use condoms.’

‘Good, but, when we get home, ask Mum to take you to get a coil fitted, or I’ll go with you, it’s a lot safer.’

‘I’d rather you take me, I’m too embarrassed to ask Mum.’

‘You shouldn’t be, she’s surprisingly chill about it actually.’

‘I’d still rather you though.’

‘Ok, I’d love too.’

‘Haylee, has a guy ever used his mouth on your ... you know, your... ‘ she said looking at my pussy.

‘My pussy? Don’t be embarrassed to say the words, and oh god yes, it feels amazing.’

‘Oh good, it really does, I came so hard, I pee’d a little.’

‘You didn’t pee, you squirted, some girls actually ejaculate fluid when they orgasm, I never used to but have done since ... well, since losing my legs, so you’re lucky.’

‘Wow, it feels so good but I was a little embarrassed.’

‘Don’t be, any guy that gets you to squirt should be proud.’

‘Thanks sis.’

‘You’re welcome, how do you feel about it, you know, having sex.’

‘I enjoy it, I don’t feel like I was pressured, if that’s what you mean, I wanted to do it.’

‘Thats ok then.’

‘I’m glad we can talk about sex now.’

‘Me too.’ We both laid down, turned off the lights and fell asleep.

The holiday was amazing and so relaxing, I felt so chilled out at the end and had a beautiful tan. The flight home was the same as the flight out, we were well looked after. I was glad we were in business class as the seats folded flat into a bed, which was so comfortable to sleep in. At Heathrow we had to wait again to disembark, this time though my chair wasn’t waiting, they put me on a buggy and drove me to passport control, then through to baggage claim, where I sat on a bench until my wheelchair finally came out with the pushchairs and oversized baggage, it was the first time in a while that I’d been made to feel so disabled and useless. Once I got my chair I followed my family out of the airport where a valet was waiting with Mum’s Discovery. We all got in and Dad drove us home, both Caitlyn and I fell asleep before we got on the M25, I was glad I’d taken my travel sickness tablets and put on my wristbands as sleeping in a car was guaranteed to make me sick otherwise. Once home I unpacked my stuff, showered and vegged in front of the TV with Caitlyn. Mid afternoon, Ben text me to ask if I wanted to meet at the park, so I headed out. When I arrived he was waiting at the gate, he kissed me and walked alongside me as I told him about my holiday and how I’d had such a good time. As we walked past a bench he sat down, so I positioned my chair opposite him and rested my hands on his knees as he put his hands on my hips.

‘Haylee, I have something to tell you.’

‘Oh.’ I took my hands from his knees and rested them on my chair, I felt my anxiety start to build and tears start forming in my eyes.

‘Haylee, while you were on holiday I got thinking, I’m really sorry, but I think we should break up.’

‘Oh.’ Was all I could manage to say as tears started streaming down my face.

‘Haylee, I’m sorry, it’s just, we’ve been together for nearly 2 years now, we’re 16, that’s a long time.’

‘No it’s not, not if we love each other.’

‘Haylee, I did love you, probably still do, but we want different things, you’re going into the sixth form and I’m going to college.’

‘So, we don’t live far apart, we can still see each other.’

‘We can’t, I’m sorry, I realised that we’ve become too comfortable with each other, you need to move on, see other people, have other experiences, we both do.’

‘Ben, I... ‘ I didn’t know what else to say. ‘I ... who’s going to date me, I have no legs, no guy will look at me.’

‘Haylee, that is so not true, you should see the guys that look at you when we’re out, and not because you’re in a wheelchair, but because you’re beautiful, not having legs and being in a wheelchair makes no difference to that, guys will see you, honestly, and if they don’t see you because of your disability then they don’t deserve you.’ I sat in silence for a few moments.

‘Was Beaux right, is this the right amount of time for you not to look like an asshole, cos trust me, right now, I think you’re an asshole.’ I said pushing his hands of my waist, my anxiety had now turned to anger.

‘Haylee, no, that’s not true at all, everything we’ve said and done before and after your cancer was genuine, I haven’t been waiting to do this at all, I only decided while you were away, while we had some time apart, I realised I didn’t miss you as much as I should, and then I realised I was holding you back.’

‘Fuck you.’ I said wheeling back from him, he grabbed my chair to stop me. ‘Let go of my chair Ben.’

‘Haylee, wait, please, don’t end it like this.’

‘No, fuck you Ben, you don’t get to tell me how I should feel and how I end this, let go!’ I shouted drawing some attention from other people. Ben paused for a moment before letting go, I wheeled out of the park and headed home as quick as I could. I cried most of the way so it took me a while as I kept having to stop to dry my eyes. I slammed the door as I wheeled through the door making Caitlyn sit up.