Chapter 45

I used the bathroom they had available, after they suggested it, and then got settled in the front of the boat. Others soon arrived, and once we had everybody the tour began. I enjoyed the comedy part of the tour, but there were several of the jokes I just didn’t get. I didn’t know if it was a universe problem, or not being British.

I was excited to see Big Ben again, only from the water. Once we looked at it, we swung around and headed out the opposite direction. RIB stands for Rigid Inflatable Boat, the guide bragged that they had 740 horsepower.

The speed wasn’t impressive until after we passed the Tower Bridge. “Stand by, everybody hold on!” was the only warning, the pilot opened up the throttle and the boat practically leapt out of the water.

The music was loud, pounding, and the experience nothing but fun. I put my arms up and enjoyed it like a roller coaster. I should have opted for the poncho, because by the time I got back after the 75 minute ride, I was delightfully soaked.

Adam had deployed under my clothes to keep me warm in the wind despite the sun and the 75 degree temp. My hair was permanently blown back, but I had nothing but a smile on my face. I opted to buy a couple photos from the tour, one showed Big Ben, and another showed the Tower of London.

It wasn’t a long walk in wet clothes, they were drying quickly in the sun. I went up to the room, and showered, changing into dinner wear. I had been warned I needed to be right on time for my dinner at 5. I dressed in posh casual, and was met with a Tesla Uber.

The gull wing doors surprised me, as I sat in the back. “Who makes the Tesla?” I asked the driver.

“Elon Musk,” was the reply.

‘Save your questions for me, Sam,’ Adam whispered in my head.

‘Isn’t Tesla a Pontiac model?’

‘Here Tesla is an all electric car company built from the ground up to be electric. It’s one of the more expensive electric vehicles available.’

‘Seriously? The Pontiac Tesla is a little cardboard box with batteries. I’ve hardly seen anything electric the entire time I’ve been here.’

‘The Shell report was classified and buried here. No one’s really done anything about climate change.’

‘But Regan went on TV with the Shell report, and made it a national emergency.’

‘It never reached him in this universe.’

‘God, how fucked are these guys?’

‘Pretty fucked. Everything the report predicted had been happening to them, and it’s only going to get worse.’

‘Regan turned the whole economy around, made America a great leader again by making the planet the priority. It was that attitude that Bush used to get a balanced budget amendment passed.’

‘In this universe a balanced budget law was passed during Clinton’s administration, but was struck down by the Supreme Court, along with a line item veto.’

‘Without the line item veto the President is just the figurehead cow catcher for Congress. He takes all the blame, but doesn’t actually have the power to do much.’

‘It’s not your universe Charlie Brown.’

‘It’s not funny, what do they do on Earth Day? They don’t replay Regan’s speech. God, I can hear his voice in my head even now, ‘There is no greater moral crisis than the destruction of your own planet, your own home, your own community. We must choose life, and liberty, as liberty without restraint, without concern for our world, is a sure death.’ Please tell me that the Republicans are doing something about it?’

‘The current Republican administration has defunded the EPA, withdrawn from a toothless voluntary climate accord, and declared that climate change isn’t real.’

‘Fucking Christmas,’ I replied.

‘Not the real problem, but I get your meaning. That’s part of why I warned you away from talking politics.’

‘Well at least I can enjoy a nice dinner.’

‘Right, so just remember, you are filling in for Peter Robinson who couldn’t make his reservation. This place has a six month waiting list.’

I rode silently in the quiet car enjoying the big luxury seats, until we arrived at the restaurant. The driver hit a button, and the gull wing door opened, and I stepped out, thanking him. I dropped him a 20 as tip, and he thanked me, and told me that he would be happy to drive me anytime.

I entered into what I was not expecting, it was some sort of music and drinks venue, the sign had said bubbledogs, I had to show ID to get in. Adam directed me to a back curtain, where a waitress took the name I had been given, checked a list, and let me through. Behind the heavy curtain was a gleaming stainless steel counter, U shaped, and wrapping around an open kitchen.

I was directed to take a seat on the end, as I was a single, and most of the reservations were for couples. There were 18 other chairs, brown leather, low backed. I settled myself, and waited. The chefs greeted me, and introduced themselves. The head chef was slightly balding, with a scruffy beard, all trimmed short, with a smile that lit his entire body when he talked food.

We started discussing where I was from, and how I lucked into my reservation spot. I was offered a drink, which I accepted. From there it was like I fell down the rabbit hole. Fourteen dishes with the most prosaic of names. I was given a dish, “Here’s the duck,” and then the chef would describe the location he personally gathered the mushrooms from, the sauce, and the tiny vegetable pickle that accompanied it.