Chapter 38: ‘01

“The party had started at 3:00 p.m. It had been going on for a couple of hours already, and the newly incorporated to the extended family, the Tucson Bonapartes, were awestruck. Valerie had given them the tour and their eyes were still as big as dinner plates. Sarah had been hanging with them for the best part of the afternoon; well, after they had made the tour. But now my Sarah had broken away and was hanging with me. Randell and Leann were sitting out on the patio with Herbert and Rein talking. Kinda odd I thought.

“So they were impressed with the digs?” I said.

“You’re kidding right. They thought that Rein and William had done them a favor and had some influence or something, but nothing like this; they had had no clue.”

“Hmm, money, and the trappings of money, it means everything to most people,” I said.

“But not you,” said Sarah.

“No,” I said.

“But you took the big bucks?” she countered.

“Yes, but mostly I did it as a favor to them, to make them feel good and, well, and to protect you in case something happens to me.”

“Huh?”

“That was their bit. They shamed me into taking the money. And well, in the end I realized they were right. We’re middle aged you and me, in fact, technically I’m a senior already. You need to be protected.”

“Chase, I...”

“Don’t, Sarah. I’m right, their right. Just go with the flow and be at ease. Okay?” She nodded.

Just then the Bonapartes interrupted our conversation.

“Chase, Sarah, we’ve been asked to stay for the next couple of nights. The Coopers want to talk to us. Mister Cooper said just got done inviting us a few minutes ago,” said Randell.

“Oh, really?” said Sarah.

“Yes, well, good,” I said. “You folks are kinda members of the extended family now. I know that’s what they are going to inform you of. So, good for you.”

“Okay?” said Leann.

“Don’t worry, Leann, it’ll be fine,” I said. “Getting used to being in the family, so to speak, will be a minor challenge, but it’s all good. Just don’t break a vase or something; it’ll likely be a thousand years old and worth a million bucks.” And I laughed.

Our talk went on for some time, but as the evening waned and the party finally came to an end, everyone was feeling pretty good overall, especially me. And then we were on the road home.

“So how do you think it went with the Bonapartes?” said Lilly. “I mean two days and two nights in the castle.” Valerie frowned.

“It’s not a castle, Lil. Herb and I are not royalty, rich yes, royalty not!” she said.

“Hmm, whatever. But really, the Bonapartes?”

“Good. They’re nice, not real sophisticated, and that’s a good thing. But overall ... good. And, hell, I wasn’t exactly all that sophisticated when I hooked up with Herbert either.”

“Rein had them checked out before any moves were made. And since they are now in-laws, as it were, and related to Chase, they are going to be in evidence more and more in spite of them residing in Tucson,” said Valerie.

“They’ve got new jobs as I understand it,” said Lilly, “courtesy of your husband.”

“Yes, He’s going to be driving trucks and she’s already working as a secretary somewhere. I don’t know where, but Rein says they’re good jobs. It’s only a slight exaggeration to say they were near starving to death. So Herb had your husband take care of things. They’re good now. The best thing is that they’re on good terms with the Benedicts. Chase told me that he was especially grateful for us helping Sarah out as far as all of that is concerned, that is, bringing the Bonapartes around. I think it all helped to solidify Chase’s membership in the family,” said Valerie.

“Well good. So you did talk to Chase.”

“Yes, at length and about a lot of things. He’s still a little down, I can tell, though he denies it. He doesn’t really trust me and worse Jillian either. He and I will be talking again, likely often about those two things. I will insist.” Lilly was nodding.

“If you need any back up, I’m here for you,” she said.

“I might,” said Val, “Yes indeed. He likes you better than me. And he does trust ‘you’, definitely an arrow in my quiver.”

And then it was a month after the party, and Valerie had closeted me at the Saguaro: Sarah was shopping which it turned out was a good thing, sort of.

“Well, my old lawyer and my old nurse have finally gotten together legally,” I said.

“Yes, and no one was more surprised that they did than me. I mean she’s sixty-two and he’s seventy,” said Valerie.

“Yes, well none of us are teenagers anymore. But I guess it was a case of the two of them needing someone home at night to relate to, to talk with. I mean, well, I don’t know what I mean,” I said.

“No, you’re right. We all need that. Me, you, our spouses, all of us. I’m just kinda surprised that neither of them were ever married before. Kinda unusual in this day and age, or any day and age,” she said.

“Yes, I agree.”

“You giving the bride away, kinda makes you Carmen’s father,” said Valerie, and she laughed.

“Hmm, funny,” I said. “And Herb and you being tagged as best man and maid of honor, what does that make the two of you!”

“Honored best friends,” she said, smirking in the saying.

“Right,” I said, scoffing at her analysis.

“So, Chase, where does that leave the two of us?” Her tone let me know that she was changing the subject. I decided to dodge her attempt.

“That leaves me barely two years older than you,” I said.

“Funny, and you damn sure know what I meant,” she said, pressing the issue.

“I don’t know Valerie. I mean we all get on good anymore. So whaddya want from me? I mean the horse is dead. Beating it is not something I’m real excited about the possibility of having any part of.”

“The horse is not dead. It just needs to be reshod. Chase, I need you in my life. Yes, we both have our beloved spouses; we do. That said, I will always have a place in my heart, a very large place, Chase, for you. But ... you?”

“I will always love you, Valerie. I will also always be mightily disappointed that you dumped me for another man, even a man as acceptable as Herbert. Those two contradictory things bug me.

“Sarah is helping me. She understands me and me her. Her husband betrayed her. But do you know, she blames herself for not being up to the job of making him happy enough for him to remain faithful. I cannot find it in me to blame myself for you abandoning me. I do blame Herbert and you, for that. But all said and done, am I wrong, was it my fault, Valerie.”

“My God no, Chase! You’re not guilty of anything; well, almost. You are guilty of taking so long about coming to an understanding of Jillian’s view of things. But apart from that...”

“Hmm, I guess. She doesn’t know me, even now. I do wish you’d kept her in the know about me. And, no I don’t know how you could have managed that over twenty-five years. But well, I just don’t know.”

“Yes, that is my fault, Chase. I own it. But I just didn’t know either. I suppose I should have made more of an effort, but again, I just didn’t know how. I still don’t. But she’s at the threshold of middle age now, so I guess the main effort has to be on her,” said Valerie.

“I suppose,” I said.

“Chase, I know you talked to Jillian. Well, she said that she talked to you. I mean naturally she would have. But, I mean she stayed over at your place. She also talked to Sarah.”

“Yes, that’s so. Mostly to Sarah, actually.”

“Well, I don’t want to be negative or anything, but she said that Sarah told her that you still don’t completely trust me. I mean after everything...”

“Hmm, trust you? I think it’s more a case that I don’t need to trust you anymore, not about anything that means anything. Valerie, it just doesn’t matter now. And there’s the counter issue,” I said.

“Huh?

“Can you really and truly say you love me anymore; I mean like in the beginning those many years ago?”

“Chase, romantically no, but otherwise yes. I mean we’ve talked about that issue any number of times. If I had to characterize my feelings for you, I see you as kind of a best friend, maybe a big brother, who I can count on to take care of me like no one else, not even Herbert, ever would. I’m so grateful to Rein and Herbert for achieving the unachievable in finding a mate for you who seems to be an actual soulmate candidate. I mean you tell me,” she said.

“Yes, I am very grateful to them too for finding her for me. And, now that you bring it up, yes, she is becoming, has become, an actual soulmate for me and me for her as well; well, I hope she sees things that way.