Chapter 12: 1978

“Happy anniversary darling,” said Herbert. He raised his glass in his unannounced toast.

“And to you my darling man,” said Valerie.

“Jillian sure loves taking care of the boys.”

“Yes, well at sixteen, girls think about babies a lot; it’s nature.”

“Yes, we’ll need to be keeping that in mind; She’s almost a technical adult.”

“I wonder how much the other man thinks about her,” she said.

“Hard to say. He won’t talk to us, so no way to really know, but probably sometimes at the least.”

“Okay then, he might just trash it, but let’s send him a letter. He’s hasn’t gotten one from us in a long time, not since he took us off his approved list. so maybe...” she said.

“Okay yes It may be wishful thinking, but maybe he’ll read it!”

“We’ll, announce the new arrivals and their names. I think, hope, that if he does read it, he might react positively to the news. We can have William ask him about it the next time he visits. I mean who knows?”

It’d been two years, since having any contact with the bad guys, but now a letter from them? For whatever reason I didn’t trash this one; they were off my list of allowed contacts, but the man was able somehow to override that little speed bump.

Well, it had been a long time. I sneered but decided to read it. I opened it.

Chase,

I know you hate me, but I’m praying that one day you might think about having mercy on me and Herbert. I realize also that it has been a long time since we connected, not since my visit that one time after missus Lutz asked you to allow me to come up a couple of years ago. But I felt I had to let you know about this. Chase I’m a mother once again, twin boys: Chase and Benedict Cooper. I hope you won’t mind us naming them after you. It’s to honor you Mister, really. Hope you will see your way clear to answer this missive.

Valerie.

Balls, she had balls. I could feel my face muscles tighten in ribbons of anger. There would be no response from me, not ever. And the names? Talk about meaningless shit! But then again, I had a thought. I smiled. I decided to answer her after all. Oh yes, this was an opportunity.

Valerie,

Yes, I hate you. You disgust me. You’re a betrayer; I will not forget what you’ve done to me, not till my dying day.

And just so there won’t be any doubt in your mind, I don’t give a damn about your family or what you name your babies.

You and the family stealer can rot in hell, as I continue to rot in here, the hell of maximum security prison—uh—for you!

Your once but no longer ever lovin’,

Chase Benedict.

She put the letter down and cried, silently cried. The man’s bitterness would never die. For perhaps the first time it was clear to her that her betrayal was really and truly an unforgiveable sin. She would continue to try and make amends for what she’d done, but her hope that she could ever be successful was all but beyond the possible.

I was beginning to think that my lawyer didn’t have any friends, and no he’d never said; it never came up. He was planning on having Thanksgiving Dinner with me and the worst of the worst criminals in the state—again! Go figure.

There were two buffet lines: one for the inmates and one for the guests. We had to share four-seat tables with our guests and with other inmates and their guests. Most of the inmates in attendance, not all, were being visited by family, even younger children—kinda unusual if not actually unheard of, especially here in max.

I’d gotten my plate first, but William had been but a couple of minutes behind me. So far, we were the only ones at our table.

“So how are you really doing,” he said, he’d already asked that when he’d arrived, but then we’d split to go to the food lines; now he wanted scientific truth. I shrugged.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ve survived yet another year.” He nodded.

“I had occasion to meet up with your ex,” he said. “She said you answered a letter she sent?”

“Oh? Yes, I answered it—candidly. But it doesn’t matter, not at all.” My man nodded, but decided to take a slight detour.

“As you know I am tasked by her husband to check in on the Lutzes since he, your ‘enemy’, has vouched for him to the parole board,” he said.

“Yeah, I guess,” I said.

“So, obviously the letter clued you that your ex had twins a few months ago, and named them after you.” He looked down. Clearly, he was afraid of pissing me off by continuing to talk about my ex.

“Yeah, it was in the letter, like I said. I read it, and she so informed me. But you would imagine that I would care about that why.” I sensed something unusual was in the offing?

“They had hoped you would think it a good thing, and maybe...”

“The two of them have for damn sure got nerve,” I said, and I was sneering.

“Chase, they see it as an olive branch to you,” he said. “The man told me that he really hopes you will join the family at some point.”

“I’ve been in here for twelve years plus, and it’s getting bad, worse than bad. And I have let them know more than once that there is no way in hell that I will ever be joining them in anything, let alone in some kind of phony family relationship,” I said.

“Okay, I was just delivering the message,” he said. I nodded; then, I started to laugh.

“William, you know damn well that I will never get anything meaningful from them as long as I live. They maybe feel guilty for fucking me over, especially her. But I will never be into helping them feel unguilty no matter how many meaningless offers they tender me.”

“Meaningless? I know for a fact that you have a bank account with twenty million in it waiting for you to get out and claim,” he said.

“I’ll tell you, again, what I’ve already told them, again; I will never take a penny from him. I’m not some whore whose favor and appreciation can be bought,” I said. “Tell him for me to shove his money up his ass; I’m not interested.

“Oh, and tell them I don’t give a shit what they name their kids. I only have one kid and she was taken away from me and you know it.”

“At the risk of having you piss in my salad, they do say you are still Jillian’s dad, no matter what,” he said.

“Your salad’s safe. But I do not for a New York minute believe them—period,” I said.

“I know he was not impressed,” said Herbert. “I read his response to Valerie’s letter. Jesus!”

“Yes, he said he was not, but I’m not sure that was actually how he felt. One thing I am sure of is that he was surprised. He tried not to show it, but he was. At that point he brought up Jillian. It’s clear to me that she is on his mind, a lot. He always mentions her, brings her up, some way, every time I visit him. If you want to make headway with him; she’s for sure gonna be the key. There is no doubt about that, not to my mind, but naming the twins after him; well, I’m not quite so sure about that.

“And something else. He seemed afraid. He’s always been kind of on edge whenever I’ve gone up there, but this time, well, more so.”

“I was really hoping that the man might have been moved, at least a little, by the naming thing,” said Valerie.

“Well, according to William, while not obviously moved by it, he sensed that Chase might actually have seen something at least interesting in it,” said Herbert.