15 Shots - Cover

15 Shots

by d_oh_7

Copyright© 2021 by d_oh_7

Essay Story: How many shots does it actually take?

Tags: Humor  

The algorithm was a bit tricky to create as I had never previously attempted anything of this nature. I am not a coder, just a simple corporate accountant, so my choice of platform on which to create the algorithm was, by default, Microsoft Excel.

Long ago I had evolved to the 365 version of Excel as I pride myself on my abilities and strive to stay at the forefront of Excel’s functionality.

I had previously done extensive reading on various factors including, but not limited to, physical characteristics, strains, lethality, spread ability, etc. These statistics served a foundational element.

I then created a table on which the users history could be recorded. Just the basics, date, time, type, and location.

It also contained a counter.

Using family as a testing population I quickly created a half dozen file versions with the requisite individual’s data.

Next I created a master sheet that served as a compiler.

Using the compiled data I created a complex IFS function that contains various Xlookups, Xmatch, and other such functions.

Consistently the result was the same.

In all locations but a few I have calculated that we will need 15 shots before we can stop wearing masks.

The exceptions being:

California 16 shots as their scientific bureaucracy always strives to lead the nation.

China is unknown as the state media says their is no problem.

 
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