In my area the coronavirus pandemic seems to finally be coming under control, with hopes that life will begin to return to normal as most people in the region get their vaccinations. There seems to be very few anti-vaxxer types here, so we are realistically hoping that at least locally we might be regaining a semblance of our normal lives.

One downside, however, is that there are a lot of us unemployed, and suddenly a lot of us actively looking for minimum wage low skilled work all at the same time, and the going is tough. I was getting near or at the end of my tether. Out of cash, rent due, cards all maxed out, and my friends were starting to avoid me. I had pretty well tapped them out for what they would lend me anyway. I was scraping up pennies for bus fare to the rare interviews I did manage to land.

I was called for an interview for what sounded like a pretty menial job babysitting people writing various kinds of tests, like professional certification exams and so on. Proctoring, it was called. To my surprise when I was finally called in, the room had four men and four women, all dressed in sharp business attire, seated around a conference table with the one open chair for me. I also noticed that there were three cameras arranged around the perimeter of the room on tripods, which I thought was a bit of overkill. But so what, who cares, I said to myself.

After the initial introductions, I remarked that there were a lot of people there for a relatively routine hire.

A plain but not unattractive woman across the table from me started things off. “We are actually looking to fill a few holes at this time, so we will be asking you a range of questions which you might find unexpected, if you are interested in being considered for other positions as well.” “Of course. But why me? And what do these other positions involve?”

“You recall that we had you fill out a psychological profile as part of your application screening. Yours turned up some results that may make you useful to us in other ways. Firstly, we are looking for loyalty, as some of what we might be using you for involves sensitive information which would require discretion. Also, we are looking for someone who can follow directions accurately and scrupulously and completely, no matter what. Do you feel you are capable of going out of your way to follow orders to the letter, regardless of whether you understand or agree with them?”

“Absolutely. If obedience is what you are looking for, I’m your man. Er, person. Any of my ( - rather few, unfortunately - ) previous employers will vouch for me. I would still be working for my last one now, if not for covid shutting them down. But I would be happy to do anything you ask of me. I really need this job; I can’t tell you.”

“Well, that all sounds very well” she said. However, as you know there are a lot of other people out there looking for work right now. Can you tell us any reason why we should hire you as opposed to any of the other perfectly qualified candidates, and what you have to offer us that someone else might not?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, except that I am really incredibly eager to please. I would do anything you want me to. I have no other obligations, and I’m willing to commit to anything you want of me.”

“Well that sounds promising” She said, seemingly with a twinkle in her eye, and lightly licking her already glossy lipstick. Then, going off on what seemed like a completely different subject, she asked “What do you think of sexual harassment in the workplace?”

I was taken aback, but thinking rapidly about what answer she wanted to hear, I said “I fully support the no tolerance policies, as they are crucial in giving assurance of safety to people in the work environment.” “But what do you feel about how they apply to you personally? Would you report it if someone in the workplace attempted to coerce you into sex by, say, holding power over your job or something like that?”

I had to think about that one for a bit. I couldn’t quite see what they were getting at, and I didn’t know just how I should respond in order to suck up to them. Finally I decided that, in the absence of any more information about what they wanted from me, I would just go ahead and be honest, knowing all the while that when it came to job interviews, honesty is usually the worst policy.

“That’s a little different. To tell you the truth, it would depend on how I felt about the person at the time. But in general I think I’d usually not resist. I like sex as much as anyone. I mean, I’m pretty open minded. I think most of the time I’d just go along with whatever they wanted. Most of the time. Depending on what they wanted, of course. I think, like most males, I personally have no great fears of being sexually harassed. And I’m not homophobic or anything like that.”

“So if a superior, for instance your boss, wanted you to do something sexual, you might well obey them?” I began to get a weird feeling about where this was going. Still, I was in a room with a mixed crowd, who were all looking at me now with great interest.

“Well like I said, it would depend on who it was and what they wanted. But sure, if I was into it, I might well go along.”

“What if your boss was a man, and he told you to suck his cock. Would you go along with that?”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at here. Like I said, it’s all hypothetical. But yes, I might well agree to suck his cock. Or whatever he told me he wanted to do to me.”

“And if that included fucking you in your ass?”

“Same thing. If I felt like it, and he was reasonably attractive, I might.”

“What if he told you that it was a condition of you keeping the job?”

“Well, I told you I really need this job. I’d probably do a lot along those lines without kicking up too much of a fuss. Why are you asking these kinds of questions? Are they even legal?”

“I don’t know” she said, obviously lying. “But as I said, we are trying to judge your psychological fit to be a member of our team. And our greatest priority is your willingness to follow orders, to a fault.”

“OK, this is getting a little weird. But just for the sake of getting on with it, can we just agree that I would be willing to carry out any legal orders, including having sex, that don’t involve breaking the law or harming anyone, and move on?”

“Well, sometimes the laws can be more than a bit nonsensical. But sure, let’s move on. Are you prepared to demonstrate your willingness to follow orders. Are you ready to be tested?”

“That’s kind of what I’m here for, right? What do you want me to do?”

“First I want you to remove your clothes.”

“Huh? Is this a requirement of the job? What is this for?”

“We told you. We are testing your willingness to follow orders, no matter where or how far they go.”

“Errr, I guess so. OK. Is down to my underwear good?”

“If that is how you interpret removing your clothes, then I guess this interview is over.”

“NO! Wait! I’ll do it. Here, I’m taking them all off! Please!” I proceeded to take off everything, until I was standing stark naked in front of all the men and women and cameras in the room. “Now, masturbate for us all until your cock is hard.”