Chapter 37: Square One

This sucked.

This really, really sucked.

More to the point, my dick WASN’T getting sucked, nor was it getting fucked, neither.

No hand jobs. No blowjobs. No titfucks. No pussy. And definitely no anal.

Nothing.

They wouldn’t even KISS me.

If Naimh couldn’t do it, neither would they.

Seriously, it hadn’t even been seventy-two hours since the BTC’s proclamation of female solidarity, and already I was on the verge of cracking. The idea of staring off into the abyss of celibacy after an incredible few months of ramming my dick into the holes of six outrageously beautiful busty bisexual cumsluts with a thing for slurping my creampies out of each other’s bodies was almost more than I could bear. And that Little Mermaid plastic VHS clamshell case was looking more and more enticing.

I mean yeah, part of me figured I should just let bygones be bygones, invite Naimh over to my house and plow my dick right up her ass to end the whole fucking thing. But the reality is that she meant so much more to me than just a collection of holes to be used. I really did care about her and care about our relationship, and perhaps hearing her scream her ex-boyfriend’s name had actually fucked me up a little more than I realized. I wasn’t ready to just jump back in the sack and pretend that nothing had ever happened.

Zofi and Sam came over on Wednesday afternoon to study and do homework, and by that they actually meant doing homework, the way we used to do before the Holly incident. But just being around each other knowing we couldn’t get jiggy with it around drove all three of us to distraction. Nobody could get any work done.

Zofi was horny and got in her head that even if she wasn’t allowed to mess around with me, The Rule shouldn’t stop her from having sex with Sam, right? Sam was kind enough to point out that while Zofi was technically correct, it would be ridiculously unfair for them to hook up with each other in MY house and prevent me from joining in. So in the end, the two girls packed up their books, each gave me a kiss on the cheek just to remind me they still cared, and left, abandoning me to my imagination of what they’d be doing to each other at Sam’s house.

I didn’t get much studying done after that.

That first day I was too proud to masturbate. I had this egotistical idea in my head that the girls had each individually become addicted to my cock and that after a day or two of going through withdrawal, they’d scrap the stupid “no sex” idea and we’d all end up in a massive orgy together with me spraying gallons of cum all over their nubile bodies.

The thing is: Sam turned out to be right. Despite initially being against the idea of enforced abstinence, Naimh felt truly supported and cherished by the BTC taking such drastic action on her behalf. She went out of her way to thank the girls for making her feel special and wanted, which made the girls feel proud of their action and even more determined to see it through. And as soon as I saw them banding together in the bonds of sisterhood, I knew the moment would come that I’d have to resort to my own right hand.

Especially since Sam and Zofi had already proven that they wouldn’t need to go celibate.

That moment came this morning (Friday) when I woke up with a hard-on that wouldn’t go away. I needed to piss, but I also needed to cum, and poor me hadn’t ejaculated since Tuesday night with Belle yelling “You understand me?” in my face. So in the end, I stood over the toilet bowl, closed my eyes, and jerked off to a medley of spank bank memories of all six of my beloved BTC girls. After squirting great globs of spunk into the bowl, I braced my hand against the wall in front of me, fought the urge to whine, and eventually my dick deflated enough for me to pee.

Belle commented that I looked like shit when we met up to drive to school. Alice repeated that I looked like shit when she met us at the parking lot and gave me a fist bump instead of a ferocious kiss. I went about my day in a zombie state, unsure of how to think or feel. And while the girls took note of my mood, they pretty much just left me alone with my thoughts.

Still, it was a Friday, a day that used to be the happiest day of each week. Seeking a sense of normalcy, the girls still planned to all come hang out at my house, I’d grill up dinner, and we’d cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie together.

Just like old times. Right?

But they say you can’t uncross a bridge. Likewise, you can’t unfuck a girl. We’d already crossed all those lines, and returning to a semi-platonic state of “look but don’t touch” with the BTC was NOT going to cut it. I needed to feel SOMETHING, and with that in mind, early in the afternoon I went over to the loveseat, patted the cushion beside me, and asked, “Who wants a backrub?”

Immediately, five girls all turned to stare straight at Sam as if asking for permission.

Raising her eyebrows, Sam cocked her head to the side and asked, “You gonna give Neevie a backrub, too?”

“Totally,” replied without hesitation. “She can even go first.”

Alice’s hand shot up. “I call ‘next’!”

Naimh waved the Korean girl her over to me. “You can go first. I want a backrub too, but I need a minute, alright?”

I shrugged like it was no big deal either way. Alice was quick to hop over, but rather than take the seat beside me, she gestured for me to back up and spread my legs, and then she sat down right in front of me. A moment later, she whipped her t-shirt over her head and reached back to unclasp her bra.

“Alice...” Sam intoned reproachfully.

Alice shrugged. “What? It’s not like he’s never seen my tits before.”

Sam looked at me. “You gonna be cool if Neevie takes her bra off?”

I swallowed thickly. “Uh, I’d probably try to fuck her brains out.”

Naimh lit up. “Well in THAT case...”

I sighed and tapped Alice. “You can unhook it, but keep the cups on. Like in the old days.”

Alice pursed her lips but nodded reluctantly. She held her hands over her chest, keeping the bra cups covering her breasts while allowing the shoulder straps slide down her upper arms.

I stretched my arms a bit and cracked my knuckles. Less than a minute later, Alice was slumped forward before me, her chin against her chest and her spine going limp as she moaned and groaned rapturously.

Mari glanced over at us and stopped her conversation with Belle. Evaluating the ecstatic pleasure on Alice’s face, she announced, “I call ‘next’.”

“Get in line, bitch!” Zofi hollered from across the room. That made everyone laugh, and for a little while I started to relax. Zofi walked up to me and Alice, set two bottles of beer on the coffee table, and then sauntered away.

I actually had to focus to remember my routine. I’d been making the girls relax and sigh in contentment using ... ah ... a different part of my anatomy, and a few times I caught myself missing a step here or there. Not that Alice seemed to mind or notice. Her head was lolling and she never really stopped groaning.

Completing the final set of firm moves, I let up on the pressure and gave pretty much every square inch of Alice’s bare-naked back a gentle caress. I trailed my fingertips downward, ever so gently ticklish to make her quiver. And I finished up by bending over and giving her a teasing kiss on the back of her neck, my signal to the girl that I was all done.

Alice remained hunched over, eyes closed and breathing deeply as if in a trance. I waited patiently, giving her space to come back down to earth from her higher plane of existence.

Eventually, Alice inhaled deeply and sat up. She turned around, forgetting about her bra, and as it slipped away from her big boobies my eyes dropped down to her exposed nipples. She looked ready to fall into my arms and kiss me, but while I’d sent her off to Dreamland, I hadn’t forgotten The Rule myself. So I held up a hand between us so that she ended up kissing my fingers, and when that happened, she suddenly remembered herself and collected her bra back against her chest.

“Sorry,” Alice mumbled in a bit of a daze.

“No apologies necessary.” I looked up. Naimh sat on the couch nearby, patiently waiting her turn. I’d lost track of where she’d gone when I had started on Alice, but she’d obviously returned. “You ready?”

Naimh’s emerald-green eyes were intense. “Yeah,” she replied thickly as she stood up and extended a hand out to me. “Let’s go.”

“Go? Where?”

She nodded upstairs. “To your bedroom.”

At first I was confused. Wasn’t the whole point of doing this to keep things ‘in balance’? On the other hand, perhaps the point was to get me to cave and fuck Naimh so that everything could just go back to normal. Not just for the two of us, but for all of the BTC.

“Relax,” Naimh said casually. “I’m not gonna seduce you. I just want to talk in private while we’re doing this.”

I didn’t quite trust her. Hell, I didn’t trust myself. I wasn’t lying to Sam when I’d said Naimh and I had never had a long, truly emotional conversation since the urge to rip each other’s clothes off kept getting in the way. Even her confession about Conor during Valentine’s kept getting interrupted with Naimh having to repeat to herself, ‘Valentine’s. Friends. Don’t ruin the plan.’

But I knew we needed to have these conversations if we were ever to truly put the past behind us. So I took her hand and let her help me up.

God help me, I stared at Naimh’s ass the entire way up the stairs. I mean seriously, guys went seventy-two hours without having sex around the world ALL the fucking time, and it had really only been about sixty-five or sixty-six hours for me. But I had just gotten so spoiled having a bevy of willing beauties ready to bend over for me at the drop of a hat that being celibate for two days was making me jumpy. I was like a crack cocaine addict trying to quit cold turkey, ESPECIALLY because I had such fond (and plentiful) memories of the times I’d had this view of the gorgeous Irish redhead’s ass, usually with my dick plunging in and out of it.

Part of me wanted to just say, ‘Fuckit. The girls want me to nail her, she wants me to nail her, Imma gonna nail her’. I was certainly horny enough to want to go through with it. But there was a reason I’d held myself back. I knew that caving right now - just bending her over and shoving myself in – before we’d established the parameters of our new relationship, would basically be giving tacit acceptance of the parameters of our OLD relationship, making promises to Naimh of love and dedication that I wasn’t prepared to fulfill. And when I inevitably fell short of those promises, it could ruin us forever.

We had to figure that stuff out first. If all went well, maybe we could even get all this stuff worked out right here and now and start fucking right away. The possibility of imminent sex was certainly motivation to put the past behind us and get things worked out sooner than later. So I took deep breaths and focused on what was important here: my emotional relationship with a girl who I cared a great deal about, who was very important to me, and who ... if I fucked things up ... could very well lead to the destruction of the BTC.

In a nutshell, that train of thought summarized everything I needed to know to confirm I was making the right decision by breaking up with her. I cared about Naimh, and still loved her in a way, but our physical relationship had turned out to be far more important to me than our emotional one. And when push came to shove, the BTC was more important to me than her. My goal in this conversation was to make sure the club remained intact. Saving my boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with her was a far distant second place to saving my relationship with the group.

“The bed okay?” she asked as soon as we went into my room.

I closed the door behind us and nodded, replying verbally, “Yeah, that’s fine.”

The redhead went to the foot of my bed and started to disrobe. She’d worn only a loose peasant blouse with a wide neckline that presently hung off her right shoulder, and quickly took that off while brushing her long copper-red hair to one side of her neck and down her chest. Then, she lay face down across my mattress before reaching back to unhook her bra.

I climbed onto the bed and straddled her butt. I’d gotten an erection massaging Alice, the same as I always did when putting my hands so intimately on one of the girls, and although it had flagged somewhat it revitalized itself as I stared down at my ex-girlfriend’s freckled skin. Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward to start rubbing her neck and shoulders. And with a sigh, she closed her eyes and let me work her over.

Despite inviting me up here to talk, she didn’t say anything for a long time, just enjoying the feel of my hands as I massaged her. It was almost criminal how few backrubs or other massages I’d given her during our brief relationship. It just seemed that we always ended up getting naked and fucking each other’s brains out instead. I decided to make up for that by giving her a longer massage than my usual routine, which had been designed for efficiency to allow me to conserve enough strength to get through six girls in one afternoon. I didn’t hold myself back this time and focused on really soothing every one of Naimh’s sore muscles.

She was REALLY stiff, and after all, I knew that was mostly my fault.

After doing her neck, shoulders, and back, I slid further down the bed and started peeling back the redhead’s pants. They were a little tight, but not as stiff as jeans would have been, and with a little bit of work I was able to slide them off, leaving her in just her panties and the unhooked bra. Her legs remained slightly parted, and I could see the way her dampness visibly darkened her panties in the crotch. But despite the temptation to whip out my cock, shove the strap of her panties aside and bury myself to the root, I took a deep breath and started working her legs.

I was massaging her feet when Naimh finally sighed and spoke. Her first words were, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Hmm?” I asked distractedly. She’d been silent for so long and I’d been so focused on stretching her toes that I didn’t really register her words at first.

“I said I don’t deserve you,” she repeated even more quietly than the first time, although this time I was actually paying attention. “Any other ex-boyfriend wouldn’t have anything to do with me right now. And yet here you are ... massaging my feet.”

“The BTC must remain ‘in balance’,” I stated evenly.

“You didn’t give Alice a full-body massage.”

I shrugged. “I might’ve if she’d come up here with me. I’d give any of the girls a full-body massage, you know that.”

“None of the other girls screamed their ex-boyfriend’s name during sex.”

I stopped massaging for a moment. “You know what? I think that should be the very last time either one of us mentions that ever again. You apologized and said that was a one-time accident. I accepted your apology and forgave you. As far as I’m concerned, it’s water under the bridge and you and I are back at square one.”

“Square one?” She pivoted slightly onto her right shoulder and looked back at me. With her bra remaining on the mattress, the position gave me a tantalizing glimpse of side boob.

I tried not to look and said, “Start over. Start fresh. You have to understand that I have no interest in punishing you for an accidental slip of the tongue. I don’t hate you, don’t resent you. At the very, very least, you’re back to being just ‘one of the girls’, and that’s the worst case scenario here. After that, it’s just building back up to where you and I need to be.”

“Any chance of building all the way back up to being boyfriend and girlfriend again?”

I sighed. “Perhaps. But not today.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, setting her cheek back down on the mattress. I went back to massaging her feet. And after a while, she glanced back at me again. “Thank you, by the way, for forgiving me. That’s very generous of you.”

I waved her off momentarily and went back to massaging. “I told you: it’s done.”

She nodded, but furrowed her eyebrows and looked back at me. “Is that what YOU want though? To get back to being boyfriend and girlfriend again? I’ve already made my answer to that question pretty clear.”

“Yes, you have. But at the same time, I’m not entirely sure why.” I finished up with her legs and walked around the side of the bed. Taking hold of her left arm, I started working on her shoulder and upper arm. Naimh moaned and closed her eyes as the pleasurable sensations trickled into her brain. “In plain and simple fact, if all you want is for me to ram my dick up your ‘arse’ every other day, we can do that without being boyfriend/girlfriend. So is it the title you really want? The position of priority it gives you? The right to override all the other girls and say, ‘He’s mine!’?”

“What? No.” Naimh opened her eyes and looked up at me again. “I LOVE you, Matty!”

“Do you?”

“Yes ... Very much...”

I sighed. “I want to believe that. And yet, as far as I can tell, our relationship was entirely physical. We spent months lusting after each other, and once we finally had permission to act on that lust we dove in headfirst and never looked back. Good fucking lord you’re so gorgeous and sexy and just looking at you right now makes me wanna... Mmmph.” I had to let go of her arm, bite down on my own fist, and get off the bed to turn around and walk away for a moment.

Naimh giggled behind me. “You say that like me being so gorgeous is a bad thing.”

“Of course it’s not a bad thing, but even you said on Valentine’s Day that we’re so sexually compatible that all we ever do is fuck.”

She sighed. “I did. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to start this relationship because I’ve wanted to fuck your brains out since the first day I met you. But I ALSO wanted all the sweet romantic stuff people dream about when they write poems about true love. We never really got to have that. I mean, you took Zofi out on that incredible Audrey Hepburn day and I admit: I got super jealous of her.”

I frowned. “Did you not enjoy the Napa Day with the mud baths and everything?”

“Of course I LOVED it, and I want more days like that. I want those days with YOU. And now that I’ve put my foot down and gotten my dad to realize that he’s not gonna lose his baby bird just because I’m in love ... Don’t you see? Now we FINALLY have a chance to have the relationship we always wanted.”

I took a deep breath and sighed. “The problem right now is: I don’t know if I love YOU that much.”

Naimh frowned. “What?”

I took another deep breath and exhaled, this time letting the air out slowly in a long, drawn out stream. I went back to massaging her arm, but this time Naimh pulled it away from me and turned onto her side. The movement exposed her big Double-D tits, and my eyes automatically gravitated to them. But she caught my gaze and covered herself with an arm before slipping her bra back on and fastening it behind herself.

I waited until she collected herself and sat up straight. Her cleavage was still incredibly distracting, and with a laugh Naimh reached out to grab her peasant shirt and pull that on as well.

Once she was finally dressed, I turned to face directly outward from my bed. Hanging my head, I took one more deep breath and finally admitted what I hadn’t wanted to admit for a while. It explained everything about my recent behavior, and it explained why even though Naimh’s screaming her ex-boyfriend’s name had hurt me, it hadn’t hurt me that badly.

“I don’t really love you, Neevie,” I said quietly as I turned back to face her, being sure to look into her eyes with open honesty as I said it. “I mean, I love you, but I love you like I love all the BTC girls. That’s not to say you aren’t special, because you are. And that’s not to say you aren’t unique, because you are. You’re still the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen, and even in the midst of all this turmoil, I want nothing more than to tear your clothes off and fuck you within an inch of your life. But boyfriend/girlfriend? Romantic love? We took a shot at that. We discovered how we truly feel about each other. And even though things didn’t really end naturally, it still came to an end, and now we have our answers.”

“I LOVE you, Matty. I’m IN love with you.”

“I don’t have those same feelings for you.”

“You never got a chance to develop them.”

“We had a chance. We became boyfriend/girlfriend. We just spent all our time fucking instead of developing those feelings.”

“Because of circumstances. Because of my dad’s stupid lockdown. Yes, we carried the title, but you said it yourself. We never got to watch a sunset on the beach. We had a grand total of two dates and only what, six or seven weeks together? Give us TIME. Give us a chance.”

“I don’t think you’re hearing me. We HAD time to connect if we’d really wanted to. We HAD a chance, but instead it was always hot and sweaty monkey sex. I couldn’t even term it ‘making love’. Now maybe we didn’t have a lot of opportunities to watch romantic sunsets together, but we could have at least cuddled and asked each other what was on the other’s mind. Instead, we always opted to squeeze in Round 2 in whatever time we had left.”

“Well maybe if you weren’t so good at getting hard for me again within minutes we would’ve cuddled instead of going for Round 2.”

“Well maybe if you were a little less busty and beautiful I’d have taken longer to get it back up. I lusted for you. I STILL lust for you. You are ridonkulously gorgeous to me, and sexy, and oh my freaking lord your asshole is exquisite. But I do NOT want to lead you on into thinking we’re going to last forever. I don’t want to hurt you like that. We were having a lot of fun together, I’ll readily admit that. But once your dad showed up banging on my door and I stopped to REALLY think about my true feelings for you, I realized that I don’t have the same depth of feeling you really need.”

“That’s not true,” Naimh insisted, moisture clear in her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“You love me, I know you do,” she blubbered, and the tears began to flow.

“Neevie, I never wanted to hurt you.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she inhaled sharply. Jabbing a finger at the doorway, she practically hissed. “Who is it? Which one of them do you love more than me?”

My head snapped back at the abrupt mood shift. “Huh? What?”

“It’s Belle, isn’t it? You were fucking my arse every day but really it was Belle you wanted to be with. Only SHE wouldn’t give you the relationship you wanted so you settled for me instead.”

“What? No. Seriously.” I grabbed Naimh’s hands and squeezed them tight. “Look me in the eyes. I’m telling you plainly, it’s not Belle. I’m not in love with Belle. Not like that.”

“You’re lying.”

I held her gaze and stated clearly, “I’ve never lied to you before and I’m not lying now. It’s not Belle, it’s not Sam, it’s not any of them. I love all six of you, but the more I stop to think about it, I’m not in love with any of you. Please believe me: I am NOT refusing to become your boyfriend again because I’d rather be with one of them instead, alright?”

She doubted me. She wanted to continue doubting me. Perhaps it would have been easier for her to believe I was rejecting her because I’d rather be with Belle, rather than admit that there was some fault or flaw in herself that made her unworthy of my true love.

I sighed. “That night when you came to spend that first overnight with me, when Belle talked us into at least trying a relationship, you said you didn’t want to regret never trying. You didn’t want to always wonder if you’d missed out on the greatest love of your life out of fear and married someone else regretting the one that got away.”

Through tears, she nodded. “I remember.”

“We took the chance. We wanted to find out if we could become something truly special. For me, at least, the answer was no. The sex was amazing, yes. The emotional connection? I’m sorry.”

“We didn’t have the chance to find out.”

I squeezed her hands and said, “Perhaps. Maybe you’re right and I’m being too dismissive of a time period when after one incredible weekend your parents locked you down and hampered any chance we had to develop into something more.”

“Yes. Exactly. You ARE being too dismissive.”

I exhaled. “Then we’re back to square one. You’re still one of the BTC. I still care about you, and if fighting for me, fighting for your love for me, is something you still want to do, I...”

As my voice trailed off, she leaned forward eagerly, sensing that at least there was still a chance.

“This is the best I can do: I won’t stop you from pursuing me. I won’t stop you from trying to prove you love me the way you say you do. But I’m not going to just jump right back into our old relationship, either. It wouldn’t be fair for me to dedicate that time to you and prioritize you over the others, and it would be false on my part to pretend to be in love with you when ... at least for now ... I’m not.”

“I get it,” she said with a smile and a nod.

Her smile was a little too hopeful. “Please, Neevie. I don’t want to lead you on.”

“You’re not leading me on. You’ve said you don’t love me like that, and it’s up to me to prove to you otherwise.”

I blinked, not a hundred percent sure I’d said those words in quite that way. She also looked three seconds away from jumping me, so I held up my hands. “No sex. Not right now. As much as it sucks and as much as I want to just lay back and let you go for a ride on top of me, you have to realize that having too much sex is what brought us to this point in the first place.”

“Maaatttyyy...” she whined.

“Our previous relationship was based entirely on sex. If all you want to prove is that we are sexually super-compatible, then there’s nothing left to prove. Our sex is AMAZING; I already know that. If you’re trying to prove that emotionally we should be a romantic couple ... there’s a lot of work to do on that.”

Her shoulders sagged, and she thought about that. Nodding slowly, she took a deep breath and exhaled. And when she looked back up at me, the brightness in her emerald-green eyes had dimmed somewhat.

She no longer looked on the verge of jumping me.

“I get it,” Naimh stated evenly, and she thrust forward a hand, proffered for me to shake. “And I say: challenge accepted.”

I arched an eyebrow, but with a chuckle, I reached up and shook her hand.

“We belong together. I’m going to prove it to you,” she stated firmly.

I smiled at her confidence. “I sincerely hope you do.”

The other girls still wanted backrubs when Naimh and I returned downstairs. With the “no sex” moratorium still in place, it was the closest we could get.

Zofi had indeed called dibs before Mari, hence her “get in line” comment earlier, so I turned her into a limp puddle before declaring I needed a break and downed half my beer. Five minutes later, I returned to the loveseat and Mari crawled into my lap. She hugged me firmly, gave me a quick kiss, and finally turned around so I could start my backrub. She wasn’t very good about keeping her bra cups over her tig ol’ bitties, and I wound up getting a lot of side boob while rubbing her. But Naimh was talking to Sam and nobody seemed inclined to stop us.

I did notice that Alice and Zofi were missing. When I asked Belle where they’d gone, the strawberry-blonde girl sighed and gestured up the stairs. “They’re fucking each other in your bedroom.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

She shrugged. “What? The Rule says we can’t mess around with you. It doesn’t say anything about us not messing around with each other. Otherwise Sam and Zofi are in a LOT of trouble!”

Belle’s voice had crescendoed toward the end of that, and Sam glanced over at us, asking, “What?”

Mari giggled and Belle waved her off. “Nevermind.”

Well, I did mind a little. I held my hands out to Sam asking, “What happened to it being unfair for the girls to bang each other in my house without me?”

Sam shrugged, got up, and sauntered over to join us. “You’re welcome to complain to Alice.”

I just sighed and went back to work on Mari.

After Mari, Sam set down her beer and came over to sit down in front of me and get her backrub. After she was done, I cracked my knuckles and invited Belle to come over, but she shook her head. “I still get to stay overnight because that’s a special Belle rule. You can give me my massage then.”

Sam hadn’t walked away yet, still putting her shirt back on, and she pursed her lips and frowned. I gathered that the discussion of whether or not Belle would continue her overnights had either never been discussed or was still a matter of some debate. But rather than contradict her, Sam just sighed and walked away.

Belle gave me a little smirk before downing the rest of her beer.

In the end, the seven of us played card games, ate dinner, and then gathered together to watch a movie. I sat in one corner with Mari as my single cuddle partner and Alice beside her. Sam and Zofi were on the loveseat. Naimh was on the armchair, and Belle had grabbed a barstool from the kitchen and sat behind us.